posted June 10, 2014 05:52 PM            

First, I am a scorpio female with cancer moon and he is a cancer with a Gemini moon.

Some background, we met in 2006 when we were working together. The connection was instant and we were inseparable at work, always talking and laughing. However, at the time I was in a relationship and shortly after starting that job I became pregnant, so nothing ever came of it. He got laid off from that job then I did and we lost touch. I have to say that during the past 6/7 years, I have thought about him periodically and would look for him on Facebook every once in a while. So I found him on there one day and I was so happy! We would communicate on there every once in a while. Fast forward to 6 mos ago, we began talking to each other everyday (I am no longer with my daughters father).

As time has gone by, we were texting every day, then talking on the phone. That connection we had in the past was still there and we can talk for hours. Then he came to visit (he lives in a different state but was born in the state I live in and has family here. Well it was like we never missed a beat. He had started coming to visit when he had time off. He gets along so well with my daughter and she likes him a lot. I did tell him how I feel about him. I do feel that he likes me too, but he is very secretive, like no one else I have known. He has told me that he has had a lot of girlfriends in the past and called himself a serial dater.

He came again for his niece's graduation for a short time and he spent time with us too. I could tell that he had a lot on his mind this time and was more distant. I didn't ask him about it and I have not been pushy at all with him. I dropped him off at the airport and kissed him goodbye (He is currently working in a different state than where he is living). So when he was back where he is staying he texted me that he does not want to be where he is. I asked him where he wants to be and he said not here, home somewhere. So I told him to come back and that I really enjoy being with him. He said that he enjoys being with me and that he has some stuff to figure out. Then he became more distant and the all day texting stopped. I told him I felt like I was bugging him. He said no, that has to deal with some personal stuff.

I texted him a few days ago and asked if he was seeing anyone. He said no, that he just needs to be alone before he does anything. And that was that.

posted June 10, 2014 05:57 PM            

I think it's something most men do at some point when they feel like they're getting into something serious - distancing themselves.

Worry not, leave him be for a while and let him decide if he wants to continue seeing you or if it's too serious for him.

Try to live your own life regardless of his actions. I know it's hard but you can't depend on a man like that. Not at this point in your relationship, at least.

I hope everything will work out for you.

posted June 11, 2014 11:20 PM            

It did help some to write it out.

posted June 12, 2014 11:54 AM            

I'm fairly sure he's going to come back. I have a feeling there's something more to it than that.

Stay strong and be patient. Try to not let it affect you too much!

posted June 14, 2014 09:30 PM            

What is an appropriate amount of time to give him?? There is a part of me says what if he is just playing me or what if this was his way of telling me it's over. Then the other is saying well he may need more time, he does have a lot going on.

posted June 15, 2014 03:12 PM            

There's not much you can do, unfortunately.

The ball is in his court.

So meanwhile, you just continue to live your life. You can't force someone to be with you, they have to want it themselves and then take action based on that.

I can't tell you if he's playing or what, but I think you'll know soon.

Mercury is retrograde in Cancer, the sign of his Sun, so he must be really affected by it.
Maybe he is thinking of some things that have nothing to do with you and he wants to make sure he deals with things first.

Maybe he's reconsidering his relationship with you.

At any rate, the decision is in his hands, there's really not much you can do except for living your life as fully as you can without him (for now, at least).

I really hope your situation will become clearer soon and that you'll feel better. I know it's hard when it comes to heart matters. But you'll get through this, I promise.

posted June 15, 2014 03:22 PM            

He thanked me for being concerned and said that he is starting to feel better. I did tell him I miss talking to him, because I really do. He said he is seeing the therapist and they told him that he has a love addiction. He said that he needs space for a while. So I just told him that I hope he does find what makes him happy.

posted June 15, 2014 06:51 PM            

Things are a bit more complicated than I thought (and you too, probably).

It's hard to get over fellow Water signs. I'm a Scorpio as well and my biggest love was a Cancer. Took me years to get over him, but here I am today, liberated from his grip. So it is possible, even if it's not easy.

May take a while before you're back to feeling good by yourself, without him.

I have to say though, that usually if something doesn't work out, it's for your best. And I don't say that just because - it's really true. But the trick is to not become a victim and start blaming the other person, yourself or even "life" itself.
You have to pick yourself up after a while.

It's good to express your feelings, so if you can do that, it'll help. The process of healing/moving on will be shorter.

Take all the time you need though, don't push yourself and just be gentle with your own feelings and yourself.

And remember you're not alone in this, countless people have gone through the same thing, even now, and they all get through this. Life goes on.

posted June 15, 2014 08:53 PM            

You're a strong woman, you'll get through this in no time.

Just believe in yourself and let time do its work.

Sending you many blessings.

posted July 13, 2014 11:20 AM            

He is continuing to see the therapist. He told me that he knows it is bad for him to be where he is (He is working in a different state). He feels alone and that he is wasting his time and could be spending it with family.

He has gone quiet again and I am back to being very sad. I don't know what it means that he was telling me how he would like to be with us and now he disappeared again.

posted October 06, 2014 08:12 AM            

Since I last posted, he would text me pretty randomly and I would respond. Eventually, I became annoyed with the random texting. I would reply and he would go silent. So one day I asked why he texted me randomly and he replied, I don't know, just being friendly. Well that was it for me. That behavior is not friendly to me.

After that he would randomly send me some picture on FB, something about horses or chickens (I own a horse and chickens.) So he was done with his job in Alaska and I had this feeling that when he was dine, he would come to visit my state (his family lives here) and he would also want to see me.

So he sends me a message on FB that he was thinking about coming to see my chickens. He could not even say he wanted to see me. I said fine and he came by. Any feelings I had for him are gone and I also realized how emotionless he is. We talked some and he said he would come by Saturday and will message me. No message and did not come by. I guess he must have felt that I was done with him

posted October 12, 2014 03:16 PM            

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Originally posted by FireMoon:
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