posted July 12, 2016 09:42 PM
Forgetting the past is a skill...Staying present is a discipline, it takes practice, it's not easy or as simple as it sounds.
In some ways it's almost like becoming a new person, when you just drop your ego and let spirit take over. You sever all those ropes that tie you to the past, for as long as you are staying present.
I don't mean to keep recommending outside resources but I don't know where I would be without Eckhart Tolle. In particular, his lectures on the "pain body" have given me an understanding of how we feed pain with more pain...and why we do that. Though, it's nothing to judge...we all do this sometimes. And if your Cancer Venus is getting hit by Pluto, it's just no wonder that you are in a dark place. But it's not a hopeless place because you have all the inner resources you need to pull everything together.
Recalibrate. How can we do that? How to create a new inner atmosphere, with a stronger "captain" in charge of our destiny? I do some things that make me feel differently than before. Tai Chi, for me, is one of those things. My energy shifts and I feel so different...subtle difference but with my awareness on it, it's actually a big deal. Here I am being born again energetically. Here I am creating a new self.
And I think of it like, parting the waves in front of us. The waves are all the obstacles we are foreseeing. We need to open a path. Energetically, we can send "wind" forwards, in the form of happy dreams, happy beliefs about our capabilities, our ability to grow to live on a scale that life is apparently demanding of us...all of this makes like a wind tunnel through the sea of obstacles.
We are resource-minded: I have this, this, and this. Not deficiency-minded, because that increases the mental obstacles. Yeah we can eye them like peripheral issues, but they are not front and center. That is the free open space we, with all our increasing strengths, are moving through. And we get stronger every day, invest in ourselves consistently, and it's going to pay off. Sometimes people feel trapped by their circumstances, as if too many people NEED them to be this and that, and there is no place for them to be themselves. But we have to make room for ourselves, now and in the future. Clear that path in the future. Take care of yourself and your daughter can follow on that path, too. Be selfish.
If we think our inner work might not pay off, we won't bother getting stronger. We're holding kyptonite then. We have to drop the kryptonite and just build strength.
I understand where you are coming from with your daughter and how responsible you feel, and how heavy the responsibilities are. Just remember she is a complete blessing. Eckhart Tolle says, "Accept everything that happens to you as if you had chosen it. This will transform your life." That is actually the craziest advice, but it makes you very comfortable within yourself, like HEY, I AM THE DRIVER and I AM A DAMN GOOD DRIVER, YES I AM. Love your tragedies. Bless your pain. Move forwards all the time. Maybe it won't look the way you envisioned, but as long as you have inner peace about it, it can be more than what you hoped for.
You know?
I feel like a hypocrite giving pep talks to you, but this is just what I tell myself, when I am psyching myself up. "You are strong, centered, and at peace. You trust yourself. So NOTHING can bulldoze you."
Yes, we'll just become new again.
I hear you about your strained finances. I hope that your daughter's father is paying his fair share. And maybe government assistance is available until you get fully back on your feet? And maybe you will make friends with someone who can swap babysitting hours with you, where don't have to pay anything, you can just trade times.
Yes it's hard NOW but just think of it like, you are in the thickest, worst part, and still managing everything, and congratulate yourself, and prepare to say goodbye to this hard time. Pack your bags. You can't stay here.
As for Uranus:
Mine's @ 6 Scorpio, IC 25 or 26 Libra, if my chart is right. Uranus square Aqua Mercury and Leo Saturn.
"tUranus will be in your 10th during your Uranus opposition, right? it should be a very exciting and revolutionary time for your career!"
Thank you and I hope so! For both of us!
Your own t-square looks hard. ((hug)) But we can all lift up out of our charts, I really think so. Thanks for talking with me. 
Lindaland
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posted July 12, 2016 09:42 PM
posted July 12, 2016 09:44 PM
posted July 27, 2016 12:06 PM
and in my personal opinion that guy loves his wife.