posted August 24, 2012 09:02 PM            

Friends. We do what friends do (minus the shag lol). Family outings. Christmas presents. Dinners. Like.i said, one of them is the Godmother of my two sons who ride her horses.

I'm friends with my wife's ex-es too. One took us sailing on his boat. Another went driving with me.

The difference between you and I is that you married your ex, lived with them, had children, they ****** you off, you guys fought, fell out of love romantically, then split.

On the other hand, I had inclinations of marrying anyone of these ex-es, but circumstances did not allow. One was too Jewish. Another too Catholic. One too Black. Yet another too wealthy. One moved away to Europe and then came back. Yes, all had an obligation to please their parents. None of us ever fell out of love. Just that we couldn't get married, and so it never happened. So I'm just friends with them. Do I love them? In a different way, yeah. Their kids too. My kids play with their kids. I have lunch with their husbands.

posted August 24, 2012 09:52 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by cappy1277:
no kidding lava flower...lol. the daily contact is what I can surmise. We got into a little tiff because he said he had called me like 4 times and I never answered my phone while I said I never received a call at all. He proceeds to show me his call log and I see the numbers of where he was calling them (or calling them back, who knows?). Every time I am over, they are calling but he won't answer and I am over at least twice a week. We had this argument about him talking to his exes before and it ended up him telling me that I was jealous and insecure while I said that it was downright disrespectful. I am going to fall back on him. I don't know how much clearer I need to be about the situation. We have been together for 2 and half years. Clearly their is no respect for my feelings and he is going to do what he wants to do so I am going to take this chance just to see this as a bigger sign than what it may be and fall back off of him. He swears that their is nothing going on but the constant contact is wearing on my nerves. I don't keep in contact with any of my exes including my kids' father (their at an age where they don't need me to keep in contact with them) and I would never disrespect our relationship in that way. guess he doesn't feel the same way

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I'd say that the pont of the argument is of no matter. You could tell him you don't like rainbow furniture and he should understand that. I mean, at the end of the day, what is more important the rainbow furniture or you being happy with him?

Sometimes we hang around old flames because we have this hope? That maybe we could get back together or make them come crying home.
Other times it's to make the new partner jealous. Or jsut to prevent from being lonely. Maybe he has been talking to them since breaking up and it's hard to jsut cut them off for you. I see a problem there if that's something you dislike.

I mean, if your guy would be your potential husband, I would think you would mean more to him then random exes. But if they mean as much to him....it's a sticky situation. He just might be too stubborn to sacrifice them for you.

posted August 25, 2012 03:04 AM            

I haven't spoken to him in 2 days and he doesn't know what I am thinking because I feel like I am beating a dead horse with the issue. I already expressed my feelings about it, what more do I need to say? He knows how i feel.

posted August 25, 2012 08:38 PM            

i am heavily plutonian too and i think for me to be over enough to be friends with someone i am probably at the point of not caring..