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Author Topic:   How do you let go of your soulmate?...
Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 1217
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 24, 2011 08:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How?...


How do you let go of someone who is a part of you?


How can you make the pain feel less mutilating?


How?...

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Voix_de_la_Mer
Knowflake

Posts: 612
From:
Registered: Aug 2011

posted November 24, 2011 12:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Voix_de_la_Mer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It'll be different for everyone, but, for me, writing, friends, travel, and time.

You have to get used to be alone again (travel - if even to the nearest beach or wilderness, or park), and also to be social and to enjoy other people's company without the deep connection you have become accustomed to. And of course, the old cliche, time.

These are the things I done to forget about someone I believed to be the perfect person for me, or 'soulmate', if you like.

You know what happened? As soon as I found that peace in myself again, someone I couldn't have dreamed up if I'd tried came into my life, and blew what I thought was a soul connection right out the water.

Ana, I am so sorry you feel like this, and I know it is easy for others to say these things to you. It is not instant, but you will heal. I found that the more I done for myself, the more released I felt from the loss, and the stronger I felt.

You must of course also allow yourself to grieve - if you want to cry, cry; if you want to scream, scream.

Another thing that helped me was writing.
I write songs and poetry anyway, but I think this can be useful even if you are not used to expressing yourself in this manner. Aside from the cathartic benefits, it gives you the ability to look back and see your progress in black and white. When you can look back and see how broken you were, from a place of healing, it is very encouraging.

You can do this, I know it

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Emeraldopal
Knowflake

Posts: 1236
From: U
Registered: Apr 2011

posted November 24, 2011 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Emeraldopal     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hera, honestly I don't think
there is any way to let go..
you learn to deal with the bond..

When you Connect to your HigherSelf..
Oversoul, you are together with your
Other Half, what God has joined together
let
no man put asunder..
no matter what, you are together..
This is the World of Illusion..

Soul Mates are ties we will always have. ...
Family. ...Friends, a Circle 0

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone

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mintgirl123
Knowflake

Posts: 1898
From:
Registered: Nov 2009

posted November 25, 2011 01:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
We encounter several soulmates in our lives if we are lucky, and the ones we have to leave behind does cause extreme pain.

I guess what you need is ALOT of time, patience, determination. It took me 16 months to properly let go of mine. You also need faith and need to remember everything happens for a reason...They came into your life to teach you things..Now they've done their job and now they will leave your life.

You just need to be focused on moving on. It's extremely hard, I know =(

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Hera
Knowflake

Posts: 1217
From: the OR
Registered: Sep 2010

posted November 25, 2011 02:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hera     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have DC ruler Moon conj South Node on 12H cusp... and Moira conj DC... ALL my relationships have been karmic, some with soulmates... It was easier to let go when the relationship didn't serve ME anymore... but when outside forces keep you apart, it is hard to accept.

Why does the Universe bring two people together if afterwards only seeks to separate them? Is this fair? I do not think so...

Yes, meeting your soulmates is a wonderful gift... one that you don't start to apreciate until you have let go... I am grateful to have met him... but it hurts to let him go... because we weren't finished from my point of view (his too)... but everything was against us... so what options do we have?...

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mintgirl123
Knowflake

Posts: 1898
From:
Registered: Nov 2009

posted November 25, 2011 03:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for mintgirl123     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have my juno conjunct my desc conjunct my vertex, both by 1 degree. I seem to attract karmic relationships too. But you know, instead of looking it as a loss, you got to look at it for what it really was-a gift. You learnt things. You grew as a person. You should be glad, cos alot of people don't ever get to experience a real bonded relationship like us. I was hurt completely bc I was betrayed, but I came out on the other side a much stronger, more mature, much wiser and determined person. I learnt an incredible amount. I am grateful for the experience.

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seeker3030
Knowflake

Posts: 436
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2009

posted November 27, 2011 04:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for seeker3030     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Why does the Universe bring two people together if afterwards only seeks to separate them? Is this fair? I do not think so...

Yes, meeting your soulmates is a wonderful gift... one that you don't start to apreciate until you have let go... I am grateful to have met him... but it hurts to let him go... because we weren't finished from my point of view (his too)... but everything was against us... so what options do we have?...


Oh blimey you just said exactly what I feel!!! Going through something almost exactly the same right now. It feels like such a waste - as though we're being dangled on the end of some cosmic puppet string for sh*ts and giggles. I know there's a positive side; the learning, the fact we got to meet them at all etc. Unfortunately, that just doesn't seem to be adequate balm for the soul right at the moment.

What is unendingly true is that time will pass, hearts will heal and hope will live again bla de bla. Hera I wish you peace and an end to the constant nagging whine of unfinished business... you're not alone hun. Much love and luck to you lovely xx

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 519
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted December 13, 2011 01:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hello,

I am also struggling with this too. So I feel and understand your pain! He and I also love each other deeply but really not meant to be together for this life but we shared something great but it has to crack in order for us to move on.

Sparkling

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Lioness
Knowflake

Posts: 4246
From:
Registered: Mar 2010

posted December 13, 2011 09:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lioness     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Im with you ladies.. Try working with yours, and still having to see him everyday.. I swear its fun, but not fun at all...

Here's a bief bit of whats been going on with me and the fish man

We stopped talking for 3 months, started talking again.. It became more and more.... All day everyday.. Very intense... (and your gonna think Im nuts.. butttt)
Anyways we have been doing alot of flirting, and today he wanted to well dig into that...
(he said via text) I said No.. I said we are getting carried away.. (its not meant to be) and that we have to stop.... He said I was right, and he said he would take a step back... So we both mutually agreed... To mellow out...

He did tell me... " your the reason I smile everyday"
Which OMG.. My leo-ness just loved

Its just getting to intense and IDK... I told him he scares the crap out of me..

Soulmate relations sux! Its just tooo painful and confusing..


I feel like the best thing to do is walk away totally... But IDK how to do that, when I have to see him everyday...

Hera I wish I had an answer for you... Only sadly I dont because IDK how to even walk away...
When I have... Something always brings us right back to this SAME scenario...
very frustrating. In deed

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hippichick
Moderator

Posts: 983
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted December 15, 2011 09:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Relationships never end, they just change form...

With unconditional love, one must let go.

Easier said than done, I know, on the human/physical plane.

I think we have many "soulmates"

Curently mine (despite having a wonderful boyfriend in my life) is a 20 month old cat, one of 6 in my house, born under the sign of Pisces...

blessings!

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Got Gemini??
Knowflake

Posts: 208
From: The Planet Mercury
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 20, 2011 07:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Got Gemini??     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Letting go of her has been very difficult and changing for me. Its difficult for me because I've loved her since I was a boy. 23 years later, it seems like a part of me is dying. I feel so numb and empty now. I guess that has helped mitigate the pain somewhat. However, I've never felt like this in my life.

I wrote her a letter telling her how I felt about her earlier this year and in hindsight, I think that was a mistake.

------------------
Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Gemini Mercury
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars
Virgo Asc

And yes, I'm a guy!

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hippichick
Moderator

Posts: 983
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted December 23, 2011 10:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
We, as humans, can put too much importance in another. Our ego can not let go cause of how the other person makes us feel about ourselves.

We need to be able to feel good about ourselves no matter who is in our lives.

When you give your power away to another that feels terrible, energetically, to the other cause they feel they are responsible for your emotional well-being.

Letting go is the truest expression of unconditional love, letting another continue on their path as they see fit, with or without us, soul mate or not.

Spent a lifetime learning this.

I define me not who is in my life.

blessings

t~

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Got Gemini??
Knowflake

Posts: 208
From: The Planet Mercury
Registered: Oct 2010

posted December 23, 2011 03:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Got Gemini??     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hippichick:
We, as humans, can put too much importance in another. Our ego can not let go cause of how the other person makes us feel about ourselves.

We need to be able to feel good about ourselves no matter who is in our lives.

When you give your power away to another that feels terrible, energetically, to the other cause they feel they are responsible for your emotional well-being.

Letting go is the truest expression of unconditional love, letting another continue on their path as they see fit, with or without us, soul mate or not.

Spent a lifetime learning this.

I define me not who is in my life.

blessings

t~


True to an extent. Sometimes, we are not in love with the feeling of being in love or, we are not in love with how the other person makes us feel about ourselves. Sometimes, we love the other person for who they are and how they are. They are kind, helpful, goodhearted, unselfish, understanding, honest, loyal, supportive, driven, smart, etc. To me, that is the hallmark of true love, its loving someone for who THEY are, not loving the feeling you have inside you when they are around.

This is something I learned in my journeys. I was in awe of this woman and she wasn't even my type physically (but in the end, knowing her taught me that personality trumps looks)! I was mesmerized by her beautiful personality and I actually developed STRONG feelings for her because of the way she was.

Now, the person I believe to be my mirror, I fell in love with her when I was 9 years old. That one was unexplainable. With her, its more of a bond that is there that I don't know how to control. It didn't come from me liking her personality traits, and it didn't come from me loving the way I felt when she was around. It just happened the day we met.

------------------
Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Gemini Mercury
Cancer Venus
Virgo Mars
Virgo Asc

And yes, I'm a guy!

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birdy
Knowflake

Posts: 118
From:
Registered: Dec 2011

posted January 02, 2012 03:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for birdy     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I did it by going thru all the emotional hell and stopped trying to run from it. I lived in it, I breathed it, I enjoyed it because it produced some lovely poetry, I let it run it's course. I realized our future together was me playing house in my head. I look back now and I want the very best for him. I want him to be happy and find someone he's crazy about and is equally crazy for him. I dont know if he will ever find that. But for me to get to this emotional breaththrough is huge.

Traveling helped, talking, writing, write as much as possible even if youre terrible at it. You'd be surprised, eventually you write something amazing. It's like therapy without the bill.
Hope this helps in some way. I hope none of it was trite and was able to help you even momentarily.

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MC2012
Knowflake

Posts: 579
From: Calgary
Registered: Jan 2012

posted January 31, 2012 10:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MC2012     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by hippichick:
Relationships never end, they just change form...

With unconditional love, one must let go.
Easier said than done, I know, on the human/physical plane.
I think we have many "soulmates"
Curently mine (despite having a wonderful boyfriend in my life) is a 20 month old cat, one of 6 in my house, born under the sign of Pisces...
blessings!




Sooo true

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love being Aries
Knowflake

Posts: 888
From:
Registered: Apr 2011

posted February 08, 2012 02:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for love being Aries     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I understand your pain Hera because I'm exactly in the same situation. when you two want to be together but someone else and several complications stand between you two. Its really hard. but this is life. I really don't understand why we have to be with someone and that one person is not meant to be with us. i know time will heal everything but I wish I'd open my eyes and the healing has already been done.

------------------
Pity from an Aries is worse than their contempt \m/

www.lenormanddraws.blogspot.com

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