Author
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Topic: I feel like I'm cursed
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 11421 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 07, 2015 03:16 AM
In my life thus far I've always been a loser in love. I look around me and see all of my peers falling over backwards into relationships while I struggle to get a date and I can't help but feel like I'm cursed. Lord knows I've had my fair share of heartache and disappointment and I'm over it. I canceled my dating site account over a month ago and I'm no longer trying to meet any girls. I am just done. #chironinthe5thhouseIP: Logged |
LexusVirgo Knowflake Posts: 522 From: Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 07, 2015 05:52 AM
Don't give up I have Venus square Pluto exact and Venus in 12th I 've had secret love affairs, I have had crazy ppl obsessed with me and I have had unrequited love like with this guy I had the biggest crush on in class who I will never see again. I liked him but he liked someone else and it hurts.but love is amazing.. Don't give upIP: Logged |
Doux Rêve Moderator Posts: 9371 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted May 07, 2015 09:33 AM
Don't believe that you're cursed, and you won't be, aquaguy.I understand you've been through a lot of heartache and disappointments, but I can assure you that life can be surprising. It's okay to feel desperate or hopeless at times like these. Don't try to change the way you feel just yet; if you feel like you want to "wallow" a bit, then do. Just remember that it's not the end of your life, and things are bound to change. The Wheel turns. Even if you don't know it. Meanwhile, try to take care of yourself and treat yourself as well as you can. Do things that bring you pleasure and positive energy. Try to surround yourself with people who are overall positive and supportive, especially if they're single as opposed to being in a relationship (since that's a sore spot for you). Love will come, eventually, in one form or another. I believe you will find that special someone to share it with. IP: Logged |
Jo B Knowflake Posts: 798 From: London, UK with myself Registered: Feb 2014
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posted May 07, 2015 10:36 AM
Often when you stop "looking", you will find someone. Because you're more relaxed about yourself and life in general, and not putting pressure on yourself to live up to something that isn't really you.I joined Match.com in my mid 30s although I only really went on it because I was looking for someone who looked like a guy I'd really liked in real life and lost touch with. I never actually went on any dates, although I made some interesting "pen pal" relationships (well, one). I cancelled my account after a few months. Then I met someone in real life without really looking (scuba diving holiday) and stayed with him for almost 4 years. Just do things you enjoy and don't worry about getting a girl. Sometimes it's not as cracked up as you think it is anyway, being in a "relationship". IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 54249 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 08, 2015 12:26 PM
Quit looking so hard.IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 11421 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 08, 2015 07:07 PM
quote: Originally posted by Randall: Quit looking so hard.
Randall, I haven't been looking in awhile. I deleted my dating site account earlier this year and purged 90% of the women from my social networking sites and haven't looked back. I say I'm cursed because it seems like the universe likes toying with me. Every so often I'll meet a girl that seems compatible with me and it will seem like there's potential there but things will fall apart before they even get started. Meanwhile 90% of my peers fall over backwards into relationships on a regular basis. I have really been noticing that lately and have given up trying to meet women. And wouldn't you know.... As soon as I quit trying I had friends and family on my ass telling me I wasn't trying hard enough. Ain't that a kick in the teeth? So when I try I am trying too hard and when I don't try I'm not trying hard enough and I just expect a woman to come knocking on my door. No matter what I do I'm wrong. It doesn't matter what I do it's always the same result. IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 11421 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 08, 2015 07:42 PM
Randall, Do you remember a conversation we had back in late 2014? We were discussing the fact that I was turning 24 on the 24th and how it was going to be my jupiter return. You said you suspected this year would be the year when my luck finally changed. Well... It just so happens that I met a girl around my birthday and she was everything I wanted in a girl. Things were looking promising but our budding relationship ended because of a misunderstanding and she met another guy shortly thereafter and has been seeing him ever since. Initially I took it well and went on with my life and didn't let it get to me. Well.... Here recently I saw where she posted pics of her and her boyfriend on facebook and it made me depressed and angry (this is what prompted me to delete most of the women on my friends list). Her and that guy looked to be very much in love and it just served as a reminder of how much of a joke my life is. Just a few months ago I thought I was going to be that guy but it just wasn't in the cards I guess. I'm just tired of being the loser. I have been on LL since early January of 2012 and there has been alot of ups and downs in my life since then. I have changed alot and have grown as a person but one thing hasn't changed, my losing streak in dating and relationships. It started before I came to LL and persists to this day and there doesn't appear to be any end in sight . I'm just tired, really tired. IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 54249 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 09, 2015 10:42 AM
You're still 24, so who knows?IP: Logged |
PlutoSurvivor Moderator Posts: 1782 From: USA Registered: Sep 2011
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posted May 09, 2015 01:01 PM
If you were a woman choosing, would you date you as you are now, a man?Would you get what you were looking for in a relationship from you if you were dating you? I ask this because maybe you are not clear about the level of commitment you are willing or able to give to a relationship. In commitment I'm referring to receiving what you think you deserve and giving what you are currently willing to give. Be clear about what you want, and what you are willing to give and then you can relate in a way that matches who you are. Perhaps being alone right now is OK. But the only constant in life is change, so I'm sure this will change when you discover what to change. Good luck, and stay positive. IP: Logged |
Jo B Knowflake Posts: 798 From: London, UK with myself Registered: Feb 2014
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posted May 10, 2015 07:45 PM
Just a thought, maybe the fact you looking so seriously for someone compatible with you is putting them off a bit. Women like guys who are relaxed in their own bodies and not making them feel they have to live up to expectations (in the early stages when things should just be casual and fun).Next time focus more on having fun rather than looking too deeply into whether you're compatible with them or not. Being charming and flattering is fine, but often it can creep a woman out if it seems a man is measuring her up. It would for me anyway. IP: Logged |
SDragon Moderator Posts: 455 From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Registered: Sep 2012
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posted May 11, 2015 10:46 PM
I agree with Jo. I used to be so focused on finding a girlfriend that I'm sure most girls could tell I was projecting a level of neediness. Basically I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. Now that I'm 35, I'm so comfortable in my own skin that I can truly sense who I would be most compatible with. So even though I can sense that there's more girls interested in me, now it's reverse because I know what is right for me. Long story short, 24 is really still young. IP: Logged |
bansheequeen Knowflake Posts: 999 From: Beachville, USA Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 12, 2015 10:00 PM
quote: Originally posted by Jo B: Often when you stop "looking", you will find someone. Because you're more relaxed about yourself and life in general, and not putting pressure on yourself to live up to something that isn't really you.I joined Match.com in my mid 30s although I only really went on it because I was looking for someone who looked like a guy I'd really liked in real life and lost touch with. I never actually went on any dates, although I made some interesting "pen pal" relationships (well, one). I cancelled my account after a few months. Then I met someone in real life without really looking (scuba diving holiday) and stayed with him for almost 4 years. Just do things you enjoy and don't worry about getting a girl. Sometimes it's not as cracked up as you think it is anyway, being in a "relationship".
If anyone ever watches how I met your mother they say something like this haha. That you meet the one when you are totally done with dating and want to focus on yourself haha. But it's true. When you forget about finding someone, start doing the things you enjoy then the kind of people that will enjoy the same things and genuinely like you for you will gravitate towards you, rather than people are the looking to be in a relationship with anyone. Because they're bored and lonely or getting over someone else or they like the game. IP: Logged |
bansheequeen Knowflake Posts: 999 From: Beachville, USA Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 12, 2015 10:05 PM
quote: Originally posted by Jo B: Just a thought, maybe the fact you looking so seriously for someone compatible with you is putting them off a bit. Women like guys who are relaxed in their own bodies and not making them feel they have to live up to expectations (in the early stages when things should just be casual and fun).Next time focus more on having fun rather than looking too deeply into whether you're compatible with them or not. Being charming and flattering is fine, but often it can creep a woman out if it seems a man is measuring her up. It would for me anyway.
Meh what I always say to people is you shouldn't change who you are to try and attract a potential mate. Because you will be happier with someone who likes you for the real you. And sooner or later someone that actually does like you for the real you will show up. Don't waste your time on people who are only attracted to how you try to be or an illusion of who you are. IP: Logged |
Voix_de_la_Mer Knowflake Posts: 1511 From: You. Registered: Aug 2011
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posted May 13, 2015 06:47 PM
Aquaguy,As soon as I was "done", I met a kindred spirit, and fell hopelessly in love. IP: Logged |
confusedaseff Knowflake Posts: 440 From: somewhere between saturn and pluto Registered: Feb 2015
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posted May 13, 2015 09:57 PM
i have chiron in the 5th house as well and i know exactly how you feel.don't matter what we do, how we act, what we focus on or whatever. can't win. i definitely feel cursed as well :S ------------------ ------------ PLEASE DON'T QUOTE ME IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve Moderator Posts: 9371 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted May 14, 2015 03:37 PM
Oh, I have Chiron in the 5H as well.If anything, I find that the hardest part about it is actually accepting and loving myself; feeling comfortable with myself and accepting that someone might like me (and, *gasp* even love me) for who I am. (Might not be Chiron-in-the-5H-related but there you have it.) (My Chiron squares my ASC/DSC axis and SN/NN axis so that's even more depressing ) But hey, life is a journey, and sometimes it's essential to just relax and not take it all so seriously. (Says the proverbial party-pooper, hah.) I feel like a hug is needed, here. *opens arms wide* IP: Logged |
aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 11421 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 14, 2015 07:52 PM
^ aw. When did you become so mushy? IP: Logged |
Odette Moderator Posts: 5701 From: Registered: May 2012
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posted May 14, 2015 11:02 PM
quote: Meanwhile 90% of my peers fall over backwards into relationships on a regular basis.
They put up with more things than you are happy putting up with! People (your peers) who are serial monogamists - and who are constantly in a relationship.. have low (or no) standards. They would date *anyone*. Because they simply want to be in a relationship, for the ongoing -assured- sex, for the status, for whatever reason... or simply because they can't stand being alone. It's called having low self-esteem and not having a fulfilling life. If you were one of these people AG - you would still be with one of your exes today.. for example the Aquarius girl with Cancer Moon (who was extremely clingy). These "90%" of people who you believe are always in relationships.. put up with a lot of BS. If they were in your shoes... they would've put up with that Aquarius/Cancer girl! The main reason you are single is that you have standards (earth Moon!) and there are things you won't settle for. You want something real. EVERYONE who wants something real is -mostly- single throughout their lives. Because it's impossible to be in a chain of relationships with multiple people and for all of those people to be the "real" thing. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve Moderator Posts: 9371 From: Registered: Dec 2010
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posted May 15, 2015 10:02 AM
^ Good point there, Odette.There's also the fact that we often see only what we want to see. I am sure there are tons of people around you that are single just as you are, aquaguy. You're definitely not alone in this. quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: When did you become so mushy?
I always have been... lol. (Only I don't always show it. And there are times when I'm far from mushy, aight.)
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 11421 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 15, 2015 10:46 AM
quote: Originally posted by Doux Rêve: ^ Good point there, Odette.There's also the fact that we often see only what we want to see. I am sure there are tons of people around you that are single just as you are, aquaguy. You're definitely not alone in this. I always have been... lol. (Only I don't always show it. And there are times when I'm far from mushy, aight.)
Well I haven't seen it. lol
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Randall Webmaster Posts: 54249 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 15, 2015 01:19 PM
quote: Originally posted by Odette: They put up with more things than you are happy putting up with! People (your peers) who are serial monogamists - and who are constantly in a relationship.. have low (or no) standards. They would date *anyone*. Because they simply want to be in a relationship, for the ongoing -assured- sex, for the status, for whatever reason... or simply because they can't stand being alone. It's called having low self-esteem and not having a fulfilling life. If you were one of these people AG - you would still be with one of your exes today.. for example the Aquarius girl with Cancer Moon (who was extremely clingy). These "90%" of people who you believe are always in relationships.. put up with a lot of BS. If they were in your shoes... they would've put up with that Aquarius/Cancer girl! The main reason you are single is that you have standards (earth Moon!) and there are things you won't settle for. You want something real. EVERYONE who wants something real is -mostly- single throughout their lives. Because it's impossible to be in a chain of relationships with multiple people and for all of those people to be the "real" thing.
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GemBird82 Knowflake Posts: 578 From: Female bird from France Registered: Feb 2014
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posted May 15, 2015 10:08 PM
(...)~ Oh ! ! ! ~ But ... ~ I don't know if I'm getting the right 'picture' about you or if you will care(?) about what I'm going to say but... Well, better saying it, instead of keep in silence ... I guess -------------- As far as I know, you are quite an Air-packed guy, with Venus Included. -------------- Based on this. I'd say that... 'perhaps', you've been dating Air-Water gals, (since they can be easily found in dating sites). I think that... what you actually need is a Fire girl, to bring balance to that Venus of yours. The main problem is that ... I don't know how long is it going to take you... to find her. Because... maybe... before you actually 'meet' her, you are going to call her 'feminist' lol.. well, hmmm... ~ What can I say? Some gals are a bit confident, other independent, other a bit anarchic... but it doesn't really mean they are feminists lol Well, in fact Most of these... -esteroetypical- gals do have a lot instability in their lives. They might appear confident in some way. But they are way more sweet and vulnerable than they might appear to be. I can almost guarantee this. This 'profile' reminds me a lot of this character of Milla Jovovich. LeeLoo ~ it may look confident or indimitating, but in fact it's uber-tender and loving. So, imo, a Fire sign + Air Mars is what you need. ( Perhaps some water since you Air placements are going to become Pisces ). Well, I think that would be all. ~ Good Night ~
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aquaguy91 Moderator Posts: 11421 From: Wankety Wankerson Registered: Jan 2012
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posted May 16, 2015 07:45 PM
Gembird82, I have no problem with women that are outspoken and confident. H*LL, I've been waiting to meet such a woman. I don't think feminism has anything to do with those qualities.IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 54249 From: Saturn next to Charmaine Registered: Apr 2009
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posted May 17, 2015 04:33 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: Gembird82, I have no problem with women that are outspoken and confident. H*LL, I've been waiting to meet such a woman. I don't think feminism has anything to do with those qualities.
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Londongirl8 Knowflake Posts: 104 From: London Registered: Dec 2012
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posted May 21, 2015 03:15 PM
quote: Originally posted by aquaguy91: In my life thus far I've always been a loser in love. I look around me and see all of my peers falling over backwards into relationships while I struggle to get a date and I can't help but feel like I'm cursed. Lord knows I've had my fair share of heartache and disappointment and I'm over it. I canceled my dating site account over a month ago and I'm no longer trying to meet any girls. I am just done. #chironinthe5thhouse
I'm Aquarius and I can't say I've had much luck with men but it's when I stopped looking that I met my current boyfriend of 2.5 years. He's Aquarius too and although he's the most frustrating man I have ever met he has his good points. Just relax and focus on being happy and content with yourself and the right person will come along when they're supposed to
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