posted January 17, 2009 02:51 AM              

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I have been doing a bit of summer reading and wanted to share a book with you that I thought was a rather fair-minded view of domestic violence. The book Violent Partners: A Breakthrough Plan for Ending the Cycle of Abuse was written by lawyer and social worker, Linda Mills, who holds the controversial view that women can often be as violent as men. In an interview, Mills states:

Over 200 studies of violent relationships have confirmed a pattern: Of relationships that are violent, one quarter of the violent incidents are initiated by women and one-quarter are initiated by men. What may be most surprising, however, is that 50 percent of the cases involve men and women who are inititating violence against each other--there is a back and forth.

The book has a good chapter on the anatomy of intimate abuse with sections such as "Are Women as Violent as Men? and "The Feminist Backlash Against Those Who Speak Up." Mills states that women are more likely to report abuse than men and that men are expected to tolerate hurt feelings, abuse, and even injury, since it supposedly tests their manhood, and they are often taught that they should hide their suffering. Apparently, only 14% of men who have experienced significant incidents of intimate violence even bother to report it vs. women who report such incidents at twice the rate.

Mills points out that homicide statistics report that women are far more frequently killed by intimate partners than men are but another trend suggests that a different pattern is emerging:

The Department of Justice reports that between 1991 and 2000, the number of girls under eighteen convicted of aggravated assault crimes increased 44%, whereas for their male contemporaries, the percentage decreased by 16%. Similarily, crimes involving weapons increased 18% for girls while decreasing 29% for boys. These patterns have also been detected in reports of dating violence.

A study by Murray Straus published in 2008 reveals that approximately 30 percent of college students who are dating in the United States experience a physically violent episode in their relationships. Overall, Straus found that approximately 21% of thse violent incidents were initiated by women, 10 percent by men. As these young women move into adulthood, we may very well detect an increase in intimate violence among married couples.

While it is all well and good to report the research and I am glad that Mill's book sheds some light on the real gender stats, this research needs to translate into policy changes in domestic violence laws such as VAWA and predominant aggressor laws that unfairly target men. For in the coming years, if there is an increase in domestic violence due to women's increased participation, guess which gender will pay a legal price for that domestic violence and guess which will just get away with it more often

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Last year at the rehab centres i worked I , another pranaic healing psychiatrist and the centre Therapists who were intune with the cases of every individual female inmate found similar patterns...in the course of trying to create an emotional rehab course for them.

50 % of the inmates were in abusive relationships that were reciprocally violent. these women were also abusing their children, boys as well as girls.

Of the remaining , 50 %, around half were suffering from Masochistic personality disorder , a mental condition were the patient male as well as female look for situations and if not present aldready actively seek to create them, that involve masochistic behaviour. They went so far as to outright annoy their partners, many of whom were not abusive to begin with. One women flirted with others to make her husband jealous. Another admitted she actually felt LOVED everytime her husband slapped her.As convulating as it is , it is an offshoot of Narcissistic Personality disorder, where the patient thrives on being a victim and actively or passively creates situations that ensure thus.

posted January 17, 2009 02:53 AM              

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Anonymous said...

One of the guys at the Thanksgiving feast yesterday was a cop. We got to talking about the recent reports of women school teachers having sex with teen and pre-teen boys, domestic violence. And he admitted that in a fair percentage of the domestic violence calls he responds too, the aggressor is the female in the family. Usually a female who beats the kids bad enough that the adult male calls 911, or a situation where the adult female is the one beating the adult male. Or in our town that has a very large GLBT population, it is one woman severely beating their female partner. While the cops see reality, the average population still is indoctrinated to think of males as the predators, and females being the "innocent victim".

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Helen said...

To anonymous,

Yes, cops do see the reality and frequently they do take women to jail for domestic violence more so than they used to. You bring up a good point with the GLBT population-there is a fair amount of women beating other women which feminists choose to ignore as women are only supposed to be beaten by men.

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Sally said...

In my local paper the other day I read of two stories: one, a woman who claimed her boyfriend scalded her with a pot of boiling water. Said boyfriend was serving jailtime for an 8 year sentence when girlfriend's family spoke up. Girlfriend scalded herself to get the house that they both shared.

The second story involves a doctor and his patient. Doctor was undergoing litigation for accusations of sexually abusing a patient. Patient said doctor fondled her breasts. Doctor said it was a lie. Doctor's career is ruined, his family destroyed. His wife divorces him. Doctor's lawyer hires an investigator who discovers that the woman has made many false legal alligations in the past. As this comes up, charges are dropped. Said doctor's practice is still destroyed and his marriage is still ruined.

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Anonymous said...

I k now fo at least 3 incidents in academic circles, where the assumption that the man in question is a predator and the woman always the victim, has ruined the lives of 3 men I know. In one case, male math grad student is accused by estranged wife of molesting his 2-tr old daughter. Police rush in, leftist-feminist social workers and prosecutors swing into action and charge him and he is thrown in county jail. Mathematics Dept withdraws his felloship , and Univ starts procedure to expel him. However, soon thereafter, in a recorder conversation, said estranged wife tells a social worker that her allegations are false, and she made them out of spite, andthat she wanted to force him to concede his parental rights so that she got sole custody!!!!
Anyways, my friend is in limbo, cuz he is still facing trial, the toddler is in the grandparent's care, while the ex-wife is also under investigation, and is about to get indighted.
Net result is my friend's academic career is totally ruined, the toddler has suffered a lot, all becasue, a group of women fo=rensic social-workers and a Asst DA( a disciple of Catherine MacKinnon's ideology), took the "women are always the victim" theory to the extreme.
And god only knows what is going to happen in court next month!!!

The 2 other cases were when women a PhD student, and the second an undergrad, did not get the grades they thought they ought to have gotten, accused their professors of sexual harrasment and worse, and casued a lot of trouble for the 2 profs. Both women later admitted to having lied, yet, were not punished, but ordered to undergo "counselling" by the Disciplinary Committee. yet, both profs will have to now live with their reputation smaered.

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posted January 17, 2009 04:41 AM            

Written by a former boxer and a feminist (ETA: and raised by a single mother ), she's created waves talking about the potential of violence in, by, and from women. But don't think that this is a damnation of women or feminism in general, it's not. She explains how the denial of the power and threat of violence by women actually harms women as a whole, and that other feminists are misguided to try to hide it or shrug it off.

Your local library may well have a copy (and in the USA anyway you can ILL it if it doesn't). IMO, very much worth a read.

Another one about how vicious girls can be (primarily to other girls):
http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Bees-Wannabes-Boyfriends-Adolescence/dp/1400047927