posted February 12, 2015 09:03 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Healing Mystic Melody:
If he's in a relationship he is just trying to do damage control so he doesn't get in trouble when his girlfriend reads your correspondence. He isn't reading your letter for deep meaning and giving a meaningful response. When you said he told you he was single, was this recently or a long time ago? Does he still have a girlfriend? Vajra is still giving you great advice.

A good and wise author named Jeff Brown has a great quote that fits this situation.
"If one person doesn't want the relationship, then it’s simply not a fit. No sense trying to figure out why we think they don’t want it. No sense blaming it on their commitment issues. No sense waiting around for them to realize they wanted it after all. Because it doesn't matter why they don’t want it. What matters is that we want to be met heart-on by a fully engaged partner. If they don’t want it, then we don’t want it, because we don’t want to be with someone who is not there for it fully. That’s the thing about love relationship- it’s an agreement that has to be signed by both souls. If one doesn't sign, then nothing has been lost. If it’s not a fit for them, it’s not a fit for us either. On to the next adventure we go."
(~an excerpt from Love it Forward, available at http://www.amazon.com/Love-It-Forward-Jeff-Br…/…/0980885930/

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He's in a relationship yes, and I don't know if he was doing damage control like you said. I didn't understand it at first because I was a bit taken aback by the rudeness of it especially when what I had said was nice so I thought there was something he had misunderstood but then I realized that he had understood and was just trying to explain politely that this wasn't his case and that he couldn't be blame for my state (he thought didn't feel good) so well...

I know I've been given really great advice here. Maybe I should have not said anything but at least now it allows me to have a bit of relief. It is painful not to talk your mind and just say how you feel, yes the circumstances were not right but to be honest I've felt a little bit better these days than I did before. I mean, yes it hurts and he was kind of rude which I honestly did not appreciate. But when I say better, I mean it in a "more free" kind of way.

posted February 14, 2015 11:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by ueharaa:
He's in a relationship yes, and I don't know if he was doing damage control like you said. I didn't understand it at first because I was a bit taken aback by the rudeness of it especially when what I had said was nice so I thought there was something he had misunderstood but then I realized that he had understood and was just trying to explain politely that this wasn't his case and that he couldn't be blame for my state (he thought didn't feel good) so well...

I know I've been given really great advice here. Maybe I should have not said anything but at least now it allows me to have a bit of relief. It is painful not to talk your mind and just say how you feel, yes the circumstances were not right but to be honest I've felt a little bit better these days than I did before. I mean, yes it hurts and he was kind of rude which I honestly did not appreciate. But when I say better, I mean it in a "more free" kind of way.

And I agree with this quote. That's what everyone should tell themselves but feelings follow no reason. You see I don't have a hard time usually moving on from people. I understand that things and people change, and I understand that sometimes it is better to leave people behind. But here, even with all I know, the "kinship" feeling has been difficult to shake. Even now I still don't understand how I can feel some sort of link, some sort of deeper appreciation for this person, when there is no reason for it and when I am the only one who feels it. Sometimes I do tell myself "hey you're not that crazy, you did not create this". And I did not. But well I guess I'll just have to learn to ignore it which is easier when you're the only person "seeing/feeling" it or whatever..

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posted February 14, 2015 11:49 AM            

I think about him daily and tempted to connect with him but I stop myself because this lifetime it's not meant to be. I love him but I have to wish him every happiness.

So I feel you about the kinship bit even if it's one-sided.

quote:

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Originally posted by ueharaa:
He's in a relationship yes, and I don't know if he was doing damage control like you said. I didn't understand it at first because I was a bit taken aback by the rudeness of it especially when what I had said was nice so I thought there was something he had misunderstood but then I realized that he had understood and was just trying to explain politely that this wasn't his case and that he couldn't be blame for my state (he thought didn't feel good) so well...

I know I've been given really great advice here. Maybe I should have not said anything but at least now it allows me to have a bit of relief. It is painful not to talk your mind and just say how you feel, yes the circumstances were not right but to be honest I've felt a little bit better these days than I did before. I mean, yes it hurts and he was kind of rude which I honestly did not appreciate. But when I say better, I mean it in a "more free" kind of way.

And I agree with this quote. That's what everyone should tell themselves but feelings follow no reason. You see I don't have a hard time usually moving on from people. I understand that things and people change, and I understand that sometimes it is better to leave people behind. But here, even with all I know, the "kinship" feeling has been difficult to shake. Even now I still don't understand how I can feel some sort of link, some sort of deeper appreciation for this person, when there is no reason for it and when I am the only one who feels it. Sometimes I do tell myself "hey you're not that crazy, you did not create this". And I did not. But well I guess I'll just have to learn to ignore it which is easier when you're the only person "seeing/feeling" it or whatever..

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