posted September 23, 2007 03:40 PM           

I have felt strongly, and now know, eternal immortality of spirit/soul/the I AM, oneness... whatever you want to call it for a while. I'm a Gemini, and have lived the most joyous and profoundly depressing life at the same time, with money and love and friends and joy seeming popping in and out.

I am aware of how much your thoughts create your reality, yet still the best I can do sometimes in times of depression is just keep telling myself it will be alright, even when I do not feel it, and many times have the urge to commit the great S - suicide, and get out of this place - but then I have the familiar feeling I have done that before and that's no answer. This can leave me feeling just plain.... ARGHHH...

In any case, since a child I have written things to myself similar to magic/occult systems. I simply thought there can in no way be this 'God of the Bible' (I was born into a catholic family) and if there is, then we must be equal to it.. perhaps not at the time in our individual experience identity (o illusion).. Whatever you want to call it, but I felt that God must surely mean ONE/ALL/IS/ENERGY/INFINITY/I AM
that sort of a thing. I figured that however 'things' started to where we are in this current word today, everything HAS to be part of the same thing, there can be only is. The concept of NOTHING is just like placeholders... there IS something, and though illusionary nothings and places holders (kind of like binary code on computers) infinity spirals out and all sorts of consciousness experiences happen.

In essence, there may very well be a 'GOD and SATAN' and demons and angels such because we have 'thought upon them and these ideas so much, and though creates things, but beyond the thought of the stereotypical stuff my feelings were always that in the end we are all exactly equal stuff, just using it differently as it expends, shreds itself apart, reconnects. Ect.

Now on to my issue:

In all of my studies, no matter whether I follow a plotted course of research or randomly pop things out from bookstores and the internet, I come upon the same things.
The dueling numerology systems, the major world religions, magic or magick or magiqu or however the heck you want to spell meaning creating change with will.

Then... though, this freemason illuminati stuff is everywhere, and the same symbols and practices and numerology and astrology and ect is used by them, without a doubt, yet to woship what the call 'Lucifer' the true bringer of light.

It is obvious that SOMETHING ridiculous is going on with a power elite the symbolism and the pyramid and freemason/illuminati imagery everywhere and the skull and bones and trilateral corporation world bank new world order ect ect. It is obvious cash is going away and everyone must use a credit card shortly and everyone is tracked when doing so.

So I guess I want to hear some input on this?

I consider myself of good, loving, creative person who may totally be screwing up sometimes but I have joy and love and the intention of good and oneness in my heart, with individuality respected. It seems God is a schizophrenic and separated into al of us to see him/her/itself but I do think the Godhead/Individual can be one, we dont have to keep looping.

But what about all the same symbolism used for good being used by obviously corrupted controlling manipulative world control organizations. Are we really being fools and buying into 'New Age' thinking that is controlled by a dark force and seems to give us answers while here? Or are all the symbols really neutral and take on the use of the intention of the user.

I have pyramids and upright stars pentagrams of protection and my own personal sigils everywhere, yet of course have had very logical sane Christian fiends go nuts about it and say I have been fooled.

Is this just some big alien monopoly game for the control of souls before they know enough?

Why so much with the forcing of religion and "Jesus Christ as your Savior"

Yet there seems to be just as much pushing as Jesus is for idiots.

I personally believe he could have existed ad was probably a powerful avatar of some sort. The bible is confusing with a God of seemingly father like wrath and hate which doesn't seem appropriate. The Ascended masters and Gurus also seem smart, and then possible complete deceptions.

Intuitively I feel that my own little personal blessings and spells are correct, but the whole.... earth as a classroom to make our way back of the top of the mental spheres back to source....

Why get back? If we were already there? Why the constant strife? Why does it seemedly loop so many times. Normally I think that with each loop, it's like a heartbeat and MORE is created. More stories, more dimensions, more existences, more incarnations and states of consciousness, and that the whole God/Devil thing, while possibly having power, we created. I am by no means atheist. I strongly believe in infinity and that one blooms unto it and I have had my experiences. But is i really necessary of the constant loops of apocalypse type scenarios?

Also, a question of focus:

Should one even consider these things or just always go with what you feel you want to do and is right. That is what most 'we create our own reality' type consciousness consists of... but even ignoring the news, and tv, and papers.... I can see this 'new world order thing' on the fringe. Cash is being played down and debt/credit electronic played up. When will they just say, no cash?

Is this something to fight against or is considering it giving it more power?

PS:

My real name is Michael Bigansky
I changed it for acting to Michael Biggins

Both of these, add up to 4 signal number and 31 compound number.

I have as I said had immense success and immense failure, poverty and abundance, complete friendship and utter isolation, for long periods.

This seems to correspond more with the name... yet my birth number June 21st 1973 (Gemini) is 21, the crown of the magi, which is completely fortunate. Would it be wise to attempt to change my name again...

4 doesn’t seem so bad, but then I read the chapters on 4 and 8, and I live at 409 Majestic Way. Does one just calculate the
409 to = 13 to = 4, giving me two 4s (which as explained in star signs is not a good idea)

Yet in other areas I read my address, 13 as powerful, and my name and birth date as strong and I shouldn't mess with them.

I know this is a long post, and my first. I have been discussing and researching things like this for a long time.

Blackout http://blackout.com http://blurpinkle.com http://destinyorigin.com

The start is the end of the middle
You never can figure this riddle
Until you go deep within
Your Destiny's you Origin
The Middle is the END of the START
FOREVER PLAYING the same part
Until you grown new eyes to see
you ORIGIN's your DESTINY.

- Michael Biggins -

posted September 23, 2007 04:39 PM           

You've shared some interesting thoughts here, thank you.
I'll be back later with more of a response as I'm pressed for time just now.

posted September 23, 2007 10:28 PM         

I am mystified that so many do this. They seem to be trapped, ie, they believe they have no choice. I'm inclined to believe that schools conditioned them into being wage slaves without hope like that. They NEED someone to put their work in front of them, to treat them like crap, and all that, because that's what they were conditioned for in school (and IS the point of schools) and simply can't imagine living any other way. But that's my guess.

I used to hold a serious grudge against Christianity because early Christians stopped the steam revolution over a thousand years ago. Had they not smashed the machines, burned the libraries, and killed the inventors, we very well may be intergalactic now. Thanks, Christians. Though I softened as I considered other possibilities, like maybe our species would be wiped out centuries ago, too, had the early Christians not plunged their world into a dark age before the technological revolution could take hold and spread. In any case, I ache that I can only walk on Earth, and not other worlds, see other stars up close, when I feel I should, that something went wrong that I'm bound to Earth.

I'm less inclined to believe in personal immortality. In any case, it's not important to me.

Though when I was about to commit suicide, and was restrained, I had a vision of the Goddess Freya that stopped me. Long story short, I "awakened" to find myself flying in a gigantic virgin forest. I heard singing and realized I was that song. I came to an especially huge tree and when I touched it I shouted "Yggdrasil" and "awakened" again to commune with Freya. This part I can't explain in words very well at all, but She essentially said that She Sung my soul into Existence and that I had to be strong, allow myself be tempered, so that I could stand with Her against Ragnarök. She also said that She didn't want me to "seek to be an eternal child" like the other religions, always trying to climb back into the womb that spit them out, but to grow up instead.

There's more I can say about it, but I don't feel like it right now. That's just the super short and sweet version.

As for your times of depression, there's a poem that has worked for me. Once, when I was imprisoned by a sociopath that I made the mistake of trusting, slashed and tortured and other stuff I don't want to go into, I endured and didn't give up because I kept repeating this poem over and over again:
http://www.poetry-archive.com/d/an_awful_tempest_mashed_the_air.html

It reminds me that bad and evil times come, but if one can endure, then one can live to see the dawn burn the bad away. But it's something of a double edged sword, for the poem reminds me in good times that the bad times will come again. But even in this there is good, for it makes the GOOD I enjoy that much more appreciated, and also reminds me that I've survived bad times before and can again. Anyway, it helped me survive a very traumatic experience, as I think I'd have given up and died without it, and it definitely helps with much lesser low points in my life.

As for your view of God or Good/Evil/All, that's common in the occult. There's even a Christian theology, never that popular but accepted (at least among the Eastern Orthodox) that God is beyond anything we can say about Him, so you can't say God is Good without saying God is Evil. More:
http://orthodoxwiki.org/Apophatic_theology

In the occult, angels and demons are different manifestations of the same Being. The demons are the "wrath of God" while angels are the "love of God." (God is generic here, so could just as easily be "Goddess," etc. After all, God is found in Woman just as much as in Man. God is in All, and All is a manifestation of the Divine.) Yin Yang.

There are plenty of traditions, in both the East and the West, that include learning about what is considered evil and mastering it just as one does what is considered good.

These trads have affected each other over the millennia and so you see their marks everywhere. Plus, those seeking to manipulate the people that believe in it have also co-opted the use of the symbols. And there are those that try to use the forces represented by those symbols, too. Then there's the entire "collective unconscious" thing.

Are there those in government that do this? I don't doubt it, for many reasons (both by individuals in government, and probably actual cults, too). That doesn't mean they're actually tapping the forces in the way they want though. I recall, eg, a Wiccan pointing out to me how the invasion of Iraq in 2003 was officially started and ended on occult equinoxes. Though the fighting still goes on to this day, it's obvious that someone somewhere in the government is trying to use occult symbols for one reason or another. Homeland Security, or so I read in Reason magazine, also tried using the eye over the pyramid or some such, but got shouted down as critics rightly realized that it would probably incite a revolution in the USA as millions decided the conspiracy theorists have been right all along (it was suggested that the symbol may have been suggested as a twisted joke and the bureaucrats were too ignorant to realize its significance).

As for tracking everyone, that's sorta like being a wage slave to me. There are always ways around it, and I already know people who make a living in the underground messing up RFID and the like. I'm not worried about it myself, though the more common it becomes, the more I will retreat from the cities of bleating sheep and ravenous wolves (on BOTH sides of the law) that seem to make them up by and large.

As for further input, I'll be back in a bit and I'll post several things you might find interesting. Some of them deal with the occult, with odd dreams I've had, and some may seem quite mundane to you. For the most part, I just have to copy and paste it here (with an explanation and/or small adaptions so that it makes sense or doesn't take up too much space, etc), though it's all my own writing.

posted September 24, 2007 04:32 AM         

*********************

There was a farmer who found out his horse had gotten away and run off. His neighbor commiserated only to be told, "Who knows what's good or bad?"

It was true. The next day the horse returned, bringing with it a drove of wild horses it had befriended in its wanderings. The neighbor came over again, this time to congratulate the farmer on his windfall. He was met with the same observation: "Who knows what is good or bad?"

True this time too; the next day the farmer's son tried to mount one of the wild horses and fell off breaking his leg. Back came the neighbor, this time with more commiserations, only to encounter for the third time the same response, "Who knows what is good or bad?"

And once again the farmer's point was well taken, for the following day soldiers came by commandeering for the army and because of his injury, the son was not drafted.

Who knows what's good or bad?

***************************

And apparently, I thought about this on a cosmic scale. In my dream I recorded on November 10, 2004, I was a member of an alien species. We were all pretty human in a way, only we weren’t (dream thing I guess). Our planet had colonized our system, but we stood to destroy each other with incredibly powerful weapons. We didn’t know if we’d ever make it beyond the star system, and now people were fighting to rule it all.

Then a craft came in. It revolutionized us. It was one of the two Voyagers that had been launched from Earth as a greeting to any who might it in the deep reaches of space. It was a godsend. It was made public before any agency could cover it up. It fueled the imaginations of many. There was life out there, and they had sent us an alien artifact!

Within 20 years, our entire system and species, inspired by this achievement, put aside differences and instead contested on who could make the best inventions, the best crafts that could visit this system.

Orators of all kind said that if a species could put aside its differences that it could send out messages into the void, we could do the same. Indeed, they must’ve known about us to have sent us this message. We heard bits of their bizarre lanuage, and their hauntingly beautiful music (once some of the damage had been cleaned up).

The technology was primitive, but it was but a subtle message: That we were squandering what technology we had.

Our species, revolutionized, the threat of war nearly gone, and we wanted to visit these Earthlings and thank them for helping us. We imagined they were benevolant and wise. And within a century, or two, it happened. We launched a craft that could travel using artificial warps.

Making it to the Sol system, we weren’t sure what to expect. We were a bit disconcerted when we saw little sign of any activity. Finally, making it to Earth, it finally became clear what had happened. Several doomsday devices had been employed. There was little left than a radioactive slag, and they had only reached a little ways into colonizing their system.

While we explored, this sad but beautiful darkwave song by Bella Morte (Funeral Night) played for me to hear, something I guess our sensors picked up somehow (but I'm not sure) that was like a requim for our [humanity] species:

with night fading fast
Warmth is but a memory of youth
As our day grows old
I can't bear to part
With so many things I hold so dear
But all things must fall
How well I know the grave

We must stand strong
And face our fears until the end
'Til the day when truth is found,
When at last we can rest

With night fading fast
Let us walk to keep the time away
My heart is so cold
I know what is right
What to do when all has passed away
Will you still stay strong?
Steadfast when will has gone?

As here we stand hand in hand
In this funeral night
Can't I see that we both will fall
Can't you see my dry tears
On this skin so cold
Even now the Reaper comes
Though you are here I am afraid
I am afraid, my love...

The news of the annihilation of the species that had saved ours caused us to collectively mourn them. Perhaps, it was theorized, that craft had been sent to us before the final, self-destroying wars were truly began, so that we would remember them.

And since they saved us from a similar fate, we always did. The Earthlings never knew of us, but we mourn them, and their bad example and last desperate act saved us from making the same mistake. We used our new crafts to find other worlds, to save them from the same fate. We had been transformed from a militant warrior race into an intergalactic mission of mercy, attempting to inspire other worlds to turn away from the path of self-destruction.

Many worlds came to owe Earth a debt of gratitude, and Venus and Mars were cleaned up and colonized by various species, and became a world for enemies to come and make their peace (as did multiple space stations). All these meetings included a tour of what Earth had become, a sight that would haunt many species and inspire them to turn away from relentless warfare.

The destruction of Earth's native sentients and life was incredibly tragic to look upon, especially given the irony of how they saved us from doing the same thing.

*****

As the person I am, I sometimes wonder if I didn't touch something in the far future and that I downloaded this dream as a result. But, if so, I can take comfort in being remembered and that many other worlds were saved as a result. This dream has made me more sensitive to the destruction of our species and our relentless warfare, but there is a bit of peace that comes contemplating this, too.

After all, who can say what is good or what is bad?

posted September 24, 2007 04:46 AM         

****************

On a Wednesday, May 3rd, 2005 if I recorded it right, I dreamed a force that tingled attached itself to my back as I was in bed going back to sleep and it shrouded me. I tried communicating with it and then I was in a dream. I had wild, gnarly psychokinetic abilities to the point that I was even able to run on the ceiling. My features became more appealing and I later was able to shapeshift as I desired.

Then I found myself in an area ("plane of existence") of others like myself. Some were very young like me, others were hundreds or thousands of years old. Some were "older than this cosmos." In retrospect, I would say they were angels, though for the most part, they mostly looked human.

But I was somehow unique in that I could see through Time, including the future probabilities and how to best navigate them. This allowed me to alert other angels to a trap. This was set up by what might be called "the devil" though the creature reminded me more of Kali.

After that incident with the trap, I met "God." He was like the most powerful angel of all, but he was not omniscient or omnipotent. God demanded predictability in order to best detect the location and intents of the Evil One. But even God had to acknowledge that this predictability created an inanity that wore down all of Creation (including himself) and prevented as much good as it prevented evil--in a sense that good and evil remain in balance for all of God's interference. And because of my unique ability that he could not predict, he stripped me of my angelic status (that he did not give to me anyway--we were "randomly chosen") and sent me back.

Back in my room, there was a hand print on the wall that I had touched (or so I recalled at this time) to become angelic. Feeling it was important, I touched it again. Then one of the angels I met appeared and slapped me around. "Next time I put you in the hospital," he said. I knew he wasn't lying.

I replied, "Either I'm being tested or God is afraid and limited for him to send you to guard against me." The angel simply vanished without comment or even acknowledgment that I had spoken.

I knew touching the hand print was doomed to failure, so I thought about it, trying to attune to that force that had coursed through me. I realized that the force was trying to touch me not the other way around--and that one thing I had learned is that I was pure thought. So I THOUGHT my way to that power without physically touching it and made it. I instantly escaped before the wrath of God and his angels became manifest.

I came to realize, thanks to my ability to pierce Time with Sight, that the Evil One (EO) was searching for some artifacts, and I went to an area that I foresaw as giving the EO the tools that it would finally defeat God. This was a site in an arid region somewhere between Arizona/New Mexico and the Yucatan (I don't recall for sure).

I found a guy there already searching the ruins and with my abilities (Sight, PK, etc), I helped to unearth many of the artifacts which included a bunch of swords, a chalice, a light crown with a red gem on it, and a whip.

As I handled them from the cache, I knew that the EO was coming and I yelled at the mortals to run. I don't think they made it. I quickly put on the crown and took up the biggest, most powerful sword in one hand and a whip in the other. A human couldn't access the powers within them, but I could. But as I did, I sensed God feel me handling them and knew God was coming, too.

We were all removed from time and space into an odd pseudo area. The EO picked up the rest of the items in the cache and the items crumbled into dust--and I sensed the EO fed off of them, growing more powerful. Then the EO looked at me and my items hungrily. I fought him as he attacked but It was too fast and strong and powerful.

But in trying to use my Sight, I noticed that the EO and I were both "illusionary projections" of forces at work elsewhere. This allowed me to survive mortal blows because "the blows never landed" and prevented a biofeedback loop that killed me. In a way it was like I was Neo in The Matrix movies, but it was more than that.

Then God and his angels were there and I gladly retreated.

But then the EO did something none of us expected--it killed God and the cosmos was engulfed in darkness, terror, and pain. Like the other angels, I shrieked in agony as I felt our very essence being ripped out and devoured by the EO. Seeing what the EO was doing, I pulled back at ITS essence and then found myself in the same arena that God and the EO had fought. There, God was not fully dead, but close, and I pulled on God using myself and my artifacts to do so, as I contested the wounded EO who was trying to do the same.

In the end, it was only my ability to see and navigate the future (which had grown exponentially) that allowed me to prevail. And that I drained the artifacts I still held and put in a power that "intoxicates" those who called on them instead to prevent them from instantly turning to ash. Then I dropped all items, as if I hoped the wounded EO would go for them and allow me a head start in running.

The EO first ran to the items and drank in their power, and then I counterattacked, finally finishing him off and draining him. Then I had all the powers of God and the EO and was essentially the new guardian/keeper of the cosmos.

I came to realize that the Cosmos had chosen me to remove the hindrance on its growth and actualization. God had gone too far, and God was not the creator, just the guardian--and a rogue one. Because God refused to acknowledge certain aspects of himself, his mind splintered creating the Evil One and the entity almost as powerful and undefeatable because God could not face that the Evil One was him.

So the Cosmos had chosen me to fight them both (being one entity) and liberate the cosmos from its/their grasp. To fully restore balance, chaos and chance had to have a moment to allow new births and thus new growth. This is why the cosmos chose me and what it now tasked me with.

The other angels were in despair and wanted me to repair the artifacts, thus creating a more balanced view (in order to achieve their cooperation in the beginning, God had to make certain concessions, such as giving over some of his power to the angels and artifacts, in order to secure their cooperation--which God needed to maintain order as he was neither omniscient nor omnipotent).

I made new artifacts instead, though, which still accomplished the purpose. Rather than crowns and weapons and instruments of punishment, I crafted them out of models and pix of serene natural vistas, glowing stars that circled the entity using them, and a globe that looked like whatever phase the moon was in. I also reinvested in the angels, restoring them to their previous levels. (It's true that many had been randomly chosen, but the EO had drained them, so I had their power within Me.)

I was still far more powerful than I imagined I could be and I saw the future--and it was beautiful. I saw the most beautiful wilderness, including on other worlds (some of them colonized by humans), with a wild galactic community that was exciting and beautiful.

I also sensed that I, too, would one day fall, and to help keep the last mistake from being made, I went searching for greater forces that I knew existed out there somewhere with the intent on making EVERYONE a god--mortal, angel, etc. Everyone, every species, every spirit. I knew this would spawn new cosmoses (and wouldn't always be pretty) and would prevent the enslavement of the cosmos as the last God had done.

In short, I would give birth to a constant Change that would ensure the maximum growth, birth, and actualization that had always been desired but had been unfortunately stifled in the last few billion years or so (knowing the time is more meaningless in the dream--I'm just approximating the "understanding" I had).

I felt a sense of accomplishment and ecstasy as I went about the biz of being God/dess (I transcended sex/gender in every way) in a comsos of beauty. I woke up feeling wonderful and in a really good, hopeful mood.

****************

The next day I dreamed I was trapped in my old high school. I sure could've used my divine powers then. :P

Anyway, don't know if it would interest you, but I had another dream somewhat similar, only there was a dark, sordid twist to it.

A few years ago I dreamed that I managed to kill a fairy-tale witch that was evil and had tried to transform me into an animal. And then I absorbed her powers and became a fairy-tale witch myself. I was also a bit wild, though I at least tried to focus my wickedness upon those that I felt deserved it.

And then what I call the "enigmatic powers" that just love to mess with my dreams and watch how I react came and changed it so that I had become the ruler of the world--the UN even conducted worship services to me. As an all-powerful witch, I worked to spread goodness and light and yet upon waking realized I was one of the most horrible tyrants the Earth had ever known. In the words of Galadriel from LotR: Fellowship of the Ring:

"In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair!"

Anyway, make of it what you will.

posted September 24, 2007 04:48 AM           

quote:

---

Since birth, I have felt 'out of place' on earth and with the supposed meaningless 'loops'

---

You are in the right company here atleast! Welcome 'home' to the asylum!

Now, talking about the symbols, you have put some very interesting thoughts, infact thought provoking "thoughts". Most people don't even take time to think anything, because survival is important. Would someone care for one days food, or do they care for the greate causes and abstract lies being spread?

I surely will agree with you to the effect of saying that, there is some kind of group conspiracy going on, what for, I am not sure. It is obvious to have a unified control over the earth, for whatever reason. Most people are made to perform their life as machines, just to make ends meet, and perish, while a few are taking all the wealth and manipulating to make as jackass out of others.

Talking about religion, I will never refute to making a mockery of religious people as a whole, because the vast majority are mere people who are on a spiritual progression, but there are some creeps in control who twists and turns the emotions of the millions to support the inferior causes.

And personally - symbols are merely symbolic, nothing more than that. Atleast (and luckily) I was born onto a belief set that preaches this thoughts.

Good luck.

posted September 24, 2007 04:51 AM         

Recorded on December 18, 2005:

********************

I had gotten off the comp this morn when a friend that I had just emailed a few minutes before called (since she knew I was up). She wanted us to go surfing with them. Having just gotten over a flu, I was thinking of saying no, but my roomie really wanted to go, so I agreed.

I am so glad for that.

We surfed as normal and the lingering depression and such from fighting off the flu was banished and I really enjoyed myself and the company. The morn was cloudy, but it was still beautiful, with fog in the distant hills, and the ocean itself vanishing off into the distant mists. There was rain, but it was very light--I'm not even sure it counts as rain. And hardly matters when you're in a wetsuit anyway.

And then the wind picked up. Friends had a wonderful idea, to try windsurfing. This was interesting, and I wasn't sure about it, having never done it before. When I finally tried, it took me some minutes just to not fall over, though they said I picked it up really fast. It was difficult because I had to hold my feet differently, and dealing with the harness. But at some point, WHOOSH, the SPEED! I couldn't help it: I screamed with joy, and I was SO glad we had come.

And then the sun broke through.... not direct, but close. The water turned from gray to aqua, and I was suddenly recalling when I was like 6-10, how I'd get up before Mom & Dad (and often before dawn back then) and go outside and explore, play, go to friend's houses.... I felt so free and there was a stark beauty to life that I rarely feel (at least sober) since I guess I became a teen. And then I surpassed even that, and I reached a state that was nothing less than ecstasy, I'd say on par (though distinct and different in its own way) to mind altering dancing or sex, and perhaps even more fulfilling in its own way.

If there was any doubt about fighting to survive the dark times in my life, it was dispelled at this moment of utter beauty in which I lived totally within this miraculous moment, my shout and my heart praising the Goddess of Life and for this moment in Life, one that was worth every horror and ache I had endured just to be here. Tears came down my face (just a few), and I knew that when I die, should my life flash before my eyes, this exact moment will be replayed, and if it affects my body at all, I will smile then, at peace, knowing it was all worth it in part to this one ineffable moment.

What else is there to say? My cold seemed to come back but it went away again, and it was hardly even noted (at least not by me--and we were all wet enough anyway). I found out that the wind was LIGHT (like how fast would I have gone in a HIGH wind???) Because we messed with the boards (including the beginner board I had borrowed), we failed to miss the churches getting out and ended up eating at a Pizza Hut for awhile to give the traffic a chance to die down more.

Now I am home. I've showered, dishes are now washing, warms are washing and hots are drying. Today was awesome, and I'm sharing. If you get a chance to try something new like that, and to be out in nature in a way that helps you to fuse with it, if just for a moment, then avail yourself of the moment. If more people did, psychiatry would be an endangered profession.

As the Wiccans say, Blessed Be (it seems appropriate to now).

posted September 24, 2007 06:58 AM         

******************

“Excellent, Stoppable-san,” answered Yori.

“I’m not sure why this is,” he continued. “I’ve practiced on my own and it just didn’t seem to come out except when it wanted to. Other than when I was evil.”

“Evil?” asked Yori.

“Um, yeah. There’s this device that inverts the personalities of anyone exposed to it, at least for awhile. When I was switched to evil, I had no problem using my mad monkey powers.” He blinked and added, “Among other things.

Yori shrugged. “It takes time to master these abilities. And maybe you wanted to be sure Kim saw you as a friend instead of someone to compete against, something you only cared about when you are, as you say, 'good'.”

“Maybe,” Ron said, “or maybe I was just more prone to apply myself when evil.”

Yori laughed. “You have proven yourself very devoted and reliable. And beside, good and evil are both a part of nature. There is good and evil in all things, and in all people. I have a hard time believing any device could dilute either good or evil to the point that it was all that existed. Such a person could not continue to exist as anything natural.”

“I don’t really get why ninjas are so beyond the good and evil thing.”

Yori shrugged. “That’s an oversimplification. We recognize good and evil as both having their place, and the goal is harmony and balance, and being a master of nature—the parts of it, and ourselves, that many call evil as well as the parts many call good—rather than being mastered by it. It’s like technology: we strive to master technology, not be mastered by it, as has happened to the cybernetic invaders.”

“Yeah, but good is good, you know? I mean do you want to live next to someone with a good heart or one with an evil heart?”

Yori nodded. “Point taken. However, there is great evil done by people with the best of intentions, such as the ones invading our world who see themselves as fighting the good fight. And evil people, in protecting their own interests, have proven quite capable of taking care of other evil people, sometimes more effectively than good people because the evil ones can better predict how evil people will act and can fight as dirty as they have to, when a good person or government would be thoroughly confused and incapable of fighting that same enemy using naïve goodwill and fair play.”

Ron shook his head. “So sometimes it’s good to be evil? See, that’s where you lose me.”

Yori shrugged. “It is how the ninja have survived. Our traditions come from religious exiles that have been persecuted throughout the centuries. And more than once, in Japan, samurai have drafted thousands to make war on the ninja. And more than once, the ninja struck directly at the samurai and their generals. The samurai, much more cowardly than they pretended to be, fled when they realized that they could not tyrannize or slaughter my people, and with them went their armies. The armies leaving meant that the conscripted peasant soldiers survived to return to their families, leaving fewer widows and orphans behind, and keeping their numbers big enough to discourage the war lords and nobility from brazenly raping and abusing the women and children. Likewise, assassins in other parts of the world have preserved their peoples from endless warfare by killing the leaders that declared the wars and blood feuds to begin with.”

“Ok, that makes a little more sense,” nodded Ron, though he was still obviously uncomfortable with the concept.

“And then the ninja clans have adopted many orphans. Remember, war and plague once claimed many more lives than they do today, and there were many children to be starved and abused on the streets. The ninja adopted them, saved them from misery and exploitation, which is good. They were then sent to seduce, befriend, and ultimately betray and murder the leaders of the society that the ninjas had saved them from. Is that good, or is that evil?”

Ron sighed. “Ok, now I’m confused again.”

“I was found as a runaway. I was abused in ways I do not wish to share with you yet, and I ran to the streets to escape it. There I found that criminals wanted to enslave me, force me onto hard drugs in order to control me—much like these nanites, now that I think about it—and also to destroy any sympathy I might have from strangers. The government then took to fining such unfortunates, who would have to continue to be sex slaves in order to pay the fines as well as support the pimps that enslave them.”

Ron was speechless. “Yori, I had no idea. I thought you were born into a ninja family. I don’t know what to say…”

Yori continued as if Ron hadn’t spoken. “But I evaded them and survived with cleverness, skill, and honor, and I impressed a ninja working for the Yakuza, and I began to be trained in the arts at the age of 12. However, my scruples were such that I was transferred to the Yamanouchi School. Because of these ninjas, good and evil, I was spared more family abuse, and the rape and abuse that was most likely to have happened to me on the streets, from both sides of the law.”

“So they’re more good than evil.”

“Of course, I am trained for spying, combat, manipulation, and trickery. Not all the methods I am expected to use are as honorable as I like. Though Sensei has shown great tolerance for my scruples, I fear that when he is replaced, I will be expected to do things I am most uncomfortable with. Good people like Sensei are very rare, as they usually have no taste for authority, and they are often more vulnerable to the dirty tricks of less principled people who seek to replace them. So, were the ninja good or evil in saving me, and many others like me, from a life that would make death seem preferable?”

Ron shook his head. Finally, he said, “Yori, I can’t call anyone evil that saved you from the alternative you were faced with.”

Yori looked at him intently, and said, “Hana’s parents are alive and don’t know where Hana is.”

“What?” asked Ron. “My sister?”

“Once it was known that Hana was special, a baby of prophecy, Sensei decided that she must be hidden in order to be protected. The family she was born into do not have the skills to care for her, and would be helpless to stop the evil ones who would try to corrupt Hana, steal her powers, or just kill her to make sure she could not grow to threaten them. Sensei did explain this to them and they agreed, hoping to be reunited with Hana when she is old enough to protect herself. But had they not agreed, I’d have likely been assigned to have kidnapped Hana in order to protect her, and I would’ve done so.”

Ron sat down. “I’m used to thinking in terms of good and evil, and there are so many shades of grey. What’s wrong with black and white? Why won’t it work anymore?”

Yori continued with a more abstract point. “And I understand that ‘free energy’ is used by the invading world, and may soon become available to this world. It’s a good thing that fossil fuels will no longer be able to pollute our world, that hospitals will no longer suffer power failure during disasters and the failure of power plants, and that energy can be used by anyone, not just to those who can afford to pay for it piecemeal.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” His tone still showed he was uncomfortable with this, as did his hands that he held over his head.

“But what happens to all those people who work in the oil industry? They will be unemployed, and many industries that support them and their workers will also suffer greatly. Plus, some will use that energy for nefarious purposes. You yourself have stopped Drakken more than once because great uses of energy had been detected. But in a world of free energy, your Wade would not be able to detect it until it was too late.”

“Ok, now that sounds bad!”

“Likewise, many oil barons in the Middle East use their money to fund terrorists, but they will dry up, and the terrorist cells they fund with them. The world will be greener and healthier with far less terrorists killing and kidnapping tourists.”

“Ok, now that sounds good!”

“That is because there’s good and evil in everything, Stoppable-san.”

Ron was silent a long time. Yori stood silently by him. About five minutes later, he softly said, “Our kissing has good and evil in it, too, doesn’t it?”

“Everything does.” Then Yori blinked. “And I almost forgot to tell you. Kim Possible has been captured and cured. She is still recovering, but she is who she once was.”