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Author
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Topic: Numb
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Iced8Ace
Knowflake Posts: 97
From: CA
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted December 07, 2014 08:07 PM
  
I combined two poems to offset my vagueness a bit.Numb Hearts empty
I bled every spell
Every worry
Into making
nothing but mistakes
for you
I was misinterpreted
I pled again and again
They weren't having it
Whose consequence
But you meant it
Or was my heart
too numb to accept it?
feel something;
I wasn't absolute
in my desires
to never part with
us, lying to them
what made difference
ignited the sail boat
that set sail
the dreams I crafted
from every consequence
sunk lowly into the moon
lonely wind, biting ash
stars that weren't seen
blackened in passions mourning,
burning every sentiment that
thawed me out
IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 47375
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2014 02:40 PM
 IP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 3110
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 08, 2014 05:59 PM
Iced8Ace...  The Dreamer is the most excellent part of the dream. IP: Logged |
Pearlty
Moderator Posts: 823
From: Ohio
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted December 09, 2014 06:06 PM
Such a compass of phenomenal thought here.
Through numbness we alleviate some of the pain. IP: Logged |
Ayelet
Knowflake Posts: 549
From:
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted December 10, 2014 04:57 PM
So you weren't whole with yourself, with the "us" concept? But you did sail...
And does being "us" means lying to "them"?IP: Logged |
Iced8Ace
Knowflake Posts: 97
From: CA
Registered: Aug 2014
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posted December 10, 2014 08:35 PM
Thank you, Randall.  Mirage! So poignant.  I adore your replies. Definitely, Pearlty. Ayelet, I rarely write from my own perspective. I think whats confusing about this poem is numbness represents a sense of disillusionment behind the narrator's earnest efforts and "feeling" represents the reflection of one's self through their partner's lens and arriving at clarity. Sorry for the confusion. The second part of your question I left purposely ambiguous so you can choose whether or not to question the narrator there. I can say though that not being fully resolved is due to the numbing of their heart by their consistent efforts. The first question pertains to the dreams, the ideas and the work the narrator put into the relationship that set sail. The narrator softly accepts at the end, that everything they've done through this lens of devoting their trust in their partner is what mixed in with their earnest proposal and essentially killed it. "Stars that weren't seen" no one will see the narrators good intentions. Then there's the boat that sunk into oblivion, of course.... There's more but I hope it's clearer now. IP: Logged |
mirage29
Knowflake Posts: 3110
From: us
Registered: May 2012
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posted December 10, 2014 11:31 PM
I like the depth of your discussion Iced8Ace Ayelet, wonderful cosmic perspective. So much truth. Pain, and separation... No matter how deep your analysis goes, remember to step back and smile at yourself? BEing and reflecting with Others is a safe harbor... YOU , are not 'the sunk-Thing'... You are Something Else more than that! IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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