posted February 07, 2008 04:33 AM         

Last night I had a weird one. I was mostly back in Texas going to a Bible Belt school that I'd gone to for awhile when I was 14. Criminals masquerading as terrorists (but were actually extortionists) had taken over our school, putting up bombs to scare off authorities and essentially keeping us all hostage.

In the dream I was 14 again, but I retained all my skills. This doesn't always happen. Like I'm proficient in the use of both guns and martial arts now, but if I find myself young and try to use these skills, it won't work: my blows are ineffectual, the gun won't fire or if it does it won't do anything. Because of nightmares I've had, I've worked hard on visualizing myself helping my "younger self" to grow up and incorporate these skills. It seems to have had an effect, but I don't know how much it applies to this dream specifically. Still, it was interesting and different from my PoV to be that young and in that part of my life again yet retain my adult skills & confidence. More so, I was 14 again which meant I was prepubescent (I had delayed puberty) yet I had my adult strength (which came in useful more than once). Oddly, the advantages of youth came in handy, too, as my size not only caused people to underestimate me but gave me advantages at dodging, hiding, and stealth. I had the best of both worlds.

Anyway, much to the surprise and disbelief of those around me, I was able to handle myself well. I was able to do enough to cause the downfall of the criminals and save our necks, among a few other minor things. But that part isn't what keeps haunting me.

The part that is sticking with me is that my mom was with one of the criminals because she wanted to share in the money they were trying to get. I saw Dad riding an elevator away. He was abandoning me, but I found I didn't care. (Btw, I went to live in that town with Granny when Mom & Dad were divorcing and almost never saw them there, ever.) I neutralized the criminal that Mom had latched onto, though I forget the details of that. I think he was still alive, but unconscious, and it was clear that he couldn't succeed at his plan while I was alive.

Enraged, Mom came at me and her size proved surprisingly formidable. And then I saw another whomping impaling tree, though smaller than usual, which Mom got me under. I sensed I should stay still as possible as it sensed movement and only pivoted slightly when a questing branch came close to touching me. Mom, frustrated, grabbed a branch to guide it into me.

As soon as Mom touched it, the other branches tore into her and I rolled out of reach as the branches focused completely on her. Her body finally dropped gorily & dead and saw that the tips of the branches had grown roots that sucked at the blood and were retreating back into the branch.

And then I ran to where my class was and joined with Giles who was my new Dad. Giles is a character from BtVS that I like a lot and see him as a positive older male worthy of trust. He's not like my actual dad at all (I'd think they'd utterly despise each other, too). But here he was my dad.

posted February 08, 2008 03:04 PM         

Wow, what a dream! There is certainly much reflection here concerning the relationship you have with your parents, your family "tree", and this dream seems to suggest that you are well on your way to conquering those difficult energies accumulated thoughout your childhood with the strength and power of a mature, developed, and balanced adult.

If need be, I can detail some of the symbology, when I get the chance. Just let me know.

Congratulations! You are coming into your own Power.