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Topic: Is Guilt Selfish?
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Heart&Soul Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 27, 2004 04:17 PM
Lately I've wondered about the guilt in someone's passing on... If all of the open layers of guilt we feel (not saying goodbye, not telling them how much we loved them, etc.) could actually be open reflections of a much more subconscious and deep motivation... the guilt in Living. We cannot seem to help being subjective in this respect...looking at Ourselves and Our own lives...is our life truly cherished enough? Lived to it's fullest? Experienced as the Sacred and Divine gift that we Know it is? Surely such guilt has much potential for moving forward with growth... even Guilt can be a gift, if we take it as such.  IP: Logged |
sesame Moderator Posts: 532 From: Brisbane, QLD, Oz Registered: Nov 2003
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posted November 28, 2004 07:11 PM
Hmmm, much of what you've said has set me thinking. quote: Lately I've wondered about the guilt in someone's passing on... If all of the open layers of guilt we feel (not saying goodbye, not telling them how much we loved them, etc.) could actually be open reflections of a much more subconscious and deep motivation... the guilt in Living.
Very interesting concept, but if the people living in the afterlife felt absolute pure bliss, then wouldn't they feel guilty of leaving us behind? [quoteWe cannot seem to help being subjective in this respect...looking at Ourselves and Our own lives...is our life truly cherished enough? Lived to it's fullest? Experienced as the Sacred and Divine gift that we Know it is?[/quote] I can't help but argee with this line of thinking except I keep trying to remind myself that it's false. I mean, if you were constantly worried that you weren't doing enough you could harm yourself. You have to live with who you are, but I see your point on being inspired. However, I've learnt that knowing you don't have to do anything can be even more inspiring. Life is about living, and hence, the more you live, the more you feel worthy of life. It's not so much what you do, but how you do it. But then, what you say is absolutely true. I guess another way of looking at it, is if you put yourself in the passing persons shoes, would you be happy with your accomplishments? Ultimately, if you weren't, surely you could just come back and try again? I guess this is my point, that no matter what you do, you've experienced doing it yourself - no one else can claim that priveledge. quote: Surely such guilt has much potential for moving forward with growth... even Guilt can be a gift, if we take it as such.
Yes, I think there are many stories of people doing awesome things after they've realised the impermanence of their own lives. I wonder if Linda did this? I mean, I agree that she completely believed in Immortality, but at the same time, she was trying to express to everyone her thoughts based on a "short" life. If you felt you were immortal, you could very well write many books, but would you be re-writing a lot of them, or would you just accept that people either understand what you're saying, or to move on? Anyhow, I'm just saying life is indeed about living, and as much as I dislike the word indeed, I just keep using it! Dean. IP: Logged |
geminstone Knowflake Posts: 39 From: Golden, CO Registered: Nov 2004
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posted November 29, 2004 12:08 AM
Thank You LibraSparkle! That is what I have always said about guilt trips.... Hubby does'nt agree. I will not be made to feel guilty if what I did or said was done with intent, and was recieved in the same context. Yet, I still have the power to send him on a trip. I am working out if it is just being misinterpreted on his part. Not to say that I do and say only ' right ', I try to keep my mind open, and have had my share of ' eating crow'. But, not out of guilt. ~ geminstone
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sesame Moderator Posts: 532 From: Brisbane, QLD, Oz Registered: Nov 2003
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posted November 29, 2004 01:04 AM
Yes, I was going to say guilt trips are just a form of manipulation and hence if you're manipulative or susceptable to manipulation (as us 12 people can be) then they may work.Dean. IP: Logged |
Heart&Soul Knowflake Posts: 78 From: Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 29, 2004 03:04 AM
Yes, exactly, Dean. well said.  When I said "living life to its fullest"...I meant in the Now. Here. Not Doing, Not Striving, Not Searching...just BE-ing. Just Breathing the Moment...Cherishing it for what it is...not what it isn't. We Know that Time is an Illusion....graphed for Earth. We are always on the threshold...always at Now. The Future moment becomes Now as well...there is never a time outside of Now....unless we make it so. Unless we Live for another moment. As we've learned, we do make it more complex than we need to. There is nothing else we Need do but simply Be. It's not about accomplisments...aquired knowledge...bungy- jumping off of a bridge ....we needn't push ourselves so hard. There is nothing we need to prove. We are already HERE. THERE. All the striving and seeking only return us to Ourselves. "To the fullest"....I guess I believe that is just simply Living...being who we are...and not Needing for anyThing else. Cherishing it just as it is...Seeing the gifts all around us and joyous in fulfillment in Knowing that is enough. Sacred in ItSelf. Like your words on another thread...forgive me, forgot exactly how you said it, but bascially that you had come to believe that you are here to kick back and relax? Point on, Dean. You've got it, exactly.  Without ReLax, we have ReLapse.  Forgetting the meaning...that is, that Our Eyes create what we See....our Heart's songs create our Music. And if we don't hush the Noise that tempts our Selves astray into wandering from OurSelves...then, we hear not the Soul's Sacred Flowing....that All is flowing along as it was meant to....and Now is not to be rushed, but simply absorbed. Anyway...that's the Song I like to hear these days. 
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thirteen Knowflake Posts: 145 From: Rochester Hills, MI USA Registered: May 2004
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posted November 29, 2004 02:16 PM
OH MY ... has anyone ever read "The Power of Now" by E. Tolle? Wonderful stuff. It talks about emotions with a bit of a different perspective. I loved it and have to listen again ( and probably again and again...). Just wanted to mention it here because it applies to this discussion.IP: Logged |
mnovak Knowflake Posts: 4 From: Toronto, ON, CANADA Registered: Nov 2004
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posted December 01, 2004 11:06 AM
I think it all boils down to selfishness. Mostly because there are no choices you can make that are against your will of self interest. All choices you make are selfish, no matter what. Break them down to their beginings and see why you made it. I think guilt is probably the feeling you get when you can make the situation better for you. But feel bad that you didn't make the choice before because you might have been caught for doing something for example. Or you are having bad dreams, feel guilty and do something about. You will do something because you feel guilty but in turn you are doing it for a selfish reason.
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