Lindaland
  For Yellow Wax And The Ants
  My Sebastian-a poem of unrequited love

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   My Sebastian-a poem of unrequited love
whitewitch111
Knowflake

Posts: 3564
From: Hillsboro, OR, USA
Registered: Jan 2013

posted August 11, 2013 06:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for whitewitch111     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I found it kind of hard to follow iambic pentameter for this poem, but tell me what you think;

Sebastian my Sweet
How long have I been entrapped by your spell?
How much longer must I endure thy hell?
For my heart is a bird encaged,
That sings of a fašade so staged,
Take it! Take it I beg of you!
Take this awful feeling of love for you!
For I can't go on with your fire in my soul,
Thy sweet faces ceases to lull,
My stirring heart to slumber
And why is this you muster?
Because you will never be mine,
You've made it clear with your speech and sign,
That love me, you never will,
And my every feeling it does chill,
We cannot remain friends I am afraid,
Because it will literally kill my heart's aid,
So Good by my sweet Sebastian,
I wish you well in all you can,

IP: Logged

Pearlty
Moderator

Posts: 1720
From: Ohio
Registered: Jan 2012

posted August 12, 2013 09:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pearlty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

I feel finality in the thoughts/words. It also reads like a scene from a play, where the audience is privy to a conversation between two, and curious for the poem/scene to go on to hear the reply of the other..

IP: Logged

whitewitch111
Knowflake

Posts: 3564
From: Hillsboro, OR, USA
Registered: Jan 2013

posted August 30, 2017 06:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for whitewitch111     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Its been so long, since I wrote this. Pearlty I am sorry I didn't reply to your feedback. I am very honored you took the time to read it.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2000-2017

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a