posted June 27, 2016 05:20 PM            

1) the first question, I can't articulate---it's about something strange that happened to me, I think in the spiritual/psychic realm. But I don't even know how to articulate the realm. So I guess I'm just asking if anything comes up for you on this, anything at all, no matter how weird.

posted June 27, 2016 06:33 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lucia23:
I have two questions---I felt drawn to post them here to see if anyone feels drawn to answer or gets/picks up something for me about my situation.

1) the first question, I can't articulate---it's about something strange that happened to me, I think in the spiritual/psychic realm. But I don't even know how to articulate the realm. So I guess I'm just asking if anything comes up for you on this, anything at all, no matter how weird.

2) how can I take care of myself and my little daughter, emotionally and financially?

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posted June 28, 2016 04:31 PM            

quote:

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1) the first question

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1. How did the past influence the present?
3D-7S
There has been an expectation of an extra income, but it was a serious setback instead.

2. What happened?
2D-3S
There is an unhealthy money situation at the moment.

3. Additional information.
5H-6S
Those cards say that the thoughts are about to move on into a positive direction.

Opinion: My cards are saying that a divorce happened.

Whenever I picked the correct energy here is a Tarot card what you can do.

quote:

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2) how can I take care of myself and my little daughter, emotionally and financially?

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financial:
Eight of Swords
The obstacles before you will only be overcome by your courage and patience. The demands of others are locking you up and restricting you from growing.

posted June 29, 2016 04:45 PM            

I saw a whitish thickness near your head, something like a dense cloud, and it gave me an impression like you received a "download" from an astral source, from this cloud. And were aware that something psychic was coming to you from the outside.

And you have to ground this new inner sense now.

Maybe something like that.

As for you and your daughter I feel like it's important to be together a lot, heal any distance, and your combined strength will give more confidence, which will carry over as "presence" in job interviews. If you've had any career difficulty it could be from feeling strained or emotionally off pitch a bit. More grounding here too...and healthy comfort food like soup, and self-care. Savoring the moment. Kids are always in the moment and need plenty of laughter to grow correctly.

Then I could see how one job would lead to another unexpected one, as your nurturing, youthfulness and presence have commercial value, however odd that may seem. Inner richness leads to outer richness.

Just my guess! Maybe wear a crystal, whatever feels right.

Wishing you and your daughter health and luck!

posted June 29, 2016 05:41 PM            

GeminiKarat, No divorce, but I did split up with my daughter's dad (we did not marry), so accurate in spirit...and I didn't have the expectation of an income source that didn't happen, but in the past I've never really made a lot of money, but always just magically sort of had what I wanted and needed (Pisces Jupiter in House 2)....now i'm freaked out because I want a lot of security for my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter. I like the 4 of cups advice.

Faith, all of this makes sense, and the image you got fir question one really resonates---it makes sense to integrate the "download" I got into myself and my life.

My child is jolly and full of laughter--maybe if we can team up psychically/energetically, it will restore my mojo. Tomorrow I'll make us a pot of soup.

posted June 30, 2016 08:17 AM            

Lucia, thank you for the feedback!

Is there any more to this part?

"it's about something strange that happened to me, I think in the spiritual/psychic realm. But I don't even know how to articulate the realm."

Hoping more people try to answer that one. It's an interesting question you asked.

posted June 30, 2016 01:47 PM            

In 2012 (there's a link to my chart earlier in this thread for anyone interested), I was standing by the bookshelf in my apartment and I was "told" by the universe that I was supposed to give up the lease on my apartment. I was childless and single. I was planning a two-month trip abroad, but I had family obligations that felt burdensome up ahead, and I didn't let go of the apartment. I'm not psychic and I don't get nudges or instructions like that very often, but I have never gone against one in the past.

I think I was supposed to stay abroad or keep traveling....or maybe it was that if I hadn't had a home to come back to from my trip, I would have stayed with my Pisces friend and maybe we would have gotten into a romantic relationship....or, I don't know what it was.

When I was traveling, I was at a magical temple and I got a direct transmission download from a monk there. It wasn't for "me" and my life and my ego. It was to enable me to rescue another person, which I did while there. It was a great blessing for me.

When I came home, I started seeing my ex again (he had come back after leaving me years before), and we had a daughter. Shortly after that, my mother died and I found out my ex was a big liar (not just the expected stuff, like cheating, but he has a huge problem that pre-dated me). I have felt imprisoned and miserable since then, punished, lots of mental and emotional health problems. But my daughter can't be a mistake---if she had a different biological dad, she would be a different person I think, although I don't know for sure. ( And I don't want her to be a different person!! There is a reason she and I have each other, in particular, right?)
He discarded me like garbage because he was mad that I was mad at him for the lying and cheating, and I am EXTRA mad that he's mad at me for being mad, lol. He crushed my ego and humiliated me. But he has not discarded my daughter, he sees her as often as I allow it (which is every day.). I am feeling

I've been screened for depression and, although there are some depressive elements to my mental health situation, I don't have it. I think I do have complex PTSD triggered hard by learning that someone I loved and trusted was a liar, and I am still dealing with shock and grief from losing my mother---plus all the top standard stressors, like losing a relationship, moving out of my home of many years (we did give up the apartment after my daughter was born), medical scares, you name it.

I have been worried that I "ruined" my life by not listening to that instruction I got---even though I 100% don't believe that lives can be ruined. And I don't exactly know why I feel that way. Especially since my daughter and I are healthy (knock-on-wood) and fortunate compared to so many in the world. But I wish I knew what would have happened if I followed the instruction!!! I knew right away that it was so I could open a wonderful door--it wasn't like, "you'd better get out of here because this place is going to burn down," if it had been I would have followed it. It was that something good awaited me.

I've never had such a massive failure of courage before.
But it must be reversible, right? I can't live for very long feeling like this, and I want my daughter to know me at my happiest and healthiest, I'm so sorry she has to deal with me feeling like this.

posted June 30, 2016 01:53 PM            

quote:

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@ Faith:

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posted June 30, 2016 07:37 PM            

Very sorry that you lost your mother and have found yourself in a hard situation. I believe you would not feel so impoverished if your mother was alive? You would have the care you need to get through it.

It seems to me like the Universe has helped you in the past, or tried, and now that your mother is gone, it would be especially hepful to keep your psychic sense open, to receive more of that "parental" type guidance...downloads.

There needs to be more than just *you* working out the problems, right? And there IS more than you, but you seem to have some fear that it will not come again? So the fear is blocking your sense a bit, maybe...you know how fear just gets in the forefront of our minds and we can barely see anything else. That's how it is for me anyway.

I'm no expert on anything, but I think there is no reason to worry that there are any serious consequences for not heeding that download. First, I think everything happens for a reason. Accept that there is a reason for this. I'm fond of the idea that we should embrace every single part of our lives as if we had chosen it. Eckhart Tolle teaches that...I wonder if there are Buddhist origins in that teaching.

Second, I think more of that type of guidance will come. Perhaps it will ask even more of you, and if you had not ignored the previous warning, you wouldn't have come to the next step prepared to take things more seriously. (?)

It sounds like the baby's father is draining you? Is that accurate to say?

Perhaps you could limit the time you spend with him, at least until you feel strong enough to deal with him again? I understand what you are saying about PTSD. I am not that well-versed on the disorder, but your whole set of circumstances looks kinda brutal.

Childbirth and the first few years are really difficult on the body and stress levels, even in ideal circumstances. I hope you do find the level of help that you need, to rebuild yourself after such a hard experience.

My mom died when I was 14 and it affected my decision-making, and sometimes I bit off more than I could chew. It's like I couldn't afford to admit to myself that I had any weaknesses. I had to convince myself I was strong and could put up with anything, because after all, in some ways, there was no one to catch me if I fell. But sometimes it was just a bluff. It's just confusing at first, trying to get a sense of our own strengths: places where we might be weak because we relied on parents for crutches and didn't develop those particular areas. Sometimes I didn't develop strengths because I couldn't see my own weaknesses, just my bluffs, and my ongoing feeling of living in an emergency of some kind.

Anyway I believe you will eventually get the hang of it. You are strong and intelligent and obviously adventuresome (from what you've said). You just need to get into that mental space of "I'm ready for your help, Universe...thank you," and it begins. I think that you being here, looking for support, is a great sign that things are moving up.

The Buddhist monk story is incredible and hopefully a light to show you what you are capable of. It's nothing small!!

Hope this wasn't too much to say. I just have walked part of your path and thought I would show you what I've learned. Your path may be even harder, but you are probably stronger than me, and I believe you will get through it! Maybe healing your crisis will teach you how to help others through similar things...this may be the mud that your lotus is trying to bloom from.

Wishing you all the best, and let me know if I can do anything to help you.

posted July 09, 2016 09:56 PM            

You have all my sympathy.

Speaking of those crutches....

One of my friends was orphaned at age 13. I wasn't orphaned but my father was much older and busy with his own life. He did his best, but there were deficiencies and serious ramifications that people were not "tracking" for me. Nobody stepped in to say, "Now that your mother is gone, you need to...." I was just winging it, and year by year sinking without actually realizing it. I made decisions nobody understood because they had parents and didn't have to think the same way I did. People judged me because I was desperate and made decisions accordingly.

So anyway, one day in my early 30s I was at my friends house and she asked me to do something in the kitchen, and for a minute I was just confused, because you know, I had to teach myself so much, and there are gaps, and I'm just clumsy and unsure sometimes. And she stared at me a minute and said, "God, you are exactly like me. It's so obvious you didn't have a mother long enough. I didn't know how to do anything either."

And it's just this sense of heaviness that everything depends on you and you alone that is so oppressive, right? Not that actual tasks but the loneliness in them. The starkness and maybe lack of connection to your maternal roots. I feel like my friends are still being cultivated by their parents, even at age 40 (my age) and I lost that very early. It makes a difference.

All I can really offer you is understanding and empathy, validation that it is incredibly hard, whether people see that or not...and most people do not see it or comprehend.

I hope you can at least establish a strong financial foothold, and see to it that you have the basics taken care of. With that established, you're building from the ground up again. Lower chakras start lighting up again and this can be a first step to greater prosperity and relationship success, at least, so I've heard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIdQ6SIgu7M

For what it's worth.

Times like these I wish I could adopt people, because I just hate to see anyone feeling out on a limb and worried about it. You'll get through it! YES it's impossible now but things will gradually improve...they will.

Sending a (((hug))) and apologies if I overtalked or said the wrong thing. I want to say "Yes it's horrible" and "No, it'll be okay" at the same time. One thing I know, you are intelligent, kind, and spiritually aware! That's gotta serve you well.

Best wishes!

posted July 10, 2016 03:02 PM            

Now I just want a giant income!!!!! From doing my real work/what I love most! Do you hear that, universe? I just need it for 20 years till I've gotten my daughter through school, and then you can go back to doing things more magically for me---the apartment in the amazing neighborhood that's half the rent of all the other apartments, finding a twenty dollar bill on the street just before lunch.

I always felt that as long as I had the lifestyle I wanted and the daily freedom I wanted, I didn't need that huge income. But now I feel I need the security....I hate that feeling, actually. It feels so motivated by fear.

My parents divorced when I was two, the same age my daughter is now. My mother took me thousands of miles away from my dad. She worked so hard, always multiple jobs, and never had a lot of money. She remarried and he was abusive. My mother and I are very different--she enjoyed manual labor and domestic things, I don't.

posted July 11, 2016 10:48 PM            

Maybe I will just write a list of some things I learned, though you probably already know all those same things?

1. Trust your instincts, really
2. Learn what makes you happy and do more of that. Approach issues in a way that makes you happy...every little bit of good feeling is inching in the right direction and helping build toward positive manifestation.
3. Really consider what you love and dwell on those thoughts. That's how you get to know your authentic self...focusing on what you LOVE.
4. Go with the flow, stop resisting, trust the current, drop your oars.
5. Forget the past

I'm trying to become more adept at these things...very curious about how even a slight shift might carry me in the right direction. I'm just at peace, not letting people interfere with it as much as I used to. That is my inner guide, and I'm trusting it.

Our circumstances are different but similar in some ways. I would also like to get a high-paying job and support my kids. Has to be the right job. I have 4H Uranus, too.

Cheers to us, we are moving up in life, bit by bit, I can feel it.

posted July 11, 2016 10:50 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Lucia23:
The loneliness IS the worst part. I would have really leaned on my mother to teach me how to cope with having a child---I was never around babies/toddlers, NONE of my friends had kids. That validation of just having someone by your side emotionally.

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posted July 12, 2016 07:39 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

1. Trust your instincts, really
2. Learn what makes you happy and do more of that. Approach issues in a way that makes you happy...every little bit of good feeling is inching in the right direction and helping build toward positive manifestation.
3. Really consider what you love and dwell on those thoughts. That's how you get to know your authentic self...focusing on what you LOVE.
4. Go with the flow, stop resisting, trust the current, drop your oars.

---

I am a lurking reader, but this list is awesome!

posted July 12, 2016 12:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:
I've been watching a lot of Law of Attraction videos, so your question was intuitive, as if you knew what I had been watching.

Maybe I will just write a list of some things I learned, though you probably already know all those same things?

1. Trust your instincts, really
2. Learn what makes you happy and do more of that. Approach issues in a way that makes you happy...every little bit of good feeling is inching in the right direction and helping build toward positive manifestation.
3. Really consider what you love and dwell on those thoughts. That's how you get to know your authentic self...focusing on what you LOVE.
4. Go with the flow, stop resisting, trust the current, drop your oars.
5. Forget the past

I'm trying to become more adept at these things...very curious about how even a slight shift might carry me in the right direction. I'm just at peace, not letting people interfere with it as much as I used to. That is my inner guide, and I'm trusting it.

Our circumstances are different but similar in some ways. I would also like to get a high-paying job and support my kids. Has to be the right job. I have 4H Uranus, too.

Cheers to us, we are moving up in life, bit by bit, I can feel it.

---

Faith, I agree with this whole beautiful list even though I was doing this stuff and it let me down, or the universe let me (and by extension, my innocent daughter down, or I let myself down, or whatever it was that happened. When I was on my own doing some of these things, up until that moment that haunts me where I ignored my intuition, my dreams were starting to come true, and/or I was fully in the present moment quite a bit of the time, with some energy to offer to myself and others.

In another thread where I was talking about this, Mir wrote: "being in a positive, high-vibe place doesn't guarantee not attracting crap."

And I had thought that it did. At least I'd thought that how I was living made me immune to some of the really really low places I am crawling around in right now. (Crawling around kind of glorifies it--sitting around!)

I wish my daughter did not have to deal with having a depressed, not-high-functioning-enough mom and parents who don't love each other. I'm still, at my age, upset that life isn't fair! It's not fair to lose your mother at 14, or your parents at 13...,most people I know have been through hard times, and most people in the world have been through even harder times than that.

I thought my times of being out of sync with the universe were over for good, but they weren't! I want to drop the oars again, but am worried there's something wrong.....