posted May 31, 2018 12:47 AM            

I wondered your thoughts on suicide as had a dream my boyfriend committed suicide but I only heard about it and was trying to reach him in time.

Could it also be disappointment in someone, feeling like giving up on someone?

posted May 31, 2018 11:06 AM            

I wonder if there's a correlation between the medical news you received about possibly having problems conceiving a baby in the future, and having to deal emotionally with what that could mean (or do) when you want to attract a relationship where you want a biological-DNA baby with any future partner?

Are you having emotional inner turmoil that is pushing him out of your life 'because' you might have a problem making a biological baby?

REF your dream on Embryo dying, from last December.
- http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum15/HTML/004156.html

Are you blaming yourself, feeling like your womanhood is failing you?

You know, I don't take things like a woman's powerful bio-urge and need to 'make a baby' lightly. It's IN our wiring, whether or not we would even in our likes or dislikes 'not' want to be a mother that raises a child.

To resonate with you on this....
I remember the kind of strange reaction I had once when I almost had to have a hysterectomy. There are psychological repercussions (especially if you have a maternal nature). I felt as though my womanhood was being taken away from me-- even when I was past my childbearing years.
(my uterus problem resolved its own self)

I've suffered a miscarriage before.
When you have 'bonded' with the idea of being a mother, and you lost that chance through the death of the fetus, it can throw you into a depression for a while.

I went through menopause.

Now... lol. It's definitely a 'blessing' not having to having to be subject to cycles and the hormone-adventures anymore.
My body is not able to conceive nor bear any more children because of age.

Sparkling … It is only a 'possibility' that you have a problem. Doctors make errors all the time.

But what a opportunity you have, to process something sooo human, so riveting. You can richly explore things about your psyche that others would never have the chance to know about themselves, the way their soul feels.

Now .... (you know I'm "practical" too..LOL)

Dreaming of suicide …
Sweetie! Are you okay? …. {{ }}

Dreaming of your boyfriend's suicide …
Is HE okay? … Have you checked in with him and how he's feeling? (just to make sure you're not psychically 'picking up' vibes from him-- why don't you bring up the subject with him directly?)

You might want to sit down with him, and discuss how you deeply feel about the "possibility" of your not having bio-children?

Do you think he will "reject" and leave you because of this????

TALK.
Talk it out.
Don't hold all that emotion all alone inside you.

posted May 31, 2018 11:21 AM            

It's OKAY if you do NOT want to be a mother.
It's completely freely YOUR choice.

If you didn't "want" to have a child, then, 'more power to you'. Not every woman with a womb is meant to be a mother.

In the olden days, those kinds of thoughts brought condemnation from the status quo.

This is a NEW day. A new era.
Women CAN choose.

Is your boyfriend trying to 'pressure' you into having kids with him, and maybe, you have "changed" your mind about wanting that for yourself? .. Now, you would fear having to speak to him about this? That you'd be afraid he'd be TOO disappointed in you that you 'changed' your mind about your future?

YOU are Important!
DON'T fall for the 'traditional' rules and mores, if that is NOT your way.

BE Free.
Discuss it, face it with him honestly, IF that's what has happened?

posted May 31, 2018 09:33 PM            

So lovely to hear from you.

Are you having emotional inner turmoil that is pushing him out of your life 'because' you might have a problem making a biological baby?

-Yes this definitely playing a role. I know that surgery next year will solve the problem ( a specialist reassured me that it will help significantly at least) but it did bring up my biological clock and issues around motherhood, womanhood and if I am a valuable partner if may not be able to procreate easily?

I did talk to my bf about all of this and his concern was the surgery itself and my well being.

The suicide dream is definitely me picking up his sad feelings at the moment as he is he looking for a job and not happy and we are in separate countries so trying to figure out the HOW to do this. I am concerned with his in action. So it is also both us of are being tested. His notions of masculinity, being able to provide financially etc and mine around womanhood.

In the dream, I was searching for him and someone told me he died. Perhaps the symbolism is also about the disconnect I feel at moment.

Sparkling

posted May 31, 2018 09:38 PM            

Do you think he will "reject" and leave you because of this????

This is exactly what I felt, that I would not be good enough for him or his family.

posted June 04, 2018 02:41 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by mirage29:
Sparkling…

So. Are you going to talk to him about it?

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Yes, I shall pluck up the courage : )