posted October 11, 2007 02:09 PM         

Ok, this is my long story/question (please bear with me this being my first post and all)...

This past year I have been struggling with getting over my ex-boyfriend and it has been painful and heartbreaking to say the least. Not a day goes by where I do not regret my rash decision to end things and I still have feelings for him. We tried the friend route but he always winds up ignoring me after a while with no explanation (we tried twice). Anyways, I needed to tell you that background information so you could make better sense of my question.

I am pretty sure I have been experiencing signs. Now I don't know whether these signs are my imagination running wild and I am hoping I am seeing things when I am not or if these are actual, real signs. I am hoping someone can clear that up for me. I just want to know why this is happening and if anyone can give me some insight. I will explain now what I think are the signs.

For the past year about 90% of the time when I think about my ex I either see his model car he used to drive while I am driving (it was an old beat up car from the 80s and I didn't think many people had it which is odd that I see it so frequently), I see his name (for instance, on TV) or hear it. I am constantly reminded of him in the weirdest ways.

I also frequent a particular mall in a nearby town. One day I had this overwhelming urge to buy a particular product that I knew I could find in a store there. It was as if I couldn't wait. I hadn't been looking up when a salesperson approached me and he asked if I needed help. I looked up to tell him what I wanted and I immediately froze. He is the spitting image of my ex except a different race. The same hair, teeth, ect. Thankfully my mom was with me and verified to me how similar he looked to my ex. Borderline eerie. I have never experienced anything quite like it before. Weeks later my brother and a friend of mine saw him and could not get over the resemblance. I need to mention that while I was dating my boyfriend I NEVER saw this person when I went to this mall and I go to this mall A LOT. I only started seeing him some months after we broke up and I have seen him countless times so far in the time span of a few months.

About 99% of the time when I go to the mall he is there. One time I was at the opposite side of the mall (from where his store is) and he happened to be on his break (I suppose) and walked right past me when I wasn't anywhere near where he works and purposely avoiding where he does.

Another time, I was in another store with my mom and low and behold there he was. He was not working because he didn't have his store uniform on and he happened to be with his girlfriend. We were flabbergasted.

What worries me is that perhaps I am digging to deep for some sort of sign that him and I will get back together or cross paths again. I am fearful that I am blurring reality and illusion when it comes to my ex.

posted October 11, 2007 03:07 PM         

I also tend to ask myself, is this a good thing or a bad thing that I am constantly bombarded with these signs? I often wonder is it God's handy work or Satan's. Am I experiencing these signs because it is God's way of sending me positive messages/reinforcement that my ex loves me or does Satan see my weakness (my love for my ex) and he is using it to his advantage and purposely bringing me down. *(I don't mean to offend anyone with my references to God and Satan/my beliefs but in telling you my whole story I felt it needed to be included because that is how I think. So please no one take offense)*

Also, the last time I saw my ex's "twin" he was with his girlfriend (or so I assumed). Maybe that was my final sign to show me my ex is not speaking to me again because he has moved on with another.

There are just so many ways to interpret the signs! It can be very overwhelming.

Is there a way I can think more clearly to help me find out what they could possibly be telling me? I am so desperate for answers and closure on this.

posted October 11, 2007 06:20 PM         

I'm not saying this to be rude or to offend, but perhaps you might need some counseling. I've been through counseling for years and having a third person, objective and professional opinion helps put things in order, especially feelings, when we're having trouble ourselves.