Mother Love ? - Lindaland

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Author	Topic: Mother Love ?
sue g Knowflake Posts: 7162 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted March 23, 2006 04:32 PM jkxx I think she talked of herself..... Those who dont love themselves cant love others.... Bless you.... IP: Logged
Girl of the Water Knowflake Posts: 101 From: Pennsylvania Registered: Mar 2006	posted March 23, 2006 04:55 PM I can understand if the mother was abusive. My mom isn't like that, but I dislike her... I just don't see her as a good person but at least she was never abusive towards me. My boyfriend absolutely hates her, though, and it makes me really uncomfortable sometimes. But of course I still love her, I can't see why someone wouldn't love their mother if she treated them right... IP: Logged
ILove Knowflake Posts: 178 From: Winter Haven, FL Registered: Jan 2005	posted March 24, 2006 12:00 AM It seems my mother and I are at odds a lot. I was upset with her a few weeks ago and my dad said to me, "How will you feel if in 15 years or so, your kids put you under the microscope for all your bad decisions?" I was silenced, because the last thing I would want is the pain of my child in the years to come picking at me. I think sometimes I am still the little girl who got her feelings hurt way too often and need to view our mother/daughter relationship as a more mature women and forgive the past. It is hard though. Of course my path with mom is not near as strained as some of your stories, so I can only speak for me, but I have woke up or grew up since dad said this to me. And my mom wouldn't believe her ex stuck up for her, a little love left after all these years. I think forgiveness is key even if you decide to not continue the relationship. It heals you if nothing else. Just my thoughts. Amy IP: Logged
sesame Moderator Posts: 1365 From: Oz Registered: Nov 2003	posted March 27, 2006 07:28 AM ... IP: Logged
sesame Moderator Posts: 1365 From: Oz Registered: Nov 2003	posted March 27, 2006 07:30 AM I love my mum, and feel very sorry for her. There's so much she could've done and been, but her choices derailed her path. My motto to her is "While there's life, there's hope". She's a Cappie. I personally think she doesn't want to get old so is trying to shorten her life. The problem is, as she keeps failing, I guess she's making her stronger to do it again later. Its just embarressing and you can't communicate with her or understand anything. It's like a drama. I don't have any animosity towards her, I just wish she could understand a little more about life... Well, where there's still life hey? IP: Logged
sesame Moderator Posts: 1365 From: Oz Registered: Nov 2003	posted March 27, 2006 07:31 AM On a side note, Sue, did you know Pearl Jam was founded on a band called Mother Love Bone? Never really understood this name, but maybe this thread brings a little light http://www.student.nada.kth.se/~f95-rca/MotherLoveBone/mlb.html Heaps of Love, Dean. IP: Logged
LeoSweetHeart Knowflake Posts: 539 From: Registered: Nov 2004	posted March 29, 2006 09:53 PM My mother sounds a lot like many of you, surviving her childhood with a mother who neglected and verbally abused her and then becoming a terrific mother herself in spite of it. I admire my mother for being sooo loving towards me when she was never really shown how to. She said she only remembers her mom spending the day with her once when she accidently hit her too hard and hurt her mouth, out of guilt. She had 7 brothers and sisters. Child bearing was more like a societal obligation than a chance to love and nurture new souls into this world. When my mom tried to leave the house looking pretty for dates or something, my grandma would call her vain and slutty. And the examples go on.. I can hardly believe my mom came from an environment like that because we are closer to each other than any other people in our lives. She gave me more love than I could ever ask for and I will always be greatful to her for making loving others that much easier. I feel it would be much more difficult if she weren't that way. Anyways I wanted to share this for those of you who may have doubts about their own parenting being effected by their mothers/ parents. I have no doubt you all are or will be excellent mothers by the love you exude in your posts. IP: Logged
pixelpixie Moderator Posts: 4551 From: Ontario Canada Registered: Jun 2005	posted March 29, 2006 11:07 PM Leo Sweetheart, You are a lovely lovely woman. Thank you for your words of hope and encouragement and the personal story. IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 7162 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted March 30, 2006 12:07 PM Pixie.... Leosweetheart.......Indeed a true sweetheart for sure..... Lovely words.....lovely sentiment..... Yer mother must be very proud of you and you of her !! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Hey Sesame Thanks for your post... Will go in and look at the link you posted....thanks xx IP: Logged
LeoSweetHeart Knowflake Posts: 539 From: Registered: Nov 2004	posted March 31, 2006 04:19 PM Thanks you two fabulous scorpio darlings! I have a strong sense you both are great examples of loving mothers, your children are lucky to have such loving, and Cool (extra bonus) moms! IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 7162 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted March 31, 2006 07:24 PM Leo Sweetheart Thanks....for your words...very kind and comforting !! I keep getting visions of me and Pix dancing on a huge wooden floor together, really letting it to, had this for months, Of course our sons would be mortified.....hahahaha.... I was told before our son arrived that he would go to school and say to his friends that "my mum is a bit crazy but cool"....the crazy bit I hear, but not cool,,,,,hahahahaha!!! love xxxx IP: Logged
Kat Knowflake Posts: 851 From: Cleveland, Ohio Registered: Jan 2003	posted April 01, 2006 02:32 PM My guess is that my father did not love his mother. She was very cold and stern. So he married my mother who was like a warm puppy dog and loved everybody unconditionally. Unfortunately, my father was abusive when i was a child and it has taken many decades to heal the wounds - and they have miraculously been healing. One day after reading a book I realized that if I am equal to my father in the eyes of God and I know better then it was up to me to heal the past and show him how to do it. He only acted the way he did because that is what he knew and did not know any differently. I gave up the anger and being right and justified and chose to have a relationship with my father. That healing has taken a huge load off me more than you can know. We actually get along pretty good today! I actually called him Dad the other day! Love and light to all IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 7162 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted April 01, 2006 03:39 PM "I gave up the anger and being right and justified" Well done Kat....many never do this. I didnt manage to start this process until I was in my 30s. My sister, however, at age 52 is still angry with my parents. It takes much courage, humility and understanding to forgive, and maturity of course...... Your father must be very proud of you, even if he may never tell you...... I love reading these stories.....so heartwarming...... You have achieved something so amazing here..... xxx IP: Logged
LeoSweetHeart Knowflake Posts: 539 From: Registered: Nov 2004	posted April 03, 2006 07:30 PM Hi Sue! Sorry I missed that post, but I'm here now. Even if they don't admit it, your kids must love that your crazy. Crazy= Cool. What kid wouldn't? Sure they might go through a stage where they are certain moms shouldn't be crazy and do unmomlike(its a word I swear)things like dance, laugh hysterically, play outside etc. in public because you might "embarrass" them..but that doesn't last long. You know things reserved for kids. lol Mostly I think they'll run alongside of you and be your children, friends and playmates! Thats what me and my mom are to each other... picture the Gilmore Girls IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 7162 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted April 04, 2006 07:51 AM Thankyou LeoSweetheart Very sweet indeed !!!! IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 7162 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted April 05, 2006 02:41 PM I just asked my husband if he had sent his mother a card for mothers day (it was a couple of weeks ago).....and he answered "no" Oh, maybe I am too sensitive, but I felt sorry about this, for her and for him........ I am wondering how he would feel if this was our son...? IP: Logged
Full-fifthhouse-loulou Knowflake Posts: 253 From: Beautiful England Registered: Mar 2006	posted April 06, 2006 09:48 AM People have so much pain that I am reading, and some people have so much courage and compassion too. Sue from your posts you sound like a wonderful mother, and leosweetheart, well what a leo sweetheart!! I have so many issues with my mother but I learned to overlook and forgive. Our history is painful. She made mistakes. But that's what they were. If I constantly think about them I start to feel ill. So I let it go. Just let it go. Where does the anger and hurt get us? Nowhere. When I'm angry at her I imagine the day when she isn't here and it fills me with so much pain that I let the anger go. It isn't worth it. To err is human. To forgive is divine. Lots of love to all the hurting children whose mothers let them down xxx ------------------ I just want to love and be loved! - Marilyn Monroe, 1955 IP: Logged
sue g Knowflake Posts: 7162 From: former land of the leprechaun Registered: Sep 2004	posted April 06, 2006 01:38 PM Full-fifth Lovely and sincere words you speak A while back my mother started to cry and said "we didnt always do the right things by you....sorry....we did out best" I was massaging her feet at the time and when I looked into her eyes i saw a child in there, despite that she was in her late 70s at the time. She then clammed up and said "oh I am sorry"...... I held her like a baby and encouraged her to sob....she said she didnt normally cry much.....but that look which passed between us, which seemed like forever......said it all....she wept like a baby and I felt so humbled to be there for her. I told her how much love I felt for her and that it way okay,,,,,we are all human. How can we not forgive,,,,,and if we dont,,,,,how can we go on to forgive ourselves and be good mothers? love IP: Logged
fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 5816 From: ~out looking for Schrodinger's cat~ Registered: Mar 2005	posted April 06, 2006 02:57 PM Well people...just keep in mind the replies on page one of this thread. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/001986.html "Forgiving" does NOT mean "allowing" a long term Alcoholic, Crazy, Addicted, and or Abusive "mother" to "continue abusing" you. ------------------ ~I intend to continue learning forever~"Fayte" ~I am still learning~ Michangelo The Door to Gnosis is never permanently locked...one only needs the correct keys and passwords. The pious man with closed eyes can often hold more ego than a proud man with open eyes. Out of the mouth of babes commeth wisdom that can rival that of sages. In the rough, or cut and polished..a diamond is still a precious gem. -NEXUS- IP: Logged

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