posted March 15, 2005 08:54 PM         

I was being pinned to my chair by my ex-boyfriend who is very dominating. (Leo/Pieces)
He was in the process of ravaging me.

Then we were outside and his girlfriend was with us. (Thank goodness)

We were getting my mattress off of a tree, (why it was up a tree puzzles me)
in real life my mattress is king size, in the dream it turned single.
We were carrying it above our heads, and then there were holes in it.

I saw a spider, and dropped my end.

He was trying to kill the spider.

It kept getting away from him.

It started jumping from place to place.

And it seemed the porch turned into a barn and the spider jumped on a piece of machinery, and then did a major jump from the machine to a very high rafter.

I've seen spider's jump before but never that far.
It really suprised me with that jump. (like whooaaa!)
*ya know that movie about the space bugs? like that kinda jump*

I thought ok the spider got away.
*shew*

Then the spider jumped right at me, at my chest and knocked me down.
I was laying on the ground, kicking and flapping my arms, trying to get it off and then his girlfriend says there it is over there.
(I'm not sure, but I think when it hit me in the chest, it bounced, and landed a foot, or two away from me.)

I sat up and the damn thing jumped at me again!
Coming right at my face!

I put up my hand and caught the spider!
And like anyone who would have something that was like totally unwanted in their hand.

*not to mentioned scared to screaming*

I slammed my hand down on the ground, and swiped it back, and forth, front, and back.
My hand was covered in spider in-nards.
And it was blood red.

I woke up with a high heat in my body, and could not go back to sleep.

posted March 16, 2005 03:38 AM         

Has some aspect of your life, perhaps with psychological effects, been damaged in some way? Does some part of you feel incomplete and maybe isolated? What is causing you a lot of anxiety right now?

posted March 16, 2005 06:11 AM         

Hmmmm...
In a nut shell...

Well, 10 years ago, I met a guy, http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/003478.html
We, got pregnate.
He told me he loved me and the baby.
We would be together.
I waited 1 1/2 for him to get out of prison for trafficing pot.
Then he comes home and crushes my heart.
Moves in with a meth wh*re .
He lives with her for 4 years.
I kinda get over some of it, get together with someone else, we plan to marry, but he goes to drinking a case of beer a day.
I knew he drank, but shew...

Anyway, one day I call the virgo, for help with school clothes for the now school age child.
And he starts talking to me, i'm weak, because he's telling me things i want to hear, and making promises.
I break up with the other guy, and me and the virgo get back together.
He goes to prison for 4 years for cooking meth. (this is something he's done in the mean time, while with the meth wh*re , I don't do the crap, and don't want it around my kids!)
He has me sitting out here waiting for him again.
2 months home, his mother steady bitching and complaining at him about us, he has no where to go, cause he's on probation, so he tells me what he knows will hurt me enough for me to want to leave, so I pack up my kids and car and leave.

I've lost everything, house hold appliances, a home, everything but my children and a few other odds, and ends, and some clothes.

When I left i went far away, and the guy in the dream and his girlfriend plot to kidnap my youngest child, < his daughter.

I have this awful feeling and decide to come back home, (to mother's) and find out about the plot, figure that's why I have this awful feeling.

posted March 16, 2005 01:14 PM         

The dream reflects your situation very well. You've waited for him, and been manipulated by him (pinned down), twice (helps carry mattress). The mattress represents the condition of your life. There are holes in it, you feel diminished (mattress smaller than real one), your ex has helped (carry mattress) to put a horrific fear/anxiety into you (spider), you feel lost and confused, isolated (mattress up a tree).

But you kill the spider. Remember that.