posted January 04, 2016 05:45 PM            

I guess we all know that abilities exist, etc., and there's a fine line between being delusional and understanding things that we don't necessarily see with our eyes.

So...if I sound like a nutjob, I guess at least it stays in this forum, lol.

posted January 05, 2016 08:49 AM            

I had a sadistic midwife and have to be careful when I think of her, because it triggers such resentment...I think my "spirit animal" is T-Rex or something.

Sorry to anyone who's felt it. What can I say? Sometimes it seems like life shoved me into a corner and made me fight extra hard to get out. Those reflexes are still there.

posted January 05, 2016 08:56 PM            

Being present in the moment, monitoring our thoughts...not letting ourselves dwell on the past. I'm trying to be more vigilant about where my mind goes. Lately I'm realizing that staying focused in the present occupies so much "bandwidth" and is yet so rewarding, I might be starting a new way of being...

Well my pr Mercury is at 0 Aquarius and I have Pluto transiting on my sun. So...something had to give.

posted January 07, 2016 08:44 AM            

Sometimes people hurt my feelings or aggravate me, but I always think, my sole mission is to regain equilibrium. It has nothing to do with them. It's like I take the feeling, work to transform it, while maintaining a kind of spiritual (impersonal) attitude towards them. If they are mean, flawed, stupid, etc, I might pray for their healing, because that makes me feel better.

I just don't want my internal state to be determined by what anyone else does. I can't help catching vibes and bad energy, but I can control my thoughts, and I can disconnect my mind from the emotional storms. Eckhart Tolle talks about how this disconnect makes the emotional storms go away faster, like you are pulling the plug on them...I've practiced with that to the point where I am pretty good at it.

Maybe that is an avenue you'd find helpful, too.

Re: guilt tripping oneself about anger

posted January 07, 2016 09:24 AM            

I think it's morphing from holding onto a feeling and then festering on it, to just deflecting energy.

posted January 07, 2016 09:32 AM            

I think this (combined with Neptune transiting my natal H8 and Sun) is contributing to my changing spiritual beliefs.

posted February 10, 2016 03:12 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Randall:
Let go of anger, because it creates Karmic bonds.

---

Omg, Randall.... That's SOOOO true. And once that wound happens to you, it can seem almost IMPOSSIBLE to deal with-- because it keeps re-living and re-wounding in your memories.

And it's not just people's imagination that Mean-People exist like that. Such a BLIGHT on humanity. Mean-People .SUCK.

haha, you know the saying that you should not suffer a witch to live? .... I sideways apply that to people with mean behaviors.

I too utilized midwives in the births of my two daughters. With the first one, she ended up being breech, and we had to finish the birth at a hospital.

The second baby was coming... We were at the midwife center. I kept having feelings like I wanted to Push. The midwife and nurse started putting me down... invalidating that this was happening right then. This birth was 'different' from the other one. The baby was heavier (8'3oz opposed to 7'1oz). Her head was not engaging properly with the cervix. As you know, the baby's head pressing onto the cervix makes the contractions 'work'... like pulling a tight turtleneck over the baby's head-- the baby has to DO its work.

I had been exhausting myself all night. Every time a contraction happened, it felt like sharp pieces of glass to me in the area of my cervix. Finally, as hours edged towards dawn, the choice was given me of taking a sleeping pill, or 'having this baby'. I chose the birth over sleep, so they broke my water.

... Within a few contractions, I was feeling the butterflies change into wanting to Push. I was "ignored." To them, this 'couldn't' be happening that fast!

I had BF at the time. We were birthing our babies together. She wanted to attend the Birth of this one, and I agreed.

So the midwife told my husband, wellll, you wanted to invite name to the birth, so why don't you call her to let her know name is in labor.

He got on the phone with her, and with a firm and LOUD voice, I told her, 'If you want to see this baby born, then you'd better GET HERE, ~NOW!'

Midwife decided to check me again after that. She said maybe I was right....

My BF got there sooo quick. .... She had observed a bit. Then she SPOKE UP to them. She said, "I don't like the way you're treating my Friend right now!" She SAW how 'dismissive' they were being of me.

I was terrified..... My last birth had been 'traumatic'. They kept "threatening" me that I would be transported to the hospital to give birth because I wasn't doing it the right way they said, or ~something like that.

I. Was. Terrified. at that prospect, and I was DETERMINED that THIS baby was going to be born in a bed, and NOT on a steely table (like the last one).

A wave came... And I said in myself, This Baby is coming-through. ....

Well~~ little tiffy. They were ****** . They were torqued that they didn't have 'enough time' to get their little rubbery-gloves on. NO.... This baby was going to be born into FLESH-hands, HUMAN-hands, not sanitized artificial chemical skins.

So they were angry! ..... And so was that baby. My daughter was soooooo angry when she was born. The midwife was trying to calm her, and she would NOT be calmed. This midwife had had maybe 35 years experience, and she said she had 'never' seen such a thing.

(Moon-Mars conjunction Capricorn ON the MC, straddling it one degree each. Her sun in H1. BOTH daughters born with late Aries Asc, and midCapricorn MCs.)

When I married ex2, he was Capricorn, and a VERY MEAN man. That daughter used to have blackout anger spells BECAUSE of him. He deliberately provoked her, then blamed ME for not controlling my child. Later, before the divorce, he went around bashing holes in the drywall around the house--- then he DELIBERATELY 'blamed HER' for doing it.

Her dad ended up being a loser too. He abandoned his daughters completely. Had fought for custody?... only to 'bother' me. He didn't want the responsibility of being with his children. I had heard horror-tales later when my daughters got older. He would lock them into a closet, say horrible things about me (not true). ---- He ended up being a mean person, too. I can't BELIEVE 'what he did' to his daughters.

I had tried to push and push them together.... One day, I was heading for the thermostat in the apartment to adjust it, and I heard VERY CLEARLY a Guiding Voice that said STOP trying to put them together with him. He was not good, and the angels had been working to Divide rather than Join.... It was later, when I 'heard' all the stories about him, and the things he was doing. Oh. I better stop this now, because I'm starting to stir 'feelings' that are better-left as detached now. This is ALL past. This was THEIR life, not mine.

....

So Violets... How can we 'screen out' people who do their job 'for the money' from those who Perform a Ministering Service to Society. People who can't wait to heal, and Give from what's Inside them.

Society today is ALL ABOUT 'money' it seems. That's HOW people can be so careless and WHY good people are sick today and so many allowed to be dying that don't have to.

Around here, I've watched how they've rallied homeless and jobless people and FORCED them into a profession (healing/medical) that these folk have NO right being into---- except that the 'extremists' believe they need to 'earn' their foodstamps, etc. They are being too broad or narrow, or ~whatever. (Whatever the case?, it's the WRONG way to go about it... in my observing of things. Like bulls in a china shop?.. Being too careful, yet NOT caring enough! *bheart*)

Yes, it's IMPORTANT that people are matched to the CORRECT profession and Calling for their lives. There is a need for distinguishing these things before THEIR soul is harmed, and other people's LIVES are harmed.

I've watched 'social agencies' slap a 'title' on people (called them social-workers) and these people have NO IDEA what their doing. AND!!!!!, the agency receives MONEY to do that. What wasting????? of dollars and manpower. The right people do NOT receive the right help in all that.

The problem is that they get PAID/rewarded for doing botch-jobs..... This is where we need to HOLD them ACCOUNTABLE for 'results'... Bad employees?, should be sued along with the employer. AND maybe even the ones who 'qualified' them to begin with. Certificates are CHEAP.

In a way.... this is ALSO my 'past'..... I have difficult memories of times of receiving abuse, being soooo sorely abused, BY them. (When I was trying to help.)

Gotta let that go..... for my physical body's well beingness.

I hope God raises qualified REformers to do the difficult yet exciting remodeling of structures & systems in society.

They will Improve Quality of Life for EVERYONE involved.

*LOL... and if you've read this whole post, Congratulations!!! LMAO*

So Much Love.... (And kick some ass!!! too) LOL

posted February 11, 2016 07:45 PM            

Violets, I get the impression that you are at the crossroads of your life where you need to make a decision: Do you need to really carry the malice stuff to the next phase/level of your life? Is it feasible? Would it sustain you? Will it hold you back?

While Love is the most powerful energy in this dimension, Forgiveness is right up there, too. Some may say they are arm in arm. I have gained much spiritually through forgiveness and I will be the first to tell you it is not easy. Sometimes, it hurts. Forgiveness brings the energy back to you for your use, for your growth, for your health and healing.

So, are you going to handle it? Or will you allow for it to handle you? Detachment is excellent for the incoming stuff. You will have to determine whether the stuff you have been holding on to on has been holding on to you needs to be forgiven.

I think it is a very positive step you have taken with this thread.

posted February 13, 2016 05:09 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pathseeker:
Hello,

Violets, I get the impression that you are at the crossroads of your life where you need to make a decision: Do you need to really carry the malice stuff to the next phase/level of your life? Is it feasible? Would it sustain you? Will it hold you back?

While Love is the most powerful energy in this dimension, Forgiveness is right up there, too. Some may say they are arm in arm. I have gained much spiritually through forgiveness and I will be the first to tell you it is not easy. Sometimes, it hurts. Forgiveness brings the energy back to you for your use, for your growth, for your health and healing.

So, are you going to handle it? Or will you allow for it to handle you? Detachment is excellent for the incoming stuff. You will have to determine whether the stuff you have been holding on to on has been holding on to you needs to be forgiven.

I think it is a very positive step you have taken with this thread.

Pathseeker

---

^ .... so much wisdom, always.

posted February 27, 2016 02:01 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
I am really struggling with this, too. I used to be a lot better with it - and I do believe that people feel the energy we send. I tried it once, years ago, when I thought someone was in a bad way. I ended up picking up on a deep depression I hadn't known about (and in the end, they triggered it in me - not good, several years later).

---

{{Teasel }}

I remember looking at your chart a LONG time ago, and I've forgotten the chart but 'remembered' the ~impression it gave me.

You are NOT like everyone else. It's easy to fall into the temptation of "comparing" ourself to the group around us sometimes BECAUSE we must live with everyone else. And we Grow!

When you hang out with a bunch of housecats, you can believe you're a housecat... but you are a Different breed, Teasel. That's all I was trying to tell you before all these other things happened in your life.

We get and grow an Experience-Bank in life. Just because you have bad happenings, does NOT 'make' you a bad person, okay? You are on a different path than *them*.

Your really really awful experiences lately {{WHICH, I send you HUGE HUGS of sympathy-with, as I 'know' about that kind of **** !}} has actually 'taught' you something about the mechanics, the ground and layers of how consciousness, and relationships, and 'reality' work. I know that you've been in pain?... But if you are able to put the 'pain' side of the equation over for just a tiny-bit, look at what you have objectively (lovingly) learned!... You have grown in Awesomeness (whether you 'feel' that or not right now?). Pain is NOT fun! ...

But look at what is Awesome about you right now... CELEBRATE IT!!! *bounce* Give yourself some *Fireworks*!!! (haha)

We can't always avoid what's on the path, because we're still learning about how to navigate around or through some things (WHICH, you'll be able to teach others about some time down the timeline from now). We begin to build Intelligence (emo/mental/spirit) which we learn to use, like in an automatic martial-arts way when the demand is on us.
(I don't know martial arts-- just what I used to watch on TV shows, LOL).

I feel so badly for you, really I do. And don't you let people guilt you for throwing 'occasional' dying-duck fits. Sometimes when we don't have outside supporters, it's a good release, (as long as you consciously do it, and observe too while you let the tears and feathers fly). It's NOT cool-feeling AT ALL to be going through awful shifts like that. .... However, don't forget to gather the Treasure you find afterwards after the battle and fight--- whether you feel you win or lose? there is ALWAYS jewel.

AND SO!, ~~~ I want you to throw your shoulders back and chest out for a moment... and walk around a room like 'you own it'. You OWN this!! Oh yes!.

I watch TD Jakes programs on TV. He struts himself like that... I didn't realize it till a few weeks ago?, but when I want to 'feel better', I've started using HIS same posture!!!
....This man has DEFINITELY KNOWN Adversity in his life (you should see Saturn in his chart too~~ oh yeah). He in-the-body has shown ME 'how' to strut-it when you need to feel and in-the-Body own like you CONQUERED something, EVEN when it all (falsely?) fallen apart.
---- Of course, you know I have eclectic tastes in Inspirational people.
For ME, what I learned from Jakes is some BackBone---, is 'how' to Posture in my prayers, and in my Believing for things when I want to Manifest.

.... ~weird, huh?

But hey! ~weird needs ~weird, and Deep Calleth unto the DEEPs and The Depths of what this earth plane walking is about. We must learn to inhabit and master-conquer BOTH.

We walk in the Heavenlies AND the Earthly realms at the SAME time.... Mechanics come in finding out who the small-you is, and the BEST-you is, and learn how to juggle both sides at once, in 'this' side of reality.

..... Not a small-feat. It can be very very Painful. Loads of Pain... in all that Promise-Available. But slowly, you learn how to tip, and Rock it.

Teasel... I realize and have seen that I'm 'not' one of your *ahem* favorite persons here... That's okay. .... But please do realize that I AM on your side, believe it or not.

You have a great future Possible ahead of you. Maybe you might experience MORE pain than the other-people with easier charts?

But some of the most-Advanced souls come in with harder charts-- Hard charts are NOT a Death-sentence when it comes to overall life. There's more of a Demand on you, because your Soul is Able!! You give an Officer in the military MORE training than just civilian. You need to know BOTH.

Some people will be taught 'how' to experientially lead-- and later you will be able to draw upon this for yourself too. It's all Hard, and you find Easier within the Hard parts.... and you'll be able to comfort others with it. {{hug}}

Just always remember and affirm to your self these words when you have no one else to say them to you--- (like I am saying this to you right now).... You Are Loved. And you DO have guardians and angels to help you on your Path.

Wishing you So Much Love... and I give Honor to THAT/andWHO which is IN You, also IN me.

You are a person of Possibility! 'Own it', strut it from time-to-time, when you're all by yourself alone. Because actually you are NOT ever Alone.

posted February 28, 2016 11:27 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by teasel:
mirage, why wouldn't you be one of my favourite people?? I miss a lot of posts, so I might have missed something from you.

---

Oh thank you sooo much, sweetheart! I've just been feeling such a sense of profound alienation, isolation, which then makes my head plug in to all kinds of past-issues (dealing with ostracization, abandonment, neglect, etc...-- including 'bullying').

I "just happened" to read a post you did where you described having to deal with intimidation, bullying. I didn't know that about your past (so sorry you went through that).

I've had more than my share of these kinds of experiences also. (Recently had to stop some toxic relationships in my life that only served to bring me down.)

So this is an example, maybe, of how we heal each other when we have things in our past and backgrounds that have resonant overtones. How can we heal secret-pain by letting it remain secret and not brought up to the light and to air? Find out what is true and what is not so we can deal with it... {reservoir of pain inside}

You just made my day!

Here's a song that sorta fits....

Have a great day....

posted March 17, 2016 07:18 AM            

I'm experiencing malicious behaviour from someone I don't even know, and it has me puzzled. Not here... elsewhere. He has deliberately tried to upset me, with passive-aggressive remarks, so since I was in a rotten mood anyway last night, I decided to test something, to see if I was right about him - and I was. Whenever I show up, so does he, so I responded, and he wasn't quite so passive this time.

Instead of upsetting me, as was his intention, it's tripped my curiosity. But it's pure malice from his end.

I didn't know where else to put this. I guess I need to learn to defend myself better against this sort of thing - whilst it didn't bother me this time, my heart was pounding around the time that he ended up responding (and I was unaware). Like I said: I pick this stuff up, when someone's thoughts and feelings are directed at me somehow - or about me. Positive or negative. And I don't want that around or inside me, anyway, but it's worse to be picking it up from someone who is doing it deliberately. It feels like I've been invaded somehow, like my body and my feelings aren't my own.

posted March 17, 2016 09:45 PM            

Disconnect yourself energetically from him as much as you can. See yourself as parallel and not connected. Keep your energy 'under the radar' around him and you'll have to wait this kind of person out, sometimes.

In the fortress of your mind, you take the Higher Road. Even if what he does is awful, try to think one thing neutral or positive about him. This will start to resonate like a tuning fork. It could help calm his soulish self through the empathic ethers. When you 'get hooked' into reactions, get yourself aside, work it out quickly to yourself in an aside, but develop a core Center of yourself that is clear and clean as you can, and KNOW that that is who you are. Pray. Develop a prayer life, a spiritual time for yourself, and that Time spent will build Strength for you. Your innerMan will grow and you'll eventually keep having your breakthrough moments.

These breakthrough moments are cumulative. You'll see, Teasel. You will see this happen Strong in your life. Takes time. Keep taking those little steps. Every step, is a Success. Celebrate the stepping.... We all fall down, but we get up again.

You might find parts of this thread from Oranges & Hyacinths Forum interesting. http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000661.html
(There was much edited in this thread for privacy of OP, but some really valuable information remains.)

posted March 18, 2016 01:08 PM            

Lyrics, "We can get back UP again!" .... With no self-condemnation.

Release the old must-y baggage, and trade it in for something easier and with much light.

Release that Past which muddies and only gunks up your filters if there's too much old pain, adhesions, scabs, and scars clotting in it.

Do an energetic flushing ... Release using the Healing balms available right now. There is much cleansing (Virgo) and diluting of toxic waters (Pisces).

Forgiveness and Release for EVERTHING and anything. Powerful Pisces-stellium right now. Believe (not an empty hoping but actually KNOW this is True)--- that you have Better days right there waiting in front of you.

{{{{{I Love 6th House Suns!!}}}}} Healing-hugs!!!!!!!!! Just Chasing-you-down!