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Author Topic:   Karma with family members.
Shulia
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Posts: 93
From:
Registered: Jul 2017

posted April 26, 2018 08:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shulia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi everybody!

I wanted to ask this question from long ago.

I believe we choose in which family are we gonna be born. And of course that goes acording to karma I guess.

And I believe you have to go throught your negative karma happily and acept it.

The thing is, I have a brother who is very abusive. I have been lucky with the rest of my family but with my brother is very difficult.

He has serious issues with woman and anger towards our mother, and he puts it on me.
He psicologically abused me for a long time, and I have been afraid of him.

Don't missunderstand me he wont ever bit me up I guess, but he do scares me as he can get so violent.

Also I believe if I would answer to him he may be even able to phisically hurt me.

On the other hand, I am not mad at him at all, I love him and I know he is hurted and I feel so sorry for him. I want him to be happy.

I just try to not have contact with him because everytime I see him he hurts me so much, he disrepct me and ridiculize me in all possible ways.

And I can't defend myself because I am afraid of his reaction and even my father is afraid too, so none says anything to him, because none in my family dares to.

Even my older cousins says they feel sorry for me and they see how he abuse me, but they advice me to just try to never answer or make him mad.

I believe I did something very bad to him in past life, and I got that back in this one.

I don't blame him and I don't have revenging feelings at all.

I just wonder if I should keep contact with him or not. I mean... maybe by karma I am oblished to ' suffer that'.

But on the other hand... I have been all my 27 years of life, suffering it, and trying to have a good relationship... and I don't see which happiness or good things I am brimging to this world by standing him.

You may advice me to defend myself but believe me, its impossible, you can't answer to him he has issues with anger control.

So I thought about just going away from him and just responding in case he meeds help.

But being near to him just honestly makes my life miserable. And when I am away from him my selfconfidence and everything else just becomes way happier. I have been for a long time trying to live in a diferent countries as an excuse to get away from that.

Anyway we live in diferent countries now, but I dnt know if I wanna even see him when he comes to visit.

What do you think? Should I keep in contact because it may be a karma debt?

And... how could I balance that karma?

Thanks!

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PixieJane
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Posts: 9275
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted April 26, 2018 09:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You are not the only one in the world, and even karma is more nuanced than that. It's not that you were a monster to him in a previous life so he is a monster to you in this life, like some demented see saw game. Even assuming you were a monster to him in a previous life, there would've been karma behind that as well, and karma would be a process you both would be working through, and his way of acting out is not doing himself any karmic favors.

If you can rise up it, great. But in any case, you have no obligation to keep taking his abuse, and whoever told you karma works that way has done you a disservice.

x

That said, I do believe I may have chosen my parents. If a seeming past life memory is actually accurate, then there was a time my mother in this life was one of two wives (who I did not tell them about each other) in a previous life, and that my dad was a pirate friend of mine who told one wife to get into her pants. In any case, they have done terrible things to each other (and to me) in this life. I resented it greatly as a child when I was in their power, but no longer do (but I will no longer put myself into their power, either). I have reached out repeatedly, and have gotten very little positive responses. I don't worry about it, but the offer is there. I have let the bitterness go and I do believe that frees me of the karmic mess we're caught up in (be it in this life or from other lives).

The last time I talked to my mother while I was leaving (after I hit her sister which my mom loved), I said sorry that things got messed up (though Mom loved it), and that we make our mistakes but should try to rise above them rather than stay mired in them. Then in a deeper voice trying to sound like the pirate in a previous life I added, "And I'd say that even if I were a French pirate named Jacques, ma Cherie." Then I nodded in the firm way Jacques did and waved saying "Adieu" as I got back into the car.

Perhaps Mom was just baffled but she looked downright unsettled to me.

I don't want them to suffer, and though I'm not going be stupid by giving them power over me again, the resolution of karma is something they have to work through as well, not just me.


Btw, I have helped raise 2 kids from a young age in this life (one is still in his young teens). How I came into their lives is a remarkable tale in of itself, but suffice to say that I believe if my past life memories of being a pirate are accurate, then those are 2 of the kids who suffered, along with my wife (wives) of the time, back when I was a pirate (who died and did not return, and would not settle with one because then I'd have to CHOOSE, and couldn't choose either family, so therefore refused to give up the sea and died when I didn't have to be out there any longer, and as a result BOTH of my wives and their children suffered rather than just one of them). That is, it wasn't necessary for me to give birth to gain access to such kids that I'm (in theory) linked to karmically...rather the karmaic forces acted like magnets using synchronicity to bring us together.

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Shulia
Knowflake

Posts: 93
From:
Registered: Jul 2017

posted April 26, 2018 09:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shulia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
You are not the only one in the world, and even karma is more nuanced than that. It's not that you were a monster to him in a previous life so he is a monster to you in this life, like some demented see saw game. Even assuming you were a monster to him in a previous life, there would've been karma behind that as well, and karma would be a process you both would be working through, and his way of acting out is not doing himself any karmic favors.

If you can rise up it, great. But in any case, you have no obligation to keep taking his abuse, and whoever told you karma works that way has done you a disservice.

x

That said, I do believe I may have chosen my parents. If a seeming past life memory is actually accurate, then there was a time my mother in this life was one of two wives (who I did not tell them about each other) in a previous life, and that my dad was a pirate friend of mine who told one wife to get into her pants. In any case, they have done terrible things to each other (and to me) in this life. I resented it greatly as a child when I was in their power, but no longer do (but I will no longer put myself into their power, either). I have reached out repeatedly, and have gotten very little positive responses. I don't worry about it, but the offer is there. I have let the bitterness go and I do believe that frees me of the karmic mess we're caught up in (be it in this life or from other lives).

The last time I talked to my mother while I was leaving (after I hit her sister which my mom loved), I said sorry that things got messed up (though Mom loved it), and that we make our mistakes but should try to rise above them rather than stay mired in them. Then in a deeper voice trying to sound like the pirate in a previous life I added, "And I'd say that even if I were a French pirate named Jacques, ma Cherie." Then I nodded in the firm way Jacques did and waved saying "Adieu" as I got back into the car.

Perhaps Mom was just baffled but she looked downright unsettled to me.

I don't want them to suffer, and though I'm not going be stupid by giving them power over me again, the resolution of karma is something they have to work through as well, not just me.


Btw, I have helped raise 2 kids from a young age in this life (one is still in his young teens). How I came into their lives is a remarkable tale in of itself, but suffice to say that I believe if my past life memories of being a pirate are accurate, then those are 2 of the kids who suffered, along with my wife (wives) of the time, back when I was a pirate (who died and did not return, and would not settle with one because then I'd have to CHOOSE, and couldn't choose either family, so therefore refused to give up the sea and died when I didn't have to be out there any longer, and as a result BOTH of my wives and their children suffered rather than just one of them). That is, it wasn't necessary for me to give birth to gain access to such kids that I'm (in theory) linked to karmically...rather the karmaic forces acted like magnets using synchronicity to bring us together.

Btw, I highly recommend the movie


Wow thanks to share all this here!
It helped a lot.
Makes a lot of sense actually.

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PixieJane
Moderator

Posts: 9275
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted April 26, 2018 09:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Btw, I highly recommend the movie Cloud Atlas. Here's the long trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWnAqFyaQ5s

Should you see it, watch it from start to finish (though it's hours long) as it's incredibly powerful that way, like poetry and art as well as a story.

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Shulia
Knowflake

Posts: 93
From:
Registered: Jul 2017

posted April 26, 2018 09:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Shulia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Btw, I highly recommend the movie Cloud Atlas. Here's the long trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWnAqFyaQ5s

Should you see it, watch it from start to finish (though it's hours long) as it's incredibly powerful that way, like poetry and art as well as a story.


Yeees! All my friends tell me to watch it. I have been looking for it.
I will try to download it because the dvd is t available at least here in Spain.
Thanks!

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 97659
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 27, 2018 07:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 97659
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 28, 2018 02:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by PixieJane:
Btw, I highly recommend the movie Cloud Atlas. Here's the long trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWnAqFyaQ5s

Should you see it, watch it from start to finish (though it's hours long) as it's incredibly powerful that way, like poetry and art as well as a story.


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PixieJane
Moderator

Posts: 9275
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted May 07, 2018 12:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Shulia:
I believe we choose in which family are we gonna be born. And of course that goes acording to karma I guess.

And I believe you have to go throught your negative karma happily and acept it.

The thing is, I have a brother who is very abusive. I have been lucky with the rest of my family but with my brother is very difficult.

He has serious issues with woman and anger towards our mother, and he puts it on me.
He psicologically abused me for a long time, and I have been afraid of him.


Hey, I find it hard to put into words, but this review of an Angel episode (a spinoff of Buffy the Vampire Slayer about a vampire who got his soul back and is usually heavy for metaphors about personal growth and obstacles) made me think of this thread...I'm starting it from the 7 minute mark from where there are only 4 minutes to go and where it feels especially relevant (though I'd recommend the entire review):
http://youtu.be/MLlBN9_M8cs?t=7m

I'm having a very hard time verbalizing why I think it may spark some insight in you (and don't even know if it will) so I'm pretty much just sharing it, though I can say how your brother feels about his mother is more on him and it's up to him rather than you to work it out, and likewise, how you deal with him is also based more on you than him, and that's what the review goes into about Angel and choices as well as how our parents can shape us growing up for better and worse (and, in this case, their consequences over the centuries told in this metaphoric story). I think its comment on Angel's self-hatred (and the demon Angelus's malice toward others, especially family members of Liam/Angel) based on never getting his father's approval may apply somewhat to your brother, only with him it's rooted more in his mother that he transfers to others, including you.

Just to be clear, this was posted as a review of an episode (and Liam and Angel are the same, but Angelus is the demon Liam would become) and not intended to be a commentary on karma, and yet I think the metaphor of it might have meaning for you because the theme seems to me to apply here. Since I can't verbalize how the metaphor of the episode may or may not apply in your case, or your brother's case, I'll just have to leave it for you to see or not as you choose to see if there's anything you can take from it.

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 97659
From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 08, 2018 11:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Which vampire got his soul back?

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PixieJane
Moderator

Posts: 9275
From: CA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted May 08, 2018 08:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PixieJane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Randall:
Which vampire got his soul back?

Liam is killed & turned by Darla, and becomes the demon/vampire Angelus (so named because his little sister mistook his vampire form for an angel of Liam come back to her, and so Angelus took the name to never forget the sweet surprise of murdering the little girl that had greeted him with such trust and love as her older brother returned from the dead--all before Angelus began to murder the rest of his family).

The lore of the Buffyverse is that a vampire is not the same person with fangs, but that a demon inhabits the corpse (entering through the blood of the vampire given or force fed into the victim), and typically no longer feels any bonds of family or friendship while alive. The vampire person is not the dead person revived with fangs, but a demon wearing the corpse, or as Giles put it, when you look at a vampire, you're not looking at the person who it used to be, but at the demon that killed him.

Angelus then became the scourge of Europe until gypsies cursed him with his soul back, forcing him to endure the guilt of a century of cruelty that was legendary even among demons. As he was no longer Liam nor Angelus, he ended up taking the name Angel (especially as he had a tattoo to mark him as such). Yet buried within Angel was the demon Angelus forever trying to break free (the gypsies really were punishing Angelus, and did not care that they also punished Liam/Angel at the same time, though it was a dumb curse all things considered if they wanted him to suffer eternally as the gypsies suffered eternally for the tortures and murders Angelus had inflicted upon the most beloved of their people, especially as once Angelus broke free his first targets were the gypsies in the area in which he murdered with a ferocious savagery).

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Randall
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From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 26, 2018 06:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ah, thanks for explaining.

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Randall
Webmaster

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From: From a galaxy, far, far away...
Registered: Apr 2009

posted July 03, 2018 11:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wondered why Angel was different.

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