posted January 16, 2012 03:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by MC2012:
you're only 27 cheer up girl, you will find someone i'm sure of it.

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Only!

All of my friends have been married already with children and everything.... I'm the only one single and hearting...

Don't get me wrong I'm SOOOO happy for them! I want my friends and family to be happy even if I never am in the love department. To be honest their joy is my joy.... but I just have to come to terms with my reality and know that romantic love just may not be for everyone... in specifics me

posted January 16, 2012 03:56 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by aquaguy91:
sigh * i know how you feel ,it seems that in every relationship theres always one person giving more,i am a guy and i have bent over a*s backwards to please the girls i been with,relationships are too complicated ,there are so few good people left in the world it makes it hard to find each other

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Yes, thanks for the empathy!!

I wish good people would be together! If I had a good man in my life (in addition to GOD of course) I would be such a happy woman.

I try to do things to be happy.... but I'm still miserable because in all my 27 years of life I have NEVER been loved by a man. Not even my own father loves me. "My father" asked my mother to abort me when I was in her womb..... I kind of wish she listened

posted January 16, 2012 04:14 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by amelia28:
You cant have sun conjunct moon and sun square moon at the at the same time in natal......so which one do you have?

Husband has sun square moon and best friend from childhood has sun conjunct moon and both are faithful married men.

If you havent found love is probably bc you are attracted to unavailable men bc you had an absent father. You however have the power to change this pattern in yourself but playing the role of the victim is not howthis pattern is going yo get changed. You been alone has nothing to do with god.You thinking it has to do with is how uou gibe your power away but you deciding to focus on yourself and just letting that person enter your life when is meant to be is healthy. Been obssesed about finding the one doednt help attract the right guy ever.

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Also I'm ONLY attracted to available men.... I never NEVER break up a happy home. If the guy is has someone else then I won't allow a relationship to progress between us. I also won't develop romantic feelings for him.

The men in my past were single before they met me and I was single before I met them so that is how we formed a relationship. But when they did me wrong I had to let them go.

posted January 16, 2012 04:34 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
In my natal chart I have Taurus Sun square Leo Moon within 1 degree

It was my ex and I who formed a composite chart where our Sun and moon is conjunct within 1 degree!

And the person that you mentioned was a man... I see men with this aspect go on to get married...

But women with Sun square moon in tight degrees squared is one that I haven't come across.....

But it's the craziest thing

My ex has his natal Cancer Sun in 13 degrees and his natal moon in 14 degrees Aries

I have my natal Taurus Sun in 18 degrees and my natal moon in 19 degrees Leo

In the composite chart between him and I

Our composite Sun in 15 degrees Gemini is conjunct to our 16 degree Gemini
Moon

So natally my ex and I both have Sun/Moon Square within 1 degree

But in our composite we have Sun/Moon conjunct within 1 degree

But I'm not going to obsess over him anymore because he probably could care less about me.

I just don't believe in love anymore

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i have the same thing! sun square moon, and my now ex has sun square moon too. in our composite we have sun cj moon exact.

posted January 16, 2012 04:36 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Delilah:
I say the same thing every other week. I tend to fall fast only to find out that the one I want doesn't want me, but somehow manage to hold onto hope once I've cried it all out. I've known loneliness more than I have love, but know that there's someone out there for me who knows exactly what I've been through.

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posted January 16, 2012 04:39 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:
Oh hun, you're still young! There are many wonderful things that are on the horizon, it's too early to just 'give up' now.

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I'm getting older everyday... and what do I have to show for it in the love department?

posted January 16, 2012 04:40 PM            

There are many beautiful gifts in life out there for you, waiting to be discovered.

I hope that as you continue on your journey that you will find these blessings, cherish them, and that this joy will be a window through which the love of God shines into your life.

posted January 16, 2012 04:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
I'm getting older everyday... and what do I have to show for it in the love department?

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posted January 16, 2012 04:46 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by woah cakes:
are you having your saturn return?

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Yes I'll have in on October 25th 2013 when I'm 29 years old.....

posted January 16, 2012 04:47 PM            

wouldn't u be venus dominant too?

posted January 16, 2012 04:48 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Delilah:
Also, you're only 27. Don't give up because you'll miss out on a lot. Have you tried meeting someone at church? You said that God is important to you, maybe try a Christian dating site. I know a lot of people who have met their spouses at church. I'm assuming you are Christian. Don't mean any offense if you're not.

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posted January 16, 2012 04:58 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mintgirl123:

Now that's the kind of attitude that's going to make your life a self fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps it's time to be more positive? You can meet men ANYWHERE. And some of them will be decent and good for you =).

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Agreed.

And honestly, even if this never happens, it doesn't mean that you have to be miserable.

The way that I personally see it is this: you can choose to love your life and live your life to the full beauty of its potential, single or married. Or, you can choose to spend it unhappy.

You have to find happiness and fulfillment from within yourself and inside your soul. Even if you do get married, if you do not love yourself and if you are not happy, marriage will not create that for you. Before you can love or be loved, you need to love yourself.

There are no guarantees in life, and even if you don't get married--it's entirely unpredictable and I'm not going to lie and pretend that it's otherwise--there is still so much beauty that graces you, walks with you unseen, so much wonder and delight that could be yours. You can't base your entire happiness on one thing in life that is completely unpredictable. Happiness has to come from loving who you are, accepting who you are, and making the most out of the blessings that you have been given. Lamenting the ones that you have not been given won't bring them to you.

Even if you do get married, marriage isn't an automatic happiness maker. You have to find the right person and the right relationship--a healthy one that would be beneficial, not an unhealthy one that would be harmful. And, too, even with the right person, maintaining a good relationship requires patience, love, effort, mutual respect, openness, honesty, and understanding: those things grow, evolve, develop, and mature over time. Marriage can add to one's happiness, but it can also take away from it too if it's to the wrong person. Marrying just to be married never ends well. You owe it to yourself to give yourself your entire lifetime--and not impose one deadline--to try to find a great match for you.

posted January 16, 2012 05:01 PM            

Yes... I feel your pain!!! OMG! I loved that man soooo much and he wasn't even that nice to me.... I have an overwelming amount of compassion for him... and he reminds me so much of myself.... him in a mascaline way and me in a feminine way...

But I totally understand where you are coming from

It's like you know they could treat you so much better but like a magnet we are drawn to them anyway. I think the women have it worse then the men....

I think us women are the ones who give of ourselves more and the guys hurt us and because we love them so much we still try to make it work... but they give us the cold shoulder.

That aspect in the composite chart is not to be taken lightly!

I know there are guys who are good too! And they go out of their way to help the woman they love, I just wish I had one of those men in my life! A GOOD MAN who loves me and goes out their way for me for a change.... it's always like I'm going out my way for the guys I like.... cooking, buying them things.... making them things.... etc... When will a man go out of his way for me?

I know alot of my friends have guys who will spoil them rotten... but they also had a father in their life that spoiled them rotten, so they have been used to such royal treatment since childhood

posted January 16, 2012 05:06 PM            

I also have a Sun/Moon square by the way!

Basically, whether it is due to conditioning or biology or something else - a great majority of women start of in life with a fairy tale version of the loving knight in shinning armor, who truly loves you, who rescues you and who is always there for you. I guess this is almost like the unconditional love one would expect from a parent.

I think the desire for this fairy tale 'knight' is stronger in girls who did not have their father there. My dad was kind of 'around' after the divorce, but he was never really involved. I saw him pretty rarely... so I guess I developed an idea that men are simply not that 'caring' and not that involved - whilst at the same time having a strong desire to meet a man who genuinely falls in love and who is there for me.

Maybe about four years ago, I came to the conclusion that - happiness - in a relationship is partially based on how the girl has dealt with the realization that men are *not* and never will be that knight in shinning armor.

And you might think that - "Well actually I just wanted Tom, Dick or Harry - to be a normal everyday guy who has feelings, who loves me, who expresses his affection and la-dee-daa"

But I really think that any expectation like this out of a man --- is already in "knight in shinning armor" category.
Because most men are simply not that emotionally expressive (at least not in the same way women are) and if you are someone who needs a lot of confirmation and affirmation in terms of *how* they feel about you --- you will probably be disappointed because this will not be forthcoming as an 'ongoing' thing.

The problem is that when your dad was not there - there are higher expectations.. because somewhere deep down (maybe subconsciously) you feel like the Universe 'owes you one'... like all the men of the world have a duty towards you or an unpaid debt that they should be 'paying'.

So other than the classic 'knight' expectations that so many girls have - you actually might take that one step further - and be a lot more relentless about it.... As though you are saying to men - "I am very disappointed in you. You have betrayed my trust... and YOU need to make up for that!" - when actually that's something that should be directed at your dad - and not at every man you meet.

I've definitely reached a point in my life where... whilst I do feel the same way as you, when you say this:

quote:

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I've never felt loved by a man. I've loved, and gave of myself wholeheartedly, but never felt loved back

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It doesn't actually upset me or bother me ^

I have very high standards of love I guess... I have a Venus/Pluto opposition in my chart (Taurus Venus & Scorpio Pluto)... and I know that most of the people around me (if not all) will not meet these love and affection standards..

As you said -- "wholeheartedly". I do love wholeheartedly.. But I know that maybe a great majority of the men out there will never love me in the same intense way that I could love them.
That doesn't mean I don't feel "loved" at all... I just don't feel "loved" in the same way that I give love.

I do still feel like many people care about me and love me in their own way. And this is completely OK with me now... because I don't expect anything else.
From their perspective - that's the way they can *give* love and that's the way they feel it and experience it - so I can't basically change them or 'mold' them into a more emotionally intense person than they are.
I am happy to accept them as they are.

So I guess my reaction to this is different to yours... because I didn't feel like throwing in the towel... I just felt like I can *accept* that this is the case.. and it is what it is!
I can accept that - I might never feel loved 'back' in the way that I would want to be loved and in the way that I offer love... but this is not a horrible thing. There has to be some understanding, I guess - that people will not usually be like you or *feel* like you - and this is NOT just men... It's also women.

I can accept people as they are and like them as they are.
I've completely abandoned my expectations regarding romantic love - but I didn't throw the baby out with the bath water.. because I think there are men out there who are worth my time - even if they are not like my *ideal* in terms of making me feel *loved*.. in my own "wholehearted - till death due us part" - plutonian definition of *love*.
I'm not sure if this makes sense.

I know I rambled a lot - but I hope it helps!
Maybe shunning relationships completely is not the answer for you.
But that doesn't mean you have to go back to this ex bf either... If you are very upset and disappointed with him - then don't look back! There are other fish in the sea (whether you believe it or not - there *really* are).
I am a little bit biased in saying this, I'll admit... because I noticed in the Soul Unions thread that he has Venus Retrograde - and I didn't have the best experiences with this placement. I wasn't sure about replying there because I didn't want to rain on your parade.
But basically they seem to have 'issues' involving romance and in my honest opinion I don't see them as capable of having a relationship. A lot of their behaviour seems false.

posted January 16, 2012 05:11 PM            

quote:

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I know alot of my friends have guys who will spoil them rotten..

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imo You are misinterpreting things from an outside perspective.
All of your friends who are married have *settled* with their husband's set of -virtues and vices- (because everybody has these)...
The 'happy' relationships are those where people can realistically love each other as *they* are and not have huge love-story (fairy tale) expectations.

The only difference between a girl who had a loving father and one who did not - is in *her* own mind set and her *own* expectations. A girl who had a loving father is not as *needy* and she does not expect as much... so she is happy with a normal *human* male as he is...

posted January 16, 2012 05:35 PM            

Husband has sun square moon and best friend from childhood has sun conjunct moon and both are faithful married men.

If you haven't found love probably bc you are attracted to unavailable men bc you had an absent father. You however have the power to change this pattern in yourself but playing the role of the victim is not how this pattern is going to get changed. You been alone has nothing to do with god.You thinking it has to do with is how you give your power away but you deciding to focus on yourself and just letting that person enter your life when is meant to be is healthy. Been obsessed about finding the one doesn't help attract the right guy ever.

quote:

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Originally posted by IamLoved:
Also I'm ONLY attracted to available men.... I never NEVER break up a happy home. If the guy is has someone else then I won't allow a relationship to progress between us. I also won't develop romantic feelings for him.

The men in my past were single before they met me and I was single before I met them so that is how we formed a relationship. But when they did me wrong I had to let them go.

And i won't be obsessing anymore... in fact I just don't care I'll just continue living this life ....

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posted January 16, 2012 05:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by IamLoved:
In my natal chart I have Taurus Sun square Leo Moon within 1 degree

It was my ex and I who formed a composite chart where our Sun and moon is conjunct within 1 degree!

And the person that you mentioned was a man... I see men with this aspect go on to get married...

But women with Sun square moon in tight degrees squared is one that I haven't come across.....

But it's the craziest thing

My ex has his natal Cancer Sun in 13 degrees and his natal moon in 14 degrees Aries

I have my natal Taurus Sun in 18 degrees and my natal moon in 19 degrees Leo

In the composite chart between him and I

Our composite Sun in 15 degrees Gemini is conjunct to our 16 degree Gemini
Moon

So natally my ex and I both have Sun/Moon Square within 1 degree

But in our composite we have Sun/Moon conjunct within 1 degree

But I'm not going to obsess over him anymore because he probably could care less about me.

I just don't believe in love anymore

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Loook you have a lot to give and sound like a great catch! Plsss don't ever give up on love....You are only 28 years old! Its ideal I feel to get married in the 30s...You will find a good guy. Just be happy single and he will show up one day out of the blue and it might happen in your 30s but I bet when it does happen what you guys have will be great. I started earlier in the game of love but is not the ones that start early necessarily that get the best bargain!