posted June 03, 2012 05:47 PM            

Anyway, the flip side of that is that when things took a turn for the worse, all of the things I've read about Cancer men were true as well. Suddenly after 2 months he said he needed some space. Fine, I was hurt but I gave it to him. He comes back in 2 weeks saying he got scared but realized he wanted to marry me, what is my ring size and what style do I want blah blah blah.

Well the ring never did materialize because that started a pattern of getting close and then distancing that continues to this day. (It's been almost 6 months.) Last month I told him I needed to date other people and he got so upset that I got a late-night phone call saying I don't care about him, to tell him if there was another guy because then he'd "try to get over me." I said the problem was that I couldn't wait around for him while he makes up his mind whether he wants to be with me or not. He said that I knew he was the right guy for me (uggh he's right), what would it take to get me off the market and that he'd dealt with his issues of feeling like I'd reject him. (He got dumped by his last gf.)

Well HE GOT TO ME. So after that I finally decide I'll regret it if I don't tell him I love him back (he'd been saying it for a while but I didn't reciprocate). It was a magical night, but right before Venus retrograde so I should have known it would blow up in my face. Now things are worse than ever... like I'm in some limbo period where he's calling intermittently but not following through on dates let alone all the grand plans he talked about with respect to our future. Through it all I've been way too nice and I feel like he's taken me for granted.

I am sooooo angry and tempted to cut him off completely but I've read not to make any decisions either way during Venus Retrograde and just ride it out until end of June. Meanwhile I've been completely depressed over this man... but part of me isn't ready to let go either. I accepted that he wasn't ready to commit and I thought I would be fine leaving the door open while dating other people, but my heart is with him. No other guys stand a chance.

posted June 05, 2012 04:26 PM            

I've just let him go and not said anything but it hurts me and I get confused... Doesn't it make him take me even MORE for granted that I put up with it?

Or is that not how Cancers think? I know they are extremely sensitive to rejection and need to trust that the other person is going to be there for them... but I don't want to be a doormat either.

I was reading Bob Marks astrology site and it said that Cancers always want what they can't have.

I was wondering do I need to put fear into this guy that I'm done with the relationship permanently. Or is that too much of a high risk strategy. I still am not ready to lose him... (Even though I guess I don't really "have" him either)

Ugh, this is so hard!!!

posted June 06, 2012 03:26 PM            

Let's see --
I'm Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon and Capricorn Ascendant

He's Libra Sun, Taurus Moon and Cancer Ascendant

We have Composite Aries Ascendant

posted June 06, 2012 05:53 PM            

Your 3rd post on Cancer men and how to answer if they ask you if you love them is amazing.

It's so funny, you made my day!

posted June 07, 2012 06:56 PM            

Fairy22, I actually hate game playing but it's tempting with Cancer. With mine it was only when I told him I was going to date other people and signed up for Match.com that he got completely scared of losing me and that's when I got the late night phone call where he blurted out all this crazy stuff about how he felt about me.

But my problem is I always give in, so he's back to thinking I'm waiting around for him again. (Which I guess I am.)

It's a delicate balance between not hurting their feelings and making them scared to lose us!

posted June 07, 2012 07:08 PM            

Call him, bug him, talk to him, express your feelings,tell him what you need...

posted June 07, 2012 07:14 PM            

That's what makes this so frustrating and depressing. He tells me he doesn't think I care about him, that he's scared, that I'm his soulmate, blah blah blah... I reassure him that I love him and want to be with him and it's STILL not enough.

posted June 07, 2012 07:17 PM            

I do not want to hurt you but from what I know about men, if he is the typical male has lots of male friends, which means he can go out and have fun. Plus being a Cancer, from my experience 3 weeks is long for a man to not have sex. If he is not seeing you he is getting it from some other girl.

What do you think?

posted June 07, 2012 07:21 PM            

________________________________________

I totally agree with you, I am in almost exactly the same situation as you. And I am reacting exactly as you are! I'm so sad!

posted June 07, 2012 08:02 PM            

I only want him back if he decides on his own that he can't live without me. I don't want him if it's only about the sex.

Plus if I re-read what I posted about Cancers wanting what they can't have... he'll probably be back at some point.

posted June 09, 2012 12:23 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by carlie:
Plus if I re-read what I posted about Cancers wanting what they can't have... he'll probably be back at some point.

---

Carlie,

It's funny and sad at the same time, what you posted about Cancer me...The whole never going for things they want with sustained directness and still needing the unattainable...it can be their road block, or a jumping off point on their road to victory...all depends on the makeup of the man, and whether he sees himself as worthy of the good things in life, which include you.

posted June 09, 2012 03:02 PM            

___________________________________________

I like that

posted June 09, 2012 03:03 PM            

It should

posted June 09, 2012 03:13 PM            

I'm losing my damn mind!
___________________________

You said it girl!
These men need to take some lessons from the bumble bee!

Five years can you still get back at it or are you too mad?

posted June 16, 2012 02:03 PM              

quote:

---

Originally posted by carlie:
By the way this is what Bob Marks says on his site. What do you guys think?

Cancer wants what it can’t have. As soon as it gets something, it forgets about it. A friend of mine told me that she used to go out with a Cancer man. “He kept asking me if I loved him, but I don’t like to rush into things”, she said. “When I finally told him I loved him, he left suddenly and I never saw him again!”.
The way around disasters like this is to keep the game going. Keep them guessing forever. A client told me that her Cancer Sun-Sign boyfriend had canceled several dates recently. “He says he had a hard day at work and he’s too tired to come over, and he’s doing it more and more”, she complained. I told her what to do. The next day, she called me to say that it worked. “The phone rang at 9 P.M. and I didn’t answer it”, she said. “Did it ring at Exactly 9 P. M.” I asked. “Yes”. Good. It was him. “Then it rang at 9:30, and I still didn’t answer it”. Exactly at 9:30? Yes. So predictable. “Then it rang at 10 P.M., I picked it up and said “Hello”. What did he say? “He said “where were you?’ No hello. Just ‘Where were you?’” He was over there in another half hour and spent the night. Like I say, Cancer can’t stand to loose anything.
Never, ever, give a Cancer a straight compliment. If you tell them that they look good, they will think that something is wrong, or that you’re trying to set them up for something. You have to tell them that they are looking “less bad today” and then ask them if they are trying to break a lifetime trend. Watch them smile.
Cancer men are known for needling the women in their lives until they blow up. They want to “get mommy mad”. If you are involved with one, just be a “tough moma” who’s trying to help them get their life in order. Correct them constantly. If they ask you if you love them, use one of the following lines:
(1) “I’ll think about it”. If they press you for an answer, say “For goodness sake, you know how busy I am. I’m taking time out of my busy schedule to think about whether I love you or not. I think that says something. But some people are just never satisfied!”
(2) Say “Of course I do, uh..uhh...” and pretend that you forgot their name. Then say “Well what’s in a name anyway. Whatever your name is, I love you.”
(3) Tell them flat out that you have “Better taste than that”.
(4) If you want to tell them that you love them, shake your head, sigh, and say “I don’t know why I put up with you”.
On the positive side, (yes, there is a positive side) the house with the sign of Cancer on the cusp (beginning) shows one of the places in or lives where we can be loving and nurturing, protecting the helpless (including animals). On the negative side, it can show where we can be moody and irrationally greedy. This is the area of our lives where, if we can’t get our way, we tend to retreat into a fantasy world where things are just the way we want them to be.

---

posted June 20, 2012 02:49 PM            

I'm not interested in random sex and my ex husband was such a turn off. Great in bed,
but I need more. I'll probably stay like this for some time (lol). I do get VERY horny but it passes. I'm completely a b*tch at this point but I am so deathly afraid of catching something its RIDICULOUS! So celibacy it is!!! lol...but if/when I do find the guy to break loose with....he will be required to sign a waiver...that's all I'm saying! lol
________________________________________

I totally agree with you

posted July 02, 2012 09:14 PM            

I am doing ok... very glad the worst of Venus retrograde is over although I don't feel any sudden change. I guess that's because we're still in the shadow period for another month?

Anyway my Cancer guy started blowing up my phone with texts again a couple weeks ago (a week before Venus retrograde finished) and so that's been going on now ever since. He's called a couple of times too but we haven't spoken yet.

At this point I think he's feeling things out to see if a) I'm mad at him and b) if I'll chase him like he's used to. The texts are all pretty lame things like "Hey what's up" and stuff like that. Oh and he's asked if he can come over and "cuddle" the last two Fridays in a row. Um NO. I just ignored.

The other messages I have responded to but I refuse to be the leader, so we're just going in circles. Buddy - I can play this game as long as I need to!!! It's really hard to not give in because I'm still sad and depressed over the mess he's made of our "relationship" but at this point I feel I have no choice but to protect myself. I need a man not a boy, and if he wants me he's going to have to man up and come and get me!!!