posted March 14, 2011 11:14 PM            

Natal Chart
I : sun > cap, asc > cap, moon > gemini
He : sun > gem, asc > virgo, moon > taurus

Composite chart :

I had an affair with this guy. It was very complicated from the very beginning. To tell the whole story will take long. So, I'll go with the basics.

Venus Conjuct Uranus-12th house ( Libra )

Although we knew eachother the affair started with a sudden attraction. It was not a proper relationship ( I am 36 now and never had a relationship - I have relationship phobia )

Sun, Jupiter, Mercury in the 5th house

Sun conjuct Jupiter, Sun conjuct Mercury, Sun trine Saturn-8th, Sun sextile Moon-7th

Mercury conjuct Jupiter, Mercury opposition Pluto-11th, Mercury trine Neptun-1st

Jupiter opposition Pluto-11th

Too much emphasis on the 5th house; he was a musician. We were partying kinda rock-n-roll style, having fun. The sex was magical.As a matter of fact, sex was all we had. For more than 2 years, we had sex almost everyweek. ( He was seeing other women as well and we were open about it )

Venus-12th square Saturn-8th
Unfortunately, while we were having the affair, we did not a have a place of our own for a long time so it was kinda hard to build up. there are a lot more details to add but let's skip them...

Although we were so close while we were having sex, we were unable to really open up to eachother. Mostly, because of me. I have some serious issues on getting intimate with the guys I like.

Mars-3rd square Asc
I was speaking so little but when he ****** me off, I was so blunt. Again just a few words but sharp as a razor.

Other Saturn aspects we have :
Saturn-8th trine Asc>Scorpio
Moon-7th sextile Saturn-8th

At the end I fell for him really hard but I was also tired of his comings&goings and everything was a repeat all the time. I tried to stay away but could not resist. But there came a time when I decided to cut the cord for good. I told him that he was my weakness that I wanted to cure and asked him to help me and not call me again. Well, just a week later we ran eachother and he asked me if he could spend the night with me. I could not resist and said yes but left him there when we could walk together to my house. He called, I said I arrived and he said "I am coming" While I was waiting, I ligt a cigarette it made me sick. I passed out. When I wake up I checked the phone, no messages, no missed calls. We ran to eachother a week later. He was distant. After a shortwhile, I left the town for a long holiday where I learned he fell in love with my neighbour who lives right across my flat. He moved back to town, to her house! Our rooms are next to eachother and yes I can hear ! : D

For the first few months, he kept trying to catch me whenever I was coming&going, he brought me a meal he cooked and so on..
The woman keeps inviting me for a coffee...
I am kind but distant.

Anyway, now it has been nearly 8 months we are neighbours.

I thought I was over him and did not care... but nowadays deep down inside I still feel VERY much connected to him. I want to kill this connection but the more I try to more I sink. Nobody knows but I think I am obsessed with him. My friends will kill me so I can not confess.

Is Pluto the planet causing this obsession?

Mars(Aqu)-3rd trine Pluto-11th
Mercury-5th opposition Pluto-11th
Saturn-8th square Pluto-11th
Neptune-1st sextile Pluto-11th

Why do I feel he still has feelings for me?
Is Neptune the planet caused me to create an illusion of him?

North Node conjusts Neptune-1st

It is 05:00am and look what I am doing. Pathetic.

posted March 15, 2011 05:37 PM            

BUT I think 99.9999% of women the world over would feel deeply "obsessed," uncomfortable, and overinvolved if an ex-lover they had magical sex with fell in love with the neighbor lady and was around like that. Nothing at all is wrong with you, and you're not being obsessive. You're just being totally normal, and everything you're going through is understandable.

posted March 15, 2011 07:44 PM            

Unfortunately, I do not know how to read a synastry chart:S

Well, as a matter of fact..hýmm...I don't know. I guess I have a dark sense of humour with life and even though I find the situation I am in slightly uncomfortable, I smile at it. Life : ) ( sun:cap / asc:cap )

He chose the neighbour because...I can think many things, say many things...I would love him to be obsessed with me but when you are obsessed with someone you just would not let go of that person. He let go of me. I am ok with it. What I am not ok with is me not letting him go.

I feel some kind of a connection beyond our control, I do not understand what is the thing in between us. that chemistry...
I consider the possibility of the chemistry being an illusion of mine.

Him next door with another woman don't hurt that much, but cheating my ownself will kill me.

That's why I opened this topic. The possibily of illusion?

I am looking at astro.com synastry chart of us. But don't know how to read it :S
However, I have moon trine pluto on my natal chart. If that means anything : ))

posted March 16, 2011 07:40 AM            

I have a lot of Saturn energy ( Sun cap, asc cap, mercury cap, venus cap, saturn in the 7th hs, / venus opposition saturn, venus square pluto..... )

I yearn for a soul union, a free love with no strings attached. I can not stand anything conventional. ( Yes, I am capricorn I believe the classic definition of Saturn is primitive and causing a lot injustice to capricorns. When I am ready, I would like to write an article on Saturn-can't it be fun? )

I have Uranus right at the top of my chart- 10th house. Mars & Neptune in the 11th.Pluto 9th. Moon 5th in Gemini. I have a lot of aspects. All denying eachother : D

It's not easy for a guy to reach me. So, I mostly blame myself when things fall apart. My emotional reflekses is way too extraordinary.

See, today I am thinking now why am I still
investigating the connection in between us?
Talking about him on a forum. Why am I doing this ? : D

Ighhh : D He is easy to think in a way ) If that makes any sense to you : )

posted March 17, 2011 03:52 PM            

Sun square Pluto
Moon sextile Mars
Moon opposition Neptune
Moon trine Pluto
Moon opposition Nort Node
Mercury sextile Lilith
Mercury sextile Pholus
Venus opposition Saturn
Venus sextile Lilith
Venus sextile Pholus
Venus sextile Vesta
Mars opposition Sun
Mars conjuction Neptune
Mars sextile Pluto
Mars square Lilith
Mars square Pholus
Mars opposition Juno
Jupiter square Neptun
Jupiter conjuction Lilith
Jupiter conjuct Pholus
Saturn sextile moon
Saturn square Mars
Saturn square Jupiter
Saturn conjuction Saturn
Saturn sextile Ceres
Uranus squares Venus
Uranus conjuction Uranus
Uranus opposition Chiron
Neptune opposition Sun
Neptune conjuction Neptune
Neptune sextile Pluto
Neptune square Lilith
Neptune square Pholus
Pluto trine Sun
Pluto opposition Mars
Pluto sextile Neptun
Northnode opposition Sun
Northnode conjuction Neptune
Northnode sextile Pluto
Northnode square Lilith
Northnode square Pholus
Lilith trine Uranus
Lilith square Northnode
Chiron sextile Sun
Chiron sextile Mercury
Chiron conjuction Mars
Chiron conjuction Jupiter
Chiron square Saturn
Chiron conjuction Chiron
Chiron sextile Juno
Pholus square Neptune
Pholus square Nortnode
Pholus conjuction Lilith
Pholus conjuction Pholus
Ceres square Neptun
Ceres conjuction Lilith
Ceres conjuction Pholus
Pallas sextile Neptun
Pallas trine Pluto
Juno conjuction Lilith
Juno conjuction Pholus
Juno conjuction Vesta
Venus square Pluto

posted March 21, 2011 05:00 PM            

I need help desperately. we ran eachother this weekend. He was so close- all touchy and teasy... after a while he asked if we could spend the night together on friday...
...... ( that's his only free day as his girlfriend will be away ) I once again could not resist and said yes. He gave a kiss goodbye and left the place.

Igghhh ! Please, please take a look at the aspects above and give me your opinion on
what kind of an affect he has on me and me on him.

why does not he just let me go forever and keep doing this to me over and over again..