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Author Topic:   How does one move on from such a strong connection?
sc0rpioRising
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From: somewhere!
Registered: Nov 2011

posted January 08, 2019 05:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sc0rpioRising     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had a connection with someone 5 years ago - it was real - intense - painful - but had a lot of growth from it - and I think about him everyday since he left; I also havenít seen of heard from him and he has stopped all communication

I came across a picture of him recently and he has met someone else - he looks so happy and smitten and just content - although I wish him all the happiness I canít help but feel defeated/used/like I meant nothing.

How do I move on from this? I thought I had until I saw the picture. From the picture it looks as if he has found his true soul mate - and I feel like a plain old karmic one - which he would rather forget. I feel so sad and empty.

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Randall
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From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
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posted January 09, 2019 02:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You never truly move on. You just learn to deal with it.

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DRVM614K
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From: Tugsten Depths Province, SA
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posted January 09, 2019 03:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DRVM614K     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
transmute those energies into other endeavors. doesn't have to be another romantic relationship.

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Randall
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posted January 27, 2019 07:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Randall
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posted January 28, 2019 12:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by DRVM614K:
transmute those energies into other endeavors. doesn't have to be another romantic relationship.

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LuckyLeo
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posted February 01, 2019 12:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LuckyLeo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am so sorry and I understand! I am in a similar boat. I don't know the details of your relationship but I still would like to share a few thoughts.

You said you feel used and like you meant nothing to him. If this is true then you are much, much better off without him in your life. If it was truly one-sided, then the connection you felt with him was probably more about something you needed to learn through him. Moving on may be easier if you figure out what those lessons are.
And next time you can save your affection for someone who cares about you in return.

However I hope it's not true - in which case, keep reminding yourself that the relationship had meaning to the both of you. Just because he looks happy in pictures doesn't mean he has forgotten you. That's impossible to do if you truly cared about someone, in my opinion.

Either way, it's hard and I wish you the best

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aamhz
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posted February 01, 2019 05:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for aamhz     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Everything that happens is as it should. Life might seem sucky now with him gone, hope/prospect-less (i.e. like nothing will ever match it), etc, but think of you two separating as your "Soul's desire" being that you were done with him, learned from him all your Soul wanted, etc. Your "Earthly desire/Self" might still want him, but your Soul has decided its purpose is to move on to something else/after.


I also am torn up seeing past lover's being happy with new partners, exact same feel as you described. Might be a Scorpio/Pluto thing.

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Aries23Degrees
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From: South Africa
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posted February 08, 2019 11:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aries23Degrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by sc0rpioRising:
I had a connection with someone 5 years ago - it was real - intense - painful - but had a lot of growth from it - and I think about him everyday since he left; I also havenít seen of heard from him and he has stopped all communication

I came across a picture of him recently and he has met someone else - he looks so happy and smitten and just content - although I wish him all the happiness I canít help but feel defeated/used/like I meant nothing.

How do I move on from this? I thought I had until I saw the picture. From the picture it looks as if he has found his true soul mate - and I feel like a plain old karmic one - which he would rather forget. I feel so sad and empty.


Relationships that are painful but have a lot of growth have a profound effect on us because they paint a veryvivid picture of who we really really are.

Its like you have been "dead" for long or living a mundane existence for so long etc.that when someone comes along to jar you out of that rut, you discover you have a pulse.

It can indeed be very addictive and can feel like a rebirth to life: Strong vibrant feelings, senses and thoughts. Where have you been all my life? Etc.

Now separating from that person can feel like an addict being separated from their "fix". Very very hard and extremely painful. So its better to do it slowly and gradually than "cold turkey".

You need closure. To find a neutral place from which to operate from. Not this sense pain level that you plugged into. So i think you can make contact and ask to friends. Get communication going from that point.

I am so familiar with this. Its more contextual i assure you. It does get better.

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ballerina
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From: A Place on Earth
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posted February 08, 2019 01:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ballerina     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aries23Degrees,

I very much agree with
what you wrote

Learning and Growing!

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone/Emeraldopal

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ballerina
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From: A Place on Earth
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posted February 08, 2019 08:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ballerina     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'd like to add that
soul pieces can move
from one body temple
to another, til all
7 pieces are Re-United
in one body temple,
the 7 fold spirit...

Truth is, we have never
been separated from the
Other Half of us, it's
an ILLusion, our oversouls
in Heaven are happy and
content, living through
us...

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone/Emeraldopal

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Randall
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Posts: 132641
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
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posted March 13, 2019 10:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Randall
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From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
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posted April 13, 2019 12:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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LuckyLeo
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Posts: 92
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Registered: Dec 2011

posted April 13, 2019 05:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LuckyLeo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ballerina:
I'd like to add that
soul pieces can move
from one body temple
to another, til all
7 pieces are Re-United
in one body temple,
the 7 fold spirit...

Truth is, we have never
been separated from the
Other Half of us, it's
an ILLusion, our oversouls
in Heaven are happy and
content, living through
us...


Ballerina, I'm curious about what you wrote about the seven soul pieces...can you explain more?

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ballerina
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From: A Place on Earth
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posted April 13, 2019 07:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ballerina     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
First, our souls were a11
created in pairs..

Once in human body, and much
time and lives past, the karma
became too much to balance,
and one could not possibly atone
in one life or several..
To help this move along, God
created the 7 fold spirit, so
we could be in more than one
body temple at a time to balance
our karma/\actions...
We have to attain these 7 pieces
for our soul to be whole..
So..each has 7 pieces, a pair
14..the number of pieces of
Osiris, that Isis found...

Feel free to ask me anything,
especially if that didn't make
sense...

------------------
All my love, with all my Heart
lotusheartone/Emeraldopal

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LuckyLeo
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posted April 16, 2019 04:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LuckyLeo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for explaining. I do have a question....I am wondering how we go about attaining the 7 pieces?

I will create a new thread on this, so that we don't disrupt scorpiorising's thread

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Randall
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posted May 18, 2019 07:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Randall
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posted June 05, 2019 09:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Bump!

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Randall
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posted June 21, 2019 11:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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Randall
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posted December 17, 2019 04:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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sugarflapjacks
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posted December 27, 2019 03:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Maybe it isn't finished.

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Randall
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posted January 11, 2020 06:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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Mystic~Melody
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From: Lindaland over 15 years
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posted January 14, 2020 04:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic~Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
When I read your original post I wanted to say that you needed "closure" in a way too. I see Aries said that so I will expound. I have a friend who went through something similar and I told her to just allow all of the love and share it with him, no matter what his feelings might be for her in the past or currently. This isn't kind given his current situation, so you will have to do it alone. Like writing it all out in a letter or email you never send.
My friend was still in the first month or two of separation from him when she took my advice and he came running back. I told her when I first gave her the advice that no matter what she did, DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. Until he gave her a wedding ring and she felt his intentions were true. She slept with him anyway, they had been living together as a married couple for years before this separation. He then immediately began behaving badly and reeled back in some girl he had been being shady with in the first place causing the initial separation. Good news is this gave her the closure she needed to stop pining over him and ruining the dates she had been having with people she met on a dating site. Those guys weren't exactly right or were all wrong so no loss there, but when she had her closure it changed something in her and after she went through all of her angry feelings she came out the other side stronger and more herself and found a really great guy. She's been travelling all over with him and when I visited her at Christmastime he was there living with her and watching chick flicks with her in red Christmas pjs. She is very happy and so glad she dodged the bullet of being bound to that first guy for life.
Rewind to a year ago and she would have never believed it would happen.

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Mystic~Melody
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posted January 14, 2020 05:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic~Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
And if he IS your person, he will be back to you when the time is right. I should say, when The Time is Right. Meaning when your souls chose it to happen or when The Universe ordains it to Be So. It could be a long road though. Sometimes that long road is SO worth it. If you read my thread about being in love with my best friend, you will understand what I mean.

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Randall
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posted February 08, 2020 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
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GypseeWind
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posted February 27, 2020 08:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your story caught my eye because mine is nearly the same.
I lost someone five years ago too. He came out of the blue. He was my vertex guy.
Not my physical type at all, and lived at some distance. But life is weird, and I fell for him, hard.

He stopped communicating with me after a weekend visit. Literally just shut the door on the whole thing with zero explanation.

I thought I was going to lose it.
I didn't want to get out of bed, or eat, or anything. The same old "love sick" symptoms many people get.
I was still able to see his FB, and I watched him meet someone else. They seemed so happy.

Then she was gone, poof.

And he met someone else, and WOW, they seem so happy.
And then she was gone.

FOUR of them in five years, not to mention his side chicks. You know how you can just tell when two people have been intimate by the way they comment to each other's FB.

It got to the point where I couldn't stand myself. I was making my own self sick. It had to stop.

An old 90s movie I watched and loved had a saying that I never forgot, and it's this:
"The cure for melancholy is industry."
I finally accepted I wasn't going to get closure from him, so I'd get it from myself.

First thing I did was leave Facebook. My cyber stalking was keeping me in the energy of despair. It had to go.

Then I burned everything except one photo. I put it all in my firepit with some crunchy fall leaves, some lighter fluid, and a good amount of tears. WHOOSHHH! gone.

Then I did a ritual where I wrote all my feelings for him, good and bad, and rolled up the paper, and placed it into a bottle. I put the cork in the bottle and sealed it shut with blue candle wax. Blue is good for healing. While the candle was lit, I let myself think of the things we'd done together.. and I wished him well. I threw the bottle into the river. [I hate any type of littering but since I regularly pick up litter I thought... just this once..]

I removed his number from my phone, and eventually got a new phone & number.

The dreams still kept coming though. I just let them. Once in awhile I'd tell my BFF what he's doing in my dreams, and what he'd say... but nothing like I did at the start.

So I guess I just forced myself to do *something* because doing nothing made me feel so powerless.

And guess what happened? A month ago he moved to my town. He hunted me down, and asked me if it was too late. And I said yes. Of course I wanted to take him back. But when people treat you this way, they show you what you're worth to them. I want to be worth more. Because I'm worth more to myself, than to be someone's fling... sidepeice...Fk buddy...even "girlfriend." I saw how important "girlfriend's" are to him. He changes them more often than I change my air filters.

So, I. FEEL. YOU. I know what it's like. I still have bad days and maybe I always will. But he's not worth sabotaging your life's happiness. You just have this one life to live. Find some small thing that brings you joy, and focus on it. More things will come to you, I promise, when you lift yourself up out of the energy of lacking.

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