posted March 20, 2016 01:49 PM            

So I'll just get to the story. The first time I fell in love with someone was when I was 18 and naive. I felt an immediate connection with him. Like a soul union. We use to philosophize a out stuff like that all the time. Our "friendship" revolved around philosophy and his heart break of his ex - a leo. He also wanted to hear everything I had to say astrology wise that might apply to his heartbreak.

Meanwhile I was unrequiantedly in love with him. However; he pushed the limited that true friends arnt supposed to cross. But like i said i was niave and just hoping he'd love me back. I "lost it" to him. He promised wed stay friends. But then I did that thing where I obsessedly tried calling him etc. And he'd ignore me.

Eventually he reach back out to me here and there. Always filling me in on the lastest of his love life. Disappeared and reappear. Occasionally turning it into a feb night and disappear again.

I was in love with him and had him on a pedestal for 7 years!!! I tried not to love him. Tried dating other people. Thinking when ever hed contact me that I wouldn't let him off the hook ...that I'd finally get answers to some of my questions. Such as what did I mean to him,really. Was I just a **** buddy?

Even though there were times when he genuinely wanted my advice. When all hed want to do is talk or watch a movie or go for a drive. Hed take me out of town with him sometimes he even selfless helped me learn to drive.

The last time i heard from him in 2012 I decided I had enough. Enough of the games. Ebough of being a substitute and ready to move on.

And I did. Gueniunely moved on. Fell in love. Jhave been in a healthy relationship for three years. I did run into the cancer in question a couple times during the first year of our relationship. But made those encounters are ahort as possible.

Now 4 years after the last time he called, he called again. Disrupting my equalibrium. Forcing me to wonder yet again....what is this between us?

Is he just a master minipulator. Or does he actually care about me.

So he called and I wasnt 100% sure it was him. I thought it could be my bf. But I also thought it could be him. They have the same area code and I just thought the number looked familar and I dont have my bf # memorized. Because who memorizes telephone numbers anymore? And just thought it could be a glitch that his picturr didnt show up etc. Now I realize I should have listened to the panic in my body about who it really was.

We ended up talking on the phone for 2-3 hours. One of the first things he wanted to talk about or ask me was if he ever hurt me, if if still consider him a friend. He said me and him will always be friends for ever. He wondered why i never tried contacting him. And he kinda turned the tables on me. Sating hoe much he cared about me. About how he always called me back when I called him (which is certainly not how i remember it) etc.

posted March 22, 2016 01:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Did he reply?

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Not immediately. I'd say 29 hours later. He called again in the middle of the night (like before). I didnt answer. Then texted. First saying he could return my books (an astrology book). Then wishing me the best.

I felt like he was just using the book to get back in touch. And I'm not sure how sincere the goodbye was.

I'm trying not to think about it too much. I know cutting ties is the right thing to do and I should feel good about it. But I'm having a hard time feeling good about it :/

posted April 15, 2016 01:06 AM            

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Originally posted by Vajra:
To me it sounds as if he's had plenty chanches to get closer to you in the past and still, for reasons best known to him, chose not to. Pining over a guy for so many years is really too long and not healthy, no matter who it is, so please take care not to let this past thing upset what you have now.

It sure sounds as if he genuinely values you as a friend in his life to lean on, but maybe he always specifically remembers you when he feels low, and needs your support for a while, before then hooking up with someone else?

Take care not to let him unconsciously take advantage of you. It's entirely possible he'll pursue you harder when you're taken, but that's not exactly great either, given your long history. As a true friend, he should neither take you for granted nor find you more attractive when you're not free - both are not "friendly" behaviors, but smell more like an ego trip.

If it's too confusing for you to sort things out with him in the picture, I'd recommend 'no contact' until you're done thinking. Think hard how you want the terms of your relationship with him to be, and tell him up front. You'll see by his reaction where he's coming from. Hopefully he'll understand, and genuinely want the best for you; but watch out for any signs of entitledness or manipulation.

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This:

quote:

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Originally posted by Vajra:
To me it sounds as if he's had plenty chanches to get closer to you in the past and still, for reasons best known to him, chose not to.

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