posted October 05, 2012 08:50 AM            

I saw her in some shop that she stopped by while she was on tour with her assistants and nobody recognized her while she was there but i did and i didn't say anything to her til i noticed she kept giving me the eye like she *wanted it*.. i kept not saying anything.

The shop was not in the best part of town but it was near the venue so that's why she parked her big ol bus and got off there.

I saw her go around the store and have fun picking out things and i finally went to say something to her like "hey, i'm a fan" and she caught such an attitude!

She told her assistant that she didn't want to hear it and then her assistant told me to get away but then i saw katy again in an aisle and she smiled like "i'm just in a bad mood and tired from all the touring" and she grabbed and tickled my arm apologetically.. I didn't feel she was such a b*tch then... I saw her then try on lingerie and a bunch of other outfits and i caught the feeling that she was trying on those sexy outfits just for me and to catch my eye but i knew what she wanted..

So, i played it cool and would look and wouldn't show much interest other than maybe a slight lift of an eye.

Eventually i left because i was thinking of my car and it being parked outside for too long in that neighborhood and vividly remember being followed by a guy wanted to "tell me something" which i ignored before i got in my car. I was dressed fancy, very fancy.. Then i heard him make the comment: "Yeah, i knew it. You know what the streets are about". He was either gonna break into the car or try to stick me up.

I drove away but decided to go back and see katy.. She was friendly. She'd even have her assistant take pics of us while she was in her risque outfits.

I went back to my car and parked at a hotel. I got on the elevator to go downstairs and ran into katy and her 2 assistants again. We said nothing but once i got downstaira, i see her entire staff and they'd all been told about me. Once i tell em i'll see them all later at the show (since they were all being friendly) some short and stubby chick tells me that katy told them not to allow me into the arena.

I was confused because we had just had such a good time! I saw her t*ts for crying out loud!

Well, the assistant chick told me to get my car and leave and she got in the car with me.. Told me that katy's other assistant (the one that told me to leave when i said something to her in the shop) was a big ol' lesbian and that all 3 of them had had some kind of lesbian affair thing going on so i assumed that katy never said that and that maybe it was just her butch lesbian undercover lover..

The assistant chick told me to park in front of a dairy queen and that she'd tell me more.. I had to put the top down to my car before we went in and when i did, the cover was tearing and she noticed there were bugs in the cloth.. Like, maggots or catterpillars from the rotten cloth.. She ran in and i followed a bit later and never found her. I realized shortly after that she tricked me and ran back to the hotel with everyone else and that she was just a diversion to keep me away from katy which i knew was madly in love with me.

It was her assistant's doing. She did it and set it all up to keep us apart. We said nothing in the elevator and i was ok with it. We smiled at each other slightly but she is high profile so i understood the need for discretion.

posted October 11, 2012 04:01 AM            

You said ...

I'm thinking the whole dream meant that maybe i'm not really a person that can act or behave like that and remove myself in an emotional context from a romantic relationship that easily?

This could certainly be it, or part of it. What I see is that you leave Katy, then come back, then leave, then run into her elsewhere, etc. She could represent a constant or something steady in your life, as you mentioned in the other string. In the dream there is always something/someone pulling you away or keeping you from her. This could be a reflection of your waking life where you were always being kept from stability, where there was little constant. Also suggested by the dream and perhaps reflected in waking life are the repercussions of not having a constant ... insecurity and difficulty with relationships.

Perhaps the last scene sums it up ... maybe you don't want someone else to dip or sprinkle your ice cream because you feel that you are the only one you can count on.

Does this strike a chord, or am I way off?

posted October 12, 2012 02:59 PM            

...That all being said, I think you need to drop your defenses and just get with a girl already! LOL

Perhaps I have a biased opinion here, since I am gay, but ... Look, you've talked about "lesbians" before, with a tone of fascination, and derision, as you fear the associated social stigma of such an ugly "label," and can't see beyond the stereotypes. So, this dream isn't out of the blue, for sure. Here in this dream you seem to be genuinely vulnerable to Katy's reactions to you. You interject the stereotypical "butch" character as the saboteur, perhaps as part of you fears perceiving yourself in this light... and/or fears being attracted to such.

...Did you ever explain what Katy Perry means to you? ...I think her Venus conjuncts her Uranus, in Sag. Obviously, she is very open in her self-expression and comfortable with her attraction to things outside the "mainstream," including women.

There still seems to be much of your own fears in the way of intimacy, however. There was much "drama" in the way! Still couched in that fantasy/movie-land environment that you've lived in, as you explained.

My 2 cents.

Some part of you must have some clue about this dream, Cinder. Is it as simple as I imagine?

I have faith that you'll get there... to embracing all of yourself, wherever that takes you. ...That's what I wish for myself, as well!