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Author
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Topic: How to Deal with Toxic People....
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BiBi DeAngelo
Knowflake Posts: 283
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 18, 2007 01:45 AM
 
> Beware of Garbage Trucks
> by David J. Pollay
>
>
> How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a
> bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your
> day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back
> on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly one
> can get back their focus on what's important.
>
> Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New
> York City taxi cab. Here's what happened.
>
> I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were
> driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a
> parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks,
> skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches!
>
> The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident,
> whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi
> driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly.
> So, I said, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and
> sent us to the hospital!'
>
> And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, 'The Law of the
> Garbage Truck.'
>
> 'Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full
> of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage
> piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it
> on you.
>
> When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally. You just
> smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did.'
>
> So this was it: The 'Law of the Garbage Truck.' I started thinking, how
> often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take
> their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the
> streets? It was that day I said, 'I'm not going to do it anymore.'
>
> I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie 'The Sixth Sense,' the
> little boy said, 'I see Dead People.'
>
> Well, now 'I see Garbage Trucks.' I see the load they're carrying. I see
> them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a
> personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.
>
> One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this
> every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the
> ground after being tackled.
>
> He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best.
> Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting.
>
> Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school
> with hugs and kisses. Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully
> present, and at their best for the people they care about.
>
> The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take
> over their day.
>
> What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let
> more garbage trucks pass you by?
>
> Here's my bet. You'll be happier.
>
> Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...
> Love the people who treat you right.
> Forget about the ones who don't.
> Believe that everything happens for a reason.
> If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
> If it changes your life, LET IT!
> Nobody said it would be easy...
> They just promised it would be worth it!
>
IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Moderator Posts: 1064
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted November 18, 2007 01:53 AM
I enjoyed this. Thank you.IP: Logged |
yourfriendinspirit
unregistered
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posted November 18, 2007 02:33 AM
Beautiful and insightful article...
Thank you for sharing this BiBi  ------------------
Sendin' love your way,
"your friend in spirit"  IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
unregistered
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posted November 18, 2007 08:10 AM
Wow. This is amazing.
I've bookmarked this page- it's one worth reading over.This is a very powerful article indeed. Just a few simple words that have the ability to heal and transform ourselves as well as the world. IP: Logged |
SimpleMe
unregistered
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posted November 18, 2007 09:21 PM
ARE THERE TOXIC PEOPLE???????very surprised! IP: Logged |
Solane Star
unregistered
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posted November 19, 2007 12:05 AM
Nice BiBi DeAngelo!!!!BiBi DeAngelo, I have been taking My Garbage out for yrs now in " GLAD HEAVY WEIGHT TRASH BAGS " !!! Don't get mad, GET GLAD HEAVY WEIGHT TRASH BAG and KICK IT TO THE CURB!!!! I also Buy CLEAR HEAVY WEIGHT TRASH BAGS now, just in case other's would enjoy some window shopping!!! LOL!!!! Thanks!!!
IP: Logged |
BiBi DeAngelo
Knowflake Posts: 283
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 19, 2007 01:31 AM
Glad you all are enjoying this article...I remember one day when a Biker pulled out in front of me from no where... wasn't watching where he was going.. I gentle taped my horn to let him know I was there. He stopped his bike right in the middle of the road... came walking to back to my car... I rolled down the window...
took off my sun glasses so he could look me in the eyes...
I told him I didn't mean to offend him by honking.. I was merely attempting to communicate I was there... He gave me his look of I"m parking my garbage on you...
I told him.. look who ever put you into this mood.. you need to go deal with them.. I don't need to pay the price for something someone did to you... He jerked his body...
took his glasses off..
looked me in the eyes...
and said.. You're Right! Got back on his bike and Tore out of there... Sometimes kind and gentle people can be perceived as a safe place to dump...
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Solane Star
unregistered
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posted November 19, 2007 07:47 AM
One day while driving down the street a Lady pulled out right in front of me and I almost hit her. She produced on and while watching her as she drove away, much to my surpise, I noticed that she was hitting hers-elf with her open hand in the side of her head, as if to say STUPID, STUPID STUPID ME!!! Oh My, at that very moment all I could think was holy, she's really beating hers-elf up for this one. To much so, but I see so many attaching to such issues and taking it all so personal and this leading into some kind of road rage for others. Sad sometimes that people just don' get that.When I was alot younger, when ever others picked on me, I would just go out of my way to say have a Great Day, or to say Hi!!! This would always mess with anothers head, because if they where not being very nice and blaming you, this kind of behaviour would always throw one right off. Like why she being so nice, makes one think??? Its usally not you thats bugging or p!ssing them off anyways, It usally has longer roots, then that of you!!!! IP: Logged |
Urania*
unregistered
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posted November 19, 2007 04:29 PM
I disagree actually. I used to believe too that reacting to rude or cruel people in the same manner is useless and stupid. I used to say that ignoring someone who's trying to get on your nerves is the best revenge. In the last year though I changed my views. You owe it to yourself to react accordingly. You need to fight back, maybe slap a few faces in order to not get completely numb. Yes I said slap. Nothing than a good old slap to get your blood boiling. Certaintly better than feeling numb all the time. Anger is there for a reason. Express it. Do not repress it. This way you won't obsess over people's bad behaviour towards you. I was fired a few months ago. I left that job, showing no emotion, no reaction. I pretended I didn't care. When people asked how I felt about it, I made jokes. Pretty pathetic. Why didn't I say anything? What was I afraid of? Months later and I still feel hatred and frustration towards my former boss and co-workers. If I had said something then, If I raised my voice a little, If I left slamming the door, I really think I'd feel alot better today.
If only I read "Veronika Decides to Die" a few months earlier.
IP: Logged |
Obe
Knowflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 20, 2007 03:18 PM
when angry people pass their anger to us and we don't deserve it, if we ignore it we are only adding it to our own garbage, and it will resurface to be dumped on someone who doesn't deserve it later, that is currently the biggest problem in the world actually. We are denying instinct. Of course though, having learned how to deal with the energies we receive day to day is natural, and we can take the energy of anger and send it back to its source in a way that will teach the lesson that needs to be learned directly. This can equally be done with both the 'knowledge' and 'feeling' of what you are doing, through which of course you will want to be kind because you will feel what that person is needing, or it can be done through 'feeling' alone, in the divisive attempt to defend "oneself". I'm not saying I know which way is better, in fact I know I don't 'know' anything, just that that's how things can be. it's hard though, because,it's all situational to me, I think every situation is unique, and of course that is what wisdom (intuition) is for, helping us deal with "new" circumstances...what can I say? we should always follow what we feel is rightIP: Logged |
Mannu
Knowflake Posts: 45
From: always here and no where
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 20, 2007 03:34 PM
Yeah the guy who pulled out of parking space should have given right of way to the taxi.I like NYC because people tell you on the face what they think. No sugar coating. If he was a true taxi driver, he would not have kept quiet when this other person defended himself. Everything is situational indeed. IP: Logged |
MUSTANG
unregistered
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posted November 20, 2007 03:47 PM
I really needed that, thanks!IP: Logged |
SimpleMe
unregistered
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posted November 26, 2007 07:34 AM
I also think that you must never let anyone to critisize you in a very negative way which takes your self assurance away. The way perhapsto deal with people who is negative about the issue and you in particular is to say in reply:" I ve done really good job! and then explain whatever reasons..." or "I ve done my best here and in fact I an excellent scientist/mum/artist etc" You will find that people who there to take your self esteam away will be in shock and have nothing to say People who are there to support willagree and add their suggestions to improve! Another trick to pretend for a minute that its not you there but someone else who sees the situation from the side - no emotions. Just pure kindness and love. No fear or sadness or frustration thats all not fair! TRY IT- it works )))))) PS you should have seen the face expression of one bullie - garbage truck - heheh when i ve told her that i ve done an excellent job and gave her full on explanation why i beleive so! she walked away carrying her garabage with her sour face!! IP: Logged |
BiBi DeAngelo
Knowflake Posts: 283
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 30, 2007 02:00 PM
Simple Me....  IP: Logged |
fayte.m
unregistered
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posted November 30, 2007 03:41 PM
SimpleMe IP: Logged |
fayte.m
unregistered
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posted November 30, 2007 03:42 PM
Urania* & Obe  IP: Logged |
fayte.m
unregistered
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posted November 30, 2007 03:43 PM
Mannu 
IP: Logged |
fayte.m
unregistered
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posted November 30, 2007 03:44 PM
BiBi DeAngelo IP: Logged |
BiBi DeAngelo
Knowflake Posts: 283
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 09, 2009 01:04 PM
bumping up....had to use this information yesterday on the freeway.... IP: Logged |
VinayM19
Knowflake Posts: 63
From: Planet Earth
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 12, 2009 06:48 PM
@BiBi
Thanks for info on this topic.------------------
ahaaaaaa IP: Logged |
Lei_Kuei
Knowflake Posts: 23
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 13, 2009 03:03 PM
Cool  I try to adopt the same philosophy as that taxi driver as much as one can IP: Logged |
BiBi DeAngelo
Knowflake Posts: 283
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 28, 2009 12:00 PM
I"m so glad you enjoyed reading this take on life! I use it weekly .. driving the insane free ways in Los Angeles.... 5 lanes on both side and we still have traffic issues!
IP: Logged |
BiBi DeAngelo
Knowflake Posts: 283
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 25, 2009 03:46 AM
Bumped up for the person who sent me a private email asking where this article was posted...enjoy! IP: Logged |
cat lover
Knowflake Posts: 33
From: Nottingham, UK
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 07, 2009 04:02 PM
I agree sometimes you can't just ignore the problem otherwise it will just keep replaying in your head and it will drive you crazy.
Sometimes the the issue has to be addressed or aired, but in the right context of course!
IP: Logged |
stopandstare
Knowflake Posts: 155
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted August 07, 2009 07:07 PM
this is funny since i've been trying to break away from toxic people. it's hard though. i'm like the person who helps the toxic people in my life not be as toxic but like yeah it wears me down. my good friend told me how he taught me what i should do about this situation and should i get burned again by these toxic people, he'll slap me upside the head if i come crying to him again  definitely love those who are good to you and just distance yourself from the toxic ones. however, i feel as if the toxic people are also the most hurt people and need some help. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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