posted April 12, 2004 05:55 PM         

Thanks for all your love and kind words

posted April 13, 2004 02:46 AM         

I find it hard to love when its not received. Love is a gift, and rejection of gifts can be a very real pain. I view everyone as more than themselves. If someone is trying to hurt me, then I wonder how I may help them. Many times I feel like there is nothing I may do, but experience their attack on themselves - sometimes it seems mean to think that karma is our champion. That it will always prevail. That we should probably forgive people at any opportunities in order to lessen their negative karma, but really, what can you do for people? It is such a quandary.

As the mighty Pearl Jam has said (in "Love Boat Captain"):

"Is this just another day, this God forgotten place...

first comes love, and then comes pain, let the games begin.

Questions rise and answers fall, insurmountable...

Love Boat captian, take the reins and steer us towards the cliff, yeah, it's already been sung, but it can't be said enough, all you need is love!"

Walk in Peace,
Dean.

posted April 13, 2004 12:42 PM         

Love,

posted April 14, 2004 02:33 PM         

more!

posted April 14, 2004 04:17 PM         

Lovely Libra
how did you manage to forgive and how did you build your house stronger, any tips?

Yousay
Yousay I have been there and I felt so darn sorry for myself and would cry alot as I didn't understand and now I do, thank goodness-
when you learnt wasn't it too late?

Moondreamer
Or you'll move on up the later in this life, you won't let them get you down and you'll go to people with a higher vibration who "fit" you better and are more loving.

Tahariel you were very wise to stay positive.

Sesame
totally agree it is a quandry. My main delimma is when yourself is hurt, all your relationships with people have the same pattern, and if they don't value you at all you just want to eliminate them from your life. It's a natural reaction. The problem is that you will eventually have no one in your life, or the hurt is so bad that they've truly hurt you on such a deep level (they've crossed the line they know they shouldn't have) and you don't want them in your life even your family. You can never forget or forgive. Also sometimes it seems like it's just the persons' fate. It seems no matter what they do the results always turn negative and another person, not that they are better, just recieves love from everyone?

posted April 19, 2004 12:26 PM         

You are human, you have a spiritual side and a material side and you are not perfect. Yet your flaws are not to be your excuses, only your reasons. That you are human excuses nothing...it only explains a few things.

The fact that you feel a need for love in return IS human and normal for most, if not all, of us. Understand, however, that the need to receive in return comes from the material side of you, not the spiritual side. Matter wants, craves, takes, desires and requires in return. It gives only when it may gain from such giving.

The spirit gives without expectation of reciprocation. It gives because it can, and it can without end. If you only KNEW the amount of love that resides within us all; an endless supply.

Accept the love you receive, and you DO receive it, although perhaps you may be unaware of the sources.

Accept that love and then reradiate it where it is needed (which most often, is where you are LEAST likely to receive it in return.)

Be a spring, not a reservoir. A spring has a source, and the source flows constantly. A reservoir needs to be filled..usually from a spring. A reservoir gives only when it has received. A spring gives because it is the source of all giving and so it has of which to give.

You, myself...and everyone here is capable of giving love without receiving love because we ARE love, born of our Creator...Who is Love itself.

Don't sell yourself short. Yes you can and NO I'm not being unrealistic. (Perhaps a bit of a hypocrite, but certainly not unrealistic.)

Love, life and light to you,

daf

The prayer of Francis of Assisi:

LORD, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, let me sow pardon;
where there is discord, let me sow union;
where there is error, let me sow truth;
where there is doubt, let me sow faith;
where there is despair, let me sow hope;
where there is darkness, let me sow light;
where there is sadness, let me sow joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and
it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Amen.

posted April 20, 2004 10:23 PM         

Dean.

posted April 23, 2004 01:53 AM         

Illusions(and any other book) By Richard Bach

When Things Fall Apart (and any other book) By Pema Chodron

Power For the Abandoned Woman By Carolyn Gabriel

Oh hang on here's another
Skills Training Manuual for treating borderline disorder personality. by Marsha linehan ( is helpfull even for people without this diagnosses)(warning this one is slightly technical!! But very helpfull)

There are more at the library. I will look them up.

Some of the books I have read have a religiouse flavor, but dont let that put you off just take what rings true and insert higher power of choice for god. Assuming you believe in some higher power, I sugest it helps.
hang in there you are loveable.
I was amazed when I went to Europe and saw grafitii all over the beautiful works of art on the street. I realized that some people don't see the beauty of things they were raised with, Familiarity breeds contempt?
I also realized that just because some idiot didn't appriciate what they had didn't make it less beautifull.