posted January 01, 2010 08:40 AM         

In the first dream I was an rock-climber. I was free-climbing a huge mountain with a group of young men. There were no other woman in the team. Two of those men were close friends of mine and I was secretly in love with one of the two.

They almost treated me as another man, I was only another mate... They were relaxed with me as if I was another guy... Or at least I felt that way... I was a bit shy, a sweet and silent girl, pretty and big-eyed, but who dressed as a man and wore very short hair. My hair was dark and strong, not like the blonde, curly and soft I have in real life... I definitely was a girl but it wasn't very obvious from outside, I only looked as a quiet and sensitive pretty boy.

I always kept an eye on that man friend I loved, secretly yearning for him while he apparently didn't notice it. Objectively, I do think he was more attentive towards me... as if he felt something more than plain friendhip... but he wasn't explicit... and, in the dream, I clearly wouldn't feel that way...

During one hard climb, my love got injured. It wasn't serious but I still was worried and took care of him. That night was at the same time uncomfortable but sweet because I was closer to him and showed a bit more my true femenine nature and feelings for him.

The following day we were reaching the summit. But our best climber was him and he was injured.

I was so worried for him... He was not going to leave it, he had gone so far that he would try and get there... It was tecnically very difficult, the rock was very steep. We got to a point were only my two friends and I had reached... and they couldn't go on... My loved one didn't have enough strength being injured and the other one wasn't technically capable...

I was the lightest... I was a girl... "Come on... you can do it..." Me? I was always in the shadows... I felt anxious... Their eyes were filled with hope... He looked at me with tenderness... and I pushed upwards... And I got to the summit!!!

I sat there, exhausted and rejoiced... The whole team cheered me up... I laughed... They were so proud of me...

Later on, there was a party to celebrate... At the beginning there were the three of us apart from the rest... My other friend winked at me and disappeared. I was nervous. He was behaving as if I was a woman, not just a mate... We looked at each other shyly... and I gave him an envelope. It contained a letter and a pendant in a leather cord. It meant something very special for him... I think it was my pendant and I was giving it to him... He put it around his neck and he gave me his pendant... and then took me in his arms and kissed me. He loved me too.

posted January 01, 2010 10:46 AM         

A couple of obvious questions to begin ...

Do you have 'secret' feelings for someone? Does this person notice you yet?

posted January 01, 2010 12:58 PM         

I do... but not this way...

He is the unnoticed one, if you know what I mean... He hides his intentions and I pretend not to notice...
I do like him, a lot... but... somehow I don't think our story is feasible... (check this thread for more info: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum11/HTML/000675.html

However, I have felt that way myself many times... Completely unnoticed, loving someone to pieces in silence...
But those days are gone now... Why is this coming up now? Why do I look somehow manly? I have always had a delicate exterior, a fragile and femenine appearance...

I was something like this:

when in real life I am something like this:

posted January 03, 2010 04:22 PM         

But I just read this dream after the one you posted about man on your back and your love friend...do you think they may be connected. I mean I know you had this one first and in it again you were concerned about this man you love...he was injured...in the the other thread he is trying to tell you something and hold on to you...if you review the dreams in this sequence does it trigger anything for you?
Cause even though you may have another man in your life maybe this love you have deeply inside of you for him (the gay guy) maybe its still not resolved...I could be way off but what do you think?

posted January 03, 2010 05:22 PM         

I'll reply to this first... I didn't think of the man in the other dream when I had this dream...
Maybe you are right and I have unresolved issues with him. I really loved him. And finding out about his sexual orientation was a hard blow.
He never told me, I found out... It is his dirty little secret. I tried him to tell me but he chose not to and I accepted it.

But it's fine now... I know that he loves me too, I know now... as a friend, as an angel that watches over him.

In this dream, that friend was a heterosexual man... No, the vibes were not the same... With the man in the dream it was romantic, with my gay friend he behaves as a child needing warmth from a twin soul...

The link I posted here is not about him, is about another guy... a younger one, also a work colleague. I indirectly mention my gay friend in that link too, as the one that kept me absorbed so I couldn't see this young one...

posted January 05, 2010 11:09 AM         

I agree with Mystique. Your subconscious mind is attempting to resolve the differences that remain between you and your friend.

posted January 05, 2010 12:31 PM         

It hurts. I don't think I want to resolve anything, he cannot have anymore of what he's getting now... I don't want to get confused...
I don't want to have to look like a man... I don't want to be that desperate to have him... There's nothing wrong with being a femenine woman... I'm OK... If someone messed all up that was him...

Maybe he's trying to reach me... psychicly... I used to feel how he felt in the distance, I used to feel his presence around in my place, I used to believe that he came and visit me while sleeping... But he needs to go now, that kind of connection is not healthy when he can only be my friend...
I miss having that bond with someone I can devote to... He can't be my twin soul so he needs to move away and let me rebuild my life again...

This dream was about being unnoticed, about wanting to be noticed... I wanted him to know that I was a girl, but if he was my gay friend, I would desperately want to be desired and wanted... that would mean that I still want him... but I cannot want him... I need to carry on with my life...
What about interchanging our pendants??? I gave him one brown and he gave me one black with a star engraved...

posted January 05, 2010 12:56 PM         

There is certainly nothing wrong with being feminine. You have a great deal to offer and you should only be yourself. Yes, he is the one who messed things up, and you are the one forgiving, and if you feel that you must let it all go, then by all means, so should you. You are OK, and you will be OK, and you will have that bond with someone you can devote to.

Your mind is still trying to resolve the issues between you, which is why you are having the dreams. Perhaps the dreams are an indication that you are releasing this stuff, which is obviously difficult. You will resolve them, and you will carry on with your life. You are strong, and these experiences will strengthen you more.

Beautiful steelrose, it is going to be okay.

posted January 05, 2010 01:16 PM         

I thought this dream didn't have anything to do with him... I thought it was a ray of sunlight... maybe not.

Any posibility of him interfering with my dreams, projecting images in my subconscious?
Could all this be that, only interference? Him wanting to interact with me or tell me something? Am I picking those vibes up or is he desperately wanting to connect?