posted December 20, 2013 04:27 PM            

There is a very good friend of mine who I had to let go.

We had a great friendship, loved to talk and share. We got along so well at times we felt that we were really connected.

Other times though we would get into horrible fights and we each cut each other out of our lives more times that I want to count. When it was good it was great. When it was bad it was very painful.

We never had a romantic relationship though we were attracted to each other and sometimes our conversations drifted into flirting.

Eventually I had to admit that I would say and do hurtful things to him because I loved him. That pretty much put an end to our relationship. But to be honest, accepting the fact that I loved him and letting him go that last time was such a relief. I felt so much better. I love him unconditionally and without any expectations. He won't or can't love me back and that's OK.

Yes, I lost a great friend, but it was just not healthy. Accepting that I love him unconditionally yet needed to let him go released me from this angst and pain that accompanied the good stuff and led me to be horrible to him. The calm I felt after was like a magic healing.