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Author
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Topic: My Male friend says he's NOT attracted to me
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PrettyPisces
Knowflake Posts: 162
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 02, 2014 10:46 PM
  
I've been putting events that occurred on the website regarding this cancer man . Two weeks ago , I always chatting with him on the phone and he says " I've never been attracted to my female friends because it causes problems . Like I've never been attracted to ( he started naming people and then included me ) I was hurt and confused I've had feelings for my friend , my confusion came from 1.) He told his bestfriend and mom he has feelings / likes me but he feels like I have secret and I'm not letting him know ( basically him saying he wants me to say I like you). 2.) He has asked me about my previous situations and says I wanna know for future reference and when I asked him to repeat hisself he smiled and said no . 3.) Everytime I'm around him he's touchy and always stares at me , like if I turn around he makes it known he's staring . 4.) He once texted me and said " we have a great understanding that can lead to elsewhere but that's another topic " . I've been hurt and haven't spoke to him because of this . The reason why I'm writing this is because today him , his sister , and bestfriend all called me different times all looking for me , I'm sure they were calling on his behave . How do I approach this situation ?
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AmelieRose81
Knowflake Posts: 425
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 03, 2014 03:48 AM
If he has blatantly said he's not interested take the offence and vanish.unless you can handle being his friend knowing this? IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted November 04, 2014 07:51 AM
Tell him stories about a guy you are dating - or make one up if you're not dating anyone. Then sit back and watch how he reacts  Based on the whole story and having read some of your previous posts, I think he's bluffing.
Who initiated the conversation about being attracted to friends? How did you get onto that topic? I don't know about you.. but I don't go around randomly telling my friends that I've never been attracted to them. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted November 04, 2014 07:51 AM
:edit:
Actually.. you could just say "I went on ONE date.. and he's pretty attractive and seems like a cool person.. I'll probably see him again.".
If he likes you, that ^ would be enough to gauge his reaction. IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 1281
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 04, 2014 08:16 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Tell him stories about a guy you are dating - or make one up if you're not dating anyone. Then sit back and watch how he reacts Based on the whole story and having read some of your previous posts, I think he's bluffing.
Who initiated the conversation about being attracted to friends? How did you get onto that topic? I don't know about you.. but I don't go around randomly telling my friends that I've never been attracted to them.
Lol exactly what I was going to say including see how he reacts to you flirting with someone else. I think it's a game to deliberately confuse and make you seek his approval - remember that in general women have the power over the first stage happening or not & that's one way to disbalance that. Of course could be wrong but it something doesn't sound right about it or perhaps he is fighting attraction it in a less calculated manner IP: Logged |
ikja
unregistered
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posted November 04, 2014 08:26 AM
One of my friends said to me that he didn't find me attractive. In fact, he used quite a hurtful phrase. I literally cut contact. He came back eventually and we still speak till this day, but it was enough to make me kill any feelings I possibly had towards him like that. Cut contact and see if that makes a difference for you.------------------
When in doubt, ask questions. ❤ Sun: ♊, Asc: ♏, Moon: ♈, Mars: ♈, Venus: ♉, Mercury: ♊, Jupiter: ♋ IP: Logged |
ikja
unregistered
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posted November 04, 2014 08:29 AM
Wait until he makes an effort.
Like 3 x missed calls and then answer casually.
Been in this situation before tbh, the guy doesn't love me, but loves the attention. When you withdraw your attention, you'll see he way he will chase you. Ha - the ego.------------------
When in doubt, ask questions. ❤ Sun: ♊, Asc: ♏, Moon: ♈, Mars: ♈, Venus: ♉, Mercury: ♊, Jupiter: ♋ IP: Logged |
florence
Knowflake Posts: 1281
From:
Registered: Jun 2012
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posted November 04, 2014 09:00 AM
quote:
Originally posted by ikja:
Wait until he makes an effort.
Like 3 x missed calls and then answer casually.
Been in this situation before tbh, the guy doesn't love me, but loves the attention. When you withdraw your attention, you'll see he way he will chase you. Ha - the ego.
It doesn't sound like love if he doesn't want to make himself vulnerable but then again some don't experience love to that degree IP: Logged |
PrettyPisces
Knowflake Posts: 162
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 04, 2014 09:38 AM
Odette: one time him and I were talking and he's said it's time you get into a relationship , I said my problem is I haven't meet any good guys yet , he sucks his teeth . I think he's bluffing too but I also have to accept what he said to me and not want he " previously said " and how I feel IP: Logged |
PrettyPisces
Knowflake Posts: 162
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 04, 2014 09:46 AM
@ikja: the reasoning for me writing this is because he has been calling numerous times and just this past weekend he has his loved ones calling me ( I have a close relationship with his mom ) last night some random number called me of course I didn't answer but they texted me saying he was looking for me , I'm kind of feeling like I'm being stalked IP: Logged |
ikja
unregistered
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posted November 04, 2014 12:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by PrettyPisces:
@ikja: the reasoning for me writing this is because he has been calling numerous times and just this past weekend he has his loved ones calling me ( I have a close relationship with his mom ) last night some random number called me of course I didn't answer but they texted me saying he was looking for me , I'm kind of feeling like I'm being stalked
Well alright then, if that's the case... Time to change focus. What do you want from him? Do you like him too? If so, it's time to 1. Respond to his calls and 2. Yep, make him jealous! ------------------
When in doubt, ask questions. ❤ Sun: ♊, Asc: ♏, Moon: ♈, Mars: ♈, Venus: ♉, Mercury: ♊, Jupiter: ♋ IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 71953
From: Saturn next to Charmaine
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 04, 2014 11:21 PM
Methinks he doth protest too much.IP: Logged |
Vajra
Knowflake Posts: 1737
From:
Registered: Dec 2012
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posted November 05, 2014 05:36 AM
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tgem
Moderator Posts: 4730
From:
Registered: Jan 2013
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posted November 05, 2014 08:24 AM
"Ah, the water sign men.... God must have invented them so people would be forced to discover the arts of divination such as astrology, Tarot, etc... "That is probably THE BEST quote I've read on this site in a LONG time....HA - ain't that the truth  IP: Logged |
AmelieRose81
Knowflake Posts: 425
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 05, 2014 02:41 PM
Or.....my sister once convinced herself that a cancer man wanted her but was too scared and cancer men are afraid to admit attraction.Well that's a point of view. the reality was he really didnt want her. IP: Logged |
AmelieRose81
Knowflake Posts: 425
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 05, 2014 02:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by tgem:
"Ah, the water sign men.... God must have invented them so people would be forced to discover the arts of divination such as astrology, Tarot, etc... "That is probably THE BEST quote I've read on this site in a LONG time....HA - ain't that the truth
Love this!
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Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted November 05, 2014 05:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by tgem:
"Ah, the water sign men.... God must have invented them so people would be forced to discover the arts of divination such as astrology, Tarot, etc... "That is probably THE BEST quote I've read on this site in a LONG time....HA - ain't that the truth
I was just about to say that. Best quote ever!
Although I would say both water men and women, because they can both be mysterious. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted November 05, 2014 05:44 PM
quote:
Originally posted by AmelieRose81:
Or.....my sister once convinced herself that a cancer man wanted her but was too scared and cancer men are afraid to admit attraction.Well that's a point of view. the reality was he really didnt want her.
Were they close friends for years? Did she know his best friends and familly?
In my experience Cancers really love women they feel safe with... and that seems to be the case with this story. IP: Logged |
PrettyPisces
Knowflake Posts: 162
From: Cambria heights,NY
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted November 05, 2014 07:58 PM
He's still calling , thanks everyone for there responding , I've known him for some time and initially I just thought hey this kid always stares at me , then I found out we have so many similarities over the time I grew feelings for him , but never directly told him , he's asked me numerous times he thought I was hiding something from him IP: Logged |
GoingDutch
Knowflake Posts: 373
From:
Registered: Oct 2014
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posted November 05, 2014 11:05 PM
How old is he, may I ask?
You guys sound young, perhaps in college?
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AmelieRose81
Knowflake Posts: 425
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 06, 2014 01:04 AM
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Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted November 06, 2014 03:47 AM
quote:
Yes they had.
The man said straight up he is not attracted to her. That ought to be taken at face value.
If it was any other sign would that be the advice?
I just don't like listening to the latest media trends.. and "dating advice".. and the whole "he's not that into you" thing has become so -typical-. People are people. Things are different from case to case. There isn't one shoe that fits all.
As far as I'm concerned the classic dating-book writers (including Liz Tuccilo)... are primarily out to make money, not to actually enlighten anyone. And their advice is pretty unhelpful overall. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted November 06, 2014 04:08 AM
Anyway... PrettyPisces.. I'm not saying you should go in the opposite extreme and think he is in love with you. He may or may not be interested.
I don't think the conversation you had means much because he could have been testing you.. or he could've been honest (and rude).I really think the easiest and quickest way to find out is to make him jealous. If he believes he's going to lose your attention, he will be more overt and make a move.
If he *doesn't* ^ in this situation... If he actually appears happy that you found someone and completely unfazed.. then that would be a good indication that he truly isn't interested. IP: Logged |
AmelieRose81
Knowflake Posts: 425
From:
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 06, 2014 04:59 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Odette:
Were they close friends for years? Did she know his best friends and familly?
In my experience Cancers really love women they feel safe with... and that seems to be the case with this story.
Yes they had. The man said straight up he is not attracted to her. That ought to be taken at face value.
If it was any other sign would that be the advice? If this man feels safe with her shouldn't that mean he would be with her? also I hate the whole he's not that into you thing too. Its too simplistic. but if you go back and read my Pisces man tgreads I was eventually told if he's not actively making much effort what does that tell you? Dont want pretty Pisces to waste time as I and alot of other people do. IP: Logged |
Odette
Moderator Posts: 6755
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted November 06, 2014 06:28 AM
quote:
if you go back and read my Pisces man tgreads I was eventually told if he's not actively making much effort what does that tell you?
I'm sorry about the Pisces guy! His behaviour was really disrespectful, so I agree with others - that you should stir clear.
But this is a different situation... I don't see the parallel. IP: Logged |
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