posted February 24, 2012 09:29 PM            

Thanks for the responses

posted February 25, 2012 10:21 AM            

Well, I believe when it comes to family,
it's karma, and in order to come
full-serpent-circle, we must forgive
all that is done. To hold onto the
negativity is harmful, you must just
forgive, and go on with your life...

And I believe it's that way with all
people, forgive, and let go, we can't
hold onto anger or dissappointment...

In my Eyes it's best to forgive all
that is done onto us..just like the
things that have happened to me here..
What good would it do me to hold onto
that, and not forgive?

So, I forgive all, as is done onto me..
no karma will hold me back this time..
for all is Forgiven...

And all that remains in my Heart
within me, is Love and Light...
Understanding that we are all
connected..and what is best for all. ...

Not me, not you, ALL

ALL for One, and One for ALL... .

Pax et Bonum

P.S. My sister threw us out, and
we've been homeless..I forgive her,
I won't forget, and I won't ever ask
her, for her help again..I've come to
learn I can't count on her!

posted February 25, 2012 01:23 PM            

*want to edit out sadness from the inter-ethers. lol ;P We shouldnt leave that kind of stuff hanging around.

Thanks for writing, you helped me put things in persepctive again.

posted February 25, 2012 01:48 PM            

Obviously, danger should not be ignored or continuing abuse tolerated, and I've emphatically advised some people to get far away from their evil or psychotically deranged parents before. The absolute worst I can think of was someone I knew who said she had to forgive sexual abuse because she was a Christian and that meant he could do it again. In that case I'd find it much easier to forgive someone who dragged that forgiveness-preaching child molester behind a truck until he was dead than to forgive the child molester. Hey, forgiveness is for all, not just for the one person who claims exclusive right to it.

And I don't think one should feel obligated to be as forgiving as I have, but I do believe that in forgiving them I keep myself from hating what happened to me and thus ruminating over past wrongs until I feel miserable and hateful and thus depressed about things I cannot change. That is, forgiving them has helped me while my forgiveness or lack thereof probably doesn't affect them at all (as any contact is fleeting). Granted, I've been sad at moments because of how mom and especially dad keep me at a distance but I just ultimately shrug it off and focus on what I do get from others who know and love me and see it as more their loss than mine. The lyrics of Hurt by Christina Aguilera really speak to me and I never want to feel that pain myself.

The most important part is to realize we're all flawed, and that means not only everyone around you (including those who willfully or accidentally hurt you) but also yourself. If you can accept this forgiveness then inner peace is so much easier. I know it's not always so easy, there are grudges I still hold that I wish I could let go of and I can also really beat myself up over stupid things I've done when I should just let it go, but that's part of being flawed, and MOST of the time I seem able to do it, and that ability keeps me from being in bondage to depression over things I cannot change. I also take some comfort in that those events that I find hard to put behind me serve as learning experiences to keep me from repeating similar mistakes in the future.

And speaking of which, forgiveness doesn't mean refusing to learn, thus allowing others to repeatedly take advantage of you. It means accepting human weakness for your own peace of mind rather than upsetting yourself over and over by endlessly thinking about past wrongs. In some cases, redemption is required which means PROVING the offender has truly experienced a desire to change and has made progress in that direction before one "forgets" as well as forgives (and btw, this can be true even in forgiving yourself).

posted February 25, 2012 05:42 PM            

i almost forgot....i don't like to share things here anymore.

posted July 19, 2012 10:45 AM            

1. Forgiveness

They say, 'Forgive and forget.', which is very expressive of the process of forgiveness. It is impossible to forgive unless you can forget. What keeps man from forgiving his fellow man is that he holds the fault of another constantly before his view. It is just like sticking a little thorn in one's own heart and keeping it there and suffering the pain. It may also be pictured as putting a drop of poison in one's own heart and retaining it until the whole heart becomes poisoned. Verily, blessed are the innocent, who do not notice anybody's fault, and the greater credit is to the mature souls, who, recognizing a fault, forget it and so forgive. How true are the words of Christ, 'Let those throw a stone who have not sinned.' The limitations of human life make man subject to faults. Some have more faults, some have less, but there is no soul without faults. As Christ says, 'Call me not good.' 1

Forgiveness is a stream of love, which washes away all impurities wherever it flows. By keeping this spring of love, which is in the heart of man, running, man is able to forgive, however great the fault of his fellow man may seem. One who cannot forgive closes his heart. The sign of spirituality is that there is nothing you cannot forgive, there is no fault you cannot forget. Do not think that he who has committed a fault yesterday must do the same today, for life is constantly teaching and it is possible in one moment a sinner may turn into a saint.

At times it is hard to forgive, as it is hard to take away the thorn that has gone deep into one's heart. But the pain that one feels in taking away the thorn deepest in the heart is preferable to keeping the thorn in the heart constantly. The greater pain of a moment is better than the mild pricking going on constantly. Ask him who forgives what relief there is in forgiveness. Words can never explain the feeling of the heart when one has cast out the bitter feeling from one's heart by forgiving and when love spreads all over within oneself, circulating like warm blood through one's whole being.

Hazrat Inayat Khan

posted July 19, 2012 01:42 PM            

Very inspiring! And every word is like a gold nugget that can be taken to the bank.

posted July 19, 2012 10:27 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Hazrat Inayat Khan:They say, 'Forgive and forget.', which is very expressive of the process of forgiveness. It is impossible to forgive unless you can forget. What keeps man from forgiving his fellow man is that he holds the fault of another constantly before his view. It is just like sticking a little thorn in one's own heart and keeping it there and suffering the pain. It may also be pictured as putting a drop of poison in one's own heart and retaining it until the whole heart becomes poisoned. Verily, blessed are the innocent, who do not notice anybody's fault, and the greater credit is to the mature souls, who, recognizing a fault, forget it and so forgive. How true are the words of Christ, 'Let those throw a stone who have not sinned.' The limitations of human life make man subject to faults. Some have more faults, some have less, but there is no soul without faults. As Christ says, 'Call me not good.'

---

What exactly does he mean by "forget"? Does he mean "don't obsess over it"? And what is meant by "fault"? Does he mean a general tendency to make mistakes (as opposed to a pattern or intent of malice, abuse, and exploitation)?

I expect that English is his 2nd language and he may not have used the language as clearly as he liked.

posted July 20, 2012 01:16 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by PixieJane:
What exactly does he mean by "forget"? Does he mean "don't obsess over it"? And what is meant by "fault"? Does he mean a general tendency to make mistakes (as opposed to a pattern or intent of malice, abuse, and exploitation)?

I expect that English is his 2nd language and he may not have used the language as clearly as he liked.

I sympathize with much that was said (reserving the right to quibble on a point or two) but that first paragraph struck me as a recipe for disaster, and I'm wondering if I'm missing some context.

---

Hi PixieJane. I'm no expert but I'll try and interpret for greater clarity. Juni can correct me if I misunderstood.

I think by forget he doesn't mean delete it (an incident) completely from memory, but rather suggests not to hold it in the forefront of one's mind so that it keeps remaining fresh as the day it happened.

And by fault he means the weakness or "wrongness" of the other person that made him/her commit the transgression in the first place.

Since faults or weaknesses are the reason we transgress, he's suggesting that even if we recognize someone's weakness we should try to forgive ... which would necessarily involve a certain degree of forgetting or distancing from the original pain so that the pain doesn't remain fresh in our minds. Because it is this constant "remembering" that is the root cause of our pain when someone hurts us ... "like sticking a little thorn in one's own heart and keeping it there and suffering the pain."

He also says that in order to not hold the other's fault in the forefront of our minds, it would help to remember that none of us is without fault or, in other words, none of us is perfect.

posted July 22, 2012 05:23 PM            

Long explanation short: One person who preached forgiveness to me doesnt realize I don't feel I need to forgive them for anything. I just don't care for them or want that person a part of my life anymore. The person likes to make is seem like I am incapable of forgiving, when I don't even feel like there is anything to forgive because I don't care anymore.

posted July 23, 2012 10:18 PM            

Um...well, I'd forgive you, if i felt i needed to. But for what? Being yourself? Sorry I don't want you in my life. Doesnt mean I hate you. You are just being you. That doesnt warrent forgiveness. I can accept that and move on. If i don't like you or want you in my life, that doesnt automatically mean i have something against you or something I need to forgive you for. Just move on and go do your own forgiving somewhere else.

posted July 23, 2012 10:36 PM            

In the process of coming to terms with the situation, I gradually realized that I was just mourning the lack of character in the other person.

It wasn't even about forgiveness for me, it was more about morbid curiosity ("Why would someone DO that?!") and I don't think I ever forgave, really...I just lost interest.

posted July 23, 2012 10:37 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
And I only work on relationships that are worthwhile and healthy. No time or energy for the dysfunctional ones anymore.

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posted July 24, 2012 01:43 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Faith:

In the process of coming to terms with the situation, I gradually realized that I was just mourning the lack of character in the other person.

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Happens to me all the time. Should have learned my lesson by now, but I'm afraid that my faith in humanity would be the last to go.