posted January 23, 2012 02:36 PM            

I've actually stumbled upon the most bizarre thing, which I'm still trying to grok - namely, because my TF is involved in this pattern.

I'm aware of surrogate soul-bonding; the means of forming soul contracts in order to fulfill karma with souls that are similar to, or on the same path. Whether these would become de facto soulmates or not is unclear to me. But, here's the thing.

I found about a -dozen- charts yesterday via one who has been through a bunch of lives with me, and I believe was my daughter in a more recent life. Since finding me, she's also stopped searching for this type of maternal figure, given her own mother is very ill and debilitated. (Mine was too throughout most of my adolescence, so I do have lessons to impart in that arena, regardless.) Without getting into the nitty-gritty, the gist is this.

I've come to the understanding (since my composite with my TF) that soulmates, or a soul-bonded group, will incarnate with similar signatures and patterns; in our case, we all seem to have the same planets in stellium repeating (with the only difference being that my twin and I have a close Sun-Moon inside the stellium along with conjunctions to outers - Uranus, Jupiter, Neptune) and a secondary pairing of planet+NNode. Tight. No less than 2' orb. But ours is SNode. I take that to mean this particular karma has been resolved, and we're onto other things, but the soul group is still here - perhaps dealing with the rest of it amongst themselves?

Here's what repeats:

NNode+Mars (2)
NNode+Jupiter (3)
NNode+ Saturn (2)
NNode+Venus (1)
NNode+Uranus (2)
NNode+Sun (1)
NNode+Neptune (1)

Three of those have no soul-bonding, (they don't have the close stellium) but remaining karma (NNode+X). And this is how we're 'connected' now.

Me; my TF; her sister; her mother; her mother's a**hole of a moocher 'boyfriend' who acts as her legal caretaker, herself; my husband; my stepdaughter; her mother (my husband's ex-wife). (There are a few others which I feel may be acting as surrogates, as they have no bonding, but the karmic signature, or that which almost looks like a 'copy' but is missing crucial details - if that makes sense.)

Any rate, I've never actually spent time in person with my co-investigator here; she was a client of mine years ago, who came to me because of her family dysfunction. I insisted she find local help after about 6 months (she has), discontinued the professional relationship and became her mentor since. We're slowly moving into just being friends and having a more equal relationship, but since the beginning, there's been an extreme imbalance of power, where I've been her teacher / mentor / authoritarian figure. Just call me Saturn!

So, I've never met her mother or sister, either, outside of speaking with them - and exchanging some unusually harsh words with both (her sister defending their mother - she was 14; her mother for being, frankly, a selfish excuse of a maternal figure who needed a serious reality check and to ditch her abusive boyfriend who had moved onto abusing her two daughters - for which I WOULD NOT stand). My 'protege' was able to get the help she needed and is making slow, but wonderful improvements in her life (our own composite is Sun-Uranus to the second; shocking? Hardly) so her 'family' has since settled their opinions about me being a 'terrible, horrible person who doesn't understand and just wants to fill the eldest's head with lies'. (Because I clearly had nothing better to do as a practising therapist in abuse recovery).

It LOOKS like, thought obviously, I can't say - that my husband, his daughter and her mother, my protege, her sister and her mother - were all related. Not sure how, but I'm seeing a repeated pattern here, with the weirdest being the 'copy' of her sister's chart so closely mimicking mine and my twin's, it's bizarre. Only thing I could think there was that she was our daughter, since their C-ASC is exactly conjunct my natal DSC, my Sun/Moon factors, as does his, and our PoMarriage, and my PoDaughters. I already knew we'd been married - and in a more recent life. THAT part didn't get me. But that it was her sister? Huh. Maybe.

She, her sister, and my stepdaughter are all VERY connected. The composite between my husband and twin is interesting in and of itself, but applying to the now. There's a similar potential animosity between his and my husband's ex-wife.

Let's just say it's a VERY good thing I'm a mature individual who understands that my stepdaughter may've cut in line ahead of my twin in order to have her karma resolved - maybe even because of her father. I understand - and honour - my commitments. No matter how difficult it may be at times. (I'm also VERY karmically tied to my husband's family. More than anything, I'm here for them, and he and I were sort of thrown together.

Weirdest thing is that EVERYTHING changed between us after we got married. Not in that sense of how couples can grow apart, but it was like a switch clicked. Like the separating aspect was just continuing on out after having made its conjunction. We've been feeling the drift sense. Then, when my twin confirmed for me his identity after 7 years, and I suddenly had the ability to relate to him as a full person, I wasn't sure WHAT I felt.

I definitely feel as if my karma with my husband is resolved. Our getting married did that, and now that we're together, it's all about fulfilling the debt. One. Damned. Day. At. A. Time.

I love him, don't mistake me. But not like before. I feared we were just compatible in our progressions, but that's not it, either. I really think that subtle transition from the companion to the twin (once the twin is found) has taken place. We both know it, and we're just doing what needs to be done, the best we can.

I don't -think- his twin is here. I feel the bulk of his karma is between me, his daughter, and his ex-wife, in which case ... uh, here we are! And while I have a feeling like, 'Augh, can we GO now?' I also have this internal STOP sign going, 'NO! YOU are where you need to be!' And I know that's right.

I just have to wait for my twin. In the meantime, live my life, and be grateful for what we're about to bring into the world - oddly enough, together, being that we're creatives, and our biggest brainchild is about to be 'born'. (That would kinda explain some of the 'pregnancy' aspects in my progression; heh.)

He's actually staying in the most ridiculous, distant, dead-end relationship during this transition. Where, I kid you not, the modus operandi is, 'WHAT? Of COURSE I'm not telling HER that. I'm telling YOU that. Do you take me for an idiot?' It did break off a little further piece of my soul when he defended his actions as being, well, HE didn't run off to Los Angeles and get married with a stepdaughter. HE, on the other hand, is lonely, and hopes I don't look too poorly down on him for this.

... Oh, jeez. Hang on while I collect the pieces of my guilt-ridden soul you just smashed.

Anyway.

We've got a bunch of odd things here. I'm not used to seeing twin karma tied into some major group karma, but I guess I should be. It DOES seem like a bunch of surrogating is going on here, too, in order to learn the lessons but allow the original souls to do their own thing - such as my protege has found ways to bring in those who have similar energy to me, and she has a similar energy signature to my stepdaughter.

It all gets me, though. Not that karma always makes sense - or even half the time. But I found it extremely curious to see these VERY strong ties between people who've never met, or who are connected only by association to other close ties.

My stepdaughter has a very interesting response to those with whom I have soul ties - like the surrogate soul who helped me understand where to go regarding my twin. (Who has VANISHED since my twin and I became more honest. It's BIZARRE. After ... 2 years, of close contact, near-constant, and yet only brief moments of real connection - there was ALWAYS a wall - but he's just ... dropped off the face of the earth! I'm not chasing after him, either.)

Her initial reaction to him was ... strange. Unusual. She saw the amity between us and the close rapport. (He became an honourary uncle, and I need to track his a** down so that he doesn't drop out of her life completely.) She basically had the attitude of calling him her 'second stepfather'. Since her mother's about to remarry, we were figuring that's what she meant then. But she told her father flat out, 'but they love each other, don't they?' (She was 9 then). We thought we did. Surrogate karma can be VERY deceptive. But at that point, yes. We 'did', for all intents and purposes, and my husband is NOT a jealous, nor possessive person. He felt happier, better, more connected, having more of our souls in one big basket, even if it was unconscious. The more love, the better, right?

I didn't realise it until last night, when she acted like she was suddenly on the worst sugar high EVER as I was talking to my twin. She confessed after, 'Well, it's because you're talking to someone I want to talk to so badly!' I blinked; she'd met him ONCE - and less than a month ago! Oh, sure, she knows the depth of our connection. She doesn't have to ask. We have that psychic link. Curiously, he responded similarly when we spoke of it after I'd put her to bed FINALLY. 'Oh, I'd love to talk to her. The ideas of children are simplistically brilliant. She can share anything she wants to.'

... Wow. Well, okay, then.

I guess when the walls (mostly - to the point of being appropriate) came down, he began to feel able to really express himself, or he's just grown, and we're filling in the details of each other that we missed via the only medium we had in that respect for several years.

I suspect, before long, since she wants to be on set when we're shooting, (as she's a budding filmmaker herself) they'll get more of a chance to spend time together, since he'll be coming in on weekends to shoot the series, or certain weeks during summer. Either way, they'll have the chance to build a better bond, which they clearly both want to do.

I guess it shouldn't surprise me. It DOES me have me scratching my head regarding just WHAT the HELL it is I'm supposed to do with ANY of this anymore.

But I suppose that's not an enigma that must be resolved today.

So. Thoughts? You ever see this kind of soul signature across such 'disparate' charts in connection with those tightly bonded? Does the surrogate theory hold any water? What of the NNode pairings indicating karma to be sorted through -now- ? (And why is our SNode, do you think? In fact, our composite really doesn't have -any- NNode connections, which is curious, since our synastry has lots of both, including the angles. In our composite? It's practically a singleton.

-AMP

posted January 24, 2012 04:30 AM            

"I don't -think- his twin is here. I feel the bulk of his karma is between me, his daughter, and his ex-wife, in which case ... uh, here we are! And while I have a feeling like, 'Augh, can we GO now?' I also have this internal STOP sign going, 'NO! YOU are where you need to be!' And I know that's right."
--There's a lot of NN involvement with the charts but not many SN conjunctions, correct? The SN provides a point of balance, easing the tension of religious adherence to the NN which can feel overwhelming at times. I would look to Moon contacts, esp to Venus, in those synastries and lean hard on them to provide some relief. Also, I would recommend, if you can, staying close to the friends who impact your SN with conjunctions, and as you're bonding with them/helping them out, you can feel some emotional comfort and ease there as the quote here sounds like a stressful situation.

"and our biggest brainchild is about to be 'born'. (That would kinda explain some of the 'pregnancy' aspects in my progression; heh.)"
--This is great insight and interesting too

"We've got a bunch of odd things here. I'm not used to seeing twin karma tied into some major group karma, but I guess I should be."
--Nodal connections from a twin to other people in your soul group are possible and likely. This is because twin soul connections are partially comprised of aspects of soul mate connections. And one's twin soul (flame) will be soul mates with their twin's soul mates. It's a natural extension of the twin process it seems.

"It DOES seem like a bunch of surrogating is going on here, too, in order to learn the lessons but allow the original souls to do their own thing - such as my protege has found ways to bring in those who have similar energy to me, and she has a similar energy signature to my stepdaughter."
--Yes, I agree! I've noticed soul mates bringing in similar energy as well. All a part of a thread.

"like the surrogate soul who helped me understand where to go regarding my twin. (Who has VANISHED since my twin and I became more honest. It's BIZARRE. After ... 2 years, of close contact, near-constant, and yet only brief moments of real connection - there was ALWAYS a wall - but he's just ... dropped off the face of the earth! I'm not chasing after him, either.)"
--Well he can be thanked, regardless It is so funny the synchronicity at play.

"You ever see this kind of soul signature across such 'disparate' charts in connection with those tightly bonded?"
--I have, and it is as you say, often. Sometimes feeling a prison and sometimes feeling a retreat. There are lessons to be learned the hard thing to take is that they are taught simultaneously --in different ways--. I think this is so you can get the message loud and clear, and that may be why it feels sometimes like a never ending beat of the same old drum. I have a feeling that the messages are said in different ways because spirit as it were is using all the possible avenues to get through to you. Not taking any chances. What affects one member of this group affects the rest (for instance a death), in death charts you will see very clearly a certain degree being activated, and this degree will be in all of theirs, or most of them, the ones hardest hit, conjunct across the charts, whether by planet, luminary, angle or node/vertex. You will see clearly then where they were all bonded and what they had to learn there, and also what they are collectively taking away from that loss, what did that person mean to them in total.

"Does the surrogate theory hold any water?"
--In terms of facilitating bonds, it makes sense to me!

posted January 24, 2012 09:18 AM            

I've been through the whole process and it was so difficult, especially the letting go and the harmonizing part because there was a lot of work to do in between those stages.

Before we had ever met, before I knew on a coscious level he existed, I was writing his name, drawing his face, seeing his art come through my own hands. And on his part, the digits of his ss# was my birthday including the year, in consecutive order with a couple of zeros thrown in.

I remember the first time I truly felt the connection-this was before I knew anything other than he shared the first name of the surname of a family I had created for one of my stories about fourteen years beforehand. (He was much younger than me. Of age, but barely, but it wasn't about a romantic relationship.) I had known him through work for about a week, and he was talking about something emotional for him. He wasn't crying or anything but I felt his feelings so intensly, without even thinking I went over and hugged him. In those days, that's not something I did. I barely hugged people I knew, never mind a work mate I had known for such a short period of time.

As time went on, things unfolded both feelings wise and materially. Like I said it wasn't about romance, though we did have one night and I cried because it was wrong. Not because of our age difference. No. Just because it wasn't what it was supposed to be. At that time I didn't know what it was supposed to be but it wasn't that. He was so sweet. He put on a song and said this is for you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I told him he didn't hurt me, because he didn't.

What I felt for him was everything all rolled into one. There was no compartmentalizing. Our relatinship wasn't any one thing.

Like I said, he was very young and about six months after we had met, it was time for him to go out and experience whatever experiences laid ahead of him. I wanted to tell him to stay. I wanted to try to manipulate him into doing so but I knew that would be the wrong thing to do. So, I went and saw him off.

After that, to put it simply, I was a walking emotional wound. I barely left the house, wanted nothing to do with anyone, my time was spent crying, journaling, reading books on spirtiuality, drawing and hoping and praying that one day there would be a knock on my door and there he would be. I even drew pictures depicting the scene in an attempt to manifest it. Tweleve years later and it hasn't happened yet.

But in the isolation and through the pain, I reached levels of spiritualilty that you would not believe. My pisces moon and many of the secrets of the 12th house had come to the surface full force.

One day, when I started to slowly but surely make my way back into the world again, I was out walking and it popped into my head I was going to have a child very soon. I chuckled at the notion because I felt no need or want to associate with anyone never mind have sex with them. And I was 32 years old. I had tried to get preganant a few times and other times I wasn't trying but I wasn't doing anything to prevent it either and I never got pregnant. So, by thirty I figured I couldn't have children. I wrote the thought I'd be having a child-soon even, off as my higher self being very confused.

On July 2nd, two months before my 34th birthday, I gave birth to my son. The circumstances that lead to it happening, well, that's another story, but it was because I let my moon free and was living by it's nature.

As time went by and things unfolded, I had the answers to many of the questions I had about the experience, all but one. Why that way? I had never asked for or was looking for that higher love so why was it given to me when I was so obviously unprepared for it, because it did throw me into a tailspin. And why was it with someone that it wasn't meant to last with? It nagged me for a long time but eventually, I just tucked it away with the rest of it.

Then about three years ago something happened that caused me to relive that time in my life. It was an odd experience, it was so real I was feeling all of the feelings I did back then but at the same time I was an observer and all of a sudden the answer washed over me, and it was quite simple and obvious but I hadn't been able to see the forest for the trees.

Before that experience, I had been working on myself a great deal. I'd done a lot of soul searching and really changed my life for the better on an inner and outer level but the one thing I always had a problem with was letting my walls down. I had been chipping away at them for years with some progress. It wasn't being with him that brought them down, it was losing him that did.

posted January 30, 2012 03:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sublime:
Lechien and Micsla,

Thank you for sharing your beautiful words and your personal experiences.

It is indeed painful to surrender because one wants so desparately to hold on tight to what we believe is our other half. But the key to true unconditional love is to love someone without the expectation that they will feel the same. To love someone so much that you want what is best for them even if that does not include you and causes you great pain.

Here is an analogy. If your hand is open you are able to give and receive. If your hand is closed you are not able to give or receive.

So, my prayer for us all is that we can continue to embrace "letting go" and know deep down inside that the rare connection we have made with beloved will always remain whether we are together on the mateiral plane or not.

In your moments of stillness, meditate, think of your beloved and you will find that they are right there with you.

Peace and Blessings to all!

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posted January 30, 2012 03:54 PM            

Glad you enjoyed it!

Peace and Blessings to all and keep up the great posts.

posted September 10, 2012 07:20 PM            

Two hearts that beat as one. Two heart flame's that become one.

posted October 29, 2012 07:07 AM            

I know I've found my Twin. I knew from the moment I met him. But we've reached the surrender/runner stage and he's definitely the runner...

It feels like the level of emotion/commitment that flows between us naturally is too much for him to handle..Almost like he's afraid of it. He's never been cut-off from me completely (but I've made sure there was distance for him to find himself without me interfering) because neither one of us has ever been able to be without the other for too long since the first time we laid eyes on each other. I sometimes feel like I met him too soon, like I was too young and I had NO IDEA how to control the feelings I have when I'm around him, and it overwhelmed him.

My brother is good friends with this man and he always makes comments about how much i "want" this man and how obvious it is that I'm "lusting after him." It's so much more than anything so basic as a human desire for sex and it offends me to the core of my being when it's suggested as such.. YES I'm attracted to this person physically, but it's the fact that when he hurts, (even when I haven't seen him in months) I feel it. Or that when I'm with him I feel WHOLE, but had never felt like a "half" until I'd met and then been without him. I'm the sunshine in his world and he's the moon and stars in my sky.

I really hope that having started so early in this lifetime that we reach the Radiance and Harmonizing stages.. I feel like I've missed him for so long

posted March 24, 2014 10:34 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by LeeLoo2014:
Wonderful thread!
However...I don't mean to be harsh, but it seems that many people mistake meeting their twinflame with unrequited love or being abandoned by a lover, finding a consolation for a relationship that doesn't work in the twinflame theory (not that is anything wrong with finding consolations). I don't think we physically meet our twin flame unless we have already reached the stage, the existence when we will actually BE with him/her. Until then, we only meet soulmates, who are just "parts" of our twin flame, leading us, through experience and lessons, through our personal transformation in love, to that final meeting. If you meet your twin flame in a physical form in this life, than you can be sure you WILL be together in this life, you can be sure this life is the final meeting. It will not be a life of unrequited love.

And about the Unconditional Love thing... yes, unconditional love is a wonderful part, and should be, of all loves. But obviously the meeting of the Twin Flames is the manifestation in the physical plane of the Great Romantic Dream, the manifestation of the ultimate romantic love, that's why we have the male/female principle and Yin and Yang everywhere in the universe. The universe is built on this romantic union principle.

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