posted March 26, 2011 01:12 PM            

You should say that although you realize she's going through some things, you really need someone to be close to you, right now.

Tell her that you need someone to be with you when you go for your treatments, to pick up medications, to help you cook, etc... even just to hold your hand.

posted March 26, 2011 01:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
Oh, the difficult thing is, this is also distance. She wants to be here for me during chemo. But once it is done, she needs space. When an aries says they need space to find themselves, what does this mean? How long do they typically take? Like, a real long time? She said she feels like she has sacrificed a lot in the relationship and needs to take a break emotionally and find herself.

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It could be that going through this with you scares her, overwhelms her with emotions, and that she needs to find her independence to regroup and recenter herself.

I feel this way, at times. Even in the best of relationship, I need a break... just a time to be alone, independent, and to not have any pressure on me.

For me, I need this time alone, without the demands of a relationship, in order to replenish, and to bring back to the relationship my "best self". All I can say is that my stresses melt away when I am allowed to have my freedom, and keep my life simple, for a little while.

I think that considering you need her, you should honestly tell her, that while you understand that she needs her space to regroup, and that you want her to have that, that you need her attention as much as possible.

posted March 26, 2011 01:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
I guess I do not want to come across as too needy as I always thought that pushed aries away. Are there some tough current progressions in the sky making (relationship) matters tough for the aries? I don't get how she could be going on for months and months about deeply loving me, promising to be with me forever, saying "you got me", etc. and all of a sudden almost seeming a little cold and needing an undetermined amount of time. It is a steep fall and it hurts, told her that a little. I guess I just want to remind her of that spark before she goes off for her space. Confused in general.

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I think if you come across as insecure in your needs, that may rub her the wrong way. But, honestly, I promise that if you are direct and honest, that will get you better results...

Don't worry about sounding "needy"!!! You're going through, chemo. It's o.k. to need someone to be there for you

posted March 26, 2011 02:05 PM            

That was one issue she had with me, I am too wordy and she wants concise concise concise. Been trying to be more blunt and concise. Also, told her how deeply I value honesty and sincerity in regards to the heart and I am trying to show that through actions via skype. Are aries typically straightforward with their emotions and sincere if they realize that is what the other person wants? I don't want her to feel forced to say "I love you" just cause I expressed that I love hearing those words. She cried today and told me she worries about my lack of sleep. Maybe that is the pisces part (she is a cusp)..Said she misses me.

Also, she is on this whole "being practical and realistic kick" and seems to be pushing emotions aside a bit. I have heard the word practical way too much these days, ugh. It can be overdone too, just like emotions.

posted March 26, 2011 02:12 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
Do you know where I can get further info on how current progressions impact various aspects of her (natal) chart? Did not find that on astro. I had posted our synastry elsewhere and a few people seemed to like it.

That was one issue she had with me, I am too wordy and she wants concise concise concise. Been trying to be more blunt and concise. Also, told her how deeply I value honesty and sincerity in regards to the heart and I am trying to show that through actions via skype. Are aries typically straightforward with their emotions and sincere if they realize that is what the other person wants? I don't want her to feel forced to say "I love you" just cause I expressed that I love hearing those words. She cried today and told me she worries about my lack of sleep. Maybe that is the pisces part (she is a cusp)..Said she misses me.

Thanks for providing answers, support and info.

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If you are interested in progressions... astro.com can draw you up a progressed chart and include the transits...

I would visit www.astrotheme.com and look at their ephemerides tool, to check the transits to her natal chart... look specifically at transiting planets within 3 degrees of the natal planet in her chart.

Lastly, Carl - I know you are a Scorpio, and you appreciate subtle communication, but Aries are wired differently. We need DIRECT communication. Even if she's an Aries/Pisces cusp, and probably even more, both of those signs appreciate their male companion telling them what they need, and being direct - that often times makes US feel BETTER!!!

You are going to have to show her how to go through this - by telling her directly, things like, "tell me that you love me." Or, "I want you to call me later." Etc. Etc.

Yes, you may feel out of your element, and it may not be pleasant, but waiting around for her to "read your mind" may prove to be very frustrating.

I'm glad that she spoke with you today and told you that she's worrying about you. She's probably going through a lot of fear... how could she not?

posted March 26, 2011 02:19 PM            

She praises me for being patient and I am trying so hard to be. She does appreciate how patient I have been but I have told her many times I also require steady and solid. It scares me that she might need 1 year or more.

posted March 26, 2011 03:04 PM            

all the best with your chemo. That must be tough.

In my dealings with my aries ex, directness is so important. He and I reconnected after some time apart and now in every step I am honest about what I am feeling or thinking. It helps stop miscommunication and confusion.

posted March 26, 2011 04:41 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
I am wondering if it is common for aries to need breaks and as a scorp, I should just not feel jealous of that need at all and also not take it personal. Is that what I need to take away from this? Don't take it personally? (I am an aries moon so I think it helps me a little better in regards to understanding her even as a scorp, plus I have lots of sag in my chart like mercury and venus).

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I would say that it's best to not take it personally, because knowing the Aries sign, it's difficult... and like I said, I have been in good relationships where I still needed to have and use my freedom...

posted March 26, 2011 04:57 PM            

Is it fair to call the typical aries fickle? Or no? They seem to embrace change.

posted March 26, 2011 05:11 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
Hehe, understanding the aries mentality even more because of another aries, thanks!

Is it fair to call the typical aries fickle? Or no? They seem to embrace change.

I have talked to a few of my aries friends and they seem to like breaks too. What makes an aries come back after..sometimes..really long breaks, sometimes of 1-1.5 years? How do they cut off ties and come back? As a scorp I just need something more solid and steady, but we get back to that being too suffocating for an aries who wants alone time.

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Carl,

I dunno. I guess you could call us fickle. Maybe even primitive, emotionally insecure, immature, etc. I'd like to tell you that we get better as we age - haha, but I'm not so sure.

I think in many ways we get worse And, cranky. Haha.

My grandmother was a Scorpio, and her love transformed my whole life. I think she really understood me, and I miss her everyday.

I think if you can see Aries for what they are, and realize what you need... and figure out whether or not you can be with an Aries and be happy, is most important.

posted March 26, 2011 05:24 PM            

Cap - Aries - sag - taurus and now aries.

posted March 26, 2011 05:31 PM            

A break is sometimes what is needed. Both my aries ex and i grew more mature through time apart. He told me came back for me but needed the time to think and have some space.

posted March 26, 2011 05:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
Never tried virgo, haha.

Cap - Aries - sag - taurus and now aries.

The thing is, I don't want to be frustrated by an aries, learning more and more, via this post, how to love an aries and act in a way to make them feel comfortable in the relationship.

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You sound like a wonderful person, Carl. Your Aries is very lucky to have you.

posted March 26, 2011 06:17 PM            

We were together in person from early March last year till late October. I had to leave in late October for treatment. So been about 5 months already of long distance. 13 months total, about.

posted March 26, 2011 08:09 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by carl:
She is finding herself and uncertain but hopeful. My strategy is not to be sappy, she knows how I feel. Is this good: Be confident, "I know you love me babe, just wanna give you time." and stuff like that. "Confident you love me."

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posted March 27, 2011 01:21 AM            

She also said "Babe, work where ever you can find it, does not have to be in my city" . Maybe that is typical aries? Being practical. She said "Don't mean to push you away though, if you find work in my city, great."

Still don't get it, if she knows she will need space after chemo, why not just do it now? It is not an insult to me while I am going through it. But when I ask this, she gets annoyed and tells me she has made up her mind and will be there for me for my chemo.