Author
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Topic: How to recover after a break up?
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Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1076 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 28, 2013 02:49 PM
Not quite the topic for 'Soul unions" perhaps...How can one lessen grief and hasten a return to sanity. We could by using self-healing techniques. Does anyone know of a meditation or visualisation to help de-link with someone? Basically, a meditation to do the same job as EFT. Has anyone tried any? I imagine cutting cords would be involved as well as forgiveness. IP: Logged |
hippichick Knowflake Posts: 3389 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted August 28, 2013 04:42 PM
hi!In my opinion, you can try all kind of things, cord cuttings, unbinding spells, etc....visualisations, the whole shebang. But until one is really ready to let go, REALLY READY I would just leave well enough alone. I see relationships, when two souls and humans come together, they create a third entity...the "relationship." When it is time for the relationship to die, just like all other energy entities, it takes time and love and the grief process. I have make the mistake, MANY times in my old years to try to rush things.... It just doesnt work until you are ready. Having said that, there is nothing wrong with loving yourself at this time...this is MUCH needed...take care of your SELF, dont be pressured by pop-cultue to go out with friends, etc, just take care of yourself and your heart and let your intuition/higher self guide you. blessings and lots of love teri~ )~( IP: Logged |
HRH-FishAreFish Knowflake Posts: 367 From: Twin Cities, Land of 10,000 Seas Registered: May 2013
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posted August 28, 2013 06:50 PM
If I'm not on The Break-up Diet, sometimes I find comfort meditating upon Ben & Jerry's strong shoulders... Maybe get a couple extra pints and invite some good girlfriends over for an old-fashioned pity party! Stephanie IP: Logged |
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 6438 From: Registered: Mar 2010
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posted August 28, 2013 07:21 PM
quote: Originally posted by Astro keen: Not quite the topic for 'Soul unions" perhaps...How can one lessen grief and hasten a return to sanity. We could by using self-healing techniques. Does anyone know of a meditation or visualisation to help de-link with someone? Basically, a meditation to do the same job as EFT. Has anyone tried any? I imagine cutting cords would be involved as well as forgiveness.
I know we discussed this in the asteroid forum.. The break up, was the reason I started eft, mediating and reiki... I have found it such a relief... I love reiki so much,I took the class and can now give reiki to myself and others. During my reiki attunment, I had my cords cut, that no longer serve to my "greater good " Unfornately 3 days later, he allied me wanting to make up.. We are on speaking terms again, but not back together.. My guess is there is still some left over purpose to full fill, which is part of my greater good.. Shrug.. I don't feel as obsessed or crazy.. Lol I give myself reiki every night at bed time... Mediating is hard for me.. It's hard for me to sit there for long periods of time. The reik with mediation music, helps me.. Keep trying and go with what ever works for you. But no matter do positive things for yourself... Cheers!!!!!! IP: Logged |
Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1076 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 29, 2013 05:27 AM
Thanks all. The thing is that I had such a horrible time when my marriage fell apart years ago, despite all efforts not to succumb, and it took years to heal. I am told by psychics that I still bear wounds!! So, I'm not going to leave it entirely to the time factor. The break in this relationship hasn't quite happened yet (or so I hope!) but I wish to begin the work to de-link anyway. It is impending so to speak and is making me very nervous. I have resolved not to fall hard on this occassion and undergo that degree of misery, alternating between feeling hollow and hideously in pain. Any sort of self-healing should strengthen one and make one less dependent emotionally, come what may. @ Lioness, I am training as a healer with the NFSH (National Federation of Spritual Healers), a well known and well regarded organisation in the UK. I've been meaning to check out Reiki too. It would help to have more strings to one's bow and see what it has to offer. Reading about your experience has been a timely reminder. Thanks. IP: Logged |
Hera Moderator Posts: 8250 From: Aries fantasy land ^_^ Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 29, 2013 09:01 AM
Actually, someone, a member here, helped me about 2 years ago, when I was trying to get over THE biggest love of my life, after having already attempted suicide during the break-up. I got over him incredibly fast and despite the fact that he returned to me, I didn't fall pray to it (I was tempted the first time but after that, it was DONE). I am not going to say her nickname but she has a habit of popping up whenever I think about her (note to self: you have some emails to write!!). I don't know exactly what she did, she sent me a link at some point but it was way over my comprehension at the time. Basically, she sent healing energy to me and also advised me to meditate on my heart chakra, visualize it healing and its green light shining more and more powerfully, embracing my whole body. I am not very into meditation, I am not consistent because I'm an Aries and can't hold still for too long lmao. But it really, really worked!! I was seriously very smitten with this dude, I bought all his lies and all his deception (I think most of his feelings for me were true, though, but he lied about a lot of stuff). When we got into contact again I perceived him through sober lenses. His "magic spell" on me was gone. I couldn't believe how fast and easy I got over the whole thing. IP: Logged |
Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1076 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
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posted August 29, 2013 09:38 AM
Thanks Hera. This is very encouraging. If she sent you a link or instructions on this site, then please post here. Healing the heart chakra makes sense. IP: Logged |
Hera Moderator Posts: 8250 From: Aries fantasy land ^_^ Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 29, 2013 09:40 AM
No, it was through emails. I will try to look for the info. IP: Logged |
ScorpionAz Knowflake Posts: 63 From: Mesa, AZ Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 01, 2013 06:16 AM
Ben & Jerrys .... and a whole lot of self indulgement. Take care of yourself. Take more naps. Go shopping. Try something new. Keep yourself busy. Delete everything and anything that remind you of him, including pictures. If necessary, block him. If you're angry about the break up, write a letter to pour out your feelings, then delete it. I know that writing helps me. Have yourself a few good cries. Get it all out. I don't know anything about meditation but these old fashioned methods, along with TIME, will help you move on. Whatever you do, don't hop into dating again. IP: Logged |
ScorpionAz Knowflake Posts: 63 From: Mesa, AZ Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 01, 2013 06:17 AM
Ben & Jerrys .... and a whole lot of self indulgement. Take care of yourself. Take more naps. Go shopping. Get a pedicure. Try something new. Keep yourself busy. Delete everything and anything that remind you of him, including pictures. If necessary, block him. If you're angry about the break up, write a letter to pour out your feelings, then delete it. I know that writing helps me. Have yourself a few good cries. Get it all out. I don't know anything about meditation but these old fashioned methods, along with TIME, will help you move on. Whatever you do, don't hop into dating again. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 5874 From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street.. Registered: May 2009
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posted September 02, 2013 02:37 AM
I stumbled across this one a little bit ago.. maybe it will soothe you too, for awhile. http://tinybuddha.com/blog/be-gentle-with-yourself-when-dealing-with-heartbreak/ IP: Logged |
Astro keen Knowflake Posts: 1076 From: UK Registered: Nov 2012
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posted September 02, 2013 10:58 AM
Ben and Jerry's definelty plays a key role in cheering up.Gypseewind, that link is great. Lovely advice. IP: Logged |
CatMote Knowflake Posts: 519 From: Fighting Neptune for his trident Registered: Apr 2013
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posted September 02, 2013 11:04 AM
dont forget to forgive yourself. ------------------ Sun Aries Moon Pisces Mars Pisces Venus Pisces Mercury Aries Jupiter in Virgo Saturn in Aquarius Pluto in Scorpio Neptune and Uranus in Capricorn Ascendant Libra IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks Knowflake Posts: 74 From: southeasternseaboard Registered: Sep 2013
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posted September 04, 2013 02:05 AM
+1 quote: Originally posted by GypseeWind: I stumbled across this one a little bit ago.. maybe it will soothe you too, for awhile. http://tinybuddha.com/blog/be-gentle-with-yourself-when-dealing-with-heartbreak/
Love this. Thanks for posting.IP: Logged |
GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 5874 From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street.. Registered: May 2009
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posted September 11, 2013 10:18 PM
Astrokeen;If you are still suffering.. I have found something that has literally changed my perspective over night. No, I do not work with these people , nor am I affiliated with them in any way, shape or form. I have just been studying heartbreak (I have an air moon,what can I say? lol) INTENSELY for about a week now, and I happened to land on this place quite by synchronicity, and we all know about that, so if you haven't heard of it, watch the 18 minute video, and play along.. and see what you think!! http://www.tapping.com/ IP: Logged |
Lioness Knowflake Posts: 6438 From: Registered: Mar 2010
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posted September 11, 2013 10:33 PM
quote: Originally posted by GypseeWind: Astrokeen;If you are still suffering.. I have found something that has literally changed my perspective over night. No, I do not work with these people , nor am I affiliated with them in any way, shape or form. I have just been studying heartbreak (I have an air moon,what can I say? lol) INTENSELY for about a week now, and I happened to land on this place quite by synchronicity, and we all know about that, so if you haven't heard of it, watch the 18 minute video, and play along.. and see what you think!! http://www.tapping.com/
Oo wow... Thanks..l I'll use it also
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GypseeWind Knowflake Posts: 5874 From: Love Street, she lingers long on Love Street.. Registered: May 2009
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posted September 12, 2013 12:07 AM
It really works Lioness! And I'm usually a disbeliever in this type of froo froo stuff. lol. Good luck, and let me know.IP: Logged |
hippichick Knowflake Posts: 3389 From: Registered: May 2009
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posted September 12, 2013 11:24 AM
I am trying it!Thought I could complete before the kid got out of the shower... Will try later, again when I am all alone.... Thanks Gypsee! IP: Logged |
dadoo Knowflake Posts: 94 From: Mercury Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 12, 2013 03:52 PM
quote: Originally posted by Astro keen: So, I'm not going to leave it entirely to the time factor.
I'm starting to think the same. It's been six months already and sometimes it just feels like everything happened yesterday. It looks like getting busy and waiting won't be enough. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve Knowflake Posts: 6533 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 12, 2013 06:35 PM
((( dadoo ))) I sometimes still dream / think of someone I haven't seen for more than 2 years, and we weren't even in a relationship.
Getting over some people can be very hard. I think some people are just meant to leave a deep mark on us forever. Hang in there ~
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RunAroundScreaming Moderator Posts: 7443 From: Registered: Oct 2010
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posted November 12, 2013 10:25 PM
quote: Originally posted by hippichick: hi!In my opinion, you can try all kind of things, cord cuttings, unbinding spells, etc....visualisations, the whole shebang. But until one is really ready to let go, REALLY READY I would just leave well enough alone. I see relationships, when two souls and humans come together, they create a third entity...the "relationship." When it is time for the relationship to die, just like all other energy entities, it takes time and love and the grief process. I have make the mistake, MANY times in my old years to try to rush things.... It just doesnt work until you are ready. Having said that, there is nothing wrong with loving yourself at this time...this is MUCH needed...take care of your SELF, dont be pressured by pop-cultue to go out with friends, etc, just take care of yourself and your heart and let your intuition/higher self guide you. blessings and lots of love teri~ )~(
100% agree with this. And so few people get this. It's not ben n jerrys and getting pedicures that will heal you. There is no sense in trying to block out memories or feelings, that is just numbing yourself. There is joy in pain. And a lesson to be learned from keeping good memories, maybe you learned true love from this relationship, and can seek to find it again in the next one? But most importantly there is joy in pain. Chopin did not write masterpieces when he was happy. Sorrow leads to profoundness. And profoundness to understanding. Accept the flow of life and stand back and look at it all as being potentially beneficial. YOU WILL GET OVER THEM WHEN UR READY. Don't rush or it will just lead to unealthy behavior. If u have not done the proper patient waiting with urself and letting urself fully grieve and let out all ur pain in as many ways as u can (most likely just annoying everyone by talking about them over n over : P) then what happens is that u turn to unealthy ways in getting over them which never let u fully grieve and leave u with a void. Such as seeking a new relationship to make u feel better, maybe become more sexually provocative or even engaging in promiscuity. But all these things are numbing yourself and what happens is that mone of them will fully allow u to grieve and so long after u have forgotten u will have an episode and it will pop back up and ull remember everything again and be just as sad. I HATE when someone tells me "u need to get over him" Haha literally feel like punching them in the face. That person rly lacks understanding. It's this grieving process which will let u analyze what u learnedfrom this relationship and which will in the end make ufeel grateful and see it as a positive experience in the end. Grief brings profoundness and meaning and thus happiness. while numbing urself brings detachment and lack of self-analysis, superficialty and thus unhappiness. My ex changed my life and showed me what true love is, but he forgot about me quickly after we broke up and what did i teach him? Im sure very little, im sure he gained very little profoundness from our relationship (bc he numbed himself by sleeping with his ex, and then well eventually started missing me and wanted to see me and though he begged and texted me every three days for two months i said nope too late). But im profound and every person who has been my friend or my crush has taught me something valuable and i choose to remember them. It's bc i choose to remember them that they continue to teach me things, well their memory does . ------------------ True to my aqua north node, I'll always pick the choice nobody expected me to pick. ebay compatibility readings | testimonials | Past readings | Ideal compatibility (3rd post) | Q&A | What's a Love stellium? | Most important aspects descriptions | Aspects to avoid | Guide to Chinese Zodiac Appearance | The Order in Astrology
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Swift Freeze Knowflake Posts: 481 From: One World Registered: Nov 2009
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posted November 13, 2013 04:13 AM
quote: Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming: 100% agree with this. Chopin did not write masterpieces when he was happy.
Another Chopin fan? We should start a Chopin fan club. I also agree with everything else you posted, though I didn't re-quote the whole thing, to make it look prettier. Time, to grieve is important. It's the same as a loved one dieing. It takes everyone a different amount of time. ------------------ Learn lots. Don't judge. Laugh for no reason. Be nice. Seek Happiness. Follow your dreams. IP: Logged |
dadoo Knowflake Posts: 94 From: Mercury Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 13, 2013 05:30 PM
quote: Originally posted by Doux Rêve: ((( dadoo ))) I sometimes still dream / think of someone I haven't seen for more than 2 years, and we weren't even in a relationship. Getting over some people can be very hard. I think some people are just meant to leave a deep mark on us forever. Hang in there ~
Wow, two years is a long time... I hope that I'm not going to have to repeat to myself "dont'tcalldon'tcalldon'tcall" for another eighteen months lol You say you weren't even in a relationship... but I wonder if it doesn't make things worse. When you've lived with someone and got into fights all the time and wanted to kill them everyday, you're less likely to fantasize about what could have happened. Isn't it so? You're right, it's someone I'll never forget. I just hope someday I can remember without hurting ^^ Thank you for the kind words, Doux Rêve, they mean a lot in those painful times <3 IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve Knowflake Posts: 6533 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 13, 2013 05:40 PM
quote: Originally posted by dadoo: Wow, two years is a long time... I hope that I'm not going to have to repeat to myself "dont'tcalldon'tcalldon'tcall" for another eighteen months lol
I hope so too, sweetheart. Stay strong. quote: You say you weren't even in a relationship... but I wonder if it doesn't make things worse. When you've lived with someone and got into fights all the time and wanted to kill them everyday, you're less likely to fantasize about what could have happened. Isn't it so?
Most definitely. I realize the whole thing was basically based on my imagination, but well... I was under a Neptune transit at the time. quote: You're right, it's someone I'll never forget. I just hope someday I can remember without hurting ^^
I hope so, too. It will hurt less and less, that is for sure. But it may take some time before you get there. Like RAS pointed out: grieving is very important. Let all the pain out, express yourself. Try to let it go and heal your heart. And don't forget to keep the hope! It may be hard to believe, but there are good things on your way. Just be patient and keep believing. quote: Thank you for the kind words, Doux Rêve, they mean a lot in those painful times <3
You're very welcome, dadoo. I would have given you a hug if I could! But you'll have to do with a cyber hug *cyber bear hug*
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dadoo Knowflake Posts: 94 From: Mercury Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 13, 2013 05:53 PM
quote: Originally posted by RunAroundScreaming: There is joy in pain. And a lesson to be learned from keeping good memories, maybe you learned true love from this relationship, and can seek to find it again in the next one? But most importantly there is joy in pain. Chopin did not write masterpieces when he was happy. Sorrow leads to profoundness. And profoundness to understanding. Accept the flow of life and stand back and look at it all as being potentially beneficial. YOU WILL GET OVER THEM WHEN UR READY. Don't rush or it will just lead to unealthy behavior.If u have not done the proper patient waiting with urself and letting urself fully grieve and let out all ur pain in as many ways as u can (most likely just annoying everyone by talking about them over n over : P) then what happens is that u turn to unealthy ways in getting over them which never let u fully grieve and leave u with a void. Such as seeking a new relationship to make u feel better, maybe become more sexually provocative or even engaging in promiscuity. But all these things are numbing yourself and what happens is that mone of them will fully allow u to grieve and so long after u have forgotten u will have an episode and it will pop back up and ull remember everything again and be just as sad. I HATE when someone tells me "u need to get over him" Haha literally feel like punching them in the face. That person rly lacks understanding. It's this grieving process which will let u analyze what u learnedfrom this relationship and which will in the end make ufeel grateful and see it as a positive experience in the end. Grief brings profoundness and meaning and thus happiness. while numbing urself brings detachment and lack of self-analysis, superficialty and thus unhappiness. My ex changed my life and showed me what true love is, but he forgot about me quickly after we broke up and what did i teach him? Im sure very little, im sure he gained very little profoundness from our relationship (bc he numbed himself by sleeping with his ex, and then well eventually started missing me and wanted to see me and though he begged and texted me every three days for two months i said nope too late). But im profound and every person who has been my friend or my crush has taught me something valuable and i choose to remember them. It's bc i choose to remember them that they continue to teach me things, well their memory does .
I won't even try to deny I'm not ready to forget. It's the classical "reason" vs "heart" and "fantasy" vs "reality". With my chart ruler closely aspected by both pluto and neptune, I'm definitely having a hard time choosing "reason" and "reality" over the other two, but I am well aware that there is a lesson in suffering enough to be able to give up all unconscious hopes. Because even if I don't think I have hope left, the truth is I wouldn't feel like that if I really didn't have any. While I'm well advanced on the path to forgiving the other, I'm not soooooo advanced on the path of forgiving myself... I have definitely heard from this relationship that I could love this deep. I honestly had no idea. I just hope I'm not going to turn into someone sour or bitter, which is not at all me. I've become suspicious, not to say plain paranoid, when someone shows an interest now. I don't want to stay that kind of person forever. While I'm under repair is fine, I guess ^^ Thank you RunAroundScreaming!! IP: Logged | |