posted December 05, 2003 03:03 PM         

I was in Germany I THINK... everyone was speaking in German but really we could have been anywhere) with a bunch of Nazis... most of the men were in uniform but there were some in more casual clothing. They had their families there with them. I'm not sure why I was there. I was relatively young - in my mid to late teens. My little brother and sister were there playing with other kids.

There was a lot of just wandering around listening to various conversations. Some just about how to cook a good meal and some about war. There were very tall trees.. lots of pine.. all around the house and it was a pretty area.

The sun was going down slightly and the men were gathering because they would go into the woods for these secret meetings and rituals. On this occasion they were going to take the first born male from each family with them to be sacrificed. That meant my little brother was going.

I don't know why I didn't try to stop them. I think I thought it was pointless because there were too many of them or maybe I was scared. Anyway.. they all headed off into the woods to their secret place and I sat there with my sister and a bunch of other girls and boys that weren't the oldest in the family. We were very sad.

Later my little brother came running from the woods because he had escaped. I guess this was the courage I needed because suddenly I was all up for helping him even though I knew I'd get in a lot of trouble for it.

Things get fuzzy. I remember helping him in through a window and trying to hide him as the Nazis came out of the woods to look for him. There was a little girl there trying to notify them that I was hiding him and where he was.

I kept shocking her with a battery.

I did manage to hide my little brother. He went up to hide in the stars and he sent me this necklace that was made from star dust that I put on. It was beautiful!

But my problems with the Nazis weren't over. Next thing I know I am in a city. I'm certain it was a city in Germany just from the roads and the style of the buildings. I was a little older and still wore the necklace but always hidden so no one would see it and suspect my brother was still alive.

But I went somewhere.. not sure why I was going... maybe I was working or something. I was in a nice dressy tailored outfit. There was a German officer there and he spotted my necklace and wanted to know where I got it and then he wouldn't let me leave.

Next scene is we outside at night. I am surrounded by people I am trying to help. This officer is there and he starts killing them. He doesn't even kill them with a gun but he u ses a knife and slashes their throats or their foreheads and he's enjoying that I am upset about it even though I'm trying very hard to pretend I don't care.

posted December 06, 2003 04:18 AM         

I took this dream to work with me last night, but did not get a chance to do anything with it. I actually had to work! It will probably be Tuesday before I can get back to it.

Of course, my first impression is that it is some sort of past-life memory or something, but I hate to jump to that conclusion too quickly, as I usually do when it comes to you and those insidious Nazis. I would like to try and look at it symbolically and see where that takes us.

Do you have any perceptions or feelings about this dream?

posted December 06, 2003 06:52 PM         

I don't know. It's a confusing dream because it seemed very realistic in parts and then other parts were very dream like. For instance the uniforms were really detailed and the trees were so realistic I could see the detail in the bark.. but then my little brother went up to the stars and sent me a stardust necklace!

I wasn't overly emotional when I woke up from it, though, even though it was very upsetting at the end of it. But I did feel like it was important to write down.

posted December 09, 2003 04:48 AM         

As related to this possible past life, it could be that you are experiencing some of the same emotions in the present as you did in this past (with perhaps other kinds of connections as well). This could hold true for any of the Nazi related dreams you have had, which I had not thought of before in this way. (and I am not sure at what level of your consciouness this may be occuring).

If this is true, then it would be fruitless to analyze each component 'would-be symbol' in these dreams. Instead, perhaps we should focus more on the feelings involved in these dreams, and consider them in relation to the obvious symbols, such as the star-dust necklace.

In this dream, there are obvious feelings of helplessness, fear, and a fight against the odds. Also, we have a possible connection to family ties and sacrifice/protection concerning this. But before I can go any further with my thoughts, I need some more information on this little brother and the necklace.

Is this your actual little brother, or a dream little brother?

When I first read the dream, I thought you said he went to hide up in the stairs, but you said stars ... a little bit different!

Can you elaborate on that at all? How did he hide in the stars? And how did he send you the necklace? What did the necklace look like? What did it feel like ... how/what did it make you feel?

Oh, and what kind of battery were you shocking that girl with? (I am not sure that it matters)

That enough questions for you?!

posted December 09, 2003 12:06 PM         

Now back to the questions!

**Is this your actual little brother, or a dream little brother?** Dream little brother. I didn't recognize him at all as my little brother now.. and there was a larger age difference in the dream.

**but you said stars ... a little bit different! Can you elaborate on that at all? How did he hide in the stars? And how did he send you the necklace? What did the necklace look like? What did it feel like ... how/what did it make you feel?**

I'm not exactly sure what led to him going up to the stars except that we couldn't find a good place for him to hide so it was a last resort. I guess I was in awe of him. We were by the house and he just turned into all these little sparkling lights and flew up into the sky where the stars had just started to come out. The necklace sort of fell out of the sky and into my hands. It was silvery and the chain was silvery as well. The pendant looked like an upsidedown teardrop. It was a couple inches long and it looked like it was dusted with diamonds. Oh how I felt about it!! It was bittersweet. I was sad he was gone and didn't think I'd ever see him again. But the necklace gave me some sort of comfort and hope.

posted December 10, 2003 04:38 AM         

How do you feel about that Amber?

posted December 10, 2003 02:40 PM         

I read your post yesterday but I've been contemplating it and I re-read it a few times.

posted December 13, 2003 05:32 AM         

These thoughts came as a result of a sort of conversation with mySelf ... I was asking myself about the battery - what did this mean?

My inner voice stated very clearly that "the little girl is Amber, and in that incarnation, at that point in her life, she received a shock to her very core that has not yet been completely healed ...", and, "... an aspect of herself was split, remaining now as an undeveloped, incomplete portion of herself, as symbolized by the little girl."

I do not have time to type all of this "conversation" out at the moment, but I wanted to at least type this little twist in the "dialogue" ... "Amber did not manage to hide her little brother. He was taken, and so was she. Her punishment was to witness the brutal killing of her brother." The idea is that her brother died and went up to the "stars", but because the experience was such a shock, the conscious memory was replaced with symbolic disappearance.

It was also suggested that the necklace is a reflection of an actual momento, but that it also symbolizes an energy center, the throat chakra. This is a communication/creativity/expression center. Somehow, this is where the energy of the past experience "is" in the present.

More later ...

What do you think?

posted December 15, 2003 09:25 PM         

Again, I needed to take a couple of days to read this a couple times and think about what you've said, Ra. It's amazing what dreams can reveal, isn't it? I've always been fascinated by them and mine have always meant a lot to me even if I never knew what they meant.

So in the past year or so since I've been here at LindaLand (has it been one year or two? wow... I always forget dates) it seems that I've learned so much from my dreams with the wonderful help of so many people here and Ra; and yet I sit here with a perpetual "I don't know!" on my lips.

I feel, Ra, that I sometimes do you a huge disservice. You do such a fantastic job on my dreams and everyone elses. You go out of your way and bring such insight and nearly every time you've helped me with a dream I think "THAT'S IT!" and then immediately the "wait.. I don't know" pops up. That's just me. I constantly question myself and not necessarily in good ways. I really wish I could trust my intuition but sometimes I have such doubt in myself that I can't even figure out what my true intuition is. I forget or discount my original feelings by piling over them with uncertainties and insecurities.

It *IS* interesting how my dreams involving WWII are playing out. There are a thousand different pieces to two different puzzles. One what really happened and one the symbolic representation. The trick is to put them together and figure out which pieces go to which puzzle. I think this is simultaneously frustrating, fun, exciting, scary, dreadful and dozens of other descriptions that don't make any sense.

Just let me make it clear I appreciate all of you

Night before last I had another dream.

I don't remember most of it now. Just that a group of Nazis were holding some people prisoner. I tend to think they were POW's rather than Jews just because of the security and the surroundings. It was a small place (small wooden shack essentially by a small road) and there were only about 10 prisoners (probably less). They were all men. I was sneaking green beans (??) into them because they were starving. Some of the beans they would eat right away but some of them they were trying to grow without the Nazis finding out about it and punishing them for it. They would hide the sprouts under these ratty blankets when the guards would come in for inspections. There was nothing else in the room, though. Just the blankets and prisoners. No furniture.

posted December 16, 2003 05:06 AM         

Amber, please, no dis-service at all! On the contrary! I am learning many things with your experiences and help! If it were always easy, something would be wrong.

And there is certainly nothing wrong with questioning anything and everything! I advise it! When something is true, there is no need for logic or intuition, you just know it. Until you know it, question it.

Now, this last dream is very interesting to me. It is almost like a continuation in, or more information about, the "story" as I have not yet commented on from the first dream! I still do not have quite enough time to type it in full ... but perhaps if I post bits at a time, I will eventually complete it!

In the part of your first dream pertinent to your last dream, this states, "At certain times she assisted in covert operations that smuggled the innocent into safety. Main contacts were British and American operated intelligences." I am not kidding. I wrote that last Friday (?)(when was the 12th?), while "talking" to myself about the first dream.

I specifically notice that there is no reference to "Jews", only an ellusive, "the innocent". Also interesting is the wording, " ... British and American operated intelligences". This felt to me to be saying that the people you actually "worked" with in these efforts were part of the populus, or government, supported or otherwise run/assisted by British and American forces.

One other reference adds a bit more - not yet "revealed" by your dreams. Hmmm ... I am not sure if I should post it, I mean, could that influence by way of "suggestion" or "leading"? I do not want to do that! ???

In the second dream there appears to be the same combination of (possible) past life fragment, symbol, and feeling. I do not want to stop here, but I have to! ...

... more when I can.

posted December 17, 2003 05:51 AM         

I asked, what about the pendant? The answer ... "A momento of her brother worn in that experience, though the appearance in the dream is more symbolic. The tear-drop shape is found to symbolize the sadness, the emotion, connected with her brother. But this is inverted so as to symbolize the inversion of her emotion and this experience with her brother, an inversion of pain and sadness to service ... more to the point, her pain was 'turned' into a precious gift (especially to others)."

And then there was more ... "Another facet to this pendant symbolism is related to the throat chakra. In the present life, it is found in this energy center residual vibrations from this past-life. As the opening and clearing of this center progresses, more of the creative forces will be released on a more conscious level. It is through this center, due to this past-life and others, that much of Amber's creativity presently manifests, albeit from an unconscious level. ...(pause)... Does not every great artist hold some insufferable pain in his or her soul?"

It felt like this "conversation" could have gone on forever! I am used to "getting" words or short phrases sometimes, but I do not often get this sort of internal rambling!

The question is ... does it sound crazy, or feasible?

posted December 18, 2003 05:23 PM         

You ask a question like that on this board? Is anything really crazy here?

Did I tell you when I had my past life regression a few months ago that the woman doing it said when it was over that she had a feeling I had some strong ties to England? So it's amazing that you bring that up. And also amazing that you had all of this in your head before I even had the greenbean dream!

Now I'm curious to know what other reference you came up with that you don't want to tell me yet! My curiosity always gets the better of me, you know.

Forgive me if I don't make sense. I've been unbelievably exhausted the past couple days. Exhausted to the point that it's really a struggle for me to stay awake or even move. My brain works but typing it all out and having it make sense takes more effort! lol

The throat chakra. Ever since I learned about chakras I felt there was something blocking my throat chakra. I think I even touched on it in my Live Journal once. Either blocked or... I don't know... just something about it that made me focus on it more than the other chakras. I wonder if that's why I've always loved chokers with little pendants on them.

You know, except for the past couple of years I have strictly avoided anything and everything WWII? I think the first WWII movie I'd ever seen was Saving Private Ryan and that was only because I was forced to go see it. I think I cried through the whole thing. Then for a couple years I avoided it all again.

posted December 19, 2003 03:58 AM         

I still have much to type, and I have not even really touched upon the greenbean dream. As long as these possibilities remain more or less "on track", I suppose it is safe to continue typing out these thoughts. You know, I keep being reminded of that dream I had in the very beginning regarding you and the "throw away the book" suggestion ... remember that?

So, as opportunity permits, I will be back!

posted December 19, 2003 04:06 AM         

argh!

At any rate.. this isa very busy month for dreams for me. I've been dreaming all night nearly everynight and really remembering a lot of them. I love that Maybe I'll have something else to post soon relating to this topic.

posted December 19, 2003 01:57 PM         

last night:

First dream:
This one was early in the evening so I don't remember all of it. Was at an airport.. or rather a small airstrip. It was small and somewhat primitive - not like a big airport of today. It was just a small runway and one small building that was only one room. I was in a amall plane that that had to make an emergency landing.

I went into the building while the plane was being looked at. There were German soldiers at the airport and one with a gun outside the door of the little building but I didn't pay much attention. It was cold outside. We were all in heavy coats. It was cold in the building, too, which was just small and mostly just for a little shelter than anything else.

There was a black woman in the building. I'm not sure if she had been on the plane with me but I think she was because I had some sort of familiarity with her.

I stepped out of the back of the building for a moment and then I noticed there was a GIANT NAZI. I mean GIANT... like there can only be in dreams. He must have been 10 stories tall. He was peeking down at the house. I freaked out and ran back in but the black woman went outside because she had something to do.

arrrrgh the giant got her and I knew what was going to happen and I knew that for some reason it was because of me. He grabbed her and started hitting her against the door (which had a window on it made of that foggy white glass). After about three hits blood started spraying everywhere and I threw myself into a corner with my hands over my ears and my eyes closed but I could still hear the pounding on the walls and the roof.

In the second dream:

I was moving into a new house. It was small and not very well kept but I really looked forward to cleaning it up, decorating, and making it pretty! We thought it would be much more expensive but the landlord liked me and told me it would be only $500 a month so we made the deal official.

I was pleased and went right in to the house to explore a little and figure out where I would put everything. There was furniture from the tenant that lived there before that I planned to remove. I soon discovered the house was MUCH bigger than I had thought. Instead of one bedroom there were FOUR and there were more bathrooms, too. A couple of the rooms were filled with furniture and old clothes from the people before. Those rooms were very creepy to me because I could sense the ghosts that lived there and they were none too happy. I could sense one in particular that was strong and he had killed children, starved them, played with them, terrorized them.

Then I ran into the ghosts of 4 German soldiers. I knew they were there in the shadows of the rooms. One of them really hated me because I had something of his. It was a small book. I had it in my pocket and looked at it when I thought of it and I was quite proud it had taken it from him. I'm not sure exactly what was in it but I kept thinking it was translating things for me. It was about 4 inches by 6 inches and I think bound in brown leather with a strap that had a button on it so it could be snapped closed. The ghost wanted it back which confused me because I told him he was dead so what did he need it for?? But.. wow.. was he mad.

Someone else I knew was in the house. Not sure if he was a friend or a roommate but it's not someone I know in waking life. He was in the bathroom near the living room. I suddenly knew the ghost planned to hurt him. I had to run to the front of the house and into the bathroom and the man was being controlled by the ghost to do things. He had a hand full of loose razors and he was cutting his wrists. I managed to cover the badly cut arm with a towel and then I had to pry the rest of the razors out of his hands which were now all cut up and bleeding. This was hard to do because he was taller than me and very chunky so had a lot of bulk. I could hear the ghost laughing.

posted December 20, 2003 04:30 AM         

My first impression is that the black woman represents a "dark" or unconscious aspect of self, perhaps a buried experience, one that is beating on the door of your awareness. It could have been a violent experience, and the circumstances leading to it are very similar to the previous dream about your little brother, if my interpretation has any validity. If your brother was actually killed in your presence by overpowering (giant) Nazi forces, then this fits well with the killing of the "black" woman. And if the tattling little girl was actually you, then perhaps you felt that you had something to do with his capture and death ... much as you felt "for some reason it was because of me" with the "black" woman.

See what I mean? It seems connected. At least at the moment ... I will look more closely as soon as I can. (probably Monday)

posted December 22, 2003 01:52 PM         

gah it was an unpleasant dream to say the least. There was blood everywhere on the door and I knew it was on the roof even though I couldn't see it and the noise of her being hit on the building was... overwhelming. Awful, awful. And all I did was curl in a corner. *kicks self*

posted December 22, 2003 10:29 PM         

Somehow I forgot to take those last dreams with me to work, so I will do that tomorrow. Here is what I have about the "green bean dream" ... I did this by asking "myself" about it again, so the language is weird. Is it too strange to post these "conversations" verbatim? Should I put this sort of thing in "my" own words?

Anyway, for now ...

I asked, "what is the significance of the green bean dream?"

Answer ~~ "This dream is a combination of two facets of experience in that life. There is more of a literal representation regarding the POWs, as she had close contact with groups of these individuals through service to her country. She was tasked to deliver to them rations or material necessities, and she provided a degree of comfort on a personal level as well.

"The green beans, however, are symbolic of the more covert assistance she provided to those subversive groups. (not POWs) The green beans symbolize growth, and the seeds of growth, which she assisted in providing, the 'seeds' being mostly in the form of armaments and intelligence. The ratty blankets describe the covert nature of the groups and their status as an organizination."

It appears that you led a complicated life that time around!

How does that feel to you?

posted December 23, 2003 05:18 PM         

Ra ~ I don't think it's strange to post your conversations the way they come to you. They are easy to understand. I'm amazed that you can do things like that. I don't remember you doing it before for any of my dreams. Does it come easily for you?

she provided a degree of comfort on a personal level as well Do you know what this means?

I keep thinking back on a dream I had a little while ago. I'll go find it. Here it is! In August...
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum15/HTML/000421.html