posted January 11, 2009 10:43 PM         

Maybe I over-reacted a little.

I just had high hopes for this thread, lol.

No big deal.

I'm not hurt.

I'm sorry if I was harsh.

posted January 11, 2009 10:56 PM         

I'll come up with something better any minute now.

I just cut ties with a girlfriend and a best friend in the last few days,
so, if I am a little touchy right now, that may have something to do with it.

posted January 12, 2009 02:26 PM         

quote:

---

another curious notion.... this is to anyone...when you close your eyes, and push the palms of your hands into the closed sockets...what do you see?

---

Visions.

posted January 12, 2009 09:26 PM         

You didn't start it, I did. But I apologized, and as far as I'm concerned it's over.

posted January 12, 2009 11:00 PM         

quote:

---

But I will visit this thread again ( don't worry HSC ,without posting) just to laugh at those pictures, to me humor where I least expect it is THE best kind, thanks!!

---

I'm glad you found something to suit your taste, girl, even if it was the turd. For me, there was nothing at all unexpected about that.

posted January 12, 2009 11:26 PM         

[edited]

posted January 12, 2009 11:27 PM         

I'm not joking, or being sarcastic,or trying to provoke more outburst.
I am trying to come to an understanding of what is going on.

posted January 12, 2009 11:34 PM         

quote:

---

What you could be doing is asking yourself why you instinctively responded to what you did,
rather than having any reaction or insight to the other elements of what was expressed

---

You know you could have just said earlier. I would have gotten the message and probably would considered it.

posted January 12, 2009 11:49 PM         

If you read over what you wrote, I think you can see how insulting it is:

quote:

---

Are you kidding??lol?

---

Did I sound like I was kidding?

quote:

---

Are you kidding??lol? This must be have a deeper meaning.... I'll have to meditate on that turd and see if I can find it...

Just think HSC, until I read your words, I was so unenlighted as to think a turd is but a turd.(lol)

I just can't stretch my imagination to think that there is anything remotely gratifying about dignifying a turd. Assuming that it is even possible.

But you are more profound than I so I will entertain the thought....

---

Its one thing to make a good-spirited joke and leave it at that.

But this reeks of sarcasm and ridicule.

Then it just spiralled off from there into more dumb jokes.

The thread was headed in one direction, and you redirected it into the gutter.

And you keep talking about your suspicions and trying to get under who i am.

Is everyone on trial with you? On trial until proven innocent?

Yes, I have a temper. I honestly dont think i've ever spoken so harshly to anyone in my life, though, and I myself am sort of trying to understand it. Maybe it has something to do with Mars transitting my 12th house... I dont feel good about myself for saying hurtful things.. I;'m sorry. .. but, yeah, I'm a passionate, sensitive person, and for some reason this felt like the last straw. I f-cking contemplate suicide every day of my life, mostly because i feel judged and laughed at by people who misunderstand me. I felt that you were judging and laughing at me.

The Albatross

Often to pass the time on board, the crew
will catch an albatross, one of those big birds
which nonchalently chaperone a ship
across the bitter fathoms of the sea.

Tied to the deck, this sovereign of space,
as if embarrassed by its clumsiness,
pitiably lets its great white wings
drag at its sides like a pair of unshipped oars.

How weak and awkward, even comical
this traveller but lately so adoit -
one deckhand sticks a pipestem in its beak,
another mocks the cripple that once flew!

The Poet is like this monarch of the clouds
riding the storm above the marksman's range;
exiled on the ground, hooted and jeered,
he cannot walk because of his great wings.

posted January 13, 2009 12:15 AM         

Yes, I do see how it went down hill from me. I didn't think so far in advance that I would be setting a tone or encouraging others to continue where I left off. That was unintended on my part.

I was not judging you, or trying to get under who you are. I simply thought what you had to say interesting and thought provoking, although I admit it was over my head. But I was gonna sift through it.It, not you.

It is difficult to try to straighten things out with someone who shows such open distain for me.

posted January 13, 2009 12:20 AM         

quote:

---

I honestly did not mean anything sarcastic or insulting about it at all. That is completely not my style.
I was joking, in a flipent, light hearted sort of way. If I had any idea.....

---

Well, take a look at that.

It could be unconscious behavior.

Can you see how it could be taken the wrong way?

posted January 13, 2009 02:09 AM         

hsc, if u go back to:

[quote]praecipua
Knowflake
Posts: 867
From: france
Registered: Aug 2007
posted January 11, 2009 10:05 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
now lets be serious, you are very talented, i just.... hmmmm.....
blame the full moon
seriously this is not in reaction to your work as a writer. you do think too much but you do it extremely well.

[quote]

you can see that i just want to be funny, and not to put you down.

you know me for the past year and a half now, without really interacting because my flawed me sometimes fear rejection and probably that i dont have the stamina, nor the desire, to go into an argument mode with you. this was a bad way but my way to get closer to you. i thought that may be you would get over it even though it could have been seen as bad taste indeed because you would have understood that i was joking and nothing else. but you took it personnally.

so now i wonder if between u and me there can be another type of relationship than the one of master and pupil which i really dont want to foster. i dont need any master and i dont intend to become yours either. so can we not make our relationship evolve towards equality. like 2 kids who like each other because they can be themselves without wearing any mask, or shall we keep on playing role of thinkers. in which case, i can do it on my own, even though i really appreciate your deep thoughts most of the time.

posted January 13, 2009 02:13 AM         

im not good at behaving appropriately, with tact and so on, that is something i need to learn, so your reaction is important for me too because i learn from it. i overstepped the mark and i do that too often, i need to moderate myself in my interactions, that is true, but i wrongly? thought that you would get me and see behind my clumsiness, because somewhere in my comments, there can be some depth too. in a sense, my point was that turd well lit can be art but remain turd, and there are other form of art which are most refined. a turd well lit fares badly compared to a van gogh. and even though the logic to find a turd as art makes sense, at the end of the day, the end result is two different object, and if taken out of context, one will obviously be art without explanation while the other will just be..... a digested meal. but if u go on obviously we can meditate on a digestive meal, for example only to see how god managed to create a system which transform food, and sustain life and is still useful for growing vegetable afterwards.

anyway libra moon tired to go round and round.

and def late for work.

posted January 13, 2009 02:26 AM         

I wasn't talking to you and I didnt really have a problem with you.

The suicide thing is not an "excuse".
I apologized for the behavior and deleted the worst of it.

And if I mention suicide in the heat of the moment
(or if I take my own life in the heat of the moment),
well, that's just a steaming pile of reality, isn't it?
Do what you want with it. Call me human.

My intention is not to manipulate.
But people do off themselves.
It's been known to happen.

Just as camels' backs have been known to break,
from straws and sledgehammers (not from the camels' free will).

We're all connected, and every action, every word, every feeling or thought,
has its corresponding effect on the environment, and on the people in the environment.

Taking responsibility for ourselves also means taking responsibility for our effect on others;
not shirking it and telling everyone they "should" be completely responsibile for their reactions.

Anyway, do I really need an "excuse" to demand respect?

posted January 13, 2009 02:54 AM         

quote:

---

and is still useful for growing vegetable afterwards

---

You got it.

And, even before that, the flies can still enjoy it.

posted January 13, 2009 03:28 AM         

Every sign has, in a sense, just completed the lesson of the sign which precedes it.

The excessive moderation of Libra may find its release in the moderate excesses of Scorpio.

Just as the warmly enthusiastic and free-spirited Sagittarian can lift the Scorpion out of any deep crevices he may get himself stuck in.

And as Capricorn curbs the over-expansiveness of Sag, giving concrete form to Sag's ideals.

posted January 13, 2009 03:40 AM         

I want to extend a peace offering.

Something I can try to learn from you:

I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean

Philosophy, is the talk on a cereal box
Religion, is a smile on a dog

I'm not aware of too many things
i know what I know if you know what I mean

Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep

What I am is what I am are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am are you what you are or what

Oh I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean

Philosophy, is a walk on the slippery rocks
Religion, is a light in the fog

I'm not aware of too many things
I know what I know if you know what I mean
Do do ya

Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep
Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep

What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what you are
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what

Da da da da
I say I say I say I do hey hey hey hey hey hey

Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep
Chuck me in the shallow water
Before I get too deep

Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep
Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep
Chuck me in the shallow water before I get too deep

Don't let me get too deep
Don't let me get too deep
Don't let me get too deep
Don't let me get too deep

What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what you are
What I am is what I am
Are you what you are or what

Or what you are oh
Or what you are oh oh oh
Say what I am

posted January 13, 2009 06:23 AM         

seriouly,

im glad u take it well.