posted March 17, 2012 06:25 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Natsukashii:
RegardesPluto

"Some people might not find their soulmate because (a) they might not actually have one; (b) they might not put themselves out there enough; (c) it might happen later in life; (d) something happens to their soulmate; or (e) a host of other reasons.

Whatever the reason is, though, I'd encourage single people not to beat themselves up, not to see themselves as undesirable or failures, and to love themselves. WE have to create our OWN happiness. All of the relationships in the world can't do that. It's an undue burden to others to make them responsible for how WE feel. Our lives are in our own hands, and it's up to us to make them beautiful and worthwhile, not other people."

I love what you have said here. I dont love myself, never really have bit I am trying to change that. I'm "straight" but put up barriers because of sexual abuse in childhood.

I've begun to pray that if my soulmate isnt out there that my desire for one be taken away. Something happened within me when you said "something happens to their soulmate". I feel that mine is no longer in this world. I only wish the yearning would die too

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Wow...

I'm really sorry for all that you went through, and I hope that, single or not, you end up on the path that is right for you, that makes you feel whole, and that is most fulfilling.

Honestly, I don't know if your wish for a soulmate will go away or not. It could also come and go, too. But, whatever happens, just wanted to wish you the best.

I also hope that you'll be able to see your own beauty and self-worth, and that you'll be able to recognize what's good and right within yourself. You owe yourself that gift.

posted March 23, 2012 01:00 PM            

Again you touch me to my core. Words fail me now so all I will say to you is

posted March 24, 2012 07:18 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Natsukashii:
RegardesPluto

Again you touch me to my core. Words fail me now so all I will say to you is

Thanks and

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aww thanks; glad that I could be helpful

posted April 22, 2012 04:29 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Natsukashii:
teasel I'm where you are at the moment. I'm concerned that the years are passing me by and it hurts to see the love and companionship that I yearn for go so easily to those that dont appreciate it

And I'm not a bad person...just someone who seems to get screwed over in every romantic relationship I ever had. They never seem to value me as a person and I have never knowingly or intentionally hurt them

I guess as Anon says we just need to be patient. Who knows why we wait or have to when this world and the word of God promise us abundance...Simply ask and believe they say and you will receive. I used to believe...and hope that I still can

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*sigh*

I used to believe in twin flames. A lot. I was certain I met mine, even, went to hell and back to get him (which should have been a hint to me that he wasn't but I was blind at the time). 6 months ago was very tempted by suicide thinking I have lost the love of my life...

Point is... we invest too much in relationships with others and not enough in the relationship with the self. We hold very high expectations and demands for our relationships and struggle to make them work even if they are not supposed to.

I do not know why some don't meet their special ones. I read some place that people with Neptune in the 12th house have their Twin in the spiritual plane, not here on earth, and they are guiding them. I do not know why some people have it so easy at starting a family and others struggle so much with it...

What I do know is what I have learned myself from my experiences and my searches for that special one. I no longer believe in those twin flames. I believe in something like Regardes described, I want a real, flawed man to walk the path of life with, even if he may or may not be my twin flame. After all, that's just terminology. What is important is what makes you happy, what you can live with. I went through some tough times in the past year or so, all because I was stubbornly trying to find "my missing person". I thought the same as you, Natsu, that time is running out, I am not getting any younger etc... I "woke up" after my last relationship, whose failure filled me with a lot of anger and resentment and feeling "undeserving" of love and pretty miserable to sum it up. And then I realized I put so much weight on this whole relationship thing, like my life depended on it. I was so quick to make them a priority, to do everything in my power to make it work that I forgot to actually enjoy the relationship, the wonderful phase of getting to know another person, soulmate or not. There was just too much pressure.

Yes, I too believe you need to complete your inner work first. Many people are just not ready to welcome such a powerful experience into their lives.

posted April 22, 2012 08:36 PM            

I observe, no matter how broken my heart is by anyone, when I start falling in love again, I start believeing that maybe, i was mistaken last time, n I'm happy again, for the moment.

posted April 23, 2012 01:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Hera:
*sigh*

I used to believe in twin flames. A lot. I was certain I met mine, even, went to hell and back to get him (which should have been a hint to me that he wasn't but I was blind at the time). 6 months ago was very tempted by suicide thinking I have lost the love of my life...

Point is... we invest too much in relationships with others and not enough in the relationship with the self. We hold very high expectations and demands for our relationships and struggle to make them work even if they are not supposed to.

I do not know why some don't meet their special ones. I read some place that people with Neptune in the 12th house have their Twin in the spiritual plane, not here on earth, and they are guiding them. I do not know why some people have it so easy at starting a family and others struggle so much with it...

What I do know is what I have learned myself from my experiences and my searches for that special one. I no longer believe in those twin flames. I believe in something like Regardes described, I want a real, flawed man to walk the path of life with, even if he may or may not be my twin flame. After all, that's just terminology. What is important is what makes you happy, what you can live with. I went through some tough times in the past year or so, all because I was stubbornly trying to find "my missing person". I thought the same as you, Natsu, that time is running out, I am not getting any younger etc... I "woke up" after my last relationship, whose failure filled me with a lot of anger and resentment and feeling "undeserving" of love and pretty miserable to sum it up. And then I realized I put so much weight on this whole relationship thing, like my life depended on it. I was so quick to make them a priority, to do everything in my power to make it work that I forgot to actually enjoy the relationship, the wonderful phase of getting to know another person, soulmate or not. There was just too much pressure.

Yes, I too believe you need to complete your inner work first. Many people are just not ready to welcome such a powerful experience into their lives.

As for myself, though I doubt I will ever finish my inner work, I feel like I have made some important progress in the last few years. Perhaps not enough to have my Twin Flame bursting on my door step, but I believe I am becoming ready for motherhood. Still not completely there yet, but it won't be too long, I already felt my baby's spirit close by.

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Hera thank you for these great insights...I thought I had met mine too but the thing is that we never appear to be on the same page at the same time. And he has hurt me more emotionally than any other man I have had a realtionship with. I know I hurt him too. And now he is back in a way...I have read the horarys you have done here Hera and hope that you could have a look here http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum11/HTML/003208.html
and advise me.

Both me and this man are very far from perfect but I still feel intensely connected to him. I let go of the idea that he was my soulmate/twin flame. I have let go of him many many times yet each time it has been him who has renewed communication. He mailed me recently after a year saying if I wanted to talk he would come over. (This was 5 months after our last comms. The first time we broke comms it was for 18 months. then it was for a year and then again for 5 months. And he always seems to come back everytime I reach this level of beginning to love myself and move on.

The thing is he has no way of knowing where I am emotionally at these times.

I wish I knew what there truly is between us. No one affects me like he does. I thought he was the one but have reconciled myself to the fact that he simply did not feel the same way about me.

This connection whatever it may be does not seem to die a natural death. He always keeps the door that I have tried to shut so many times, slightly open. Why does the Universe keep bringin him back when it showed me so explicitly that it would never work between us? Why wont it end?

posted April 23, 2012 01:12 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
To me, soul mate/ twin flames is a hope. There is no way of verification except soul's knowing.

I observe, no matter how broken my heart is by anyone, when I start falling in love again, I start believeing that maybe, i was mistaken last time, n I'm happy again, for the moment.

Time heals. Gradually, that person who brok my heart no longer can do so without my permission..

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posted April 23, 2012 03:05 AM            

The person can end up feeling like they are the ones resposible for the collapse of the relationship, or worse yet, that a cruel fate is in control over their happiness and they are doomed in love forever, or its not "their lifetime" for soul reuniting.

The tremendous hurt you feel after a breakup, can make you feel like this particular relationship WAS the ONE, because it hurt so much, but its probably just because you put so much emphasis on it BEING the one, that makes you feel this way.The twin flame belief can make you over glamorize a bad relationship that you should be moving on from, instead of lementing on.

Try not put all of your eggs in one basket,take the pressure off of your shoulders to find "the one".The belief of it may work for some, but finding a mate that respects you and treats you right is the most important thing, weather they are your twin or not.I know it gets lonely, but evenutally if you put yourself in the right situations, and start moving forward to a happy life on your own, I am sure you will meet someone special.

posted April 23, 2012 04:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Natsukashii:
Hera thank you for these great insights...I thought I had met mine too but the thing is that we never appear to be on the same page at the same time. And he has hurt me more emotionally than any other man I have had a realtionship with. I know I hurt him too. And now he is back in a way...I have read the horarys you have done here Hera and hope that you could have a look here http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum11/HTML/003208.html
and advise me.

Both me and this man are very far from perfect but I still feel intensely connected to him. I let go of the idea that he was my soulmate/twin flame. I have let go of him many many times yet each time it has been him who has renewed communication. He mailed me recently after a year saying if I wanted to talk he would come over. (This was 5 months after our last comms. The first time we broke comms it was for 18 months. then it was for a year and then again for 5 months. And he always seems to come back everytime I reach this level of beginning to love myself and move on.

The thing is he has no way of knowing where I am emotionally at these times.

I wish I knew what there truly is between us. No one affects me like he does. I thought he was the one but have reconciled myself to the fact that he simply did not feel the same way about me.

This connection whatever it may be does not seem to die a natural death. He always keeps the door that I have tried to shut so many times, slightly open. Why does the Universe keep bringin him back when it showed me so explicitly that it would never work between us? Why wont it end?

---

Natsu, I understand. Your story reminds me of the one I thought was my flame. It was like that with him and with other men, as well. When I let go of them internally and went on with my life, they came back and fell for me like flies. This doesn't mean you should go back, on the contrary, it means you did something right. lol. Oh, I fell for that one myself over and over again, let them in again, only to have them running away again. It seemed like I will never learn this. lol
But the thing is... you have to think this from their point of view. Put yourself in their shoes. If a partner would sacrifice everything for you, drop everything they do/are just to be with you, abandon sometimes the things they stand for to justify being with you - would you still want them, respect them even?... I wouldn't. Shocking to say this, but no, I wouldn't give them the time of day. That's probably how they feel about me too. They smelled the desperation and ran for their lives. While I spent 29 years not understanding why this is so, thinking oh poor me, I am so alone in this world, nobody wants me etc etc... now I finally get it. It is only when you are satisfied within you that you attract another, when you have learned to respect, appreciate and love yourself enough to not compromise yourself and not allow people (MEN!) to treat you less than you deserve. This disappearing act is less than you deserve, Natsu. He comes back because self-confidence is sexy, neediness hardly so! It is an irony of life that we are given things when we act like we don't actually need them.

You don't need my advice on the horary, you already know what to do, you just want me to say it out loud for you, but empower yourself and stand for what you already know to be true in your heart without second-guessing it.

posted April 23, 2012 04:42 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by starzy54:
In some situations hearing about twin flames and soul mates can be very hurtful to those who are in a bind, or have been through the hoops in love. I have witnessed some people and clients (as i do Tarot readings professionally) fall prey to a sense of over glamorization of the twin flames belief. I think its a wonderful idea, and quite a romanticized concept from afar, but it can get quite ugly when you put all your hope/eggs into one basket, hoping for this relationship you are in to flourish because you feel a "connection", and than it goes downhill, or your mate runs away, disapears etc, all sorts of things can go wrong.

The person can end up feeling like they are the ones resposible for the collapse of the relationship, or worse yet, that a cruel fate is in control over their happiness and they are doomed in love forever, or its not "their lifetime" for soul reuniting.

The tremendous hurt you feel after a breakup, can make you feel like this particular relationship WAS the ONE, because it hurt so much, but its probably just because you put so much emphasis on it BEING the one, that makes you feel this way.The twin flame belief can make you over glamorize a bad relationship that you should be moving on from, instead of lementing on.

Try not put all of your eggs in one basket,take the pressure off of your shoulders to find "the one".The belief of it may work for some, but finding a mate that respects you and treats you right is the most important thing, weather they are your twin or not.I know it gets lonely, but evenutally if you put yourself in the right situations, and start moving forward to a happy life on your own, I am sure you will meet someone special.

I won't say I met my twinflame, because, who knows what the future holds, but when i gave up on finding him, he was there. Just my two cents.

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posted April 23, 2012 09:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Natsukashii:
Yes lilithpluto..but sometimes you meet the one person that you can never forget no matter how hard you try. I find that the heart is a thing that keeps a special place for everyone that we love...that we love each person in it differently and that no-one can take the place of another in it if the love is true. Love should be eternal right? I have had two previous realtionships and got over them after a while. It is just this one that continues...

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Yeah, ideally so...

Nobody is indispensable... sadly.

posted April 23, 2012 09:38 AM            

This thread was just lying there until you picked it up....Fate or Chance? I dont know. I just know that your advice has come at a time I need some most and I am so grateful

I will leave things as they are right now...perhaps he will contact me, perhaps he gets the message and we will never meet again...but yes...I MUST love myself. It is a message I get over and over again. And hopefully some day that imperfect man who is perfect for me will walk into my life

Thanks for being my today,

Hugs,
N

posted May 22, 2012 06:59 PM            

I strongly agree with Hera about loving ourselves. I am one of those girls too who always wanted a relationship sooo badly, but in the mean time i've never wanted to learn to love and appreciate myself. Which was a big mistake, but at least after some very painful love experiences, i started to work on myself and appreciate myself much more. There is still a long way to go, but things have definetely changed. I even reached the point when i thought, i will live a happy life even if i will never find a partner.

Then out of nowhere i've met someone. In the most unexpected way. We are still at the beginning, but its been awesome so far. He is the first guy who ever asked me to be his girlfriend. And he treats me with love and respect.

So, i just wanted to say, that things can change, but first of all we need to change inside. Many times some kind of sacrifice is needed too for something greater to happen. But there will be a reward for sure. The answers are always lie within us

posted May 27, 2012 09:40 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by athenegoddess:
I feel one only finds their twin flame when they have completed the inner work. once you have united your heart and mind you naturally draw your other half to you to mirror the spiritual completion in this physical reality we live in.

So only really old souls find their twin flames. I feel I have found mine this lifetime.

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Kind of yes, kind of no. You DO have to be a much older soul - potentially even preparing to ascend, or do whatever it truly is we do when we've completed our work 'here'. But you do NOT have to be 'done' with your own inner work to MEET them.

I DO feel, however, that it may take several years, or even decades, to complete the work you must do together, or even separately. And THAT may be what inevitably keeps you apart for a longer time than one would expect, despite the intense draw.

-A.