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Author Topic:   Shaking off sadness
Charisma4
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From:
Registered: May 2005

posted December 04, 2005 02:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Charisma4     Edit/Delete Message
Hii everyone My name is Sigourney and you could say i'm new, I haven't really made any posts but I browse around the forums a lot just reading and learning.

But anyway, lately i've been getting really sad. All the things that are happening in my life now are pretty trivial and I know they will pass in time but it doesn't change the fact that these things still hurt me. My best friend (she's a scorpio) of five years and I spend most of our time together, well we used too, anyway. We've each had boyfriends before but it never got in the way of our friendship, we both agreed that there was no guy who was worth growing apart over. In fact, I was dating a guy who I was absolutely infatuated with and I started neglecting our friendship. She expressed her hurt feelings to me and I took them into deep consideration. I decided that the guy was not worth it, especially since I knew i wasn't going to marry him, I don't want anything that serious for awhile, so I broke up with him. Everything went back to normal with us for a little while, but now she met a guy, and he's a really great guy. He's so good to her and she deserves it after all the other you know whats i've seen her with. However he is a bit on the jealous side. Now we never see each other. We hardly talk outside of school. I've made attempts to hang out with her, but each time i've been blown off. I didn't get mad at her, I just told her how it hurt my feelings and decided to wait it out. He gets really jealous if she ever decides to go hang out with a couple guys who have been our really good friends (strictly platonic friendships) for about a year. So she doesnt go hang out with them anymore. My feelings are so hurt and I explained that I was really happy for her, but just felt a little neglected and hurt. She listened to me but didn't really respond and now a week later, nothing has changed, no phone calls, nothing. My feelings are so hurt and I'm so mad. My friends tell me she'll come back eventually but why would she do this in the first place? She can only be my best friend when its convenient for her? I know this happens to friends a lot, and I know it will pass but I need ideas on how to shake off the hurt feelings for the time being. Any ideas will be appreciated.

Thankss a bunch for listening to my sob story

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freebird
Knowflake

Posts: 377
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted December 05, 2005 12:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for freebird     Edit/Delete Message
Ok....Let's see.

It sounds so similar to me.
Firstly I can understand you both are good friend. I would be glad to know what 's your sign. What's your sign because that would help.

Your friend Scorpio didn't say anyting for 2 reasons. Either she judt didn't knew what to do and tell you. She can uderstand how you feel.

OR

She thinks that you deserve that since when you had a boyfriend you wouldn't take care of her.I am not sure what she is feeling.

You can just tell her how you feel and don't create a scene. I think when you left your old boyfriend was kind of mistake and I don't think you should hope that she should leave her new boyfriend for you both to be friend just because you did that.

I guess you understand why she isn't hanging out because her boyfriend is jealous type.

How you should deal with this ?

Make new friends, take up any hobby where you don't have to rely on anyone,Go out with your other (guy) friends.Anyways she is your best friend so keep in touch and just ask her if she would like to come out
EVERYTIME when you go out.If she doesn't then don't feel that she doesn't want to. She is just busy with her personal life.Be Open minded and don't judge her.

Be there although you might feel that she isn't there for you. She would appreciate and would regard you as best of the friend for the life time.

Love to your friendship

By the way I am a scorpio....

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aqua
Knowflake

Posts: 1735
From: dreamland
Registered: Jan 2004

posted December 05, 2005 06:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for aqua     Edit/Delete Message
welcome to LL Charisma4 !

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dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake

Posts: 930
From: Reno, Nevada, USA
Registered: Jun 2003

posted December 06, 2005 01:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkus_malorkus     Edit/Delete Message
Welcome to LL

Well, my best friend is a Scorp moon and she always seems to find guys I don't think are good for her. But I haven't really expressed this, because I don't think it's my place. All I care is that she is happy and I know she will make the right decision.

This guy sounds like a jerk to me. She should have the freedom to do what she wants, and have her own friends too.

This can be a touchy subject, but it sounds like you have explained yourself and told her how you feel. Sometimes that's all you can do. Be sure to offer your support, and be there for her because like freebird said, she will appreciate that.

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dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake

Posts: 930
From: Reno, Nevada, USA
Registered: Jun 2003

posted December 06, 2005 01:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkus_malorkus     Edit/Delete Message
if you suspect she is in a potentially abusive relationship, tell her your concern and if it comes to it, get help from someone you know (a counselor, mentor, etc)

hopefully it won't get to that point but i have seen it happen!

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Charisma4
Knowflake

Posts: 5
From:
Registered: May 2005

posted December 06, 2005 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Charisma4     Edit/Delete Message
Freebird: I'm a libra. I agree, leaving my boyfriend wasn't such a good idea, but I'm not that naive to think she should do the same. I think this guy is really good for her, you should have seen some of the past relationships she's been in, so this a change in scene for her. Her dad left when she was just two days old, so she's always had the problem of not feeling wanted or loved by guys, but this guy is different. It's actually improved since I made the post. We got into a big fight on Saturday, the fight had nothing to do with me feeling negelected, but I think I just kept so much of my hurt inside that I just exploded. Since then she realized exactly how much it hurt me.

Dorkus: I agree, the guy should let her do what she wants, but other than this small fault, he's a sweetie. However, I do realize this fault could worsen, only time will tell.

Thank you all so much for the advice, reading your replies has really helped me realize it's not the end of the world.

Sigourney

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