posted September 17, 2011 08:16 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You are low in water, too. When I see low in water, I feel sad. I love water. To me ,the hardest void would be water.

What is your relationship with water/feelings/crying /emotions
I have an earth void.This is the easiest,I think.
It still is a little freaky cuz I don't feel very grounded.

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It's not actually that bad, I have a lot of aspects that I feel help me in the sensitivity department. I did suffer with the difficulty of full expressing my emotions because I felt they were messy and would just annoy other people more than anything but trust me, there are a lot of emotions going on here lol.
I think the reason why I have such difficulty with expressing the way I feel is because of just how intense my emotions can be. I am actually very compassion and feel a lot of love for other people. I think I love more deeply than most people. I think it may stem from Venus in 12th? Maybe? I'm not sure. Overall my chart doesn't appear to be of someone who is emotional but that's not true. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before or not... but transiting Neptune is conjunct my natal Moon at I think 0-1 deg right now and I have been an emotional wreck. For the good and the bad. I'm starting to tune into my emotions and let them flow freely, even if people think I am being a baby haha. In fact, my boyfriend said to me the other day when I cried over another persons problems "what the hell has gotten into you? whered all this crying start coming from?" lol that's because I seem so tough and held together even my boyfriend, who I am closest to than anyone else in my life, was surprised.

posted September 17, 2011 08:21 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Venus in 12th square Pluto in 2nd

Your venus is prolly your hardest part of your chart. We discussed this before. It makes you very raw and feeling the desire to hide under the bed ,rather than deal with how raw you can feel in love relationships. Is this summarized ,right?

Pluto in the 2nd shows lots of ups and downs in life, materially.

I would put these together to say that perhaps material deprivations have made it scarier for you to be real and open with your loving nature.

Also,do you feel you have to choose between money and love?
I would pose that as being what the square may represent.Do you feel you cannot have both.
Does life seem to polarize you that way?

You and I are BOTH learning about houses,so this is a great way to do it.

That would be my supposition. You feel you cannot have love and money,at the same time.Somehow, this division arises,again and again.

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No worries about the mistake, it helped actually as my boyfriend has Pluto in 2nd. Material ups and downs really make a lot of sense forhim. What would you think it does to the self worth? He's got a lot of issues in that respect.

quote:

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Your venus is prolly your hardest part of your chart. We discussed this before. It makes you very raw and feeling the desire to hide under the bed ,rather than deal with how raw you can feel in love relationships. Is this summarized ,right?

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posted September 17, 2011 08:28 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Jup in 12th oppose the moon in 6 in Aqua.

This may be your philosophy of life is hard to grasp. You are TOO mystical and not practical enough with your spiritual and philosophical ways of viewing life.
Does this fit?

Your moon is a frozen moon at 29 degrees. Your emotions can seem frozen in place, not fluid to feel as emotions do.
Do you feel very stuck,inside?

So, your philosophy may be too other worldly. You want to be of service, to do things for people outside your small world but you feel frozen.

That is how I would describe this.

What do you think?

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Wow, yes that is completely accurate. My Aqua hates to admit it! Haha, but no that is so true. That's what I mean about needing to find balance. I have two completely different sides of myself and I have difficulty understanding those differences and melding them together.
I do feel stuck sometimes. Sometimes I ignore and hide my pain and sadness away from everyone, including myself, that later on down the road it all hits me at once out of completely no where and I start to have an anxiety attack and feel terrified from absolutely no reason (as it seems).
Honestly the best advice I could give any body is to be true to yourself and let things flow. It is absolutely horrifying to go through that and have no idea why. You push it back so far to the point that you forget that it was there in the first place.

Sometimes I forget where I am almost. Like I do not belong here. I feel so different from everyone I scare myself at times. I have been getting better though, like I said, and I have recognized what is causing it and working on it.

The mind is the most dangerous tool. It can be your worst enemy if you don't gain control.

Couldn't say it enough, astrology has helped save my life in a sense. Made me comfortable and sure of myself.

posted September 17, 2011 08:39 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
You got a bunch of stuff going on from Mars in the 2nd to planets in the 5th. This seems like it would be the struggle between practical and fun.
Is this a huge struggle? Do you feel like you MUST be practical before you can have fun, but you want to have fun.

I think you mentioned the not saving money but spending it all on "fun".

These house placements would show that struggle, I think.

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It is definitely a struggle. I'll try to explain.

Ever since I moved out of my parents house, my boyfriend and I, instead of getting our own home, moved in with his grandparents to take care of them and their home then pay them rent and buy the groceries. Basically the exact same as having our own place but with twice the obligation.
I work 5-6 sometimes 7 days a week, do all the shopping, clean and cook when I get home. You know, pretty well everything anyone else has to do except I have to keep an eye on elderly people. We have to make sure they are eating properly, taking their meds and staying hygienic of course. His grandmother is on a lot of heavy drugs for her condition and is rarely ever coherent so we have to keep a close eye on her to make sure she's not doing anything stupid. I barely get sleep at night because of all the times she falls out of bed and smokes her head off the floor.

I am just turning 20 in a few days. I should be going to school like I want to and get my career on the go, and going out and having fun on the weekends. But realistically I think of how these people need us and it is my responsibility. It would be foolish and selfish of me to go out and spend a few ours drinking coffee and talking with my friends. Or go on a road trip for a few days.
I know it is not really my job but there is noone else to do it and they dont deserve to get put in a home. I want them to be able to pass on, happy and in their home they've worked so hard to have.

It wont kill me to take care of someone else and put my life on hold for a while. But I love to have fun and I love my freedom. I love traveling and exploring. I want to have fun but I get scared of what the consequences will be.

posted September 17, 2011 08:42 PM            

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
I am mixing myself up. I am writing to you on two threads lol

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Haha! I know it can get confusing sometimes.

posted September 17, 2011 08:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Ami Anne:
Yes, the 12th house planet is just raw and much,much harder to endure intimacy,which is hard for anyone.

I think you have to run 100 miles for someone else running ten as far as fear of intimacy but I think it is a gut level dear,not a head level. Am I right?

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posted September 20, 2011 04:21 AM            

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Originally posted by Soothsayer:
Wow, yes that is completely accurate. My Aqua hates to admit it! Haha, but no that is so true. That's what I mean about needing to find balance. I have two completely different sides of myself and I have difficulty understanding those differences and melding them together.
I do feel stuck sometimes. Sometimes I ignore and hide my pain and sadness away from everyone, including myself, that later on down the road it all hits me at once out of completely no where and I start to have an anxiety attack and feel terrified from absolutely no reason (as it seems).
Honestly the best advice I could give any body is to be true to yourself and let things flow. It is absolutely horrifying to go through that and have no idea why. You push it back so far to the point that you forget that it was there in the first place.

Sometimes I forget where I am almost. Like I do not belong here. I feel so different from everyone I scare myself at times. I have been getting better though, like I said, and I have recognized what is causing it and working on it.

The mind is the most dangerous tool. It can be your worst enemy if you don't gain control.

Couldn't say it enough, astrology has helped save my life in a sense. Made me comfortable and sure of myself.

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Everything that I said above...do you think this is solely influenced by my Moon or are there other factors weighing in?