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Author
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Topic: life sux wish i were fn dead
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delerious
Knowflake Posts: 800
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted September 05, 2005 05:08 AM
 
Boy, I don't know what's going on with the stars (any more experienced astrolgers care to enlighten me?) but everybody seems poised on the brink of the abyss..... we'll get through it.....IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 06, 2005 12:53 PM
MonadIf I got a euro for every time I said that I would be a fecking millionaire by now.......and now I cant BELIEVE I felt like that cos I feel so very much ALIVE now and glad to be here!!! Can you join a like minded group and talk, talk, talk about your challenges, or learn to channel your sadness thro some art form....music,dance etc....and I will, if you are willing send some healing light to you.....if you have a photo up that would help. I have been helped so much in the past, but I found the best and most rewarding breakthros for me were when I went to get help, instead of waiting for it to come. I would be happy to send light.....if you are.....if not thats fine......and I send love now
Sue G xxxx
IP: Logged |
monad
Knowflake Posts: 366
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted September 06, 2005 08:05 PM
Dear Sue,Thankyou for your reply. I will try to work with emotions productively. I have a Cancer sun. Someone with an earth sun on the other hand would perhaps best work with material things,
an air person deal with thoughts, and a fire person would perhaps best deal with energy productively. Being cardinal makes one a leader.
A fixed person would be good at carrying out the ideas of others.
A mutable person has the ability
to listen, and to be told what to do. (The Sun represents Self, but the moon represents the soul, or how the intent of the self is expressed) I have Moon in Libra. IP: Logged |
Kat
Knowflake Posts: 873
From: Cleveland, Ohio
Registered: Jan 2003
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posted September 06, 2005 08:15 PM
I'm a Cancer 12th house and have had my share of being clinically depressed for long periods. I'm slowly getting over a brief one I had for a few months.Take care it will pass.
Could you see yourself trying any of the following?Do a random act of kindness for someone else
Taking a walk somewhere scenic
Go swimming
Shampoo your hair into unusual shapes just for the fun of it
Make some hot chocolate with whole milk.
There has to be some interesting cultures in New Zealand. Could you go visit a cultural center?
What one small meaningful thing could you do for your toenails today?
Tear a piece of paper into unusual shapes
Mix flour, salt and water to make clay and create unusual objects.
Open a can of alphabet soup and write strange sentences.
Belch your national anthem. IP: Logged |
monad
Knowflake Posts: 366
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted September 06, 2005 08:16 PM
Yes, send light too.
-I am into music have you heard of fruity loops software?Three days after I posted the first message
in this thread I had a dream in which
I was kidnapped, lied to and about to be killed. Since then I dont want to die. And so I behold what I sought; a reason to live. A reason to love & and to do what I feel. Soundly with the knowledge,
that whatever light I can, and do shed,
is all what I could do and did.
IP: Logged |
Kat
Knowflake Posts: 873
From: Cleveland, Ohio
Registered: Jan 2003
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posted September 06, 2005 08:19 PM
cool, see how moods change? Now always remember that you are capable of weathering these types of storms when and if it happens again.IP: Logged |
monad
Knowflake Posts: 366
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted September 06, 2005 08:24 PM
I knew I would.IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5081
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 06, 2005 09:29 PM
Kat
I like you!  What unusual shapes have you made with your hair?
IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5081
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 06, 2005 09:37 PM
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Planet_Soul
Knowflake Posts: 1071
From: The Universe
Registered: May 2005
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posted September 06, 2005 09:50 PM
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kiwigirl
Knowflake Posts: 257
From: New Zealand
Registered: May 2005
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posted September 06, 2005 10:05 PM
Fellow Kiwi, I have been at this place too and look back now and wonder how I ever was that low.Hang on in there. That fighting kiwi spirit always sees us through. loving thoughts and healing coming your way...
kiwigirl x IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 07, 2005 10:03 AM
Hey MonadDo you wanna come to the pub with me on Friday......I am a bit of a fruity loop (its an english word for nutter LOL)....and that is BS about you never gonna be happy.......be outrageous, shock yerself......be free.....have fun.....you can. I am gonna send you a dose of my Irish craic......coming at you N O W - Love Sue G
Kat
You are cool, Iike your suggestions - wonerful stuff... xxx IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 919
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted September 07, 2005 10:59 AM
Monad, i was thinking about you last night at home. I wanted to say something but i dont know what. Yes, i have had my dark side too and now that I am approaching my menopause things got so bad that I started to take antidepressants 2 weeks out of the month. It has helped me a lot and I know that some here would not want me to promote them but I can't help thinking that in lieu of contemplating suicide it might be an option for you if things are really bad.
It sounds like you are doing ok now and Im happy to read it. Stay on track and don't give up. You seem to have some real depth about you and there must be a place in this world for that.IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4018
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted September 07, 2005 11:05 AM
I am pleased that you are feeling better. I am cancer sun, aqua moon. I battle with depression ALL THE TIME! Maybe we can help each other. Love and Light to you, sweet moonchild! IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 9227
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted September 07, 2005 01:04 PM
[totally joking]I wish you were fn dead, too!  IP: Logged |
Gooober
Knowflake Posts: 292
From: Dhaka, Bangladesh
Registered: Oct 2001
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posted September 07, 2005 01:15 PM
i'm tired of this life...this post seems like it shud've been started by me
sick of livin
i c no reason to live
feel like killin myself...IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 07, 2005 01:30 PM
Dont most people at some time in their life.......I met quite a few that felt that way.........growing older for some does bring its rewards......some become more mellow and accepting of themselves.......So you are not on your own peteen !! Love and life (although it may be fecking crap at times)!!
Sue G xxx
IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5081
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 07, 2005 01:37 PM
gooober~
You said "i c no reason to live"That just means you have to look harder.
Sometimes it is there without looking at all. It's eclipsed by sadness right now, but I have faith that you'll get out of it. If you ask people who have lost someone they loved through suicide.. they will always say.. "I wish I knew, I wish I could have stopped it and let them know how much I love them."
Always.
So perhaps you should look around you, and prevent that feeling of devotion and love from being shown after the fact.
Perhaps you can take a look around you and see it without barriers.
If you feel this way, no doubt you feel everything.
It is hard to live in this life as a feeler.
Show a loving kindness, no strings.. be a loving person, and you will open the door.
IP: Logged |
Gooober
Knowflake Posts: 292
From: Dhaka, Bangladesh
Registered: Oct 2001
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posted September 08, 2005 03:21 AM
i've really bin struggling against feelin like this for a pretty long time now.
but itz hard to expect a miracle when life is constantly shoving smething up ur @$$.
how am i supposed to believe in love?all i gave was love n i don expect a lot in return..maybe some honesty at the very least?
i feel so messed up...i know there r ppl who care very very much...hell u don even know me n u care  but i don know i jus feel like i'm on the edge...where do i look for a reason to live?IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 08, 2005 03:35 AM
Goober,If you dont mind me asking, how old are ye? In my teens and 20s where love was concerned, my life was Shi!e,,,,and my career,,,,,everything was too much of a struggle I am now 46 and feel like my life is just about getting together,,,,,I found true love at my saturn return....moved to a beutiful place, got married for the third time, gave birth and almost lost my life to a lovely boy. Take heart,,,,,life can improve.....and as the old addage goes "dont let the ******** grind you down".... Love to you
Sue G xxx
IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5081
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 08, 2005 09:14 AM
Gooober, MOnad.....Look to Sue g as well... it does happen, despite itself. It is up to you to look around.. truly, without the veil of unhapiness clouding you... look around, take deep breaths.. and you tell me what moves you. Tell me when you feel the happiest, when your soul cries out in joy.
Was it in the way the clouds change shape? The way rain pattering on a window made you realize natures' percussion was a great way to pass the time....
Did you roast marshmallows and talk with friends over a campfire?
Did anyone look in your eyes and tell you they love you?
Have you? Look to humble things, without expectation, without complaint.. what, at its core brings you joy?
I know they are there.. and I want you to think of them.. as a child, no judgements... From the very core of you.
What are you? You are not your job, that is what you do.
What do you do and bring here that you know makes a difference?
I am not asking you to defend, I am asking you to share. I really want to understand.
IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted September 08, 2005 11:50 AM
Oh sweet Pixie, you are a true true asset to LL and the world......how I am still wishing I was a bloke so I could whisk you away and have my wicked way with you LOL !!  IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5081
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted September 08, 2005 01:12 PM
Sue
I love you tooIP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4018
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted September 08, 2005 03:16 PM
Goober are you male or female????
Soogie and Pix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IP: Logged |
Gooober
Knowflake Posts: 292
From: Dhaka, Bangladesh
Registered: Oct 2001
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posted September 09, 2005 04:21 AM
to answer bluemoon's question first,cuz itz the easiest to answer...i'm female.
now for pixelpixie...wat moved me most was when my special person told me he loves me, wants to marry me.n we did get married.in fact we're still married..by paper only.i don know wat went wrong,but all of a sudden he says he doesnt love me anymore,he doesnt want this marriage anymore.i wanted to know wat it was tht i did to push him away,to drive him into drugs,but apparently itz not my fault.itz all his fault cuz hez fallen out of love withh me cuz i'm too good for him.i'm too decent,too devoted too living for him.he doesnt deserve me ,so he doesnt love me anymore.but he doesnt want to leave me,he wants me to leave him,becuz how can i live with someone who doesnt wanna give me anything,anything at all anymore?
when the person you consider your soulmate gives you such crap,wat can you say to him? n wat are you supposed to feel?
i think wat hez sayin is all crap i think itz jus his success as a musician has gone to his head n now he wants to live the 'high' life. he wants to sleep around and maybe hez bin doin it behind my back for all i know cuz i used to trust him blindly so never asked him any questions abt anything.i've asked him whether hez havin an affair,but he says no.i know he was havin a drug problem,but he wont talk to me,wont lemme get close or anythin.
his family has always hated me n they'r all encouraging him in wat hez doin...n in our country marriages do break up cuz the mother-in-law doesnt like the daughter-in-law cuz shez jealous tht shez takin her son away.
i gave up everythin for my husband.i loved him deeply n now i feel like my whole world has come crashing down..which it has.i'm jus gettin thru each day thinkin of my family n how they'r gonna feel if i kill myself.or else i wudn't have hesitated.
tell me pixie,is this really gonna get better?i'm jus not tht sure of anythin anymore...IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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