posted March 21, 2018 02:29 PM            

I have recently asked in the interpersonal astrology forum if he is my twin flame or not based on our synastry. I think he is but also I like to give myself the benefit of the doubt.

A couple things came to my mind when I started getting this gut feeling. We are both currently in school right now. I graduate this year and he graduates in two years. He has already expressed his desire to leave the country and go on 6-month to 1-year trip after graduating. I, on the other hand, already have plans to work on a cruise ship travelling around the world as a licensed hairstylist. Besides the fact, I also had a dream where he said he was gonna leave me in two years and I remember thinking to myself I had two years to change everything.

I truly love this man. I always have, even just as a friend when we were friends. I care very deeply about him. We are so good together. He understands me and I understand him. Our relationship is not perfect, but I like it the way it is. However, I also have been feeling our life together has been stagnating.

As hard as it is for me to swallow, I know it would be in our best interests to go our separate ways when the time does come. We’ve already known since the very beginning of our relationship that if we ever did break up, it wouldn’t be because of cheating or complete incompatibility. It would be because we both want to see the world and experience different things.

We really do not have to leave each other, tbh. I’m a hairstylist and he’s a photographer. We can work together. But I feel like we have met way too early in this life. I met him for the first time when I was 17, and the second time when I was turning 19. Right now, I am turning 21 and he’s turning 22.There is so much more ahead of us that I wouldn’t want to get in his way of living his life to the fullest. He doesn’t want to get in my way either.

We’ve had to do some sacrifices like giving our cat away. We already know we wouldn’t be together for too long until we have to go our separate ways.

This is where my pain comes in. He seems to be able to accept it like it’s nothing, while I’m struggling trying to accept it. I feel more attached than he is. Although I also already have a feeling we will meet again for the third time, I still worry. I worry that what if we met again and he’s with someone else or vice versa. I am magnetically attracted to him and so is he. I don’t think that will ever go away. It has been there since the very first time we met. I was also told by someone we’re destined to find each other and be in each other’s lives no matter what. But I still feel fearful of what the future holds. Things will be very complicated if we do meet again and one is already in the arms of another. I have a hard time accepting this. I have a hard time just letting it be.

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Gemini Rising
Sun in Leo (2nd house)
Moon in Cancer (1st house)
Mercury in Virgo (3rd house conj.)
Venus in Virgo (3rd house)
Mars in Libra (5th house)

posted March 22, 2018 03:37 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SecretGeek:
What about getting advanced degrees? It would give you more time together plus pay would likely be higher down the road.

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posted March 22, 2018 12:28 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SecretGeek:
What about getting advanced degrees? It would give you more time together plus pay would likely be higher down the road.

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posted March 23, 2018 07:42 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Solar_Leo_Queen:
I think the longer we take to do what we want with our lives (which is travel), the more stagnant our relationship will become. I feel that the separation will do us some good. We will probably start to focus more on ourselves and nurture ourselves as individuals. I think this is crucial to a happy relationship. If we do meet again and we’re still both single, we can have a much better relationship than we have now. All because we have explored ourselves in depth than we would have together.

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posted January 17, 2019 02:32 PM            

UPDATE:

Plans have changed. I'm not going a cruise ship anymore to work. At this point in time, I have no idea what I want to do with my life after realizing the beauty industry is not for me. He's planning to find work in a different city as soon as he graduates. He wanted me to come with him the last time we talked about plans.

We've been having fights more frequently now and it has been because of me projecting underlying issues onto him. I started to work on being more open to him. I did feel more intimate with him after that, bur now it's back to square one. I have no idea why. I have been trying to fix my abandonment issues, nothing seems to work. I have done it all. I've talked to my dad and expressed my pain, I've talked to my boyfriend, I've acknowledged my issues with myself, etc. Nothing.

I have a lot of trouble forgiving betrayals and giving compassion to those who have purposely hurt someone, especially me. I feel that everyone leaves or gets taken away no matter what. That's what I think is holding me back from truly connecting with him. My heart chakra is blocked (pretty sure a lot of them are).

I feel lost.

We talked again last night after an argument. I know I have forgiven him for whatever he did in the past, but I can't seem to get past the fear that he'll do it again. As he said to me last night, I don't look at him the same way as I did before. I know in my heart this is true. But I have no idea how to fix it. I can't seem to trust, not just him, but everyone. We have agreed it's best to remain friends so I can have time for myself. However, it's rather difficult, since we still live together. It's as hard for him as it is for me to be apart. Physical separation would be the only way to cope with this properly. The pain and shock didn't hit me until now. But I know this is best for both of us.

posted March 07, 2019 10:14 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
How goes it?

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