posted May 25, 2014 01:38 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by littlecloud:
I totally agree with this. At 18 you can go get married, join the army, but can't drink. I find it illogical. And yes, nature nature is violent, in regards to animals it's a bit more logical. They will compete for mates and if it comes to physically fighting their own species they avoid killing each other because it makes no sense to. In humans we've completely screwed up the situation. We claim intelligence over all the animal kingdom yet we destroy each other and our resources any chance we get.

Living under a constant threat of violence every time we get into an argument is not healthy. It'll create a constant surge of adrenaline and cortisol which would limit our bodily functions preventing us from eventually mating and bringing up our young. Which is the complete opposite of what Nature wants. If we were to do this we would die out as a species very quickly.

---

I think you missed my point about turning 18

If everyone ended every personal relationship at the first instance of violence, we'd also die out very quickly.

Humans compete for mates. Animals do not avoid killing each other.

I don't know where you did your study on anthropology or psychology, but the info in your response is just... Well... Wrong. Cortisol saves lives also. If you're stressed , it helps you store fat so you don't starve, but this is about OPs problem, not our personal brands of human behavior and psychoanalytics

posted May 25, 2014 01:50 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LoadedPistil:
Ok. Agree to disagree. Children aren't the only ones that fight. That's what armies are for. It's some ridiculous brainwash the we teach children that violence isn't the answer until they turn 18. And sharing. More nonsense.

Violence happens in life. It's not even human nature. It's nature nature.

---

I don't see comparison between the army, fighting in a war and being in a loving relationship with your partner.

And even in army there are rules, choking a person or biting your own soldiers out of anger would have had consequences.

Also - most of my friends went to the army at age 18, the amount of violence they used - Zero. Just because one has to go to the army doesn't mean they use violence...

posted May 25, 2014 02:11 AM            

Yes, I may have missed your point about turning 18. In any case anyone that resorts to choking and throwing someone around during an argument over laundry likely has issues of their own that need to be addressed. Resorting to violence to solve a problem never fully solves it. There is no understanding or growth this way. No compassion. You allow someone to explode and put their hands on you once, they'll do it repeatedly. Then what? Where does the relationship go?

posted May 25, 2014 02:18 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by littlecloud:
I study biology. I'm very well aware of what animals and nature do, I just didn't see the need to go into detail so as a result may not have articulated myself well.

Yes, I may have missed your point about turning 18. In any case anyone that resorts to choking and throwing someone around during an argument over laundry likely has issues of their own that need to be addressed. Resorting to violence to solve a problem never fully solves it. There is no understanding or growth this way. No compassion. You allow someone to explode and put their hands on you once, they'll do it repeatedly. Then what? Where does the relationship go?

I wish I ended my relationship at the first hint of violence. I would rather kill mysf than endure that all over again.

---

Many problems around the world have been solved with violence. You can paint a portrait of flowers and puppies, but facts are facts. Period. Again. This is about OP, not you.

posted May 25, 2014 02:20 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by St@r2013:
I don't see comparison between the army, fighting in a war and being in a loving relationship with your partner.

And even in army there are rules, choking a person or biting your own soldiers out of anger would have had consequences.

Also - most of my friends went to the army at age 18, the amount of violence they used - Zero. Just because one has to go to the army doesn't mean they use violence...

If anyone would had put his hands on me and treated me like some punching bag, it would have been the last time he'd seen me... But that's just me... I wouldn't have stayed around to find excuses where such behavior is acceptable... Ummm not with me ... But each to their own

---

If you can't see the analogy, I can't help you. Never seen a parent chastise a child? Is that not a loving relationship? Why is everyone living in a fantasy world. I see why government is so selective of who gets the job.

posted May 25, 2014 02:45 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LoadedPistil:
If you can't see the analogy, I can't help you. Never seen a parent chastise a child? Is that not a loving relationship? Why is everyone living in a fantasy world. I see why government is so selective of who gets the job.

---

Yeah I've seen parents beat their children because of anger issues - loving relationship it's not. I volunteered at a youth center - the stories there of "loving" parents beating their children are many...

Got a 3 year old nephew where we teach him not to use violence and we never use violence on him.

And since when is my partner suppose to be my parent? he is my equal not someone to beat me around when he is upset... this is not a case of - wow I feel like crap let me take my anger on you and hurt you because I can.

We obviously have different approaches to loving relationship. Again talking about ME I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where my partner hurts me physically because he's angry and it saddens me to see women (and men) who think its a normal way of living... It's not love.

And I responded the same way as if the op was my friend, little cousin or sister - wouldn't want anyone to go back to a violent guy because next time he might not stop at choking and biting.

But I'll end this here... Different opinions each to their own

posted May 25, 2014 02:50 AM            

Double edit.

Chastise in what way and under what circumstances? A light slap on the wrist? A spanking? There is a very thin line between chastisement and abuse. Between using this method as a way to teach morals and teaching children to obey your commands.

Anytime I was "chastised" or yelled at as a child I never felt loved or cared for. Most of the time I didn't understand what I had done wrong or why it was wrong. All I learned was how to act like a puppet so that I pleased whoever was in charge. What did that teach me? How to make sure not to get someone angry and do as they wish. It taught dependency rather then self-sufficiency and self-knowledge. It taught to obey and not understand or even to think for myself. It turns victims into yesmen and they either break they cycle or continue to teach their young the same thing.

The family member that "chastised" me the most finally realized after about 20 years the consequences of their actions. That our relationship will not be the one they wanted, because I cannot trust them.

posted May 25, 2014 07:45 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by St@r2013:
Yeah I've seen parents beat their children because of anger issues - loving relationship it's not. I volunteered at a youth center - the stories there of "loving" parents beating their children are many...

Got a 3 year old nephew where we teach him not to use violence and we never use violence on him.

And since when is my partner suppose to be my parent? he is my equal not someone to beat me around when he is upset... this is not a case of - wow I feel like crap let me take my anger on you and hurt you because I can.

We obviously have different approaches to loving relationship. Again talking about ME I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where my partner hurts me physically because he's angry and it saddens me to see women (and men) who think its a normal way of living... It's not love.

And I responded the same way as if the op was my friend, little cousin or sister - wouldn't want anyone to go back to a violent guy because next time he might not stop at choking and biting.

But I'll end this here... Different opinions each to their own

---

posted May 25, 2014 07:49 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by littlecloud:
Edit. Will come back to this later.

Double edit.

Chastise in what way and under what circumstances? A light slap on the wrist? A spanking? There is a very thin line between chastisement and abuse. Between using this method as a way to teach morals and teaching children to obey your commands.

Anytime I was "chastised" or yelled at as a child I never felt loved or cared for. Most of the time I didn't understand what I had done wrong or why it was wrong. All I learned was how to act like a puppet so that I pleased whoever was in charge. What did that teach me? How to make sure not to get someone angry and do as they wish. It taught dependency rather then self-sufficiency and self-knowledge. It taught to obey and not understand or even to think for myself. It turns victims into yesmen and they either break they cycle or continue to teach their young the same thing.

The family member that "chastised" me the most finally realized after about 20 years the consequences of their actions. That our relationship will not be the one they wanted, because I cannot trust them.

Where does the line get drawn? Because being choked, bitten, and thrown around a room like a rag is not chastisement. It's not communication when someone can't understand you're angry until you physically hurt them. He could've walked out of the room to cool down and come back to explain why he was angry. Instead he chose this route, and ended the relationship, that until then seemed to be rather happy. Where, in any of this, did both parties feel happy or loved?

---

I ANY way. And again, if we peel apart every single relationship at the first sign of violence, we would also die out. Suzy hit Sally. Put her up for adoption. That's it. She doesn't love her.
And I do NOT believe that line is very fine at all. I, too, was abused as a child, but when I set the kitchen on fire, I took that whooping and hushed.

posted May 25, 2014 07:57 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by LoadedPistil:
[/b]

---

[/B][/QUOTE]

posted May 25, 2014 08:18 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by St@r2013:
I'll make sure to teach my nephew to toughen up so that one day he can bash his girlfriend - like a real man... because nothing shows real love like a good punch in the eye...

---

Good for you

posted May 25, 2014 10:31 AM            

In the end u will be the one who chooses to walk away.

Im worried for my daughter. She is only 5 1/2. If a man ever lays on her i will murder him.

posted May 25, 2014 02:40 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Bby_Scorpio:
@Jerseyshore- I agree with you as well, I just don't take much consideration in people's advice who don't really know the whole story and only seeing a bird's eye view. And at the same time, I pretty much knew how this thread would go with people up in arms. I just was simply trying to get a astrological insight since this is an astrology website and trying to further my knowledge through my experiences. But I digress .. thank you very much for the hugs and support.

---

And had you read through each of my posts you would have seen how I suggested you post both natal charts.