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Author Topic:   Online Dating 50/+ ... this ain't easy!
curiouspisces89
Knowflake

Posts: 286
From: UK
Registered: Jul 2015

posted August 31, 2016 06:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for curiouspisces89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I know right, but everyone is pretending that they are just looking for a fling so it's annoying me. I know that it's our human nature and need to love other humans but hey ho.

I do get approached but unfortunately nothing comes out of it as usually there's something missinf something. It's not that I am picky but I do need to feel chemistry with someone and intelligent conversations and that's hard to find I guess. But I am hopefully that it will happen when the time is right ❤️

quote:
Originally posted by sugarflapjacks:
Wow, curiouspisces89, I don't think its a shame at all to say you're looking for love. Quiet as it's kept, I'll bet ALOT of 20-somethings are looking for love -- you guys just have more ways to meet them! I know at 27 I was looking for it and I had it for a minute there, but alas, it didn't work out for the long haul. I may tell that story here one day. We were crazy in love. But I had had a previous major hurt and just found it very hard to trust. So my insecurities (and his) just got the best of us!

Is it easier for you to meet eligible, single men IRL? A co-worker of mine (he's 26) says he is online dating because he's not having much luck in person. But online, he's finding the women to be more facetious. Like the men have to have money and sporty cars. He says he's got student loans to pay and just doesn't have it like that yet lol. He's on a free site too.


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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 231
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted August 31, 2016 08:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
curiouspisces89, you're not picky, you want what you want. Dating shouldn't be work, it should be fun and exciting. If there's no spark, no chemistry, there's no anticipation and thus becomes of a chore.

I've often had the though of dating someone I've already met or known. Not necessarily an Ex, but someone where there's some history and not just started a new. It could be an age thing, but I'd be more comfortable with getting better acquainted with some I know a little something about.

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curiouspisces89
Knowflake

Posts: 286
From: UK
Registered: Jul 2015

posted September 01, 2016 01:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for curiouspisces89     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You will think that yes, but a lot of people are scared of love as it comes with some kind of commitment and risk. It's bizarre but people want a relationship but without all the responsibility that comes with it. Of course not all but there's a lot of people like that. It's crazy how many people are single. It's not healthy for us or our society that we live in.

Anyway I do get approached in real life but unfortunately it's never anything substential. I have some natal placements and transits currently that make me want to look for something deeper like a soulmate. I believe and always have that love comes at the right time so we all have to be patient ❤️

quote:
Originally posted by sugarflapjacks:
Wow, curiouspisces89, I don't think its a shame at all to say you're looking for love. Quiet as it's kept, I'll bet ALOT of 20-somethings are looking for love -- you guys just have more ways to meet them! I know at 27 I was looking for it and I had it for a minute there, but alas, it didn't work out for the long haul. I may tell that story here one day. We were crazy in love. But I had had a previous major hurt and just found it very hard to trust. So my insecurities (and his) just got the best of us!

Is it easier for you to meet eligible, single men IRL? A co-worker of mine (he's 26) says he is online dating because he's not having much luck in person. But online, he's finding the women to be more facetious. Like the men have to have money and sporty cars. He says he's got student loans to pay and just doesn't have it like that yet lol. He's on a free site too.


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OnTheOtherHand
Knowflake

Posts: 129
From: LONDON,UK
Registered: Nov 2014

posted September 04, 2016 03:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for OnTheOtherHand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
"When you said you leave a gap to center yourself and reminds you to stop trying so hard, how do you mean that?"

I guess I just mean to not keep logging on and making it my life's work? I get bored too to be honest. I like to make sure I'm focussing on other stuff or it just becomes a bit depressing.
Oh...! And the websites really do manipulate, you said about being chased to log in, I had an email saying that as I'd had so many hits I was considered more attractive so I'd be appearing on the searches of more attractive people and I'd find more attractive matches offered to me...I find that horrendous...surely most people achieve a certain amount of hits after so long so to manipulate your results and insinuate that less attractive people aren't worth the same? Oh dear...

quote:
Originally posted by OnTheOtherHand:
I'd love to meet someone naturally when I'm not thinking about it, not dressed up and just completely relaxed

Wouldn't that be the best? Did you ever wonder why the guy in the grocery store or standing in line at an eatery/coffee shop or walking his dog or even standing at the gas pump getting gas is attracted to you, but doesn't approach you? At my age, I wonder what is the deal!?[/B][/QUOTE]

lol...I've never thought that anyone in my daily life even remotely fancied me! Food for thought indeed!!

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 71152
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 05, 2016 01:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Interesting concept.

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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 231
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 05, 2016 01:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes @Randall, is your comment in relation to what I said about
quote:
Originally posted by sugarflapjacks:
Wouldn't that be the best? Did you ever wonder why the guy in the grocery store or standing in line at an eatery/coffee shop or walking his dog or even standing at the gas pump getting gas is attracted to you, but doesn't approach you? At my age, I wonder what is the deal!?
It is, but I'll have to retract the one about the gas station, I think that scenario would make me (and maybe other women) uncomfortable -- creepy!

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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 231
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 05, 2016 01:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
...

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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 231
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 16, 2016 03:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Possible rekindle of friendship with someone I met online dating? We've been out of touch, but we were friends through cyberspace for almost 10 years (infrequent contact though). He says he doesn't remember me, but has emailed me a few times via the site and offline, as well as sent me winks, likes and favorited me. He has my phone number and a recent picture. Asked me how he ever let me get away from him, but doesn't remember interacting with me. I haven't said anything to jar his memory, because he asked me for my phone to do this, but he hasn't called. It's been about a week and a half. I thought he would call.

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OnTheOtherHand
Knowflake

Posts: 129
From: LONDON,UK
Registered: Nov 2014

posted October 16, 2016 10:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for OnTheOtherHand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi again,

This is an odd one isn't it! To be honest I find it strange that after contact for 10 years, even off and on, that he says he doesn't remember you.And then to get your number and not call? To be honest I'd let it go..while there may be good reason I just get the sense that there's no real interest. I'm sorry too, I know how it feels when you just want to meet someone that fits.

Make sure you keep us updated..evrything is crossed for you!

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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 231
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 16, 2016 04:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey OTOH!, thank you for that!

Yes, it is so odd. 2006 we began communicating. The thing is, when I saw him on the dating site, I liked one of his pictures and immediately, he emailed me thanking me for liking his photo. I wasn't a paying subscriber, so I couldn't respond via the site email. So I sent him an email offline (the one we used to communicate). That's where it all started with him saying he didn't remember me, could I send a picture, phone number, etc.

I didn't send him the picture at that point. But hours later, he sent me another email via the site telling me he read my profile and was very interested and asked to chat. I still didn't respond via the site for reasons just stated. Later on, he sent a wink and favorited me. Winks are free, so I sent him one. After a few more emails back and forth of him asking for my picture and after I sent that, he asked for my phone number, eventually I sent my phone number and asked for his number.

Crickets now lol

I don't know what to make of it.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 71152
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 17, 2016 09:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe he got scared?

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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 231
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 17, 2016 06:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Scared of what though? I'm harmless. Plus, he contacted me. All I did was like a picture in his profile, that wasn't even with him in it.

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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 231
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 17, 2016 06:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
**Please don't quote**
So what I did was this. I activated my account and I replied to his email via the site. In that email I listed an affectionate nickname he used to call me and why to help him remember. We never met, but would have great conversations whenever we did get in contact and I thought we were friends. Never any pressure from me cos it's not my style. I don't think I ever called him more than once if he didn't return a call. Over the years, I would reach out using email as that is less intrusive, even though I had his phone numbers.

So last night he replied using my nickname and asked me to give him my number again...please.

Srsly? I started to feel like he is jerking me around. It's such different behavior from what I remember about him.

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OnTheOtherHand
Knowflake

Posts: 129
From: LONDON,UK
Registered: Nov 2014

posted October 19, 2016 05:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for OnTheOtherHand     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you know what? He isn't worth it. He isn't making any effort. After 10 years? He should be leaving you in no doubt that he's interested by now.

How about trying a different site?

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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 231
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 21, 2016 11:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
*please don't quote -- sharing personal details*

Hey Lady OTOH, you're right. I didn't give him my phone number again, because I already did, but in reply to his email where he used my nickname, I chronicled of our acquaintance a bit more. (I didn't want to embarrass him sharing the details of his out-of-blue confession that shook me up (that he didn't know why he fallen in love with me). I was beginning a relationship with someone else since it had been two years of infrequent contact between him and I when he told me this. Thus, I never knew he was feeling that way about me.)

At the end, I told him it wasn't my intent to make him feel uncomfortable, and if I did, my apologies. Told him that I'd like to get back in touch, and hoped he would too, (basing this on him reaching out to me via the site this time around) but it's up to him -- no hard feelings -- he didn't owe me anything. No response yet.

So yes, we met online 10 years ago but contact was sporadic over that 10 years - pretty much faded out after the confession outcome. So maybe that was a sign.

I did notice something odd that I didn't notice before. As of two days ago, his profile says he's the same age he was 10 years ago, 43. I know he'll be 54 (scorp) on his birthday. Midlife crisis maybe.

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