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Topic: Being assertive within your faith
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RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 21, 2012 03:47 PM
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juniperb Moderator Posts: 5551 From: Blue Star Kachina Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 21, 2012 09:23 PM
Adab. Losely translated means: manners / courtesy to God and fellow human beings.. As long as one is respectful, does not cause harm by name calling , criticizing or demeaning another for their beliefs or actions , one can still be Faithful and assertive. ------------------ As Angels above guide Human beings, Human Beings have the opportunity to be Angels on Earth, who guide the Animal kingdom. - Da Vinci IP: Logged |
PixieJane Knowflake Posts: 1283 From: CA Registered: Oct 2010
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posted July 21, 2012 10:05 PM
I thought it was an ancient Christian tradition to admonish people for behaving inappropriately. IP: Logged |
Xiiro Moderator Posts: 1355 From: San Diego CA, USA Registered: Jun 2011
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posted July 23, 2012 01:13 PM
In the Buddhist traditions I have studied, the type of situation you describe is not a completely unfortunate one. Instead of being overcome with anger, you could use the practice of stopping and looking deeply when those feelings arise again. Your reaction of anger arises from an attachment (expecting people to act a certain way, a memory of being treated similarly by someone you respected, ..etc) and these people are placing you in a special situation to view, release, and understand why you have this specific habit to make your self miserable over something which you have no control.In stopping and looking deeply at your reaction of hurt or anger in this situation, the origin of your reaction, and where continuing to react that way will lead you in the future, light can be shed on the real problem. It would be completely natural and healthy to go to these people and express how the situation makes you feel, but only after the practitioner sees the situation clearly, realizes that they only comprehend half of the story and the person acts that way because they are suffering from attachment too, and understands that though the person may be acting a way in which they disapprove, their responsibility is not to make the person stop, but to understand their reaction to this person's actions. It sounds a bit complex but the practice becomes second nature when applied. Additionally Jesus was assertive, but that assertiveness is explained as an understanding that his time to teach was limited. Jesus still lived the "turn the other cheek" philosophy. He was assertive in response to people who doubted, second guessed, or stood in the way of his teachings, but I don't recall a time he is documented pointing his finger at a person and saying, "You hurt my feelings". He did contrarily chastise his disciples for carrying around and acting out of views like that. Even after being betrayed by his closest friends and tortured to death by his own country, he asked God's forgiveness for his perpetrators. He did this not because he thought it was the Christian thing to do, but because he looked deeply at the station and understood, "They know not what they do". The people who harmed him were doing it out of fear, greed, hurt, ignorance, and a whole slew of other issues, which can be impossible to overcome when left to run rampant. IP: Logged |
juniperb Moderator Posts: 5551 From: Blue Star Kachina Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 25, 2012 05:24 PM
Beautiful post but especially nice: quote: In stopping and looking deeply at your reaction of hurt or anger in this situation, the origin of your reaction, and where continuing to react that way will lead you in the future, light can be shed on the real problem. It would be completely natural and healthy to go to these people and express how the situation makes you feel, but only after the practitioner sees the situation clearly, realizes that they only comprehend half of the story and the person acts that way because they are suffering from attachment too, and understands that though the person may be acting a way in which they disapprove, their responsibility is not to make the person stop, but to understand their reaction to this person's actions.
------------------ As Angels above guide Human beings, Human Beings have the opportunity to be Angels on Earth, who guide the Animal kingdom. - Da Vinci IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted July 25, 2012 05:35 PM
I haven't been ignoring this topic--I've just wanted to think about it more.But, xiiro, you did have a lot of things to say that really struck me, so I want to give it time and really think more on it. Thanks to all! IP: Logged |
Randall Webmaster Posts: 23598 From: Saturn next to Charmainec Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 26, 2012 08:52 AM
An interesting string.------------------ "Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 14, 2012 06:05 AM
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Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 533 From: charlotte, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 14, 2012 06:59 AM
For myself, hat I've found is that being assertive does not work well for me, I simply do not have that sort of gift.What I have found is people want to be listened to and deep down know when whatever it is that is troubling them is probably something they should not have be engaged in. Granted that is not everyone, which is a different matter altogether. This is a nearly universal thought in every faith or humanistic philosophy I've studied, it is also showing compassion to both listen and to offer sound advice on whatever it is the other person is dealing with if one is capable of doing so. I suspect that one of the reasons why Christians have limited impact is that advice will usually be along the lines of "let go, let God". 66 books in the Bible, thousands of yrs of wisdom contained therein, that phrase does not exist..and yet it is sort of the approach. IP: Logged |
Xiiro Moderator Posts: 1355 From: San Diego CA, USA Registered: Jun 2011
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posted August 14, 2012 02:13 PM
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RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 15, 2012 02:18 AM
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Xiiro Moderator Posts: 1355 From: San Diego CA, USA Registered: Jun 2011
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posted August 15, 2012 04:16 AM
Just tell me when you have written it down and I will go ahead and remove it. The offer to talk stands. I don't feel strung along, you are welcome to take or leave the offer. =) I understand your reluctance and in many cases feel it is smart to be cautious with who one opens up to on the internet. Just know if you need someone to talk to, toss ideas at, vent, or just help organize chaotic situations,..I exist. =) PS: I'm glad to hear you were able to recognize your anger as it came and passed. I am also happy to hear you waited to act until you were in a better frame of mind. Recognition is an important step in fixing any problem and you are showing signs of working toward a resolution for your self. IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 15, 2012 04:32 PM
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RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 16, 2012 05:35 PM
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 38490 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 16, 2012 06:16 PM
I feel certain people are led to me. I will, usually, have a supernatural love for them, which will not be deterred by their actions.I used to try to help everyone but learned( from being burned) that it is not my assignment. If i don't feel led to reach out to someone, I won't. I will share my faith whenever asked, but I don't go throw it on someone, unbidden  ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 533 From: charlotte, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 16, 2012 06:17 PM
Well, the town I live in is very anti Christian, as in casual conversations can happen about how much someone may dislike Christians.There are two approaches to that, one is to argue, which never works, the other is, as Francis of Asis said, evangelize and use words if you have to use them. Sadly, one can see the trainwrecks coming in their lives from taking such an approach, however it is sometimes better to let the burned hand teach best. Strictly my .02 on that one IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 16, 2012 08:21 PM
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Padre35 Knowflake Posts: 533 From: charlotte, NC, US Registered: Jul 2012
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posted August 17, 2012 03:14 AM
Believe it or not but Isaiah 63, and John 14:27.Also find comfort in "if you loved me, you would be happy for me" You heard me say to you, ‘I am going away, and I will come to you.’ If you loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.
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RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 19, 2012 01:56 PM
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 38490 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 19, 2012 02:02 PM
I don;t go to church. If people screw with me, I would rather have it not be church people  ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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juniperb Moderator Posts: 5551 From: Blue Star Kachina Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 19, 2012 02:24 PM
quote: I don't mean to whine or complain, as I know that I'm overall a lucky person compared to some who are far worse off than me. Still, I can't talk about this anywhere else and I just need to vent.
I don`t take it as whining but rather a valid concern for you ------------------ We dance around the ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and Knows Robert Frost IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 19, 2012 02:33 PM
quote: Originally posted by juniperb: I don`t take it as whining but rather a valid concern for you
thanks; I need that IP: Logged |
RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 21, 2012 06:51 AM
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RegardesPlatero Moderator Posts: 4367 From: Registered: Sep 2011
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posted August 22, 2012 08:14 AM
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Ami Anne Moderator Posts: 38490 From: Pluto/house next to NickiG Registered: Sep 2010
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posted August 22, 2012 08:33 AM
I had someone diss me the other day and I didn't care. It takes TIME and getting rejected a LOT. Being a Mod will teach you that it doesn't matter if you are liked. You have to like yourself. Stick with being a Mod in your Forum and you will grow to where things like this will not be a huge deal. ------------------ Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal http://www.mychristianpsychic.com/
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