posted August 10, 2003 12:41 PM         

Are things in your life going pretty smoothly?

posted August 11, 2003 02:46 AM         

well up till about two or three weeks ago i had been having really intense feelings, about everything, everything was something i either passionately cared about or hated with a passion, it was emotion overload....and i wanted it to stop, i wasnt being a nice person, i wasnt really dealing with it and people around me couldn't figure out what was going on with me....so i asked for it to stop.....and now i feel as though it was wrong to do that....because everything i "glazed" over...i dont feel truly happy and i dont feel hate...mostly i feel "nothing"....its worrying, and i'm worried that my dreams arent delving into anything important because of this....and i'm again not dealing with things....

i'm not sure if that made any sense, but i've worked through some issues i had and i think i'm ready to deal with things again...but nothings happening...and my dreams are leaving me with a sense of....anxiety of foreboding (?), i'm not sure...

posted August 11, 2003 11:39 AM         

I think this makes sense. You are having these "boring" dreams because you are feeling "nothing" in your waking life ... but this will not continue for long. There is a building up of energies within your unconscious, and they will soon manifest in your subconscious, resulting in some very intense dreams. You have already suggested to your subconscious that you are "ready to deal with things again" ... and so you will, no doubt.

I will make a loose prediction - within about three days, you will have at least one fairly vivid, not-so-boring dream. I would expect to see a symbology reflecting the emotions you have been supressing.

Please post it here when you have it! I would be most interested!

posted August 13, 2003 04:40 AM         

lol

posted August 13, 2003 03:04 PM         

It's not all that interesting, but I don't know if it's exactly boring...

See it's over 3 weeks since I've smoked any pot... even longer for "other" recreational activities...

In my Rockstar group of friends, that's a lifetime...

But I keep having a dream where I end up smoking pot/doing a "rec" drug again... like after a long night of partying, I'm drunk and at a loss of will power I give in...
Then it's like I'm looking down at myself from above, or a voice inside my head is like, "Damn Mark! You had to go and smoke didn't you?" And I feel utter disappointment, kinda let-down and sad that I couldn't hold out...

posted August 14, 2003 01:23 PM         

Of course it fits in here! It IS a dream, and all dreams are welcome!

I remember those days well, and when I gave it up, I had the same sort of dreams. And even though that was some time back, I still occasionally give in to the temptation when I sleep!

May I ask, why did you quit?

posted August 18, 2003 05:47 AM         

i love birthdays!!

i was gonna sing but i wont....

Ra, my dreams are so weird now....i know that really interesting stuff happens in them but i cant remember them at all!! it's quite frustrating....i'm hoping i will remember one soon

the thing is their all like one big story playing out in my head over the last four or five nights and i can remmber tiny little bits but nothing that makes sense in any order....and their all so detailed...
ohhh i hope i start remembering soon.....

ok well HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN!!!

toodles
^_^

posted August 29, 2003 09:07 PM         

i was really upset at first because i thought that i wasnt dealing with anything again....but now i realise that i actually am dealing with things....so well that i dont have to try and interpret it in my waking state.....

i dont know what this means....it might mean i actually dont sleep very well....but when i dream ...its like i'm awake and asleep at the same time...becuase i can clearly remember "analyzing" my dreams while i was dreaming them.....is that weird???

posted August 29, 2003 09:20 PM         

Do you feel confused?

I do!

posted August 29, 2003 09:24 PM         

i'm not confused though....i get whats happening but i usually have trouble "conveying" what i'm thinking....its even more difficult when i dont totally understand..

its sort of like i've been so worried about analyzing what i'm dreaming that i'm doing it while i'm dreaming....and i only remember what i was thinking while i was analyzing the dreams..not the dreams themselves....

posted September 15, 2003 03:37 AM         

if you have time, but no rush...

ok, i'm at school and random things happen but for some reason i keep thinking about tornadoes.
all of a sudden someone screams "Tornadoes!!!" and there are five of them forming. we all run to this part of the school (that doesnt exist in real life) and open up the floor. here there is about a meter of room which goes under the whole school so we all get in (the WHOLE school). i dont get in but i dont know why, for some reaosn i'm still outside even though i was first to go in. i try to get in but htere isnt any room. i see a crack in the floor....

now i'm walking home with my mum, dad, cousin, and a little baby. were rushing because we dont want to get caught by the tornadoes. just then a HUGE tornadoe forms right in front of the house.
all of a sudden we are inside and descending into a little crack in the floor of the living room.
i see another crack and begin to push it apart. everyone gets mad at me because they think i'll kill them all by making the floor break. something clicks and the floor starts breaking up and moving around untill we are in a large room. beds 'click' out of the walls, we all get on one and are safe.

the next day (i think) me, my mum, and my two grandmas are in our living room (it has no hole in the floor and the house doenst seem to have been damaged by the tornadoe)

i see something on the ground and pull. its a piece of long cloth which is coming out from beneath the floor. i pull and the floor crack and finally a large hole emerges. now it swtiches to third person and i myself looking horrified while seeing whats inside the hole, and then looking up and looking terrified and accusingly at my mum's mum.
back in first person, i know, even though i didnt actually "see", that there are dead people inside the hole. grandma begins to cry and pray inaudibly. back in third person i see me and mum screaming at grandma saying stuff like 'how could you do this!!??" and "how could you not tell us!!!???" and so on....

next day (i think) me and my cousin (in third person again) are walking towards a gat ein front of a trainstation and we meet a man and give him a piece of the cloth. i think hes an investigator but im not sure dos in the dream i never really saw him just a balck outline of a person, like a shadow.
the last thing to happen in the dream is i think "now we'll get you grandma" keep walking and then i woke up......

posted September 15, 2003 01:06 PM         

Earlier in this post I said "I would expect to see a symbology reflecting the emotions you have been supressing."

Well, it took longer than three days, but that is what this dream is all about!

Tornados are classic symbols of intense, emotional disturbance. And the cracks in the floors and the rooms below are symbols for subconscious energies that have been supressed, indicated especially in the scene with your grandmother (dead people inside hole).

It seems you are trying to escape or hide from very powerful emotions, centered around both school and family (but especially family). You do not want to feel these emotions, but they are beginning to make an impact upon you anyway.

Are you okay, MOONAT?

posted September 15, 2003 05:54 PM         

i honestly am not sure which feelings these are, but just reading your post gave me this weird feeling in my stomach.....kinda like i almost remembered but then......nothing.....

i forgot to mention that when my grandma was crying me and mum were also saying "oh praying again! what good will that do you!?"
it kept bugging me all day when i hadnt posted it so i thought i should.

i have been feeling totally confused lately, its like there are two 'me's' working at the same time...i think so many things and then i say and act like a different person, its so frustrating! and i cant help it, its like i sit there and plan on saying what i really think...but then i end up saying really stupid things...i feel like theres a me inside my head and then theres this weird me that wont let 'me' be there...........if that makes sense...

posted September 18, 2003 03:44 AM         

How do you feel about your grandmothers, by the way?

posted September 18, 2003 07:42 AM         

well i love them ofcourse, but there are just some things that i disagree with so much i cant stand being around one of them sometimes.

my mum's mum (the one praying and crying, and me screaming at her in the dream), well my auntie died about two years ago and since then shes turned into this 'life hating' woman who keeps saying how she would die if it wasnt for the kids......and then she 'emotionally abuses' my cousin' everyday she watches what my cousin eats and makes her run around blocks while grandma follows her, she emotionally blackmails her.........and then blames on the fact that she loves her.
my grandma has the very best of intentions, but some things she does are just so against my core beliefs i feel like screaming at her. i'm not her favourite grandchild, i tell her what i think a bit too much, or i just dont do what she wants....i think my cousin is going into depression, and grandma is like her mom (or trying very hard to be).....and her dad isnt much better, they think if they put her down enough about her appearance shell just feel soooo good about herself shell change.....it makes me soo mad!

posted December 21, 2003 11:39 AM         

I apologize. I did not realize we had left some things undone. I will read back through this string and see where we left off.

Back soon ...