posted September 14, 2004 06:32 PM         

We were all drinking heavily. And it was obviouse the boys where here for sexual reasons. They talked about us leaving, and asked if we could get home if we went for a walk. I mentioned my mum. At the same time she walked out the dor, waving on the way.

"I'm going home, I'll be back to pick you up in the morning." "OK" I replied. One of the boys said "But if she's going she wont be able." me and the girl both shhh'd him and mum left.

The girls got up to retrieve something and I stated to the guys I was a girl. They were suprised. I said yeh because I have short hair this is normal and I am growing it now (Which is true).

They boys started out the door with the girl and I stopped her.

posted September 17, 2004 05:48 AM         

Thank you for your patience.

posted September 28, 2004 12:42 AM         

I was at school with a girl that I was totally in love with. She was older then me.
we were walking and she was hit with a ball in the side, her left side. It killed her. The view went straight to her grave, in a diserted hill. No other graves were around, but it was like a war had happened. Her grave was just above a trench.

I was holding a c0omputer like device, and typing to her in letter. I dont remember what I was typing, but it was declaring my love for her, and how I wish I had told her before we could no longer be together. I pressed enter, and found she could also comunicate back to me. She said she had always liked me to, and some things just couldn't be changed. I had better things to do anyway, more important things.

I looked around. The trench was gone, to my right was the ocean.

The scene changed to some old farmhouse, dirty and falling apart. Somehow I knew someone had been murdered. I was standing looking over the grassy hills.

Then I was standing in my bedroom. A young girl, dead lay in my little sisters bed.
A phone rang and i searched between the wall and the bed. I pulled it ut and instantly recognised it as my friend Davids. I knew he had killed the girl. I went into the kitchen to find one of my mum's friends Mel come in, saying I would love what she had. It was a bag of different lollies, mainly marshmellow types. I tried to tell her my friend had killed a young girl but it was like she didn't listen.

I turned and the dead girl was pulling on my shirt.

"He's comming for it. Dont let him get away with this. It's up to you, your all alone."

She dissapeared and he stormed in. I instantly shoved the phone in my pocket.

"Where's my mobile?" He asked me rudly.

"why would it be here?"

"It is here!"

"The only thing in this house was a dead little girl which U killed."

"Give me my phone.

The back end of my house melted away in the ocean and i ran into the water, trying to escape him. His phone was drenched and I pulled it out to see if it was still working, which it was. I continued to wade into the water, thinking back to the dead girl I loved, and how I couldn't let him get away with this.

posted October 01, 2004 04:29 AM         

This could be about energies concerning your sexuality. You seem to know what you want, but you are having some difficulty with the social implications/interactions, probably mostly due to your young age. Are you keeping something from your mum?

posted October 13, 2004 03:45 AM         

I finally got a little inspiration with your dream from 9/09, the 'race/green queen dream'. I still only have broken notes on it and need to complete a few things, but it shouldn't be long. The dream is actually very sad to me, as the symbology seems to suggest, to me, that you very much need the love of your mother as part of your growth but you just cannot seem to make that very much needed connection with her. It could be at the root of many of your difficulties. Am I getting too personal?

posted October 13, 2004 04:35 AM         

I'm begining to question if my mother has bipolar. As she loves me, but often makes us kids feel insignificant.

hmmmmm...lots of fun.

no anyway never to personal.

posted October 13, 2004 05:42 AM         

I looked back to the tree house. Halfway up was a boy. He was very feminine and I thought he might be homosexual. I was instantly attracted to him. I wanted to be left alone with him.

"you guys go ahead. We will catch up to you."

They left without a word, and I climbed up the planks after the boy, who had now gone to the top. I went into the treehouse and looked at my surroundings. The floor was wooden. The walls were made of glass, and I could see a 2 D world below me. The boy was laying down and looking up at me. I stood above him, looking down. It was obvious I made him nervous, and I didn't seem to care. I realised I was thinking sexual thoughts of this boy, and was horrified.

posted October 19, 2004 07:07 AM         

"When your told to come with me you come."

I stood up and followed him into a metal room like a prison. Another man was seated there, wearing the same clothes that had appeared on my body. Grey prison like clothes.

The man in black left and i started conversing with the man.

he seemed friendly to me, and i liked him a lot. It was good to know I wasn't going to be alone for however long i would be here.

He broke out of the prison, and I went after him. When I left the room people where putting letters that where in box's on shelves.

posted October 19, 2004 03:00 PM         

I'm going to skip a few items, but I'll cover the basics.

Some aspect of your life is out-of-control, or perhaps "crashed" (racing downhill/loose control), leaving you to feel left behind in some way (car zooms in front). As an aside, the 'being left behind' theme occurs in your later dreams as well.

In your thoughts, in your mind (upstairs), you seek comfort with/from your mother (pillows/blankets with mum). But this issue makes you feel uncomfortable, you do not want to experience the frustration or pain of it (pass out/dropped/watched). You need this type of motherly love (Nan), but cannot get it (Nan unable to get up). You need the loving energy that exists between mother and child (child and her mother wake you) to heal your inner self, to find love both externally and internally (heal Nan with hands).

The Chinese woman represents the root of the problem ... it is no wonder that you went to find your mum instead ... the Chinese woman is the dark side of mum, the foreign side, the side you don't know, and you want/need the good side, the familiar side. You feel you will disappear if you find the Chinese woman because you feel "transparent"/unnoticed when it comes to this other side of mum.

You seek change in the relationship (walking down hall), but all you find are old patterns (old house) and the same basic/primal feelings of need (made with trees and vines). Again, you need your mother (walk towards her) but find only obstacles, anxiety, and difficulty (dingos and lions). And to make matters even more difficult, you see a continuation of this pattern with your sister (sister cradling a baby). There is a failure to connect with mum (you left) and there is much anxiety about it (running from wolves and lions).

When you said, "I just had no way of stopping so fell", it suggests that because there is no way of stopping the issue with your mother, these energies have been pushed into your sub/unconscious.

The message of the dream then repeats ... you are in need of (looking in shop) your mother (queen) and the growth (green) that comes with that kind of relationship. Instead, you are hiding or covering up the pain you feel (shove queen in jumper), you are not showing your "true colours" (hiding green queen/showing man your clothes). You are trying to convince the man that you are the same as you always were ... you are hiding/covering your feelings.

But the truth (represented by the man) is that unconditional love and caring (your dog) is what you need. You need that sort of attention (patting dog) to help in your growth (dog's hair grows longer).

I hope this is not getting too personal, but I must say that your dreams are suggesting that the reason you seek the company of women is because your mother did not fill the emotional need you have, you did not get the right kind of attention from her. Something to think about.

posted October 21, 2004 05:49 AM         

I was hit over the head by someone and fell. When i rolled over I saw my little sister standing over me with a chain, beating me with it. I grab the chain and push her away using my feet. I role baqckwards onto my feet and toss the chain aside. It slides away from me and into a wall. My sister stairs at me, and I realise she looks like my sister, but in this dream I dont have one.

"Listen kid, I dont want to hurt you, so dont ******* do that again."

I turn away and continue to browse. I see her come at me from behind and i grasp her hand as I twist to face her, turning her body with mine due to my wieght. Her body continues to go forward and she falls into the wall, dropping a very solid blade. She launches herself at me and i punch. She runs into my fist and falls to the ground.

"Dont do it again." I mutter, turning away yet again. She smiles before grabbing a sword off the wall and slicing my arm. I grab her and trip her, making her fall on her back. my mum and dad are bending over her. I punch her in the stomach and watch her gasp for breathe. I grab a knife and pull up her shirt holding the blade above her stomach.

"do it again and i'll slice you up."

I had absolutly no desire to do so. She felt so fragile to me and I didn't even like it when i had to hit her. This was a bluff, and if i had to do anything it would be leave, not continue hurting her. Mum grabs the blade out of my hand, and bends down, slicing the stomach open.

The girl screams and I scream also, she drops the blade and stands.

...

posted October 21, 2004 03:29 PM         

This dream follows the same pattern as the others. It is about inner conflict and the possible ending of an old pattern or aspect of self (girl killed). Your friend is hit on the left side, which interestingly represents the feminine side, your receptive, intuitive, feeling aspects ... these have been stifled, they have been "hit", injured ... perhaps due to the relationship you have with your mother? It could be that this old pattern or aspect of self is a "casualty" of this internal conflict.

Your dreaming self is communicating with your unconscious (talking through computer with dead friend), and your unconscious is telling you that things are as they should be, as difficult as that can be. What was, was. What will be, will be. Some things can't be changed, including change itself.

Now, to the right, the masculine side, is the ocean, the unconscious, the mother of all feminine symbols. This suggests active forces (right/masculine) within the collective unconscious (ocean) - or perhaps activation of deep emotions.

So now the dream message repeats ... an old pattern or aspect of self (old farmhouse), is ending (murder). And again ... some aspect of self has ended (dead little girl) - this symbol could suggest that this is an aspect of innocence, innocence gone, the "little girl" in you gone somehow, or perhaps being dealt with ... and that in some ways you are treated still like a child (mum's friend has lollies) and you are not seen for what you are now (she didn't listen). I also have the feeling that since this scene is in your bedroom, and the dead little girl is in your sister's bed, that this is related to your past relationship with your mother and concerns you have about your sister following the same path. Is this true?

The scene between you and Davids reflects the conflict you are experiencing within, the confusion between your masculine and feminine selves, and the unconscious and emotional energies (ocean) that are attempting to communicate/express (phone).

This becomes even more evident and obvious in your next dream ... and it should be noted that as your dreams get progressively clearer in meaning, this is a good positive sign of growth and understanding of self.

posted October 22, 2004 12:27 AM         

I am in a car with my ex girlfriends mum. She is discussing different shirts she has seen and think I should buy. They all reminded me of lesbians and I had always thought she new about me and my girlfriend. I said I am going to buy a shirt thats says nobody knows I am a lesbian. She crashes and I hit my head on the pavement. We sit there for awhile, then i realise the crash is because she actually had no idea and was shocked.

i say you do not have a problem with lesbians? and she deny's it. I get out of the car and she drives away. I and touching my lips, and seeing blood, then rubbing my forehead and seeing more blood.

I start to walk up the road, tawords my ex gf when she walks into me. she looks at my bloody head but doesn't notice. We both turn and continue walking to her house. I had written a letter to her, explaining what had happened before it had happened and she passed it to me to read.

I say i am glad that me telling you what i said wont affect if your angry with me or not. she says why would it, she has to find out somehow (in real life she would have killed me, she doesnt want her mum 2 know)

posted October 24, 2004 04:22 AM         

I looked through the objects left out, obviously thinking of stealing something. I realised I wanted the same hammer Nathan had, and new that it was in there somewhere. I was looking, without touching, probably because i didn't want to leave prints. I didn't see the hammer, but I did see various other objects. The only ones I remember is a tape measure and a red screwdriver.

A man holding a black briefcase who worked for the store and heard us and decided to stop us. He walked up and propped open his briefcase on a table right in front of me. I didn't want to show fear, even though I was wishing I had the hammer as a weapn. Inside the briefcase where several different slengths of bamboo.

He clipped two pieces together and then attacked me, slashing at me with the bamboo.

posted October 26, 2004 02:12 PM         

This dream is about sexual confusion, internal conflict, and growth - but at least it seems that this conflict and growth (grass) are more or less in control (well kept lawn). The treehouse feels like it has connections with your childhood (or child-like/immature aspects), escape(?), a higher perspective, and somehow, security. Climbing up the tree reflects your progress in reaching a goal, which in this case is understanding or a higher perspective ("I would be able to see things that nobady else could see").

Now, this is interesting ... on your right, a strong man. The right side represents our masculine side. On your left, a male and female, child-like. The left side represents our feminine side.

Why does the man have an axe? He, the masculine side of self, is capable of cutting down your tree ... your masculine side holds the most "power", and it is perhaps over-developed ... your masculine aspects can cut you off from attaining a higher perspective. He (your masculine aspects) can be brutal and unattractive (caveman).

Why a child-like male and female on your left? Because this part of you (your feminine aspects) is undeveloped, not fully matured - your feminine aspects are not balanced with the masculine.

Then you say, "I looked back to the tree house. Halfway up was a boy. He was very feminine and I thought he might be homosexual. I was instantly attracted to him. I wanted to be left alone with him." This reflects the internal conflict and confusion that you are experiencing concerning your sexuality.

And then, "... I climbed up the planks after the boy, who had now gone to the top. I went into the treehouse and looked at my surroundings. The floor was wooden. The walls were made of glass, and I could see a 2 D world below me. The boy was laying down and looking up at me. I stood above him, looking down. It was obvious I made him nervous, and I didn't seem to care. I realised I was thinking sexual thoughts of this boy, and was horrified." Again, this reflects the same conflict and confusion, yet it also suggests that some understanding is being gained (glass walls/2D world).

The river is a barrier, perhaps an emotional barrier, that separates you from your peers. You are trying to catch up to them, but your "boat" is not "in shape" - this suggests that you feel a bit out of the main'stream', not prepared as well emotionally as your friends, and maybe you even feel a bit rejected. But, using your very capable mental/intellectual abilities (bird), you are able to overcome or free yourself from a good part of those things which are hurtful to you.

This is one of your strong points, your mental/intellectual ability, which is a masculine attribute ... and this is related to the "strong man on your right" ... so you may be unbalanced, but at least you are able to use the positive aspects of your masculine nature for benefit.

It seems that others do not notice your struggle (friends don't notice you landed on your face).

We notice.

posted October 26, 2004 02:14 PM         

This dream is all about the conflict going on within you. "What path am I walking, and is it wise to continue this way? ... these are the questions going through your mind. " It occured to me the object of the game was to live a normal life ... " This is the meaning, and this is the conflict.

It appears that, while walking your current path, you ignore the messages that your intuition speaks to you (putting letters on shelves), and that if you were to listen, your path would change to one that is more positive and meaningful (decided to be police officer). It could be suggested that you are beginning to take back your power.

This change is beginning to occur in you now.

posted October 26, 2004 02:16 PM         

This dream is about inner emotional conflict concerning the family dynamic, especially between you/sister/mum. You are seeking (shopping) protection (weapons) from these difficult circumstances ... you do not want to feel them. But, even though you are able to create some distance from it, your sister is constantly reminding you of the difficulty, the fight, because she, too, is going through the same (mum slices 'sister').There are some things about your sister that you do not like, but in your heart you know how "fragile" she really is, and you understand (at least subconsciously) how your mum is affecting her.

The stomach is particularly appropriate here as it represents the place where change/transformation begins (as in digestion), often in conjunction with issues about being accepted or with trouble in changing.

As in the last dream, change is beginning to occur within you.