posted November 19, 2013 05:26 AM            

It's okay to be upset, hurt, angry, confused etc. Take some time to yourself, try and get yourself in the frame of mind to write a letter.

Write the first letter to the person you are no longer with, say everything you feel, and why, whether it is angry, frustrated, hurt, or loving. Get it out and onto the page.

Write the second letter, about events in the relationship, things they said to you, did to you, things you said to them, did to them.

If you want, try not to put names in. Take a couple of days, have a good cry. Come back and read the letters. Particularly the 2nd one.

After stepping back from the last relationship I was in. I realised I was as self sacrificing as they come. I probably should have stood up for myself. No I should have stood up for myself, and amongst all the beautiful things I have taken from that relationship, there are things I will not put up with again. Even if that means the end of a future relationship. Maybe that is cynical, maybe it's not a good way to look at it, but I deserve better treatment, and I won't stand for less.

I remember reading that letter, and thinking. This person is getting treated so badly, how can they not see it? Whereas, when I was in the relationship, I obviously did not see it the same way.

When you are ready, write a 3rd letter. Keep it simple.

"I forgive myself. When you read this, and you finally believe this. You may burn this letter."

Grief affects everyone differently, and it is never easy to deal with.