posted September 20, 2019 11:17 PM            

Why do you feel you are caught between a rock and a hard place?

Did either of your guy friends express that they were upset that you had a bf, or that you were ignoring them now that you had a bf? Are you worries your bf will be upset if you explain that you are friends with guys.

Is there a reason you can't hang out all together with other friends and introduce them if they don't already know each other?

It sounds like you are overwhelming yourself...its natural to lose a couple of friends when you are in a relationship, especially the same sex as your partner.

posted September 21, 2019 04:59 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Aurora_girl1990:
I feel guilty because i have been slightly avoiding them because i feel i dont need a male friend anymore..i have my bf and i dont desire to maintain close friendships with other males as i feel it complicates things or feelings developed on their end.And because he is simply enough for me.

But i feel guilty as then i feel im abandoning them or something ..so im torn.

---

Ok, that is upsetting to anyone for you to tell them you were only friends with them because they were guys. Even if this bf is the one, that doesn't mean you can maintain friends with guys...and if your friends ask you to hang out, then tell them you're hanging out with your bf and they should get the point. If you feel bad about doing that, then maybe you have feelings for those guys...but if you don't it shouldn't matter at all and they will understand.

posted October 31, 2020 08:11 AM            

Again,ok when i was single but not now that i am taken. Yet this friend would keep doing it even though early on i told him to stop.

Also since 2017(around the time i started dating and a bit earliee) he would disappear from my life ie no contact online(we only knew each other via online chats and calls) for months on end,pop up occasionally for a few days and then disappear again.

I never minded except that he always tried to drop sexual hints in the conversation which made me uncomfortable.

I decided to call the friendship off this
time because my bf was going through a very tough time and he didnt like thus friend of mine because of his behaviour of being sexually suggestive at times.

Also this friend had just showed up again in my life after nearly 8 months of no contact from his end.

So yea i did what was best for me and my future family with my bf.

I just couldnt say it well then because i was confused about the reason why i wasnt being friends with him anymore.

Lack of poorly defined boundries and a need to please contributed greatly to this confusion along with the fact that things were a bit unsteady between my bf and I.