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Author
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Topic: Turning to God
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aquaspryt69
Knowflake Posts: 424
From: Arizona
Registered: Feb 2004
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posted November 26, 2006 08:22 AM
 
I can totally relate to what you're saying about your dad and his feelings of worthlessness, Sue.
It is proving to be a very difficult issue for me to deal with in my sobriety. I have no problems praying for others and being truly thankful, but to ask for anything for myself I experience strong feelings of selfishness and worthlessness. Everybody else is worthy of love, forgiveness and acceptance. Just not me.
I know, I'll say a prayer that lumps me in with everybody else who thinks and feels this way!  IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 2911
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted November 26, 2006 11:14 AM
Only love to you and yours, Soogie!IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 7084
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 26, 2006 11:23 AM
aquaspry  Will you try something...? Either sit, or get down on yer knees and say aloud "Please God help me...". Once you have said it...it may come more naturally. You may wish to emphasise the ME... Afterwards if you feel guilty for this, you may wish to remind yourself that you are no use to anyone else until you feel whole and loved....  Blue, As always....thanks girl...  x IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
Knowflake Posts: 424
From: Arizona
Registered: Feb 2004
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posted November 27, 2006 05:04 AM
Sue~ I will try this even though it feels totally selfish and wrong. Funny thing about this is I thought I had stopped blaming myself. Siiiiigh It's so frustrating.IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 7084
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 27, 2006 05:16 AM
aquaWhen I gave birth to our son 8 years ago, I nearly lost my life. Emergency c/section then lots of blood loss.... Had I not prayed like mad to God, I dont think I would be here now, so therefore our son wouldnt have had a mother. When I was recovering, I felt hands on my knees and head, thinking it was a midwife, I said "thankyou", when I opened my eyes, no one was there.... When our house set on fire, i thought it would burn to the ground....I sat our son on the wall outside and said "now start praying hard...please God dont let our house burn down" he replies "dont worry mum its only half a fire, God is listening". The fire stopped...the firemen arrived just in time and we only lost a third of the house....they told us it was the only house in the last month that hadnt burnt to the ground. Because I prayed for myself and my family, I am still alive and still have a home... When I went for a reading recently the medium said to me that our fire was put out by a spirit man, an ancestor of mine..... aqua.....listen girl....you are not selfish...what is wrong with wanting to be whole, healthy and happy, and just think in the future when you feel this way, how many people around you will benefit... and trust... xxx IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
Knowflake Posts: 424
From: Arizona
Registered: Feb 2004
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posted November 27, 2006 08:39 PM
Sue~I totally believe in the power of prayer. I, too, have witnessed many miracles. That story about your house is truly amazing!
Thank you for your kind words and I will keep "practicing" with small "me prayers" until I get to feeling more comfortable about it. I'll keep praying for your dad, too. IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 7084
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 28, 2006 04:56 AM
aqua Thanks I used to be a lot like you in as much as I would always pray and do for others, but not myself. It took that NDE to make me realise that we have to look after ourselves before we can help each other! If it eases the burden of guilt, maybe you could say "please God help me so I may go on and help others".... This may take away any feelings of selfishness for you... Love and luck Sue IP: Logged |
aquaspryt69
Knowflake Posts: 424
From: Arizona
Registered: Feb 2004
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posted November 29, 2006 05:22 AM
How funny, but that's exactly how I've been phrasing my prayers. Help me so that I may help others. Whatever works, right? IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 7084
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 29, 2006 05:51 AM
Whatever works....whatever gets you through... x IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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