posted February 24, 2022 10:30 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by GypseeWind:
Your story caught my eye because mine is nearly the same.
I lost someone five years ago too. He came out of the blue. He was my vertex guy.
Not my physical type at all, and lived at some distance. But life is weird, and I fell for him, hard.

He stopped communicating with me after a weekend visit. Literally just shut the door on the whole thing with zero explanation.

I thought I was going to lose it.
I didn't want to get out of bed, or eat, or anything. The same old "love sick" symptoms many people get.
I was still able to see his FB, and I watched him meet someone else. They seemed so happy.

Then she was gone, poof.

And he met someone else, and WOW, they seem so happy.
And then she was gone.

FOUR of them in five years, not to mention his side chicks. You know how you can just tell when two people have been intimate by the way they comment to each other's FB.

It got to the point where I couldn't stand myself. I was making my own self sick. It had to stop.

An old 90s movie I watched and loved had a saying that I never forgot, and it's this:
"The cure for melancholy is industry."
I finally accepted I wasn't going to get closure from him, so I'd get it from myself.

First thing I did was leave Facebook. My cyber stalking was keeping me in the energy of despair. It had to go.

Then I burned everything except one photo. I put it all in my firepit with some crunchy fall leaves, some lighter fluid, and a good amount of tears. WHOOSHHH! gone.

Then I did a ritual where I wrote all my feelings for him, good and bad, and rolled up the paper, and placed it into a bottle. I put the cork in the bottle and sealed it shut with blue candle wax. Blue is good for healing. While the candle was lit, I let myself think of the things we'd done together.. and I wished him well. I threw the bottle into the river. [I hate any type of littering but since I regularly pick up litter I thought... just this once..]

I removed his number from my phone, and eventually got a new phone & number.

The dreams still kept coming though. I just let them. Once in awhile I'd tell my BFF what he's doing in my dreams, and what he'd say... but nothing like I did at the start.

So I guess I just forced myself to do *something* because doing nothing made me feel so powerless.

And guess what happened? A month ago he moved to my town. He hunted me down, and asked me if it was too late. And I said yes. Of course I wanted to take him back. But when people treat you this way, they show you what you're worth to them. I want to be worth more. Because I'm worth more to myself, than to be someone's fling... sidepeice...Fk buddy...even "girlfriend." I saw how important "girlfriend's" are to him. He changes them more often than I change my air filters.

So, I. FEEL. YOU. I know what it's like. I still have bad days and maybe I always will. But he's not worth sabotaging your life's happiness. You just have this one life to live. Find some small thing that brings you joy, and focus on it. More things will come to you, I promise, when you lift yourself up out of the energy of lacking.

---